Thread: Skiving at Work (Empty Labor)

That is well thought out and I know a lot of grad students that do this to work their way through school with low skilled jobs. They know they are going to be paid min wage no matter what, so they find they can actually study on the job while being paid so it is a win/win for them.

Another example is booking appointments with clients with your side gig while on your current job. This saves you time while making you seem on top of your game for your clients and for your business by being paid to be at someone else's business. Another win/win.

I find that most people are surprisingly slow workers. It doesn't pay to work faster than them. Hell, they might even hate you for it and make your workplace hell for you as payback. But I can't recommend doing *nothing* either. Reason being that it's boring as fuck and the time just won't pass that way. Just do your tasks in a slow manner, maybe speed up a bit when the supervisor comes by and that's basically it.

Originally Posted by Aintdealingwithyoshit

I find that most people are surprisingly slow workers. It doesn't pay to work faster than them. Hell, they might even hate you for it and make your workplace hell for you as payback. But I can't recommend doing *nothing* either. Reason being that it's boring as fuck and the time just won't pass that way. Just do your tasks in a slow manner, maybe speed up a bit when the supervisor comes by and that's basically it.

I'd have to agree with you that doing nothing is a big mistake in the art of skiving at work. You will come across as simply lazy and put yourself in the line of fire when there are reorganizations.

Working slow is a great way to camouflage your lack of work. Basically you always want to look like you are doing something.

A great tactic to use is get all of you work done except for the last little bit. Keep that little bit sitting on your desk throughout the whole day and then finish it when the day is about to end. If your boss walks by, then stare intently at the work that you are mostly finished with. This makes you look actively engaged.

If you want to really push it you can save the last task at the end and push for overtime where you receive time and half if you are wage. If you are salary make sure that you leave on the dot as there is no point to staying beyond your 40 hours (30 hours full time in Europe?) if you are salaried.

40 hours in this part of Europe too, Nomad. We don't get to slack off -that- much.
Beyond that I can echo some of the sentiments in previous messages. Not rewarding management with high performance when they offer nothing tangible in return was a lesson I learned the hard way:
Our team was overloaded at the time. So work piled up more and more, crap didn't get done. Not really our fault since work was shoved our way that wasn't under our contract and the guy in charge of that had the spine of a jellyfish. But when the customer threatened to withdraw from the contract it suddenly was all hands on deck. Heavy overtime was authorized to clear the backlog, and we were all asked to "keep up with the workload once the backlog was cleared". Well, we did that. One month later, we were on target again.
Response from management was to drop one worker from our team since we were obviously not working to capacity. Our entire team was insulted by this. The targets for that customer were never met again, and our team manager knew better then to ask for another and continuous extra effort. Ever since then, I refuse to pick up the slack for a structural problem created by management and push that problem right back to its point of origin. I get paid for 8 hours of work a day, and will do no less - and no more.

Night shift in a sawmill, there's one foreman. If they know they can depend on you, they'll overlook a lot. I got away with murder, though it was paid for with a lot of work that I could of avoided. But like everything else, being an outlaw has it's price.


Technician is govspeak for high school education. Now Smokey needs techs, but becoming one is not easy. The Bear is going to make you earn that permanent job, he don't give nothing away. You work hard, keep your mouth shut and pretend you don't see your lazy coworkers taking advantage of you. If you don't give the Bear more than he deserves at this point, you might as well forget about having a career with Smokey.


Being a rookie on the eve of some serious downsizing, the Bear should of kicked me out first. But first a boss, and later our department head sent more qualified people packing. I was lucky, they both saw something in me no one else did. Not even me. So hard work did get me a reward, I got to stay and wear out some more boots while others hit the road. We're talking serious numbers here, the forest has a third of the employees it did thirty years ago. Course I'd a still had a job, but Smokey can send you anyplace from Nome to Key West. I got to stay home, even if home is a dump.

So being a chump can pay, though it usually don't. I'm the exception, looks like.

I just discovered something about my own workplace which is worth adding.

We have a new system in place to monitor absence and timekeeping.
In the case of timekeeping being "late" is defined as clocking in more than 3 minutes after your shift was meant to start. The crazy thing is of course is that the company does not distinguish between HOW late so clocking in 90 minutes after the start time is still counted the same as being 5 minutes late as far as the disciplinary procedure is concerned (all you lose is the pay). You are allowed 4 late days per 13 weeks (I usually average 2 or 3 a year !!!)

Obviously there are ways to exploit this system.

Example : I cycle to work and have a puncture half way.


What I used to do : Get off my bike and push it the rest of the way to work. Clock in half hour late. Have to walk home with bike after work then fix puncture, this adds about an extra hour to my day.


