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Thread: Clarity at last

  1. #1

    Clarity at last

    Greetings Brethren,

    I have been requested to post an intro on this site, so here it goes.

    I grew up in a multiple marriage family in Northern Alberta. Both of my biological parents were and are hard-working, Western European immigrants.

    When I was three years old, my biological father became a proverbial bank-machine, see-you-every-second-weekend-dad, and was replaced by my step-dad who was an mangina, alpha-male, Scottish-Canadian entrepreneur. I once saw my two dads get into a fist fight on our front lawn -- instigated by my mother, of course. I had a half-sister from my mother's first marriage, two step-sisters from my step-father's first marriage, and a full-blooded brother. In my household, until the age of fourteen, discipline came mostly in the form of violence. At the same time, paradoxically, I was loved and materially spoiled.

    I developed a fear of women at a young age. My mother, like most (all) women, was, and is, emotionally unstable. The public teachers were mostly women and I had sensed a favoritism towards the female gender in the public institutions, even though it was clear to me that the males were more intelligent and creative. I had the reading capacity of an adult when I was a child and made the gifted program.

    Growing up I made the observation that my biological mother was manipulating my step-father into detesting his own female children. One time my mother drove my step-father into a fury that almost made him kill his daughter. I was only nine at the time, but I saved her by attempting to choke him out. Today they vehemently deny that any such violent occurrences ever happened. This, despite my recollection of numerous bloody noses and public spankings at their behest. As well, my step-sister has been on antidepressants for close to twenty years and has been living within the framework of multiple marriage families herself.

    When I was thirteen I thought that the grass would be greener on the other side and moved in with my biological father and his newlywed wife in Ontario. It wasn't. His wife detested both my brother and I and used passive aggressive techniques to provoke us to say harsh things -- sometimes it worked. She was an upper-class and Anglican that lived off of her rich daddy's money even though she had earned a Master's degree in Law at the University of Toronto (that her daddy paid for, of course). Now I'm not saying that I was an angel by any means. By that time I had been completely demoralized by the public school culture (sexual inferiority + lack of stimuli + gangster rap music + pop culture garbage).

    In terms of relationships, I've had a few.

    I'd give myself a seven. Short, ripped, athletic, full head of hair, green eyes, and crooked teeth.

    My first serious girlfriends were alpha-females and quickly made the observation that I was "unwhippable".

    Throughout my twenties I spent near all of the money I made in the summer doing bush work in the northern wild to educate myself during the other three seasons. I earned an undergraduate, masters, and doctorate -- all in chem eng. Now I am 38. I have 10K in debt, but have a job and will in the black soon.

    For the most part, I avoided women and partying during my university years. I did, however, get involved with a feminist for about a year. She was useless and full of shit. Now she's a school teacher.

    In 2007 and broke out of the matrix. I saw the collapse of Building 7 for the first time. This
    prompted me to figure out the monetary system. This happened during my doctorate and I found that none of my peers wanted to wake up. Particularly my "directors" -- AKA useless tenured bureaucrats (i.e. professors).

    I ghosted for a couple of years after my doctorate doing under-the-table construction work and bounced between Chile, Canada, and Southern Europe. I was involved with a business woman in Chile for the past two years. I broke up with her yesterday. That will be my final relationship. I must conclude that woman is a stupid, childish, useless, self-absorbed criminal that does not deserve the time of day. Reading "The Manipulated Man" has confirmed what I have subconsciously known for a long time now.

    I am a MGTOW now -- doing things that I love without the distraction of women. Overall, humanity is better off with me going my own way. I am passionate about applied philosophy and have already spent countless hours working on alternative energy solutions and am an expert in thermodymanics among other useful subject matter. My current goal is to attain business acumen so that I can better go my own way.

    Cheers

  2. #2
    Senior Member Hesiod's Avatar
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    Re: Clarity at last

    Sounds like you have had a rough ride, welcome to the forum
    "Whoever has trusted a woman has trusted deceivers." .... Hesiod

    If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much




  3. #3
    Senior Member John Deer's Avatar
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    Re: Clarity at last

    Welcome to the forum. I learned about the banking system back in 99 through detax and corp. sole and soveirnty law. Learned about red pill on YouTube practicing up on the dating path. I thought it was just me when faced with female integrity issues. Boom MGTOW.

