Thread: Newly MGTOW

My wife passed away three months ago. Our marriage wasn't doing the best, and I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought of leaving many times. We have a 10 year old son together, and no matter how bad it got, I would never leave. I would endure hell so his family would stay together. I plan on never getting into any relationship with another woman ever again. I'm old enough that I've had my fun with women, and now see how they can wreck your life. In the last couple weeks, there has been a woman that I find attractive flirting with me pretty heavily. It's too soon for me to fool around with another woman and I told her that. She said she understood, and that she wanted to be friends. There is no way I am getting into a relationship with another woman. What the point of this post is, if I get to the point where I think I want sex with this woman or another, as long as I don't get attached or into any relationship, is that breaking MGTOW? I would tell any woman upfront that I have no interest in anything serious, but only sex sometimes. Sorry if this is a dumb question, I've seen MGTOW related videos before, I just didn't know I would get to follow it so soon.

It's your dick, take it anywhere you want.

As for me, I've been away long enough that it doesn't matter, it's all trouble any way you slice it!

No wife

No X

No kids

No problems.

Surrender that for a piece of ass?

No brainer...

Less is more, none is better.

Originally Posted by mgtower

It's your dick, take it anywhere you want.

As for me, I've been away long enough that it doesn't matter, it's all trouble any way you slice it!

No wife

No X

No kids

No problems.

Surrender that for a piece of ass?

No brainer...

Less is more, none is better.

Thanks for the reply. I can't help but think any woman that comes to me has ulterior motives now. I feel like they see me as my house, my cars, and my bank account. They know my wife has passed and any woman that comes on to me only wants those things. And I'm beginning to know it more than think it.

Originally Posted by GDash

My wife passed away three months ago. Our marriage wasn't doing the best, and I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought of leaving many times. We have a 10 year old son together, and no matter how bad it got, I would never leave. I would endure hell so his family would stay together. I plan on never getting into any relationship with another woman ever again. I'm old enough that I've had my fun with women, and now see how they can wreck your life. In the last couple weeks, there has been a woman that I find attractive flirting with me pretty heavily. It's too soon for me to fool around with another woman and I told her that. She said she understood, and that she wanted to be friends. There is no way I am getting into a relationship with another woman. What the point of this post is, if I get to the point where I think I want sex with this woman or another, as long as I don't get attached or into any relationship, is that breaking MGTOW? I would tell any woman upfront that I have no interest in anything serious, but only sex sometimes. Sorry if this is a dumb question, I've seen MGTOW related videos before, I just didn't know I would get to follow it so soon.

Please accept my condolences at the loss of your wife.

You have stated here and in your Intro pretty firmly that you are not going to get into a relationship with a woman again and that sounds like conviction to me. This conviction is MGTOW. MGTOW is not mandatory celibacy. There are Men Going Their Own Way who have (occasional) sex with women but avoid and refuse the emotional entanglement of a relationship.

Some men have actually stated to us that they will not initiate a relationship but then state if she wanted one, then it would be ok. That is not MGTOW. To be open to the possibility of a relationship regardless of who initiates means you are not MGTOW. It means you are merely between relationships. Such men are not allowed to be registered members on this site.

A woman will try for a relationship and you should fortify yourself against her wiles.

Originally Posted by Unboxxed

Please accept my condolences at the loss of your wife.

You have stated here and in your Intro pretty firmly that you are not going to get into a relationship with a woman again and that sounds like conviction to me. This conviction is MGTOW. MGTOW is not mandatory celibacy. There are Men Going Their Own Way who have (occasional) sex with women but avoid and refuse the emotional entanglement of a relationship.

Some men have actually stated to us that they will not initiate a relationship but then state if she wanted one, then it would be ok. That is not MGTOW. To be open to the possibility of a relationship regardless of who initiates means you are not MGTOW. It means you are merely between relationships. Such men are not allowed to be registered members on this site.

A woman will try for a relationship and you should fortify yourself against her wiles.

Thank you for the reply, the condolences, and the clarity. I will NEVER be in another emotional relationship with a woman again period. I could eventually see myself breaking down and having sex with another woman, but there is no way I will get emotionally entangled with one. I kinda guilty saying this, but during the three months that my wife has passed, my wallet has gotten a lot fatter. I'm not being a tight wad either. I've been buying what I want and need, plus anything my son wants or needs. Still, I have so much more money now than I used to have.

Originally Posted by GDash

Thanks for the reply. I can't help but think any woman that comes to me has ulterior motives now. I feel like they see me as my house, my cars, and my bank account. They know my wife has passed and any woman that comes on to me only wants those things. And I'm beginning to know it more than think it.

