Thread: I don't get what with my married friend & in relationship friend keep suggesting me to get into a relationship

I mean, I don't find it appealing, it cost a lot,
and it is just a distraction that will sabotage my goal.

Few types of friends that asking and suggesting me:
1. Middle - High class friend who got married and settle already, but failed in achieving his goal & hate his family business job

2. Middle class friend who get married because they had no goal to reach out for and found their partner.

3. Middle-low class who playing around but don't have purposeful relationship, but tell me he focus on building his career now after knowing it require $.

4. Low-low class who play around but low social mobility, and do not improve his life.

5. Low-low class who have no clue how the world works, and no goal in life but thinking of relationship and getting married, completely ignore the nature of women and inflation.

I still do not get it.

I am not sure if it is joking or not, my middle-low class friend and middle class friend questioning me if i am gay. I think it's pretty common thing in my country / culture based on that assumption.

My middle-low class friend, joke that I am gay because i don't settle for less (girl that I just friend with, but not interested in)

this baffle me.

I used to get this a lot when I was younger, not so much anymore. These days the question is more like “How come you never settled down?” more curious than trying to encourage.

I think maybe the persuasion bit has to do with self-affirmation. They made their decision so everyone else should make the same one, if they don’t it’s like a slap in the face to the choice they made, especially if they sense that you are happy as you are.

So, they set about trying to convince you that you can’t possibly be happy.

It’s really bloody annoying. Thank goodness I don’t have to deal with it very often anymore.

It's the follower mentality.. Because everybody else is you should to...How dare you go your own way! To that I say never follow the followers!

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

I mean, I don't find it appealing, it cost a lot,
and it is just a distraction that will sabotage my goal.

Few types of friends that asking and suggesting me:
1. Middle - High class friend who got married and settle already, but failed in achieving his goal & hate his family business job

2. Middle class friend who get married because they had no goal to reach out for and found their partner.

3. Middle-low class who playing around but don't have purposeful relationship, but tell me he focus on building his career now after knowing it require $.

4. Low-low class who play around but low social mobility, and do not improve his life.

5. Low-low class who have no clue how the world works, and no goal in life but thinking of relationship and getting married, completely ignore the nature of women and inflation.

I still do not get it.

I am not sure if it is joking or not, my middle-low class friend and middle class friend questioning me if i am gay. I think it's pretty common thing in my country / culture based on that assumption.

My middle-low class friend, joke that I am gay because i don't settle for less (girl that I just friend with, but not interested in)

this baffle me.

Put aside RP and BP stuff for a moment.

There's a type of person who doesn't exactly seek disagreement, conflict and confrontation out. But at the same time, he won't lift a finger to avoid them either. He does what he believes to be right, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead. And if it means violating social norms, pucker up, because some norms are about to get violated.

There's also a type of person who would never DREAM of violating social norms. If you're expected to get married, then by God this type of person will try like hell to get married.

Your friends appear to fall into that second category. They might have to learn from bitter, painful experience. But either way, marriage is still basically normative in today's world. So, they're pro-marriage.

They rightly recognize you as an outlier. They're urging you to conform, to come back onto the plantation.

Your only option is to do what you believe to be right. They won't understand, they won't agree and they might not want to be around you anymore. For every action, there's a reaction. There's a price to pay for everything. And the price you might have to pay for avoiding marriage is losing a friend.

Pay it.

I would ditch all your friends in a heartbeat.

The ones that ask you if you're gay are the easiest to deal with. Just tell them the BS a lot of women bring to the game today is just not worth it. They can try to sell it to me all they want, I'm not buying.

They will most of the times come back with that standard line ; '' there are some good ones, its a small percentage ! '' just ask them the percentage they believe is not making your life a misery, and flip that script into a Russian roulette game '' would you want to play Russian roulette, only a small % chance the gun might talk and ruin your life, yeah didn't think so.''

Originally Posted by ChindoRedpilled

3. Middle-low class who playing around but don't have purposeful relationship, but tell me he focus on building his career now after knowing it require $.

