Thread: Skiving at Work (Empty Labor)

Originally Posted by Bonobo Protocol

I've then seen those who are great socialites get accolades even though they don't perform all that well.

Many years ago at my employer, I was all work, no schmooze. My company needed a special project done so they picked me and another fellow, a known schmoozer to management, and gave us a pair of specially-equipped computer terminals in a workgroup to use for this project that was not in our own group, and located on a different floor as well. We were told to do a little work on the project, then go back to our regular floor/desks to do our regular jobs, then go back to the project. We could go back and forth between the floors, between the project work and our normal work, as we decided was necessary to keep things moving at both tasks. We were trusted to be autonomous about it.

I was almost always working on the project but my partner was rarely there with me. I found out later that he was not at his regular desk either. He was out goofing off and visiting with his girlfriend on yet another floor. So, when he wasn't at the project, everybody around us in the project area assumed he was back at his normal desk. When he wasn't at his normal desk, everybody there assumed he was working on the project. He was in neither place for most of the time. He played everybody while I did most of the project work itself.

Later, when the project was near over, our director had a meeting with our normal workgroup where at the end of the presentation the director gave a congratulations to Mr. Schmoozer for his fine work on the project. My name was not mentioned. My peers who were in that meeting later said their jaws dropped at this.

Why wasn't I at this meeting? I was on the project floor, working the project, of course. No one told me of this meeting.

I was a sucker in those days. I thought that not tooting my own horn was noble. Perhaps so, but I take public credit nowadays.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Many years ago at my employer, I was all work, no schmooze. My company needed a special project done so they picked me and another fellow, a known schmoozer to management, and gave us a pair of specially-equipped computer terminals in a workgroup to use for this project that was not in our own group, and located on a different floor as well. We were told to do a little work on the project, then go back to our regular floor/desks to do our regular jobs, then go back to the project. We could go back and forth between the floors, between the project work and our normal work, as we decided was necessary to keep things moving at both tasks. We were trusted to be autonomous about it.

I was almost always working on the project but my partner was rarely there with me. I found out later that he was not at his regular desk either. He was out goofing off and visiting with his girlfriend on yet another floor. So, when he wasn't at the project, everybody around us in the project area assumed he was back at his normal desk. When he wasn't at his normal desk, everybody there assumed he was working on the project. He was in neither place for most of the time. He played everybody while I did most of the project work itself.

Later, when the project was near over, our director had a meeting with our normal workgroup where at the end of the presentation the director gave a congratulations to Mr. Schmoozer for his fine work on the project. My name was not mentioned. My peers who were in that meeting later said their jaws dropped at this.

Why wasn't I at this meeting? I was on the project floor, working the project, of course. No one told me of this meeting.

I was a sucker in those days. I thought that not tooting my own horn was noble. Perhaps so, but I take public credit nowadays.

I'll bet my cosmic stars that if the project was a failure your name would have stood, alone...

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

I was almost always working on the project but my partner was rarely there with me. I found out later that he was not at his regular desk either. He was out goofing off and visiting with his girlfriend on yet another floor. So, when he wasn't at the project, everybody around us in the project area assumed he was back at his normal desk. When he wasn't at his normal desk, everybody there assumed he was working on the project. He was in neither place for most of the time. He played everybody while I did most of the project work itself.

In certain jobs where the relation of work done (input) to results (output) is unclear, it is usually best to be a "middle of the road" employee. Being perceived as being valuable and productive is much more important than actually being those things. It also helps if people tend to like you.

There are many people at my job where they are known skivers and when something goes wrong, it's their fault because "they're lazy and not doing their job". Then there are those who come across as "hard-chargers" and they are some of the biggest slouches when it comes to production. BUT, they are perceived as great employees by management so they can get away with a lot.

It has been my experience that the one who is polite and flies under the radar will have a much easier time than those who are obvious lazy employees.

It has been my experience that the one who is polite and flies under the radar will have a much easier time than those who are obvious lazy employees.

You should ALWAYS pretend to be busy. Never let your managers see you doing nothing, always make sure you are either on the phone, even a pretend call, or closely looking at your laptop; you can even pretend to be taking new orders from customers, and then when the manager asks about these orders, just tell them that the customer changed their minds and they are amending them for next week.

If you can even get away with tinkering with the sales figures so you look like the best salesman, then do so. If you job pays for overtime, work at medium speed until 5pm, then start getting busy.