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    Re: Clarity at last

    "Growing up I made the observation that my biological mother was manipulating my step-father into detesting his own female children. One time my mother drove my step-father into a fury that almost made him kill his daughter. I was only nine at the time, but I saved her by attempting to choke him out. Today they vehemently deny that any such violent occurrences ever happened."

    This is called gaslighting. When I confronted my brother about him blackmailing me, he not only denied that it happened, but twisted the story into making it appear that I WANTED him to do the things he did. Countering this is simple enough, believe in your own memory and perception.

    Your story sounds quite dispassionate, almost like it happened to a different person. I don't doubt its authenticity, but my question is: do you think that your upbringing made you different than other people? If so, in what way?

    Welcome to the forum!

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Clarity at last

    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyBunnito View Post
    I broke up with her yesterday. That will be my final relationship.
    Note that age - 38. It's usually in your mid-30s when the fog finally lifts.

    Welcome to the forums.

  6. #6

    Re: Clarity at last

    Quote Originally Posted by Aintdealingwithyoshit View Post
    "Growing up I made the observation that my biological mother was manipulating my step-father into detesting his own female children. One time my mother drove my step-father into a fury that almost made him kill his daughter. I was only nine at the time, but I saved her by attempting to choke him out. Today they vehemently deny that any such violent occurrences ever happened."

    This is called gaslighting. When I confronted my brother about him blackmailing me, he not only denied that it happened, but twisted the story into making it appear that I WANTED him to do the things he did. Countering this is simple enough, believe in your own memory and perception.

    Your story sounds quite dispassionate, almost like it happened to a different person. I don't doubt its authenticity, but my question is: do you think that your upbringing made you different than other people? If so, in what way?

    Welcome to the forum!
    Thanks for expanding my diction.

    My answer would be that everyone has a different history. Their history is, to a large degree, what makes them tick. I'm happy that I survived. Suicide has crossed my mind on more than one occasion.

    I notice that I can outwork just about everyone I know. My step-dad made me feel like a total pussy if I couldn't do something and he had an explosive temper. So failure wasn't really an option. His dad was a super alpha male (I never met him). I always wanted to please my parents even after I left home at seventeen. Also, my past and present employers love me. Men, generally speaking, love me, too. (Women, not so much. But that may be because they are incapable of loving men altogether.) I have always been the weirdest guy in the room with a dark sense of humor. I think out of my childhood came a great fear of failure and desire to please...or pay the consequences. Unfortunately, I also have a tendency of letting people take advantage of me even though I realize that it's happening.

    Sorry. It's all very subjective and I wish I had a better answer.

    Notably I saw my biological father for the first time in fifteen years just a couple of months ago. He walked right by me on the street . I called his wife an aristocratic cunt on Christmas Eve after going through a session of her passive-agressive technique and was told to never come back (fifteen years ago). My brother defooed himself from everyone except my biological father fifteen years ago as well (I still haven't seen him). He was completely suicidal by the end of our childhood (scary dude). My dad said that unless he initiated contact with him that he would never hear from him either.

    Of course, my mother and step mother takes no responsibility for any of their children's conditions; they are the victims.

    I view this generation of men as beat down but in the midst of a grand awakening in regards to cause and effect. The fact that woman has garnered so much power over the state through voting rights during the past century explains the nature in the warfare/welfare state (womanly) and the obliteration of the father-son bond.


    Cheers, and thanks for the question. Writing these things down is very therapeutic....

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    Re: Clarity at last

    The way I see it, the past shapes who we are, but it does not determine who we become. As I share a similar, albeit less dramatic background, I'm always interested how this affected other people and how they decided to move on.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Clarity at last

    Nice intro man...I can relate to much of your story...minus the higher education part...

    Welcome to this place


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