What I do now : Get off my bike and push it back home, fix puncture then cycle to work and clock in 90 minutes late. Rest of the day as normal, transferred the hours inconvenience to myself to an hour less at work. Still recorded as number of times late plus 1.

Originally Posted by stanmsl

Example : I cycle to work and have a puncture half way.
What I used to do : Get off my bike and push it the rest of the way to work. Clock in half hour late. Have to walk home with bike after work then fix puncture, this adds about an extra hour to my day.
What I do now : Get off my bike and push it back home, fix puncture then cycle to work and clock in 90 minutes late. Rest of the day as normal, transferred the hours inconvenience to myself to an hour less at work. Still recorded as number of times late plus 1.

Yes. This is exactly how it is done. You are just trying to get by in the system that exists.

Originally Posted by CultVoid

One year I did the lunchtime check thing and I kindly - because I'm lovely, y'know - offered to take them all to the pub for a couple of lunch beers. Said duty satisfactorily performed, I dropped them back off at the training room, and decided that since I'd had one too many, I'd have a short rest in the toilets. I went down a couple of floors (knowing that floor was empty and I'd be left undisturbed), went in a stall and closed my eyes....


...a short rest later, I emerged, bleary eyed, from the bathroom, went back up the two floors - to serendipitously bump into my cohort of new joiners - I'd 'accidentally' slept the entire afternoon. "hey, Mr CultVoid Sir, we had a great first day, thanks - let's buy you a beer this time!". And right back downstairs back to the pub.

I also did this same thing too! I took a nap on the toilet because I wasn't sleeping well.

The thing is that you have to know where you can navigate in your workplace to "disappear".

Originally Posted by Bonobo Protocol

I also did this same thing too! I took a nap on the toilet because I wasn't sleeping well.

The thing is that you have to know where you can navigate in your workplace to "disappear".

ha ha ha, LOL! It's impossible to prove your napping without totally violating your rights to privacy and getting $ued!

The shitter is the only true corporate "safe space", ha ha ha! I'd set camp in there!

Originally Posted by mgtower

ha ha ha, LOL! It's impossible to prove your napping without totally violating your rights to privacy and getting $ued!

The shitter is the only true corporate "safe space", ha ha ha! I'd set camp in there!

Quite true and there are frequent bathroom visits made while at work.

I work an engineering job at a giant corporation and put in 50% effort at best as the company culture is quite relaxed. The work is interesting enough and I never compromise on quality which makes it easy to look like a good worker. I've busted my ass in previous jobs and it was never worth it. Most people I know are constantly stressed out due to work issues while I just glide along, it's great.

Originally Posted by I'm Gone

I've busted my ass in previous jobs and it was never worth it. Most people I know are constantly stressed out due to work issues while I just glide along, it's great.

Yes that was me in my 20s, chasing production targets thinking that there was some kind of points chart in the managers office and I would be rewarded greatly "one day". Now I know as long as I turn up everyday and be an average worker I'm ok. I'm more likely to lose my job for breaking a minor health and safety rule (they are strict at my place) than be lackluster at my job for the next decade.

It's not just dealing with the management, it's also the co workers. One issue is smokers taking extra breaks outside the fire exit to light up. As a non smoker I hate the fact that these people get at least a weeks worth of extra breaks a year. Officially it's a disciplinary offence, in practice the management have a crackdown one a year and make an example of someone then it reverts back to normal for another 11 months.

It's knowing where to pick your battles, if I report these people to management I give them the incentive to report me back for some of the practices I have mentioned earlier on in this thread. Instead I use it as a bargaining chip, leave me in peace and I'll turn a blind eye to your smoking breaks.

It's knowing where to pick your battles, if I report these people to management I give them the incentive to report me back for some of the practices I have mentioned earlier on in this thread. Instead I use it as a bargaining chip, leave me in peace and I'll turn a blind eye to your smoking breaks.

My issue is that I have been busting my ass for around 5 years at the company I work for. I have always reached my targets and gone beyond. Always, and I have never missed a single day for the past 3 years.

I haven't even been made assistant manager.

There simply is no reasoning with some companies and best to maximise pay and minimise effort. Always make it look like you are super super busy. You get a phone call from the manager - don't respond. Call 5 minutes after. He/She asks "why?" I was on the phone with a client/supplier and they were asking many important questions.

Looking super busy is the ultimate cover because with technology they are watching at all times now whether in the office or even on job sites. But you just have to be smarter about looking like you are doing your part.

Best part of looking busy is that it looks good to clients and customers which is often directed to management in a positive manner. Working hard may also reach management but the impact isn't the same as receiving praise from a client or customer.

I believe this is because management is under the assumption that working hard should be the default state for all workers which doesn't seem noteworthy to them. However, a client or customer taking time off to compliment is a huge impression on management.

