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    The Female Psychosis part 2: Narcissism

    The Female Psychosis part 2: Narcissism

    Written by Kyojiro Kagenuma
    (Reviewed by Gabriel Knight)





    There is a difference between Narcissism and Egocentrism. Egocentrism is a cognitive error while Narcissism is an emotional one. It is crucial that we recognize this distinction because both of them are similar but at the same time Narcissism is more complex because it is the natural progression of Egocentrism. We have learned from part one of this series that Egocentrism can manifests in adolescence in 3 ways; Imaginary Audience, Personal Fable and Apparent Hypocrisy.

    When a teenager feels that everyone is constantly observing and judging her (Imaginary Audience), and then believes that she is special because she thinks everyone is interested in her (Personal Fable) then she believes that she is indeed special and should be given preferential treatment (Apparent Hypocrisy).

    Using this example, we can see how adolescent egocentrism would evolve into Narcissism which can then be termed as self-aggrandizement.

    I Want It All (And I Want It Now)
    The core of the Narcissistic drive is the emotion of shame.

    Unlike guilt, shame is the most unbearable emotion to narcissists because it is pervasive personal flaw and not a misdeed. It is so unbearable to them that they create means to not experience it at all and in the process they are hypersensitive to shame; if they ever experience even the slightest humiliation they will go into a disproportional frenzied reaction.

    Narcissism develops from being unable to confront and cope with shame constructively (Nathanson 1987). To the Narcissist, it is never their fault because admitting fault means being ashamed and they cannot handle it.

    To avoid feeling defective and insignificant, the narcissist develops seven traits that are common among them which are Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Entitlement, Envy, Arrogance, Bad Boundaries and Exploitation (Hotchkiss 2003: 3-27).

    Shamelessness is a typical trait and manifests as being unconscientious, amoral, in self-denial, constant blaming and furious outbursts. They appear cold but they have no self-control and erupt by the smallest of affronts. Below is an example in Malaysia where two girls went berserk just because they could not get the beer they wanted.


    FunnyMalaysia.net (2013)

    Magical Thinking is a way for the narcissist to distort reality and create the fantasy of grandiosity and omnipotence either within themselves or within others they control. Margot Medhurt founder of Yours Sincerely with 30 years’ experience in the dating industry noted the rise of women with a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them (Taylor 2009). She stated that these women were often very plain but see themselves as fabulous and exceptional people. She commented that “these women, however, are unable to get their heads around the fact that the rest of the world might not share their distorted, inflated view they have of themselves.”

    Magical Thinking also manifests whereby the narcissists transfer the shameful feelings of themselves to others in what is termed as ‘projection’ or shame-dumping. Indeed, slut-shaming which is a primarily a girl-on-girl behavior is the projection of one’s own shameful feelings of inadequacies.

    Because they view themselves as special, Narcissists also have an unreasonable sense of Entitlement, believing they are always deserving of preferential treatment and automatic compliance. Noncompliance and defiance is seen as a threat on the narcissists’ perceived authority and is met with anger at the person who is viewed as being difficult and awkward. Medhurt elaborated about her clients, “they invariably reject every guy’s profile but if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay,” and then went on further to say, “they often become indignant and angry towards me, demanding to know why a guy dared to turn them down.”

    Below is a good commentary on the delusion of self-entitlement.


    The Critical G (hey, it’s a good video.)

    For those who did not notice, I clue you in to the 3 narcissistic traits of Shamelessness, Magical Thinking and Entitlement as the progression of Imaginary Audience (Magical Thinking), Personal Fable (Entitlement) and Apparent Hypocrisy (Shamelessness).

    Imaginary Audience --> Magical Thinking
    (Everyone is looking at me) --> (Of course they’d look at me!)

    Personal Fable --> Entitlement
    (I’m special) --> (I’m Worth It!)

