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  1. #1
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Being social beings, we often naturally tend to build rapport with others by finding common ground, by agreeing on areas in common. We don't want to create tension or negative rapport. In service of this, we sometimes agree when we don't want to agree. We nod when we don't share that view. We smile when we're not amused. We chuckle along when something's not funny.

    Stop doing this and watch your satisfaction go up.

    When you agree with someone you don't agree with or laugh at one of their jokes you don't find funny, you encourage from them what you don't want. It makes for an uncomfortable ongoing interaction. It feels unusual and somewhat cruel to let someone's joke hang in the air, for example. But don't laugh. Doing so corrupts the interaction.

    Now some people go too far with this I believe. They end up turning into a power struggle and that's not what I'm talking about. When you're honest with someone in how you truly feel about what they're saying (not vomiting your every disagreement or regularly arguing with people), they appreciate it. You can be diplomatic but true to yourself. As is customary, someone will take what I'm saying and give an extreme version of it like - "I let people know EXACTLY what I think and let the chips fall". The extreme path is almost always the wrong way to go in every situation. What I'm suggesting is still have relationship goals like building rapport, comfort, trust. Most people don't want to feel on edge with someone they're doing a deal with or socializing with. At the same time, when you're inauthentic, both parties lose.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



    Stuff I do: Box, Surf, Tennis (3.5/4.0), Downhill skiing. I lift 4x a week and have for 10 years.
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    Random facts: I admire Steve Jobs. Favorite travel spots (Russia, Central America).

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nuggets's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Man I'm absolutely terrible at this. It depends on the situation, but usually I expect that my pointed disagreement will result in a long back and forth argument, and I think "meh just save time and keep your stress down by avoiding it", but like you're saying it comes at the cost of integrity.

    I find it a lot easier to calmly disagree with someone's blue pill idea than let a bad joke die. I guess because I feel so fired up about it.

  3. #3
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Another really good post from you in yet another good thread of yours, Jagr.

    At work, I suppose one has to wear more of a mask. Same with neighbors. Unless they're echoing my politically incorrect thoughts and/or thought crimes, I am not gonna bring it up unless they do. And even then, I'd err on the side of caution giving them the red pill in blue pill wording if they were, say, being boarding between blue pill and purple pill in those instances. And I am not just talking about women. I am talking about other demographics and/or politics.

    But, yeah, it is liberating to loosen the leash on my true self. I used to over do it a little too much and learned it was foolish to share a little too much personal stuff with say neighbors or even co-workers occasionally. So I reigned myself back in a little too much perhaps at times.

    Eventually I found a happy medium. Being at the fringe of society as far as going ones "own way" in various thoughts or inner social paradigms and finding like minded free spirits who aren't too far gone in places like these is a word of mouth thing. Many of us did NOT find this forum because MTV or CNN told us it was brave or cool or anything like that. It's just that whether it be underground music, books off of the beaten path, or movies/documentaries, etc--non conformists with sanity and brains tend to flourish in spaces like those.
    Last edited by Ace Francis; September 17, 2015 at 10:41 PM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Balancing truth with tact is tough and is more of a nuance than simply black and white. I think that is easier as you gain more wisdom as man in realizing that you do not have to be confrontational about someone having different view of the world. But truth is paramount in trying to build a working relationship with your peers and friends, because it shows that you have a vested interest in doing the right thing whether it is for work, project, plan, etc.

    I tend to avoid being blunt and honest when I do not have a vested interest in doing so, because I rather focus on my energy on other endeavors. I think the work environment is a bit more different because it is stratified by a chain of command that is top to bottom. If I am at the bottom I am going to do my job and grind to accomplish the goals set before me. If I am closer to the top of the chain of command I have a vested interest in being more vocal about my views and letting the chips fall as they may.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Nomad View Post
    I think the work environment is a bit more different because it is stratified by a chain of command that is top to bottom. If I am at the bottom I am going to do my job and grind to accomplish the goals set before me. If I am closer to the top of the chain of command I have a vested interest in being more vocal about my views and letting the chips fall as they may.
    This is very true.

    However, it is EXTREMELY important to remember that leadership and management are two different things.

    Leadership is providing a vision of how something could be different than it is today.

    Management is what most people in management do instead - budgets, hiring, staff planning, etc.

    Many managers are not leaders.

    Many leaders are not managers.
    Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.

    "Love is for poets." -- Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod

  6. #6
    Senior Member Nasir Jones's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    I have lost so many female friends and even male mangina friends recently because i argued against the 1/5 rape lie in colleges.

    It's exhausting.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Nuggets's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Quote Originally Posted by Nasir Jones View Post
    I have lost so many female friends and even male mangina friends recently because i argued against the 1/5 rape lie in colleges.

    It's exhausting.
    That takes some major balls man. I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole out of fear that people would gang up on me to make me into a pariah or ruin my reputation. I have no social circle right now, but still. I had to deal with some feminist nonsense in class today, and I chose not to give it fuel rather than attack it directly. I made a sensible point without looking like I'm "anti-feminist", but that's as far as I went.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nasir Jones's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    Quote Originally Posted by Nuggets View Post
    That takes some major balls man. I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole out of fear that people would gang up on me to make me into a pariah or ruin my reputation. I have no social circle right now, but still. I had to deal with some feminist nonsense in class today, and I chose not to give it fuel rather than attack it directly. I made a sensible point without looking like I'm "anti-feminist", but that's as far as I went.
    Well, I made that point to my fellow college students. and they are not really feminists or radical. they did seem pretty offended but that's it.

    But you have a good point, sjw scum might get me expelled from the university if i say this in front of the wrong person.
    But then again i really don't give a shit and i am not going to sensor my self.

  9. #9
    Senior Member John Deer's Avatar
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    Re: Don't Say or Do Anything that feels artificial

    It's easier to convince co-workers that 9/11 was an inside job than talk about the pay gap myth.


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