Thread: "Are you OKAY?"

Gentleman,

Finally feel I have something to say- been lurking for some time now.

Gradually being nudged towards full blown misanthropy and the question in the title bar may well be the last straw. "Are you OKAY?"

1) Not being left well enough alone- someone saw me, noticed me and determined that a violation of of my personal sovereignty was justified. You cunt. Trying to hide in plain sight here, do you mind?

2) I have no idea how to respond. What is this "OKAY," how is it defined? Is it fair to demand this of someone when the definition of this term is not readily available or agreed upon? Feels like a trap, a kind of double bind. Hard to prove a negative.

3) Whatever this nebulous "OKAY" means to the NPC interrogator at hand, I am increasingly suspicious that it is something I want nothing to do with. I am decidedly not "OKAY"- as a matter of fact, fuck being anything else.

Does this happen to you? If so, how do you manage the interaction?

Kinda depends on the context now.


If your slumped across your desk looking like you’re at death’s door then it’s a fair enough question.


If you suggest an alternative viewpoint in a conversation and are confronted with this then that’s a different matter.


All I can say is NEVER try to open another’s eyes. They will see what they want to, usually influenced by those around them. It’s not so much that they cannot think for themselves – they can – but they don’t! Or they won’t! Or they can’t be arsed!


Be careful what you say and to whom, they may scream racism or sexism or whateverism.

Or maybe this is a general enquiry!


The assumption being that if you’re not hooked-up with a female you must be “feeling lonely” or “you can’t be happy living like that”.


What Bollox! I’ve been living on my own for 20 odd years now and couldn’t be happier.


There seems to be a perception that if you aren’t living life like I am then there must be something wrong with you.


Small minded people!

Had a girlfriend who used to ask me that question all the time. Are you okay? I noticed it was always during natural lapses in conversation.

Finally I told her that her constant question treats me like I might spontaneously combust.

Women seem to ask that a lot. I assume it's because they are aware of their own precariousness and it's their buddy system, a prophylactic against mental illness.

Or, it's their way of asking what is currently on your mind, once they see you can think without speaking, so novel to them.

Does this happen to you? If so, how do you manage the interaction?

I just say, "You bet!"

Okay?

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Had a girlfriend who used to ask me that question all the time. Are you okay? I noticed it was always during natural lapses in conversation.

Finally I told her that her constant question treats me like I might spontaneously combust.

Women seem to ask that a lot. I assume it's because they are aware of their own precariousness and it's their buddy system, a prophylactic against mental illness.

Or, it's their way of asking what is currently on your mind, once they see you can think without speaking, so novel to them.



I just say, "You bet!"

Yeah it is mostly females, though sadly more and more men are adopting this feminized interaction style.

Originally Posted by Mad Max

Yeah it is mostly females, though sadly more and more men are adopting this feminized interaction style.

It seems to be easier to feminize a man than it is to maculate a woman, reason being that men are more open to reason and more flexible on all fronts, whereas women are closed minded from the start.

Perhaps that's one of man's greatest weaknesses, and why women respect and fear masculine men and despise emasculated men, which leaves the ball in our court, but only without female empowerment. It's by this empowerment they gain the upper hand, leaving the truly masculine man to travel through life isolated from their reach.

Originally Posted by Mad Max

Gentleman,

Finally feel I have something to say- been lurking for some time now.

Gradually being nudged towards full blown misanthropy and the question in the title bar may well be the last straw. "Are you OKAY?"

1) Not being left well enough alone- someone saw me, noticed me and determined that a violation of of my personal sovereignty was justified. You cunt. Trying to hide in plain sight here, do you mind?

2) I have no idea how to respond. What is this "OKAY," how is it defined? Is it fair to demand this of someone when the definition of this term is not readily available or agreed upon? Feels like a trap, a kind of double bind. Hard to prove a negative.

3) Whatever this nebulous "OKAY" means to the NPC interrogator at hand, I am increasingly suspicious that it is something I want nothing to do with. I am decidedly not "OKAY"- as a matter of fact, fuck being anything else.

Does this happen to you? If so, how do you manage the interaction?

As others have said, not knowing the context, it is difficult to ascertain what is being meant by "are you okay"? It could be just a harmless inquiry or someone who can't mind their own business. I would say that you need to use your best judgement. Deep down, you know if this person asking the question is being malicious or not.