    Apparent Hypocrisy --> Shamelessness

    (I’m a winner so I don’t need to try) --> (I’m a winner so I do whatever I want)

    We can see the transference from mental to emotional, how egocentrism evolves into narcissism. It is worth point out that the person does not lose her egocentrism even though it has mutated; she still retains her it because it is a cognitive feature whilst narcissism is an emotional feature. Hence a person can be both egocentric and narcissistic at the same time and they usually are.

    Moving on, the next narcissistic trait is Envy which I could write an entire article altogether, but I won’t. Envy is an emotion transformation experienced when the self-worth is compared against another and arriving at a conclusion motivated by the effects of shame (Lamia 2013).

    To put it another way, you’re not ‘all that’ compare to that person and it makes you feel insecure and worthless. Unlike jealousy, envy is directed towards others; either wanting their attributes, success and possessions, or wanting the other person to lose it all – ‘if I don’t have it, you can’t either’. This explains why women always claim the victim of supposed male privileges because they want the wealth and influence that powerful figures have.

    Next, Arrogance is the belief that the narcissist is always better than others or she is worthless. If she is feeling deflated, she will vitiate, denigrate and discredit others to inflate herself again. This is the reason narcissists are domineering, judgmental and despotic, which is to secure their status that will guard them from their dysfunctions and shame.

    Arrogant narcissist will only compete when the outcome is favorable, they fight in fields where they can shine without risk or effort and in areas where they are less skilled they resort to petty one-upmanship to sustain a sense of superiority. This could explain why women shy away from competition especially in the workplace and resort to gender discrimination when they get passed over for promotion.

    Narcissists are also bad at with Boundaries, in the sense that they do not recognize personal space and often intrude upon them. Anita Sarkeesian’s war against the male spaces of Gaming Industry is a good example of this. To the narcissist, you exist for them or you don’t at all. Now Shamelessness, Entitlement and Magical Thinking are traits that the narcissist feels about herself. Arrogance, Envy and Boundaries are traits that the narcissist feel and project onto others. Here is how it looks;

    Imaginary Audience -- Everyone is looking at me
    |
    Magical Thinking -- Of course they’re looking at me!
    |
    Envy -- They shouldn’t be looking at her! She’s such a slut!

    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Personal Fable -- I’m special
    |
    Entitlement -- I’m Worth It!
    |
    Arrogance -- How dare you reject me!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Apparent Hypocrisy -- I’m a winner so I don’t have to try
    |
    ShamelessnessI’m a winner so I do whatever I want
    |
    Bad Boundaries -- I can do whatever, to whomever I want


    So in essence, Narcissists believes that everything is ‘Mine.’

    Here is a video of a narcissistic girlfriend from Malaysia. Please ignore the emasculated boyfriend; he is after all a Blue pill beta male. Note that the girl exhibits Arrogance by speaking down to the boyfriend as if she’s superior, her envy of others with money by bringing-up her boyfriend’s financial inadequacies as well as her Bad Boundaries by having this argument in public without shame.


    Jazz Wei (2014)

    The culmination of all of this intricate details is the last and most dangerous of all Narcissistic traits; Exploitation which is the manipulation and utilization of others without concern for their interests or wellbeing. This is it folks, the coup de grace of Narcissism;

    Imaginary Audience -- Everyone is looking at me
    |
    Magical Thinking -- Of course they’re looking at me!
    |
    Envy -- They shouldn’t be looking at her! She’s such a slut!
    |
    Exploit -- Slut-Shaming and “I’ll fuck her boyfriend!”

    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Personal Fable -- I’m special
    |
    Entitlement -- I’m Worth It!
    |
    Arrogance -- How dare you reject me!
    |
    Exploit -- I’ll fuck random men then cry rape in the morning.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Apparent Hypocrisy -- I’m a winner so I don’t have to try
    |
    ShamelessnessI’m a winner so I do whatever I want
    |
    Bad Boundaries -- I can do whatever, to whomever I want
    |
    Exploit I’ll marry you, have your kids then divorce you for alimony


    Booyah.

    And we know women frequently do this because we always hear stories like how “I slept with my friend’s husband” (Hensley 2014). In this day and age of consent, no woman can blame the man for seducing her unless she wanted him to. It is simply women on a power-trip to prove that she can steal another woman’s lover.

