Good morning brothers.
I am typing this behind enemy lines so to speak. I am doing this while I should be working. Working you say? Why? I have calculated that the government via taxes takes about 35% of my income leaving me with 65% to be spent on what I need or want. I then ask myself, "Why should I give 100% of my effort to only reap 65% of my due reward?" Should I only give 65% percent of my effort to while using the remaining 35% of effort could of spent, on leisurely activities? I mean I have to be here at work anyways. It is not even a choice.
In this world we need money to survive (minus the cabin-in-the-woods types). So in reality, working is not even a choice. I didn't ask for money being the currency for my existence. So in an effort to reclaim some of my independence and also a form of rebellion to the status-quo, I have opted out of work. In the theoretical sense, I'm "working" but I'm really not working.
"Skiving" or "empty labor" as I've heard it called is the art of not working while appearing to do so. Here is a list of some of the rules I've come up with that are essential for the successful skiver:
1. The first (and most important) rule of skiving is that you do not talk about it. Just like "Fight Club", you do not want to discuss it with anyone. That puts you on the radar of daddy-corporate in a negative. There are no exceptions to this rule either. Do not trust anyone because talking about it can come back to bite you later if you have a fellow coworker with an axe to grind.
2. Take up acting. I don't mean in the literal sense but being a good actor is a must to survive in the corporate world.Come off as enthusiastic when you are assigned a task. When your supervisor asks you to do something, you need to seem almost delighted to do this. Unless you are the lucky few who can completely ghost, you will be confronted with the inevitability of doing a task you don't like.
3. Don't do in 5 minutes when could be stretched to 10. If you complete some report or something in record time because you want to be an "office hero", all that will happen is that will become to new standard and it will be automatically expected. Note: this is only true if there is no clear correlation between input vs. output. Disregard this rule if the job you have requires a quota or tracks numbers for efficiency. For jobs like this, see rule 4.
4. Cut corners wherever possible. The name of the game is to quickly get your tasks that are tracked done as efficiently as possible. If you can shave off time by cutting corners that don't compromise the quality of your work, then do so. Do not abuse this as you can be found out if your quality slips too far.
5. Being perceived as a good employee is yields much greater rewards that actually being a good employee. Perceptions breed reality. I have met people who have objectively worked way harder than their more likeable counterparts only to be berated with more work. Those "hard-chargers" are usually miserable and the ironic thing is they get very little respect. Do not be the work horse and get taken for granted.
There are more rules that I have but unfortunately, some work came to my attention. It should take me a couple minutes but I think I can stretch it to 30.
Please feel free to add to this list or share some experiences in this subject. I am interested very much.