Out of all the scenario's you provided, this one comes the closest to 'getting it' imo. however, hope he doesn't blow his career and $ on some proper garden tool.

You reminded me of something my own divorce lawyer said to me (and this was a man who had been practicing law for close to 50 years at that point; in fact, he retired a couple of years later). When I met with him for the initial consultation and he was reviewing my case, he asked, "is this your first marriage?" My reply was, "First and LAST." He said, "there are still some good ones out there." Maybe--but he, of all people, should understand the lousy risk vs. reward proposition that is marriage.

Originally Posted by TrackingPanda

I would ditch all your friends in a heartbeat.

The ones that ask you if you're gay are the easiest to deal with. Just tell them the BS a lot of women bring to the game today is just not worth it. They can try to sell it to me all they want, I'm not buying.

They will most of the times come back with that standard line ; '' there are some good ones, its a small percentage ! '' just ask them the percentage they believe is not making your life a misery, and flip that script into a Russian roulette game '' would you want to play Russian roulette, only a small % chance the gun might talk and ruin your life, yeah didn't think so.''




Out of all the scenario's you provided, this one comes the closest to 'getting it' imo. however, hope he doesn't blow his career and $ on some proper garden tool.

Originally Posted by WPL

You reminded me of something my own divorce lawyer said to me (and this was a man who had been practicing law for close to 50 years at that point; in fact, he retired a couple of years later). When I met with him for the initial consultation and he was reviewing my case, he asked, "is this your first marriage?" My reply was, "First and LAST." He said, "there are still some good ones out there." Maybe--but he, of all people, should understand the lousy risk vs. reward proposition that is marriage.

He's right! There are some good ones out there! You first need to fine them, convince them you're worthy, then sometime down the road they sour and become a bad one, leaving us to a vicious cycle of rinse and repeat with the dial selector set on hope.

Fuck that carrot!

I get that crap too. Tell them to fuck off. If they keep it up then it's good bye to them.

Originally Posted by WPL

My reply was, "First and LAST." He said, "there are still some good ones out there." Maybe--but he, of all people, should understand the lousy risk vs. reward proposition that is marriage.

Consider that this divorce lawyer didn't like your answer and was thinking of protecting his income stream.

Misery loves company that's all it is. It's like someone who wants you to eat fatty fast food with them. They don't want to be the only one who is doing something bad for them.

It is hard to find your purpose and make it your life goal. Some people can never do it. That is why they are relieved when they find a woman that will marry them/ give them kids and in turn give purpose to their lives.

If you put in enough work and dedication you will get to a point where the modern relationship looks to you like a terrible deal. None of them did the work so they are unable to see your point of view.

They say these things because their pride in their way of life has blinded them and they can't see that there may be another way. And if you question them or explain your world view they will get angry and start bashing your character(calling you gay). People like these are willfully ignorant and they will never learn because they are not willing to listen. They are massively insecure about their choices in life and every time a thougt comes up "maybe I should not have gotten married" they start feeling unconfortable and immdietly say to themselves "how could you even question that? never think such thougts again" thus repressing any kind of opposite world view like it's an evil thing.

The thing prideful people fear the most is being wrong and to prove themselves right they seek validation in their friends. So you getting married would give them comfort in their decision to get married.

I never understood those "anything for pussy" guys that comment on someone else's life before but now I do. They need validation. They need someone to complete them. The last "anything for pussy" guy got the smart ass me. He was going on about how I need women, etc. I looked at him and said "Why do you care what I do with my dick? It ain't your dick and it ain't banging any women you care about so whats the problem?". He thought he was going to outwit me. BIG mistake. I turned it around and said "Since you want to know what I do with my dick then you must want it. Just ask me out already". He called me a queer and I said "You are the one wondering about what I do with my dick..*wink wink*". He hasn't bothered me since. I mean seriously if these guys are such chick magnets then why would they care ? You'd think they'd be happy there is no competition.