    We can also observe the number of false-rape accusations; Rumney puts the number of false-rape accusations at 10-50% (Frost 2013) while Kanin estimated it at 40% (1994: 81). And of course the most damning statistics of all and the nail in coffin as it were, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2013) found that divorce rate in the United States is 50% in 2011 and we know that women initiated divorce 68.9% for all cases (Saad 2013). The common denominator in all three instances above is women, not men.

    You’re So Vain
    But how do we know that women have always been this Narcissistic? Consider the history of the Women’s Suffragette Movement of 1906. In England, voting rights were historically linked to land ownership established by King Henry VI in 1432; you could only vote if you owned enough property.

    In the late 19th century to early 20th century, women were only concern about the women’s rights to vote, citing that it is discrimination against women. But before the voting reform 1918, only 4 out of 10 men could vote and after the Equal Franchise Act of 1928 equal rights to vote was established. Voting rights were never about gender discrimination; it was about class discrimination.

    The suffragettes had made it all about women at a time when even men could not vote (manwomanmyth, 2010). These shameless, entitled and self-deluded women could only see their own wants, envied only those that had it and exploited men by claiming male privileges to get it.

    And this was also during the time of the First World War where men who could not vote were sent to die by the hundreds of thousands. If suffragettes were really concerned with equal rights, why did they not fight for the rights to vote for these men? Instead feminists such as Emmeline Pankhurst and her daughter Christabel shamed men into going to war by giving them ‘white feathers’ (Donald, 1998). Feminists did not want equal voting rights for all men and women; feminists wanted voting rights for only women and for the men to just die.

    Feminism is Narcissism.

    As Karen Straughan (2013) would say, “the idea of male privilege is so fucking bogus. Privileges are entitlements; what men have had through history wasn’t entitlements because it was a necessary element of performing their obligations. A tool handed to them because it was needed by men in order to fulfill their legally, economically and socially forced obligation to women and children; Not Because Penis!

    If men were going to die for their country, then they should have at least the right to vote in their country because along with duty comes the rights to facilitate that duty. The British Women’s Suffragettes do not have obligations or duties to anyone; all they have done for England is being baby factories in the comfort of their husbands who provided and died for them. To think that women were oppressed only highlights their apparent grandiose narcissistic fantasy.

    Love Me Tender
    Right about now, the women will be screaming “but men are narcissist too.” Yes, obviously any gender can be narcissistic and there are degrees to how narcissistic a person can be. What I’m pointing out is the prevalence of female narcissism which is even more endemic due to one reason; Narcissistic Supply which is the narcissistic need for attention whether it be celebrity or notoriety (Vaknin n.d.).

    It explains why women are cam whores, loves to gossip and wanting to reveal and publicize their promiscuity. We can see numerous examples of this on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube. It is also the reason women have friend-zones with friends who functions as emotional tampons. These people serve as mere appliances that exist for the gratification of the narcissists (Kreger 2011). In fact, women have a vast abundance of Narcissistic Supply not only from men, but also their sisterhood where they supply each other that craving for attention.

    Men do not have a large pool of Narcissistic Supply and we need to work to get attention. Men compete for recognition and we often shoot down other men whether we realize it or not. And when we do come across narcissistic men; whether it is our employer, father, brother, politician, religious figures, celebrities or whatnot; we often criticize them, fight them and defy those in positions of power. Men do not simply give other men flagrant attention. We reward other men when they are deserving of it; that is the nature of competition and women do not understand this because they constantly get the Pussy Pass on their dysfunctions such as their inherent narcissism.

    Hence, we can say with good conscience that there are not many men who can be narcissists but there are sure a lot of women who are.

    Okay, now I have to address the issue of self-love and healthy narcissism. There are psychiatrists and psychologists who believe that moderate narcissism is healthy (Whitbourne 2012). They state that narcissism could be positive and that people with a healthy narcissism lead a healthier lifestyle.

