Thread: Please share tips on how to friend-zone new girl that my Asian Parent (& Auntie) keep introduce to me

Hi guys, so I'm entering my 30's, I have been single for the rest of my life, never had a relationship, because it's liability of my time, focus, and energy. Had previously a crush in my senior high school, but being crush by competition, and now she is married to different guy from her 6th BF.

I'm more now how to improve my life for better and pursuing my goal, and dream rather than chasing women.

My AP are kind of desperate to make me to settle down, and find a wife or gf,
I find their option is lower than my previous crush first love, and fellow girl friend that I respect and admire.

Previous tactic that I use is just low frequency of communication.

do you guys share any new tips regarding this?

because I've been complain by my AM told me that I am "arrogant" for not wanting to chat or meet or interact with the girl that they introduce to me.

Just to be clear, I'm just regular looking guy.

Tell them that you're not really interested in being chained to someone for now. You have too much of life before you to build by yourself. When the time and/or person comes along for you, you'll "cross that bridge when you come to it". All you have to do is keep putting it off until they finally quit asking/needling you over it.

They will eventually stop bothering you with their narrow-minded world view and leave you alone.

It's your life, don't be guilted by anyone that believes it should be lived by their preferences or standards.

It's your life, don't let go of that fact, otherwise it becomes someone else's proxy life to manage and micromanage its failure. You're in the driver's seat, DRIVE!

How to make a woman lose interest in you.
1. Tell her she is nice.
2. Tell her all your problems, you havent paid your bills, ask for money from her.
3. Feign being overwhelmed by problems, your work and literally cry like a kid in front of her.

Come back and tell us the results! Problem solved.

Originally Posted by The Captain

Tell them that you're not really interested in being chained to someone for now. You have too much of life before you to build by yourself. When the time and/or person comes along for you, you'll "cross that bridge when you come to it". All you have to do is keep putting it off until they finally quit asking/needling you over it.

They will eventually stop bothering you with their narrow-minded world view and leave you alone.

I don't remember if told them completely, but I told them kind of the hint already.
but they keep bothering me.

Maybe i should be more clear

Originally Posted by mgtower

It's your life, don't be guilted by anyone that believes it should be lived by their preferences or standards.

It's your life, don't let go of that fact, otherwise it becomes someone else's proxy life to manage and micromanage its failure. You're in the driver's seat, DRIVE!

thanks, I think the solution is lean F.I.R.E, then move out

Originally Posted by 12inchbamboo

How to make a woman lose interest in you.
1. Tell her she is nice.
2. Tell her all your problems, you havent paid your bills, ask for money from her.
3. Feign being overwhelmed by problems, your work and literally cry like a kid in front of her.

Come back and tell us the results! Problem solved.

I see:
1. I never try it, but I will try this one.
2. I never ask people for money though, I did told girl that there is lot of cost of raising a quality family, and lots of problem. some of the desperate older and fat one keep bothering me, though, but interesting enough the decent and younger one understand me.
3. I never cry though, can't cry anymore.

I will try the #1 one one

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

I don't remember if told them completely, but I told them kind of the hint already.
but they keep bothering me.

Maybe i should be more clear

It's not moving out, it's moving on with your life.

Having your own life is like owning your own dog, we're just taking our pet life out for a stroll, letting it fetch balls and play frisbee! It becomes a happy life that wags its tail every morning full of apprehension for what you have planned for it day to day!

If we're not living our own lives, someone else is!

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

thanks, I think the solution is lean F.I.R.E, then move out

F.I.R.E.?

Also, you can take her out for dinner, then ask her to "go Dutch" on the bill. (Ask her to pay for half.)

It worked for Sandra Oh in "Double Happiness."

When it comes down to it, ask them if they have their suicide planned. When they recoil in horror, you can tell them that you haven't planned yours either, and that it why you aren't engaged.

Originally Posted by The Captain

When it comes down to it, ask them if they have their suicide planned. When they recoil in horror, you can tell them that you haven't planned yours either, and that it why you aren't engaged.

I told a southern dental assistant that came north, that living on the north face of any mountain around here, or anywhere in Minnesota for that matter, induces people to commit suicide from long cold winter darkness, she and others were horrified, not of the cold and depression, but rather my candor towards suicide and death. I don't wear emotional kit gloves, I just run them over!

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

I see:

2. I never ask people for money though, I did told girl that there is lot of cost of raising a quality family, and lots of problem. some of the desperate older and fat one keep bothering me, though, but interesting enough the decent and younger one understand me.

Tell the fat one that you'll take her to the Stockyards for lunch... (She'll get plenty of wholesome grains in bulk)!

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

Hi guys, so I'm entering my 30's, I have been single for the rest of my life, never had a relationship, because it's liability of my time, focus, and energy. Had previously a crush in my senior high school, but being crush by competition, and now she is married to different guy from her 6th BF.

I'm more now how to improve my life for better and pursuing my goal, and dream rather than chasing women.

My AP are kind of desperate to make me to settle down, and find a wife or gf,
I find their option is lower than my previous crush first love, and fellow girl friend that I respect and admire.

Previous tactic that I use is just low frequency of communication.

do you guys share any new tips regarding this?

because I've been complain by my AM told me that I am "arrogant" for not wanting to chat or meet or interact with the girl that they introduce to me.

Just to be clear, I'm just regular looking guy.