You sound like you have resolve, I admire that because it's something I have in myself, it's a matter of making a concrete decision that's permanent and irreversible, in so creating unshakable security and reliability. It makes your life bullet proof!

Once you go through the meatgrinder you don't want to become hamburger again!

Originally Posted by mgtower

You sound like you have resolve, I admire that because it's something I have in myself, it's a matter of making a concrete decision that's permanent and irreversible, in so creating unshakable security and reliability. It makes your life bullet proof!

Once you go through the meatgrinder you don't want to become hamburger again!

Thanks. Yeah I've dealt with a woman and see her change after a few years of marriage. After I've seen lots more men have went through the same thing, and even worse things like a divorce, I have no intention of ever becoming emotionally entangled with another woman. I love my peace and ability to do what I want too much.

I am maybe most non celibate MGTOW here. I think you are off to a great start of a FWB situation. She is interested alright. If she stood for the it's too soon thing and kept coming back. You've got one on the line.

I would not worry about your house, car, cash and so forth. You are not planning on giving her those things are you? Matters little if that is her goal. If you have the goal blocked solid. She can never score.

You have only yourself to worry about. Once you sample the goods a few times. Are you going to lose it and return to the plantation? Going to think the sex was so special she must be the one? Start to want to help her with financial problems if she hints at them? If you answer yes to any of this stuff. Stay far far away. If you know you can keep yourself in check. No matter what. I would be all over this. You also have to be good with this could last a few times. To a few years. That you will not cave to her cutting off the pussy if this isn't working out for her. It's the first thing they try. Are you fine with letting her walk. You better be.


I would approach her now. Say you would like to talk as a friend. That you would like female input on something you have been thinking over quite a bit. Act like you are talking about a hypothetical someone else, not her.

As in I would like to get a females perspective on this. I may soon want some female company. To talk with. Have fun with. Have sex with. On occasion. Thing is I don't know if such a woman will cross my path. Main reason is I know I will never marry again. Or that I would ever live with a woman again. That might eliminate many women from wanting to spend time with me. What do you think?

Then shut up and listen. Right then and there you will either kick it off with a new FWB. Or scare away someone and something you are not interested in. Win/Win in my book.
In any case you will have your answer.

Just never lie for pussy. You might be amazed at what telling the truth brings your way.

Best of luck. Have fun.

Originally Posted by O.G.

I am maybe most non celibate MGTOW here. I think you are off to a great start of a FWB situation. She is interested alright. If she stood for the it's too soon thing and kept coming back. You've got one on the line.

I would not worry about your house, car, cash and so forth. You are not planning on giving her those things are you? Matters little if that is her goal. If you have the goal blocked solid. She can never score.

You have only yourself to worry about. Once you sample the goods a few times. Are you going to lose it and return to the plantation? Going to think the sex was so special she must be the one? Start to want to help her with financial problems if she hints at them? If you answer yes to any of this stuff. Stay far far away. If you know you can keep yourself in check. No matter what. I would be all over this. You also have to be good with this could last a few times. To a few years. That you will not cave to her cutting off the pussy if this isn't working out for her. It's the first thing they try. Are you fine with letting her walk. You better be.


I would approach her now. Say you would like to talk as a friend. That you would like female input on something you have been thinking over quite a bit. Act like you are talking about a hypothetical someone else, not her.

As in I would like to get a females perspective on this. I may soon want some female company. To talk with. Have fun with. Have sex with. On occasion. Thing is I don't know if such a woman will cross my path. Main reason is I know I will never marry again. Or that I would ever live with a woman again. That might eliminate many women from wanting to spend time with me. What do you think?

Then shut up and listen. Right then and there you will either kick it off with a new FWB. Or scare away someone and something you are not interested in. Win/Win in my book.
In any case you will have your answer.

Just never lie for pussy. You might be amazed at what telling the truth brings your way.

Best of luck. Have fun.

Ok cool. Me being new to this, I was worried that having a friend with benefits goes against MGTOW. While FWB could be beneficial, I don't know if I even want to get even sexually entangled with another woman. Sex means a lot more to a woman than it does a man usually. So I don't know if I even want to give another woman the idea I want a relationship with her. I am done.

I would like to add my condolences to your loss GDash. It’s never easy losing someone close to you regardless of anything others have to say.

Originally Posted by GDash

as long as I don't get attached or into any relationship, is that breaking MGTOW?

This question, I don’t know… concerns me?

“Breaking MGTOW”?

