When I want a woman and cannot afford one, one will not be provided.
When I can afford a woman, I don't want one anymore. I'd rather keep my moneyz.

When I do not want a woman, they will all grant me false acclaim, platitudes, and praise.
They will lie about my greatness and legend to their friends because they want to carry
my baby and gloat over their own "frenemies".

It's all they can do, and most of it doesn't seem worth doing to me.

If I can afford a woman, I will be judged by the money I spend and my ability to fend
off all other suitors, with or without showing up in court for her law suit or else.

Suitors is a perfect name. It describes the impending Law Suit or else she gets her way.
I've had some bad days in court where if I could not afford an attorney one would be provided
to me at no cost to give me some really bad advice. Thanks, but no thanks.

Nearly all sexual congress with women implies an End User License Agreement which is subject
to change without notice, a priory, ex post facto, ad nauseum with nearly total impunity, immunity,
and presumption of correctness on behalf of the woman and the state.

Again, Thanks, but no thanks.

I would rather rule myself and no other than choose to be ruled.