Perception always, always trumps reality.

Originally Posted by Opaque

There simply is no reasoning with some companies and best to maximise pay and minimise effort. Always make it look like you are super super busy. You get a phone call from the manager - don't respond. Call 5 minutes after. He/She asks "why?" I was on the phone with a client/supplier and they were asking many important questions.

You should always be looking for ways to "maximize pay and minimize effort" Your income is already being taxed at about a quarter (rough estimate). You didn't ask for this nor did you vote for it. That leaves you with roughly 75% of your income (again this is a conservative estimate). Why should you give 100% effort to receive only 75% of the reward? I have heard arguments that "taxes are a part of life" etc. and while I agree, it has no bearing in this argument. When you enter into an employee/employer "contract", you are expected to do "x" and you receive "y".

Controlling your amount of effort in a job is about the only way I can think of to "recoup" the amount of money stolen by big-daddy government. Your not going to get out of taxes as we all know. You can't control that.

I agree that making it look like you are super busy provides you the necessary cover. You can't look like you are goofing around when the boss comes by so you MUST always be busy. That way when the inevitable "I need you to work on these late TPS reports" come around, you can say that, "I'm swamped with a back log of outdated client notices I need to process."

I do have a bit of a moral dilemma about these "tactics" being used if you work for a mom and pop shop. It depends on your relationship with your employer.

Originally Posted by Azure Nomad

Perception always, always trumps reality.

It is always better to be perceived as a valuable employee than actually being a valuable employee. I've seen those that add "actual value" get treated like poo because they didn't "play nice" with everyone. I've then seen those who are great socialites get accolades even though they don't perform all that well.

Originally Posted by Bonobo Protocol

It is always better to be perceived as a valuable employee than actually being a valuable employee. I've seen those that add "actual value" get treated like poo because they didn't "play nice" with everyone. I've then seen those who are great socialites get accolades even though they don't perform all that well.

Yup that is right.

That is how the game is played.

When at work you don't try to make enemies you just keep it strictly about business and let everyone else fight over their squabbles. Meanwhile you are in clear sailing to be praised by all while avoiding conflict.

The way to win battles without lifting a finger.

Only time I go nuclear with a peer or fellow employee is if I know they are going to go nuclear so I go with the pre emptive strike. But that has happened like only once in my life.

Most times most people will leave you alone if you just coast on your lane. Coasting at work is the ultimate way to make money while having fun IMO.

But this is a concept most people don't understand which is why they turn work into drudgery and in my mind I don't understand why they are running around like maniacs to meet deadlines.

Originally Posted by Azure Nomad

Yup that is right.

That is how the game is played.

When at work you don't try to make enemies you just keep it strictly about business and let everyone else fight over their squabbles. Meanwhile you are in clear sailing to be praised by all while avoiding conflict.

I couldn't agree more. There are those that are so emotionally invested in their jobs that they fight over the most mundane things. They fight over how reports are generated and in a weeks time, it won't matter. You seem to get this when you are working in an environment comprised mostly of females or low testosterone "males".

It can actually be to your advantage to have those argue about the stupid stuff as it allows you to be perceived as "agreeable". You are not the one "ruffling any feathers". Let those that find comfort in controlling everything fight over trivial things.

Originally Posted by Azure Nomad

Only time I go nuclear with a peer or fellow employee is if I know they are going to go nuclear so I go with the pre emptive strike. But that has happened like only once in my life.

Yes I like to pick my battles as well. As long as it doesn't affect my paycheck or my reputation with my closest coworkers, I don't try to get into any arguments if I can. It is best if you can have a nonchalant attitude and be perceived as aloof.

There have been a few times where I've had to get into major arguments but that is mostly if someone is trying to pawn their work off on me. I don't mind helping someone out as a favor but the thing that can bite you in the ass later is if that favor becomes "just part of your job". Where I work at, there are people who thrive on giving their tasks to other people because they get paid either way.

Originally Posted by Azure Nomad

Most times most people will leave you alone if you just coast on your lane. Coasting at work is the ultimate way to make money while having fun IMO.

But this is a concept most people don't understand which is why they turn work into drudgery and in my mind I don't understand why they are running around like maniacs to meet deadlines.

If you are respectful, pleasant to people, and mind your own business, you can avoid 90% of the headaches.

There is a quote by Bruce Lee that I have at my place. It reads: "You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass."

I am not perfect in applying this philosophy into my workplace endeavors but I'm constantly practicing to improve.

Originally Posted by Bonobo Protocol

I couldn't agree more. There are those that are so emotionally invested in their jobs that they fight over the most mundane things.

I haven't worked for 20 years, and can't even remember arguing over anything.