Maximise your downtime, remote working has been a blessing. Work that starts at 9, should start at 11, finishes at 5? move that to 3. and so on. Focus only on the VERY important tasks and if your colleagues ask you for this or that trivial shit (which they always do) just say you are extremely busy and on the phone with the customer.

Manager calls you? Don't reposed immediately. Wait for 5 - 10 min and then call back saying the customer was speaking with you. You were taking new orders.

Is there a project that is impossible to do? Then keep telling your manager that you have contacted so and so and that you are still waiting for feedback. Don't ever show all your cards immediately.

NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO PUSH YOU OFF KILTER, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR ROUTINES SET UP SO THAT YOU HAVE A PERFECT ANSWER TO ANY STUPID TIMEWASTER SCUMBAG.

Originally Posted by Opaque

You should ALWAYS pretend to be busy. Never let your managers see you doing nothing, always make sure you are either on the phone, even a pretend call, or closely looking at your laptop; you can even pretend to be taking new orders from customers, and then when the manager asks about these orders, just tell them that the customer changed their minds and they are amending them for next week.

Agreed. If you always appear "unavailable", you will never get stuck with doing tasks you don't like. There is almost a "crabs in a bucket" scenario happening at work. For instance, if a coworker is working hard but sees that you are just chillin', you will be in the cross-hairs of work that needs to be allocated. This is all because, they are miserable and want you to share that dread.

Originally Posted by Opaque

If you can even get away with tinkering with the sales figures so you look like the best salesman, then do so. If you job pays for overtime, work at medium speed until 5pm, then start getting busy.

Depending on the job, you should not feel guilty about working as little as possible for something as volatile as money. Remember, roughly 25% of your income is stolen from you via income taxation. So why should you give it 100% when you get 75% of the reward? You also must have at least some money to survive unless you want to live in a shack in the woods so you must do something to earn it. What this leaves you with is the amount of effort you exert to earn said money. That's one of the few things you can control.

Originally Posted by Opaque

Maximize your downtime, remote working has been a blessing. Work that starts at 9, should start at 11, finishes at 5? move that to 3. and so on. Focus only on the VERY important tasks and if your colleagues ask you for this or that trivial shit (which they always do) just say you are extremely busy and on the phone with the customer.

Quite true! People are often under the mistaken assumption that hard work is always rewarded. That's often rarely true in the corporate world. Use the "pareto principle" by focusing on those key tasks that actually matter. Never focus on the mundane that will not matter.

My attitudes toward my work etiquette could change at any time. I just need to system to stop taxing me out the ass! The ball has always been in the government's court.

There are activities that are worth 100% effort because you get out of it exactly what you get into it. Strength training comes to mind as far as that goes. Working for something as volatile as money is not one of those things. You should NEVER put forth maximum effort to obtain it.

Originally Posted by Opaque

NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO PUSH YOU OFF KILTER, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR ROUTINES SET UP SO THAT YOU HAVE A PERFECT ANSWER TO ANY STUPID TIMEWASTER SCUMBAG.

Indeed. I would further add that you shouldn't let anything at work ruin your day. You have to remember, for most of us, our jobs are meaningless. In 100 years, that customer complaint or that gossiping coworker will not matter at all. Don't let work happenings dictate your mood for the rest of the day. That is of course easier said than done at times.

People are often under the mistaken assumption that hard work is always rewarded. That's often rarely true in the corporate world.

This is really true. At the company I work at, the insecure female manager is always nosing about other people's business. She definitely won't promote anyone who is smarter and can do a better job than her. I have been working for 5 years at the current company I'm at and a kiss ass guy who follows every word she utters was promoted in 2 years.

Managers promote people they trust not to surpass them - Law #1 in the 48 Laws of Power: Never Outshine the Master.

Originally Posted by Opaque

This is really true. At the company I work at, the insecure female manager is always nosing about other people's business. She definitely won't promote anyone who is smarter and can do a better job than her. I have been working for 5 years at the current company I'm at and a kiss ass guy who follows every word she utters was promoted in 2 years.

Managers promote people they trust not to surpass them - Law #1 in the 48 Laws of Power: Never Outshine the Master.

I'd be a real bastard in the corporate world (oh wait, I already am), but anyway, as far as "out shining the master" in that cutthroat environment, why not sabotage the master's shiny image by covertly framing them in a bad enough light to warrant their dismissal? Like fuck something up that they get the blame for it.
I don't see anything wrong with being a ruthless fucking prick when conditions require it.

Originally Posted by mgtower

Like fuck something up that they get the blame for it.

You forget, no woman is to be held accountable for any mistake, no matter how expensive or harmful.