MGTOW is who you are or are not. It is not about conforming, in fact it is exactly the opposite.

There are 3 rules that are generally accepted as to what it means to be MGTOW, but I won’t quote them because in this case, and this case only, I think it may only serve to cause you more problems.

So this woman fancies you?

There are a thousand things that could be at play in her mind and, forgive me for being so blunt, you’re in no state to judge her motives.

MGTOW – Men Going Their Own Way.

Don’t let ANYONE, not even us tell you what direction you should take. Go Your Own Way.

My only advice is that you are here on this site for a bloody good reason. Your emotions are understandably high at the moment. Try not to make emotional decisions now that could lead to even more turmoil down the road.

Read the testimonies in the intro section. They are chock full of stories that relate to your current situation.

Above all, be patient with yourself. Stay calm as far as you can and the decisions will reveal themselves as no decisions at all.

Hello GDash and welcome to GYOW!

I believe most of the fellas who posted on this thread already summed up nicely the advice that you wanted to hear.

I'd specially highlight Jackoff's post, as it's spot on with what I would tell you.

But, there's one thing that the guys above haven't mentioned, and this subject is what led me to log on and reply to your OP: your son.

I'm also a father to a 10 year old boy, my only child who I love wholeheartedly. You can read more about me in my intro, that I linked in my signature below.

As I write this post, I've been divorced for 20 months and have become a voluntary celibate man because resolutely I focused on my personal projects and also on my son's well being.

Just like you, I also had some women start smiling at me more when they found out I was divorced, and I even went on a dating app for a very brief period of time right after my divorce, but I'm glad I didn't take any of it further because it would have derailed me from my personal projects.

Now, the reason I want to reply to your thread: your son. And please take this advice at heart, even though it might sound harsh or like some "tough love".

Your young boy has just lost his mother only 90 days ago! He will never be able to hug her, kiss her, or even see or hear her again (except in photos or videos on a screen). He has lost the woman who nurtured him, who made him feel loved and special. Your son's "nuclear family" was destroyed by your wife's passing.

Have you stopped for a while to think what might be going on inside your little boy's head? As mature as he may seem, how do you think he feels in his little world now? His mother is buried in box 7 feet under or is just ashes in an urn! She is not coming back ever again!

Now, imagine what you boy will feel when, just 90 days from losing a parent he loves, the other parent (you) drops him off at some relatives/friends/nanny because "daddy is going out with some adult friends/woman friend"! Don't you think he'll feel insecure? Alone? Rejected?

I'm just a stranger on an internet forum, GDash. But, here's my advice from a father to another father: you got to get your FUCKING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!

With the passing of your wife, your nuclear family was destroyed, and instead of focusing on your little boy's well being, you're here wondering if you should fuck some cunt who is batting her eyelashes towards you?!

Stop thinking with your dick and use your other head! Yeah, the big one on your shoulders!

Do you really think this woman is "down to fuck" and nothing else?

Do you really think she isn't going to exploit your feelings of grief over your wife's passing?

Do you really think that she won't want to infiltrate herself into your life and your relationship with your son?

This is just me, but I made it a top priority in my life to care for my young son after the divorce, to be there for him at all times. And it really payed off! He spends a lot more time with me than his mother, and begs to stay at my place every weekend! My bond with him has gotten even stronger these last months!

Your focus right now should be to be the best father you can and to show your son that he is safe and loved, and also that he is the most important person in your life!

You'll have plenty of time to fuck women when your son gets older (teen and beyond) or goes off to college! Don't worry, I'm sure there'll be plenty of lonely 40/50ish cock thirsty cougars, sugar babies or hot escorts for you to have fun with! In the meantime, watch some porn, rub one off, and focus on what's really important in your life!

Anyways, that's just my 2 cents, as a father myself. But, what works for me might not work for you.

As Jackoff wrote: you decide how to go your own way.

Cheers,
GJ

Originally Posted by Granola Junkie

Hello GDash and welcome to GYOW!

I believe most of the fellas who posted on this thread already summed up nicely the advice that you wanted to hear.

I'd specially highlight Jackoff's post, as it's spot on with what I would tell you.

But, there's one thing that the guys above haven't mentioned, and this subject is what led me to log on and reply to your OP: your son.

I'm also a father to a 10 year old boy, my only child who I love wholeheartedly. You can read more about me in my intro, that I linked in my signature below.

As I write this post, I've been divorced for 20 months and have become a voluntary celibate man because resolutely I focused on my personal projects and also on my son's well being.