For someone ghosting in plain sight, it is important to throw the people off your scent who wish to not let you live in peace. Say whatever you have to to end to conversation and move on. I've posted similar topics in the past on my experiences with ghosting. It can be easier said than done sometimes.

I usually add humor to my reply.

For instance, I'll use Rush's well-worn "I'm having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have!"

Or sometimes, "Are you kidding? I'm having so much fun, I ought to be thrown in jail for it!"

Most people who ask the question have no clue what humor is, so responses like those drive the conversation into that domain, where those people are total strangers and cannot function.

Originally Posted by Bonobo Protocol

As others have said, not knowing the context, it is difficult to ascertain what is being meant by "are you okay"? It could be just a harmless inquiry or someone who can't mind their own business. I would say that you need to use your best judgement. Deep down, you know if this person asking the question is being malicious or not.

For someone ghosting in plain sight, it is important to throw the people off your scent who wish to not let you live in peace. Say whatever you have to to end to conversation and move on. I've posted similar topics in the past on my experiences with ghosting. It can be easier said than done sometimes.

Lets target "are you okay" with its sister "what's wrong".

What's wrong is a sign of "empathy" and an open invitation to sit at the table of "compassion", however, in the hands of a manipulative narcissist, it's the headlights needed for jacking deer!
It's also a clever tool for unlocking your heart to invite its warm glow like a shot,,, make that three shots of Kentucky bourbon whiskey!

It's all about breaking the cycle of emotional dependence on women, it's weakness, it's unmanly, it emasculates us and overwrites our objectives, it turns a man into an emotional slave being fed or starved depending on his willingness to submit and play the sick twisted demented game!

If a woman's gonna open her mouth, it better be for a blowjob, or I'm not listening! It's a hardline rule, I know, but that's what keeps me safe from emotional intrusions and interruptions.

I love women only one way, my way, the only way, it's just that it's impossible to find one that opens her mouth for only one thing.

Originally Posted by Mad Max

Gentleman,

Finally feel I have something to say- been lurking for some time now.

Gradually being nudged towards full blown misanthropy and the question in the title bar may well be the last straw. "Are you OKAY?"

1) Not being left well enough alone- someone saw me, noticed me and determined that a violation of of my personal sovereignty was justified. You cunt. Trying to hide in plain sight here, do you mind?

2) I have no idea how to respond. What is this "OKAY," how is it defined? Is it fair to demand this of someone when the definition of this term is not readily available or agreed upon? Feels like a trap, a kind of double bind. Hard to prove a negative.

3) Whatever this nebulous "OKAY" means to the NPC interrogator at hand, I am increasingly suspicious that it is something I want nothing to do with. I am decidedly not "OKAY"- as a matter of fact, fuck being anything else.

Does this happen to you? If so, how do you manage the interaction?

Que the Meme "Lighten up, Francis."

From my experience when you receive this question it is because you are not acting in accordance to what they think is "normal".

It is a loaded question which I ignore for the most part. But if I have to respond I just say sure and walk away with no change in my tone, body language, etc.

There are a lot of people out there that struggle to be happy and content in their daily lives. They struggle to have passions, hobbies, and goals. They struggle to form an anchor for their self confidence.

The phantoms of the mind do more damage than anyone can imagine. Once you are free of that obstacle most people will not understand and can't relate to you. It is a bittersweet epiphany to experience. However, it is also a catalyst for your mind to expand into thinking beyond petty worries.

I might go even further and say that "Are you okay" is a probing mission, entirely premeditated. And not out of caring, but with malice: with the goal of pulling someone into the person's sphere of control, maybe by obtaining some juicy tidbit of information that can be used as a weapon down the road. This is why combatants are told never to reveal anything past name & serial number. Skilled interrogators can obtain a wealth of info on someone just from a few words or phrases, especially if they speak with other interrogators who've spoken with you and gather enough info to assemble a profile.

It's important to remember that all communication (with some men as well as with most women) has an unstated objective -- one intended to benefit the other person. Whether it benefits you, or even injures you, is irrelevant to the other person. Because, in this modern age of vanity-driven self-interest, It's All About Me, regardless of who I have to manipulate to Get What I Want.

