Thread: Does anyone have trouble ghosting in plain sight?

Good afternoon my friendly ghosts,

I have been having a struggle as of late. I am feeling an increasing frustration with seeing things wrong with the world around me and not saying anything. I am finding it difficult to turn a blind eye sometimes when I hear someone say, "We need more socialism so these people can get a living wage." It pisses me off and I find myself getting more and more vocal in giving my very detailed opinion in these matters. As a white-collar worker, this can be very bad if you even hint that you are not a content worker drone.

Without divulging the details I almost went too far today when I stood up for myself and someone jokingly mentioned "HR" as if they would report me to it (just a joke man). A joke? In 2019? The year of #me-too? You make a joke like this and you don't know why that would piss me off? "Just a joke man. You're too sensitive." I almost got stung today by the blue-pilled world and it is a reminder on why I keep my cards to my chest and ghost in the first place. It is just getting hard sometimes to keep my mouth shut and pretend to be a zombie all day.

Does anyone here have any mental practices to enter the matrix as a ghost from day-to-day? Maybe any sort of meditation techniques?

Does anyone have any advice on how to maintain an indifferent attitude even though you hear opinions you disagree with?

Any thoughts or ideas are always welcome and I look forward to your guys' response.

Cheers,




Bonobo

Without knowing the particulars of the conversation you were in that drew the "HR" response, I can only imagine how frustrated you were with whatever you heard them say. My hunch is that you delivered a strong response and/or a detailed response, in hopes of educating them?

All I can think to offer at this moment is to dial back the potency of whatever you did say that made them turn into jerks. For instance, maybe the next conversation can go like this:

Them: "Gee, wouldn't socialism be nice?"

You: "No country who's lived it would agree."

or

You: "Socialism is the worst way of increasing wages. That's why collective bargaining exists. Much smarter."

In other words, use a penny nail instead of a spike. Hard for me to see them trying that "HR" threat on these responses.

Sorry in case I've missed your point. I worked in a union environment so of course we all we very much into the benefits of collective bargaining. Socialism would not have gone over well as a topic with us.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Sorry in case I've missed your point. I worked in a union environment so of course we all we very much into the benefits of collective bargaining. Socialism would not have gone over well as a topic with us.

I appreciate the feedback Unboxxed. No you didn't miss my point at all. I do agree I need to come off in a less combative tone. I must admit the older I get, the harder it is to let things slide. I guess it's harder for me to care what others think now unlike when I was younger. I will have to just learn to keep my mouth shut but that is getting increasingly harder.

I'm pretty sure the guy was just joking about the HR response but that really rubbed me the wrong way. All I ever wanted to do is be a good ghost and go my own way.

Originally Posted by Bonobo Protocol

I appreciate the feedback Unboxxed. No you didn't miss my point at all. I do agree I need to come off in a less combative tone. I must admit the older I get, the harder it is to let things slide. I guess it's harder for me to care what others think now unlike when I was younger. I will have to just learn to keep my mouth shut but that is getting increasingly harder.

I'm pretty sure the guy was just joking about the HR response but that really rubbed me the wrong way. All I ever wanted to do is be a good ghost and go my own way.

I hear you. Some days, I think the whole fucking world is nuts. Most days, it's just that Seattle, where I live, is nuts. Too often, if I'm not careful, in my mind I will accuse the entire younger generation of being exploited for what they have not lived long enough to know. Gee, was I that naive when I was young? I refuse to believe it. But, in saying that, I am not excusing the exploiters but condemning them.

When I get like that, it's time for me to log off and go do yard work or something. However, if by some miscalculation I am wrong, and that the country is indeed going to hell and not just doing its sine wave thing, I've already got it figured out how to manage my stash of cash all the way to my finish line while those folks who had placed me on ignore can later reap what their naivete had them so proudly promote in their social network lovefest.

Do I sound like a grumpy old man or what?

Try reading some stoic philosophy. I'm reading this book at the moment and it's brilliant.

https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-P...dp/0140449337/

The philosophy would interpret your situation as follows; It wasn't the joke that angered you, but your opinion of it, and that is completely within your control.

Your going to have to back off some and let it go. No good will come from arguing with people who will never see things your way. If you say what you think and drop it, that's ok. Just don't get drawn into an argument.

You can still have friends and be part of the group, in fact I don't see how you could survive if you didn't. But you need to get to a place where you don't feel the need to share your thoughts on topics that stirs shit with the blue pill types. It can be done. I managed, though I no doubt had some luck.