Just like you, I also had some women start smiling at me more when they found out I was divorced, and I even went on a dating app for a very brief period of time right after my divorce, but I'm glad I didn't take any of it further because it would have derailed me from my personal projects.

Now, the reason I want to reply to your thread: your son. And please take this advice at heart, even though it might sound harsh or like some "tough love".

Your young boy has just lost his mother only 90 days ago! He will never be able to hug her, kiss her, or even see or hear her again (except in photos or videos on a screen). He has lost the woman who nurtured him, who made him feel loved and special. Your son's "nuclear family" was destroyed by your wife's passing.

Have you stopped for a while to think what might be going on inside your little boy's head? As mature as he may seem, how do you think he feels in his little world now? His mother is buried in box 7 feet under or is just ashes in an urn! She is not coming back ever again!

Now, imagine what you boy will feel when, just 90 days from losing a parent he loves, the other parent (you) drops him off at some relatives/friends/nanny because "daddy is going out with some adult friends/woman friend"! Don't you think he'll feel insecure? Alone? Rejected?

I'm just a stranger on an internet forum, GDash. But, here's my advice from a father to another father: you got to get your FUCKING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!

With the passing of your wife, your nuclear family was destroyed, and instead of focusing on your little boy's well being, you're here wondering if you should fuck some cunt who is batting her eyelashes towards you?!

Stop thinking with your dick and use your other head! Yeah, the big one on your shoulders!

Do you really think this woman is "down to fuck" and nothing else?

Do you really think she isn't going to exploit your feelings of grief over your wife's passing?

Do you really think that she won't want to infiltrate herself into your life and your relationship with your son?

This is just me, but I made it a top priority in my life to care for my young son after the divorce, to be there for him at all times. And it really payed off! He spends a lot more time with me than his mother, and begs to stay at my place every weekend! My bond with him has gotten even stronger these last months!

Your focus right now should be to be the best father you can and to show your son that he is safe and loved, and also that he is the most important person in your life!

You'll have plenty of time to fuck women when your son gets older (teen and beyond) or goes off to college! Don't worry, I'm sure there'll be plenty of lonely 40/50ish cock thirsty cougars, sugar babies or hot escorts for you to have fun with! In the meantime, watch some porn, rub one off, and focus on what's really important in your life!

Anyways, that's just my 2 cents, as a father myself. But, what works for me might not work for you.

As Jackoff wrote: you decide how to go your own way.

Cheers,
GJ

Thank you for this post. This woman flirting heavily with me just had me wondering about something that may happen in the future. Right now, my focus is on my son. Other than things like my doctors appointments, and doing yardwork, I spend ALL my time with him. We do anything he wants, and he gets anything he wants. We have a great relationship. My Mom lives about 500 feet from us and I drop him off there when I do have to do things that can't involve him. He also talked to the schools mental health person weekly. She said he was a strong and very strong boy and he was doing the best that can be expected.

So thank you again for your post and helping make sure my priority is where it should be.

Originally Posted by Jackoff

I would like to add my condolences to your loss GDash. It’s never easy losing someone close to you regardless of anything others have to say.



This question, I don’t know… concerns me?

“Breaking MGTOW”?

MGTOW is who you are or are not. It is not about conforming, in fact it is exactly the opposite.

There are 3 rules that are generally accepted as to what it means to be MGTOW, but I won’t quote them because in this case, and this case only, I think it may only serve to cause you more problems.

So this woman fancies you?

There are a thousand things that could be at play in her mind and, forgive me for being so blunt, you’re in no state to judge her motives.

MGTOW – Men Going Their Own Way.

Don’t let ANYONE, not even us tell you what direction you should take. Go Your Own Way.

My only advice is that you are here on this site for a bloody good reason. Your emotions are understandably high at the moment. Try not to make emotional decisions now that could lead to even more turmoil down the road.

Read the testimonies in the intro section. They are chock full of stories that relate to your current situation.

Above all, be patient with yourself. Stay calm as far as you can and the decisions will reveal themselves as no decisions at all.

When I was talking about a relationship, I meant friends with benefits or something similar. Nothing that involved any kind of emotional attachment. I should have stated that better. Thanks for your reply.

Good for you to tell her kindly to get lost, i had a laugh at the

She said she understood, and that she wanted to be friends.

.

I personally don't believe there is such things as legit friendship between men and woman and men, we both know what we want out of this ''friendship''. Back when i still was in contact with wumeng, everyone of them i would talk to, i would want to bone, other than that i have zero in common with them to talk about.

Just remember to focus on your son, we have too many fuckups and pussyboys in soyboy-ciety now. we need to get masculine man back in the race but they will fight a uphill battle and i really believe installing RP and MGTOW knowledge in them early on is key.