    This is the kind of quote-mining that you find in women’s magazine articles that perpetuates a woman’s unreasonable sense of entitlement. Why? Because women would only read the headline and say to themselves “Oh, it’s okay to be narcissistic!” Completely taking things out of context and seeing only what they want to see. What psychiatrists and psychologists are referring to here is Self-Confidence and Self-Image and this leads back to how we deal with our naturally occurring egocentrism.

    It is how we deal with our perception of our surroundings in terms of Imaginary Audience, Personal Fable and Apparent Hypocrisy. A person with good Self-Confidence and Self-Image correctly gauges his own perception of himself against that of the public; in other words men do not give a shit what other people think of him as long as he enjoys doing his thing and doing it well.

    Men attach our confidence and image to the work that we do and not the perception people have of us. Women on the other hand, do care very much not what people think but that people are thinking of them. Women attach their confidence and image to their belief of how many people perceive them.

    And we know this is true because women use communication to enhance social connections and relationships (Merchant, K. 2012: 17). Women use communication to get to know more people with the purpose of adding them to their own pool of Narcissistic Supply.

    The woman does not care who these people are as long as they notice her; and this is why you see women having 1,000 friends, followers and subscribers on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube; this is why women gossip and tell secrets about their BFF’s; this is why women can simply believe and spread lies about other people because it is not about others; it is always about their narcissistic need, it is always about them.

    So yes, most if not all women are narcissists whether if it is a little bit or full blown.

    Continued in The Female Psychosis part 3: Solipsism.


    Reference


    Center for Disease Control and Prevention, (2013) Marriage and Divorce. [online] Nov 13, 2013 available from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    Donald, R.M. (1998) White Feather Feminism: The Recalcitrant Progeny of Radical Suffragist and Conservative Pro-War Britain. [online] Jan 13, 1998 available at Ampersand http://itech.fgcu.edu/&/issues/vol1/issue1/feather.htm [accessed Mar 10, 2014]

    Frost (2013) The Truth About False Rape Accusations that All Men Should Know. [online] Dec 23, 2014 available at Return of Kings http://sf-criminaldefense.com/wp-con...llegations.pdf [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    FunnyMalaysia.Net (2013) Crazy Women beat up a worker in BeerFactory just for a pint of Guinness [online video] Sep 12, 2013 available at Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNIToEDq2fk [accessed Mar 10, 2014]

    Hensley, N. (2014) Ohio Woman exposes husband’s affair with Walmart employee. [online] Mar 5, 2014 available at New York Daily News http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...icle-1.1711817 [accessed Mar 10, 2014

    Hotchkiss, S. (2003) Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism. Free Press, Simon & Schuster, New York pp. 3-27

    Jazz Wei, (2014) Malaysia Bossy Girlfriend demanding a house and a car. [online video] Feb 25, 2014 available at Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebdi2zWF1WM [accessed Mar 10, 2014]

    Kanin, J.E. (1994) False Rape Allegations. Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 23, no.1, Plenum Publishing 1994 pp. 81 available online at criminaldefense.com http://sf-criminaldefense.com/wp-con...llegations.pdf [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    Kreger, R. (2011) What Borderlines and Narcissist Fear Most. [online] Oct 19, 2011 available at Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...fear-most-part [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    Lamia, M.C. (2013) Jealousy and Envy: The Emotions of Comparison and Contrast. [online] Jul 13, 2013 available at Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ison-and-contr [accessed Mar 10, 2014]

    Manwomanmyth (2010) Equality – Suffrage and UK voting rights. [online video] Feb 14, 2010 available at Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d25esQeBoU [accessed Mar 10, 2014]

    Merchant, K. (2012) How Men and Women Differ: Gender Differences in Communication Styles, Influence Tactics and Leadership Styles. CMC Senior Thesis, Paper 513 Claremont McKenna College pp. 17 [online] Dec 3, 2012 available at http://scholarship.claremont.edu/cgi...ext=cmc_theses [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    Nathanson, D.L. (1987) The Many Faces of Shame. Guilford Press, New York pp. 64