No one in management likes to admit it, but being an otherwise quality employee will work wonders when it comes to a pissing match between workers and they don't know who's right. A flakes complaint against a good worker is far more likely to be dismissed. It's not a get out of jail free card, nor will it save you if your wrong. But it can and has saved many good workers. Best not to count on it though, nothing works all the time.

Heh, back then, ghosting was all I was good at because I was afraid of confrontation, until I learned that there are things that need to be checked, especially if it is directly towards you. In most cases I would try to mind my own business in most cases until it's directly at my face. I do have to admit, something like that would have me heated, someone making a HR joke as if the workplace doesn't have enough tension in it already. I guess to make it simple, "Don't speak unless you're spoken to." it makes things less awkward that way.

Ghosting, properly done, is a live and and let live proposition, it's indifference to the point there's no emotional bonding, no concern, no attachments, no cares, just peace and good will. Ghosting done right has no bitterness, no resentment, no vindictiveness, just the realization that some have much lower moral standards than others and that they're not on par with your level of tolerance and decisiveness, they think it's okay to screw people, lie, cheat, be dishonest, but we know otherwise and judge people on their good or bad rapport. I found most MGTOW are badgers when it comes to bullshit and we like tearing it to shreds. In other words, we're sharp!

@Unboxxed...No you don't sound like a grumpy old man to me because I feel the same way too. I'm sorry that you're in Seattle because I've heard the liberalism there is out of control.

The yard work thing isn't a bad idea. I guess I need to realize that most people and their opinions do not matter. Focusing on myself and retreating internally is something that I need to practice. It is a ghosting tactic that I need to work on a bit.

Originally Posted by UnFucked

Try reading some stoic philosophy. I'm reading this book at the moment and it's brilliant.

https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-P...dp/0140449337/

The philosophy would interpret your situation as follows; It wasn't the joke that angered you, but your opinion of it, and that is completely within your control.

I hear stoicism talked about a lot in this community and it's always been a philosophy that has interested me. Thank you for your book recommendation.

Originally Posted by frog

You can still have friends and be part of the group, in fact I don't see how you could survive if you didn't. But you need to get to a place where you don't feel the need to share your thoughts on topics that stirs shit with the blue pill types. It can be done. I managed, though I no doubt had some luck.

Thank you for your advice frog. I have to keep reminding myself that these people are not my friends and are still plugged in. I just got a little jolt that reminded me of that. Luckily this website exists and I can voice my thoughts with other likeminded individuals. I think I'm just going to have to put on the Bruce Wayne mask when I'm at work.

Originally Posted by JaydenJazz

Heh, back then, ghosting was all I was good at because I was afraid of confrontation, until I learned that there are things that need to be checked, especially if it is directly towards you. In most cases I would try to mind my own business in most cases until it's directly at my face. I do have to admit, something like that would have me heated, someone making a HR joke as if the workplace doesn't have enough tension in it already. I guess to make it simple, "Don't speak unless you're spoken to." it makes things less awkward that way.

You completely spoke my mind. I used to be so good at this too. I never really tried to confront people or speak my mind. That is why I don't know what has gotten me off track. I just see so much stuff I disagree with in this world and is seems to be coming at me from all angles. That's exactly right about the HR joke. "Huh, huh...its just a joke man." Really? With all the false accusations given credence in 2019? And you make a joke like this? That just really pushed all the wrong buttons for me I guess.

I'm glad you see where I'm coming from JaydenJazz. I maybe thought I was the one out of line.

Originally Posted by mgtower

Ghosting, properly done, is a live and and let live proposition, it's indifference to the point there's no emotional bonding, no concern, no attachments, no cares, just peace and good will. Ghosting done right has no bitterness, no resentment, no vindictiveness, just the realization that some have much lower moral standards than others and that they're not on par with your level of tolerance and decisiveness, they think it's okay to screw people, lie, cheat, be dishonest, but we know otherwise and judge people on their good or bad rapport. I found most MGTOW are badgers when it comes to bullshit and we like tearing it to shreds. In other words, we're sharp!

That is what I want to get too. I want to get to a mindset of total indifference. I have tried to become this way through clearing my mind and reminding myself that in 100 years, none of this or these people will matter. It is just something I'll have to work on I suppose.

I guess I'm wondering where the line is from becoming indifferent to everything and being a robot. I mean I'm a human being and alive.

Appreciate all the feedback guys and as usual, there are always great words of wisdom on this site. I guess that is why I tend not to post too much unless I have something to really talk about. I much prefer reading the other member's posts.