Originally Posted by kru-kut

I might go even further and say that "Are you okay" is a probing mission, entirely premeditated. And not out of caring, but with malice: with the goal of pulling someone into the person's sphere of control, maybe by obtaining some juicy tidbit of information that can be used as a weapon down the road. This is why combatants are told never to reveal anything past name & serial number. Skilled interrogators can obtain a wealth of info on someone just from a few words or phrases, especially if they speak with other interrogators who've spoken with you and gather enough info to assemble a profile.

It's important to remember that all communication (with some men as well as with most women) has an unstated objective -- one intended to benefit the other person. Whether it benefits you, or even injures you, is irrelevant to the other person. Because, in this modern age of vanity-driven self-interest, It's All About Me, regardless of who I have to manipulate to Get What I Want.

Back in the 90's, I had an older gentleman (that got to know me) say, "you (meaning me) could have a mouth full of shit and not open it to say anything", I gave him the dude nod.

That's what this thread encapsulates when it comes to passive aggressive interrogatory situations! (long ago, in a police report, the cop said I was evasive during questioning) Damn right! Try nailing Jell-O to a wall! You'll have better luck! Oh, believe me, I talk! I just don't say anything!

From Kru-Kut

I might go even further and say that "Are you okay" is a probing mission, entirely premeditated. And not out of caring, but with malice: with the goal of pulling someone into the person's sphere of control, maybe by obtaining some juicy tidbit of information that can be used as a weapon down the road.

This. They are always on the lookout for something they can use somewhere down the line.

Originally Posted by mgtower

(long ago, in a police report, the cop said I was evasive during questioning) Damn right! Try nailing Jell-O to a wall! You'll have better luck! Oh, believe me, I talk! I just don't say anything!

I like it!

A supervisor once told me that I was slippery. What a compliment!

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

I like it!

A supervisor once told me that I was slippery. What a compliment!

Slippery is good!

Slimy is bad, there's a big difference!

I'm slippery with a hint of slime, the worst kind of slippery there is!

"Are you OKAY?"

I have a woman who pops up on my Facebook messenger a couple of times a year always with this exact same phrase. She's still "doable" but over 40 with 2 kids and the usual endless "relationship quotes" posts. It seems she has an army of orbiters but can't figure out why I wont be one of them. (I would have been 5 years ago Cringe ) Every time she messages, I pitch a "let's meet this weekend" for which she always comes up with excuses and I instantly end the conversation.

She messaged during the first lockdown last April, I was in the middle of doing my home workouts, she was complaining there was nothing on the TV and radio. I suggested she should try doing the same and ended the conversation.

Never heard from her since..........

Originally Posted by stanmsl

"Are you OKAY?"


I have a woman who pops up on my Facebook messenger a couple of times a year always with this exact same phrase. She's still "doable" but over 40 with 2 kids and the usual endless "relationship quotes" posts. It seems she has an army of orbiters but can't figure out why I wont be one of them. (I would have been 5 years ago Cringe ) Every time she messages, I pitch a "let's meet this weekend" for which she always comes up with excuses and I instantly end the conversation.

She messaged during the first lockdown last April, I was in the middle of doing my home workouts, she was complaining there was nothing on the TV and radio. I suggested she should try doing the same and ended the conversation.

Never heard from her since..........

Next time, cut through the chase and ask her if she want's to fuck, then, either you're getting laid, or you'll never hear from her again.

I also use a sledgehammer to squeeze oranges, I don't put allot of effort into anything that doesn't interest me.

Originally Posted by stanmsl

she was complaining there was nothing on the TV and radio.

Originally Posted by mgtower

Next time, cut through the chase and ask her if she want's to fuck,

Truly.

"You're obviously calling me cuz you're bored. Whaddya need me for? Do ya wanna fuck?"

LOL.

Originally Posted by Azure Nomad

From my experience when you receive this question it is because you are not acting in accordance to what they think is "normal".

It is a loaded question which I ignore for the most part. But if I have to respond I just say sure and walk away with no change in my tone, body language, etc.

There are a lot of people out there that struggle to be happy and content in their daily lives. They struggle to have passions, hobbies, and goals. They struggle to form an anchor for their self confidence.

The phantoms of the mind do more damage than anyone can imagine. Once you are free of that obstacle most people will not understand and can't relate to you. It is a bittersweet epiphany to experience. However, it is also a catalyst for your mind to expand into thinking beyond petty worries.

+1 to this! I have been meditating on this very concept as of late.