    Saad, G. (2013) Are Men or Women More Likely to File for Divorce? [online] Nov 14, 2013 available at Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...y-file-divorce [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    Straughan, K. (2013) When Female Privileges Backfires. [online video] Jun 27, 2013 available at Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eqYEVYZgdo [accessed Mar 10,2014]

    Taylor, L. (2009) The Ego Epidemic: How more and more of us women have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness. [Online] Sep 14, 2009 available at The Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ulousness.html [accessed Mar 6, 2014]

    The Critical G, (2013) Fat Feminist Gets Dumped and Responds Predictably. [online video] Sep 25, 2013 available at Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC5k859wU-M [accessed Mar 10, 2014]

    Vaknin, S (n.d.) Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply and Source of Supply. [online] available as samvak http://samvak.tripod.com/faq76.html#narcissisticsupply [accessed Mar 11, 2014]

    Whitbourne, S.K. (2012) The Healthy Side of Narcissism. [online] Jan 24, 2012 available at Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ide-narcissism [accessed Mar 11, 2014]
    Last edited by jagrmeister; March 16, 2014 at 5:19 PM. Reason: Edited Mar 16, 2014

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    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: The Female Psychosis part 2: Narcissism

    I am not convinced that the suffragette movement was hypocritical in wanting votes for women and not in wanting votes for poor men. AFAIK, It was a movement of wealthy women, women with the leisure to chain themselves to public buildings and a guarantee that the powers that be would not deal with them as they would deal with a poor woman doing the same thing. Most likely they weren't after votes for all women, just votes for those of their social and economic class.

  3. #3

    Re: The Female Psychosis part 2: Narcissism

    Quote Originally Posted by Numbat View Post
    I am not convinced that the suffragette movement was hypocritical in wanting votes for women and not in wanting votes for poor men. AFAIK, It was a movement of wealthy women, women with the leisure to chain themselves to public buildings and a guarantee that the powers that be would not deal with them as they would deal with a poor woman doing the same thing. Most likely they weren't after votes for all women, just votes for those of their social and economic class.
    Thank you Numbat, I used the suffragettes as an example not for hypocrisy per se but to highlight their Envy and Arrogance at those who they perceive as to have male privilege. Perhaps I phrased it wrong (which I so often do and hence why I need comments and criticism like yours.)

    Do you know a better example I can use? I'll add you as a contributor

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    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Re: The Female Psychosis part 2: Narcissism

    Quote Originally Posted by Numbat View Post
    I am not convinced that the suffragette movement was hypocritical in wanting votes for women and not in wanting votes for poor men. AFAIK, It was a movement of wealthy women, women with the leisure to chain themselves to public buildings and a guarantee that the powers that be would not deal with them as they would deal with a poor woman doing the same thing. Most likely they weren't after votes for all women, just votes for those of their social and economic class.
    I hear what you're saying, but I think the broader point is that feminists constantly appoint to themselves undeserved moral authority. What Kyo is showing is that their actions are strictly about creating a sociological in-group dynamic, furthering their own interests in a narrow way and ignoring (and in my experience) often displaying contempt for others who suffer a similar plight. Who knows if wealthy suffragettes had different motives; they supported the cause and ultimately won specific concessions for women. At its very beginning, the movement had tunnel vision about advancing their own, and shunning the rest.

    Let me give an manifestation of that mentality. Today, more women in the US attend college than men. YET, feminists continue to have campaigns encouraging women to attend college and there are far more scholarships for women to attend college than men. Even after they've "won the war", they continue to press for their own advancement at the expense of men. Why is this? Because feminism was never about human rights or doing what's right or moral, not even from the beginning; it was a collective group strategy for women to better their own lives, even at the expense of others. They are trying to prove that coordinated collectivism can outmuscle the male notion of individualism. We are the sociological "others" in this case. It's well past time to call feminism out as a naked power grab by women - an attempt to use their collective force to overpower men, who are disunited and atomized. I think Kyo's article does a good job of showing the nature of this pernicious group strategy, right from the beginning.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



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