Whenever I hear someone supporting socialism and welfare, I strongly encourage them to take the next step: get to know the recipients. Once they learn that the typical welfare queen has no thought or effort towards getting off welfare, the bleeding hearts tend to change their tune quickly. And it is a lot of fun to watch left-wing dogma and reality collide!

You shouldn't go out of your way to develop workplace friends, but an honest pal can be a big help. I made many friends, and it worked out fine most of the time. However, since every group is different you never know. For whatever reason, there's places where nobody can be trusted. You don't want no friends there! Broken trust is behind just about any workplace beef you can name, and if you were friends before, it'll be worse. So chose your workplace friends carefully. But that don't mean you shouldn't have any.

Being the oldtimer in a crop of ever changing rookies I ended up knowing a lot of people. The rookies saw I had honest friendships with all kinds of people, and that opened a few doors.

Long as they don't preach, or try to set me up, I don't care how blue pill a guy is. Now and then somebody tried before I went red pill, but none a their choices wanted anything to do with me. Anyway, within limits, workplace friendships did me more good than harm.

O.K, learning how to quieten ones mind, relax and to focus is one of the 1st and most important steps in lots of different kung-fu's but especially (for my money) MGTOW kung-fu. Its a skill. The only things I could find on youtube (the youtube stuff will have you reaching for your gun) are those flaky as fuck new-agey, esoteric bullshit mongers selling crap to bored, overly financed westerners but its basically like taking a dump, you have to just D.I.Y.

Maybe think of a boxer just before the fight, he's not caring about his shopping list or what so-and-so said about whatever, he's focussed upon his own condition, keeping frame, not tensing...balanced and nothing else matters.

Just do it and practise doing it so nags, doubts, internal dialogues and external bullshit gets screened-out. Basically, tell your self to shut-up and focus on your breathing or something but really, for a youth to lose his rag might be testosterone, over excitement or poor self control but a middle-aged bloke losing his rag?.....I'd be considering the possibility of Hypertension, the silent killer and often product of a poor diet.

I was like you for a long time. And it wasn't just with strangers and co-workers. I won't get started about my family (one of these days I'm liable to write my autobiography...won't they be pissed?), but family IS the worst. Over the years I've learned to treat life like a poker game. "Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking." Remember that quote from The Godfather? Well, only you guys know what I'm thinking. The family can't be trusted and neither can anyone else. When you hear something stupid try smiling to yourself and think, "Boy. I'm glad I'm not that fucked up." And then, just let it go. Now, try doing something for yourself that will make you happy and take your mind off the stupidity of the world. I choose my environment these days to minimize the risk of exposure to toxic people. It's working.

Originally Posted by AdTheBad

O.K, learning how to quieten ones mind, relax and to focus is one of the 1st and most important steps in lots of different kung-fu's but especially (for my money) MGTOW kung-fu. Its a skill. The only things I could find on youtube (the youtube stuff will have you reaching for your gun) are those flaky as fuck new-agey, esoteric bullshit mongers selling crap to bored, overly financed westerners but its basically like taking a dump, you have to just D.I.Y.

Maybe think of a boxer just before the fight, he's not caring about his shopping list or what so-and-so said about whatever, he's focussed upon his own condition, keeping frame, not tensing...balanced and nothing else matters.

Just do it and practise doing it so nags, doubts, internal dialogues and external bullshit gets screened-out. Basically, tell your self to shut-up and focus on your breathing or something but really, for a youth to lose his rag might be testosterone, over excitement or poor self control but a middle-aged bloke losing his rag?.....I'd be considering the possibility of Hypertension, the silent killer and often product of a poor diet.

It is just harder for me to care more about what people think. I even find myself talking to myself quite a bit more. My father does it and I have started to do it too. No I don't think there is anyone talking back. No I don't hear voices. It is a way for me to just compartmentalize my thoughts and see how they sound out loud. The problem is that I tend to care less and less what people think and have found myself talking to myself out in public. In places at Walmart, I would find myself getting mad and the dumbest stuff and voicing in kind of loud. Once I have really accepted the fact that most people are shit, I find myself having a great disdain for these sheep. I find myself not worrying what people think and sometimes show my anger a bit more than I used to. There are people who are even being nice or polite and I find myself angry at them sometimes.

Anyways, I hope this makes a bit of sense.

+ Joetech...Yes I guess I just need to keep my cards close to my chest. The killer thing is that I used to be so good at that. I'll have to focus on getting back to what I was once good at.