Meet the girl your parents selected for you. Tell the girl that you have money problems and a lot of debt. Also tell her that she reminds you a lot of your mother. Tell her that you don't usually date fat women but you will make an exception for her as long as she doesn't want children. Tell her you don't want children because you want to have time for playing video games.

Saying at least one of those things will make her reject you.

These women their picking, they might well dislike you without any help.

I know little of your culture, but it doesn't sound like your aunt and parents are going to give up easy. They probably think they'll wear you down eventually. But if you resist long enough, the word will get out and maybe your parents will run out of friends with eligible daughters.

Just ignore her, be cold. In time she will get it and lose interest.

Chindo, from your intro over at the 'New Member Intro' thread, you mentioned that you are an Indonesian Chinese, right? From what I heard from some of my Asian friends, it seems that Indonesian Chinese are quite wealthy and successful ( at least compared to the native Indonesians), am I correct in assuming this?

This is probably why your auntie is adamant in making sure the girl she has picked gets her hands on you ( and by extension, your wealth & property). Another reason would be her ego & reputation. If she can't get you married to the girl she has picked for you, it means her social standing among the other aunties and her friends will be lowered.

My suggestion: just tell them you plan to retire early in Bali or some remote fishing village and open a small shop there selling coconut juice or something. Give off the impression that you are going to be a slacker and have no plans to inherit your parents' wealth. Then watch how fast your auntie & the girl lose interest.

Of course, I could be completely wrong about your background. But the general idea is to evaluate your family background (including your auntie's) and see how you can exploit it to your own advantage. Eg, poison your mum's image of your auntie by playing them against each other. The plan is to discredit your auntie. Dig up something from your auntie's past that really pissed off your mum and slowly use that.

Sounds cruel but the gender war is a real war.

Your freedom is priceless and worth fighting for. You are not some robot that does whatever your mum & auntie tell you to do.

Are you financially independent from your mother?

If you're financially independent, have your own place, and don't want to burn your bridges with her and your aunty, I would first just try calmly making your decision clear and then ending the conversation if they press you. Say "No, I'm not interested in getting married, now or ever." If they keep pressing you, tell them you aren't interested in discussing the topic any further. If they continue to press, start insulting/screaming at you, or escalate to violence, just end the conversation by hanging up the phone or walking away.

Putting people on ice if they don't respect your boundaries is a fantastic technique. Every time they try to pressure you on marriage you say "I don't want to talk about that" and then leave/hang up, you train them to avoid the topic. If they get real bad you might need to tell them you aren't going to accept their calls for a while (essentially giving them a 'time out').

If you're financially dependent on them you might need to string them along. Since you're a man you can have kids real late in life, just tell them you want to make sure you're settled and financially well off before you get with a woman and risk having an accidental pregnancy.

Just out of curiosity, you don't mention your father. Is he still around? If so, what's his opinion on all this?

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

Hi guys, so I'm entering my 30's, I have been single for the rest of my life, never had a relationship, because it's liability of my time, focus, and energy. Had previously a crush in my senior high school, but being crush by competition, and now she is married to different guy from her 6th BF.

I'm more now how to improve my life for better and pursuing my goal, and dream rather than chasing women.

My AP are kind of desperate to make me to settle down, and find a wife or gf,
I find their option is lower than my previous crush first love, and fellow girl friend that I respect and admire.

Previous tactic that I use is just low frequency of communication.

do you guys share any new tips regarding this?

because I've been complain by my AM told me that I am "arrogant" for not wanting to chat or meet or interact with the girl that they introduce to me.

Just to be clear, I'm just regular looking guy.

Originally Posted by 12inchbamboo

How to make a woman lose interest in you.
1. Tell her she is nice.
2. Tell her all your problems, you havent paid your bills, ask for money from her.
3. Feign being overwhelmed by problems, your work and literally cry like a kid in front of her.

Come back and tell us the results! Problem solved.

4. Mention that a lot of women you've seen haven't been very understanding about your medical condition - micropenis.
5. Wonder aloud if women are capable of orgasm.
6. Act completely clueless about any current trends/shows/movies etc. (she will have nothing to talk to you about)
7. Talk about smart stuff - she will lose interest real quick.

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

do you guys share any new tips regarding this?

Put a girl in the friend-zone is very easy. Just don´t make any flirt with her. Women are too comfortable with men chasing them. If you do not do anything, then she will think that you are gay or too arrogant asshole and you´re welcome to my life

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

I've been complain by my AM told me that I am "arrogant" for not wanting to chat or meet or interact with the girl that they introduce to me

It´s already working

Originally Posted by mgtower

It's your life, don't be guilted by anyone that believes it should be lived by their preferences or standards.

It's your life, don't let go of that fact, otherwise it becomes someone else's proxy life to manage and micromanage its failure. You're in the driver's seat, DRIVE!

Ever body loves fell responsible for someone success but nobody want to admit that they ruin someone´s else life

@ChindoRedpilled Believe me, if your marriage become successful in their minds* they will brag about how they help you. If your marriage fail, even if you obey ever thing they told you, obey ever thing they command you to do, even in that situation it will be your fault in their minds.

I saw this type of shit happens over and over. They command you, they control you but they are not responsible for you, if ever thing fail you are on your on.

Fight for your freedom is not really a choice.

*For a marriage to be "successful" it´s usually only a matter of not get divorced. If you are miserable nobody cares.