Originally Posted by GDash

If I get to the point where I think I want sex with this woman or another, as long as I don't get attached or into any relationship, is that breaking MGTOW? I would tell any woman upfront that I have no interest in anything serious, but only sex sometimes. Sorry if this is a dumb question, I've seen MGTOW related videos before, I just didn't know I would get to follow it so soon.

MGTOW is about avoiding serious, long-term relationships with women, especially marriage and cohabitation (but also other forms of long-term relationship). Beyond that, the field is pretty open. Here are some of the common MGTOW variants:

1. No sexual or romantic relationships with women at all, although you would still have non-sexual relationships with women (e.g., with friends or family) - usually called "monk" mode.

2. Avoid or at least minimize all relationships, including non-sexual ones, with women.

3. Occasional brief sexual encounters with women, either via hookups or pay-to-play. "Occasional" is the operative word here, as having a PUA lifestyle -- jumping from one hookup to the next -- is not MGTOW.

4. Occasional short-term relationships with women. Again, the operative word is "occasional," not frequent, not a pattern. By "short-term," I mean less than a year, typically more like a few months. This group is a minority of MGTOW, but it does happen, and you can still be MGTOW if you do STRs occasionally and don't get in too deep.


Hope that clarifies things a bit. I would add that a certain level of "red pill awareness" is necessary to be MGTOW as well.

Originally Posted by TrackingPanda

Good for you to tell her kindly to get lost, i had a laugh at the .

I personally don't believe there is such things as legit friendship between men and woman and men, we both know what we want out of this ''friendship''. Back when i still was in contact with wumeng, everyone of them i would talk to, i would want to bone, other than that i have zero in common with them to talk about.

Just remember to focus on your son, we have too many fuckups and pussyboys in soyboy-ciety now. we need to get masculine man back in the race but they will fight a uphill battle and i really believe installing RP and MGTOW knowledge in them early on is key.

You are right that any good looking woman I talk to, I think about bedding them. It's just our nature and there is nothing wrong with that. When a woman and man are friends, the man will fuck his female friend if given the chance. While the woman would say no he is my friend and I can't do that.

Thanks for the advice. My son is my main priority. In my free time, we do whatever he wants if there is something he has in mind. If he doesn't, we are catching bugs, digging holes, getting in water fights with the water hose, or atv riding. If there is something I need to do that he can participate in, and wants to, he is with me doing that. Such as working on the cars, riding mower, or the atvs.

Originally Posted by GDash

You are right that any good looking woman I talk to, I think about bedding them. It's just our nature and there is nothing wrong with that. When a woman and man are friends, the man will fuck his female friend if given the chance. While the woman would say no he is my friend and I can't do that.

Thanks for the advice. My son is my main priority. In my free time, we do whatever he wants if there is something he has in mind. If he doesn't, we are catching bugs, digging holes, getting in water fights with the water hose, or atv riding. If there is something I need to do that he can participate in, and wants to, he is with me doing that. Such as working on the cars, riding mower, or the atvs.

Surly you mean she'll say; no, he's my orbiter, one of may satellites in my glorious self serving solar system. All love and attention must be devoted to my existence as the true and eternal center of the universe!

Originally Posted by mgtower

Surly you mean she'll say; no, he's my orbiter, one of may satellites in my glorious self serving solar system. All love and attention must be devoted to my existence as the true and eternal center of the universe!

Amen!

Originally Posted by Eddie Haskell

4. Occasional short-term relationships with women. Again, the operative word is "occasional," not frequent, not a pattern. By "short-term," I mean less than a year, typically more like a few months. This group is a minority of MGTOW, but it does happen, and you can still be MGTOW if you do STRs occasionally and don't get in too deep.

Erm, I dunno.

Can one be in a wanted sexual relationship, even short term, and still be MGTOW?

I'm not saying that you're wrong, I'm just curious as to your reasoning.

As someone who has been in full monk mode with regards sexual relationsips for over 20 years I find FWB and PUA a bit of a stretch when it comes to MGTOW. A stretch but not a deal breaker.

Having a sexual relationship that lasts for months seems like a deal breaker to me.

Maybe you could enlighten me?

Originally Posted by mgtower

Surly you mean she'll say; no, he's my orbiter, one of may satellites in my glorious self serving solar system. All love and attention must be devoted to my existence as the true and eternal center of the universe!

You nailed that. She will keep a roster of men in the friend zone to give her validation. She will also use them for free meals and dates to keep them on the hook.