Thread: laer

Member started out posting he had a problem staying logged onto the site but went off on a rant insulting the site, and me personally, as an apparent cause of it. I sought an apology for insulting me which he gave, although gaslighting me on his sense of humor, but then his attitude continued and escalated, revealing pre-existing animosity towards my moderation, citing free speech. I explained that members get a 7-day temp-ban for insulting members but that I reduced it to a Warning. That went unappreciated, not that I expected a thank you, because it seemed to serve as the basis for more insults. So, something bad was brewing in him and took a hold of him in our conversation, I think, to where there was no backing down on his part. Finally, he pushed it too far while acknowledging that he was pushing for a ban.

This was an odd one, the way a site issue brought out his animosity which he first denied but then he doubled-down. He really took his free speech very seriously, to the exclusion of keeping his most damaging opinions to himself. That happens with a member every now and then. Free speech does not mean violating our Principles.

Banned.

Laer was too hot to talk about it and it went downhill from there. I thought he was ok, but if you want to get banned, that's up to you.

Unboxxed has been accused of being heavy handed, sometimes by me. But he's not being a jerk, even if it looks that way.

Jag's a great owner, you couldn't ask for more. But when it comes to deciding what he wants, you have to figure that out yourself. He's not going to tell you. This is how I see it. Even if no one knows who he is, the site's still a reflection on Jag. When he logs on, he wants to see he's paying for a brotherhood and not a snake pit.

One thing Jag has asked Unboxxed for is that the quality of the site not be diminished by trade cons, purple pill types or those who don't think rules are for them. Right or wrong, that's why these people been sent on their way. Without the old intro system all Unboxxed can do is screen the rookies a little and ban them if they give the wrong answers. Not real efficient, and it's painting Unboxxed black.

I think we should go back to something like the old system. It was like an outlaw motorcycle club. In case you don't know, nobody joins an outlaw club, they tell you when you're in. This would give us two big advantages. For one thing, nobody could just walk in the door like they can now. Better yet, members have an honest say in who they want or don't want. The old system did a lot of good.

People who didn't really want to sign up wasted lots of Unboxxed time, that's one reason intro's went away. Maby there's tech problems sometimes, but most of us signed up without drama. If a noob can't, well fug e'm. No more sign up's than we got lately I think we could go back to the old system. Hell, Unboxxed and I grilled more rookies than all the mods put together in the old days.

First of all, I wouldn't just let an insult go unanswered.

It would have been so easy for laer to stay here, if he just had some style.

If it was me, I would have apologized nicely, blamed it on my ambiguous sense of humor if that's what it really was, and stopped talking, and not take a stand about free speech at this time. That's for another conversation. It could have ended there with unspoken thoughts on both sides and he'd still be here. Coming back with that statement in the midst of an apology showed me his edge, showing it wasn't all humor after all, after just having said it was humor. Don't blow smoke. Don't insult my intelligence. I could see anyway in his opening post how unnecessarily detailed his thought process was, if truly only joking. Showing me his edge was my opening to show him mine. Sometimes I think some people fail to recognize I respond to the pace that they themselves set. I knew he was not joking, and this came out subsequently.

And for some of the past flak I've taken for defending gay MGTOW around here, I'm not letting a member come at me from the other direction as he did. That was one of his unnecessary details, if he was really joking. Accusing me of repeatedly and surreptitiously dropping his connection because he is gay. Wow. One does not let that accusation go unaddressed. He was uninformed and careless, and I'm not going to be paying for his deficiencies on this by letting him say that to me. At one point he seemed to expect credit for not Reporting instances where he felt offended as a gay man. That's on him to Report.

He should have only asked us why his connection was continually dropping and I would have answered, and we'd both be on our way.

He kept muddying this up as he went, such as saying his insults are feedback to my OP as if I asked for it, but nothing he said addressed anything I had said in that OP. Makes no sense, except he's playing bad chess.

I get logged out all the time, it's when I can't log in that I'll say something! Ya can't let life's nibbles and bites bother you, if it does, a little ego deflating may be necessary before the situation gets one humiliated.

When we let go of shit, life doesn't stink as much.