Thread: So what does a good MGTOW life look like?

MGTOW is in some ways, still an alien concept to me.. I mean, here I am, deciding that I might want to have a future on my own, instead of with a permanent partner that lives with me, while I have been afraid of exactly that (having a future without a wife) almost my entire youth. A future without a wife & kids obviously gives you more freedom to move wherever you like, more free time and less expenses so you end up with a lot more options on what to do with your life. I’ve never really given much thought on how to spend all that extra money and time, since I would have just labeled myself as a failure for not having a girlfriend.

To have some food for thought I would like to know what some of the more experienced MGTOWs here do with all their free time and money. I’d also like to know what you do with friendships? (can you still manage with just your childhood friends after they get married), what do you do with women? (ignoring my drive for sex and human connection would not make me happy) and where you derive your identity and self-worth from? (instead of I am a man who provides for a woman and that is good because society says so).

There is only one answer: however you want it to.

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

MGTOW is in some ways, still an alien concept to me.. I mean, here I am, deciding that I might want to have a future on my own, instead of with a permanent partner that lives with me, while I have been afraid of exactly that (having a future without a wife) almost my entire youth. A future without a wife & kids obviously gives you more freedom to move wherever you like, more free time and less expenses so you end up with a lot more options on what to do with your life. I’ve never really given much thought on how to spend all that extra money and time, since I would have just labeled myself as a failure for not having a girlfriend.

To have some food for thought I would like to know what some of the more experienced MGTOWs here do with all their free time and money. I’d also like to know what you do with friendships? (can you still manage with just your childhood friends after they get married), what do you do with women? (ignoring my drive for sex and human connection would not make me happy) and where you derive your identity and self-worth from? (instead of I am a man who provides for a woman and that is good because society says so).

As you make your decision realize that you have some bad information in the two bolded words of your post. A major MGTOW concept is to understand that the words partner, and permanent have nothing to do with 99% of women. That is very hard to come to terms with. Yet the whole manosphere is here providing facts, evidence and testimonials contrary to the female permanent partner fairy tale.

Friendships tend to come and go. Except in rare instances. Single or married. In fact marriage will kill off many of your friendships. Men write about it here and elsewhere all the time. So just take it as it comes with your friends. Lose some and make some new ones. That's just life not a MGTOW side effect.

Being a MGTOW does not mean swearing off women. It is only about making an informed decision on how you choose to deal with them. You need to realize the exact cost of that pussy, in real clear terms, before you choose to get involved. For many MGTOW who have analyzed this in the past, it stacks up for them to not involve themselves with women. Entirely up to you.

As far as your identity and self worth a woman or wife has nothing to do with either. You need to set your own goals and values, then live by them and strive for them as a man should.

As O.G. says ... well, in different words and from a different perspective.

Our parents, our family, our friends, our "moral guardians" and our Society all tell us to follow the standard life-script, i.e. devote your life, your fortune and your sacred honor to the pursuit of sex, the worship of the Almighty Goddess Incarnate who gives it to you, and the lifelong 'privilege' of providing for said Goddess and her children (with the assumption that those children are YOURS, too, and no attention to whoever might have supplied the sperm).

The message includes a few other core concepts that reinforce it and snare us even tighter:

• You aren't a man without a Significant Other; at best, you're a crippled travesty of manhood.
• Your worth depends on the approval of that Significant Other, or generally on the good opinion of women.
• It is a mark of your worth to spend all the time, energy, and money you can scrape together, in pursuit of a S.O.
• It is a privilege to give your all to that S.O. - all your money, all your time, all your attention, all your beingness.
• Everything you own, everything you earn, everything you amass, should BY RIGHT become the property of your S.O.
• It is your particular, unending, unrelenting duty to ensure the happiness of your S.O. Anything else is ... unworthy.
• If something goes wrong, it's your fault. Society agrees with this and will blame you for your lacks.
• If she leaves you, you're the one who leaves, and you leave behind all that you've built for HER family.

This is Society's norm. It is the Blue Pill. It is reinforced by our raging hormones and our engorged gonads, from puberty on. And just to make sure we obey, Society teaches us most carefully that the ONLY thinkable way to relieve that hormonal pressure is to woo and win your own Special Cupcake, and make all your deposits in her sperm-depository; thus your Marriage will be Blessed by Children, and God will be Happy With You.

Once upon a time, that was workable. The Princesses were indoctrinated too. They were given their role as 'helpmeet' and 'home-maker,' they were sold the story of Luv Undying as assiduously as the men were, and Society expected them to do their part (and brought its sanctions against them if they didn't; check out Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter for an example. That was on the schools' reading list, in the day.)

In the past half-century, it's been shot down ... for the Princess. They rose up and said "No! Housekeeping is oppression! Child-raising is oppression! Chastity, fidelity, the Marriage Contract - is OPPRESSION!!! Give us our rights - to our own job in the marketplace, our own income, our own self-direction, our own self-expression, our bodies, our wombs, our abortions, our freedom, our rights, and all the freedom and rights YOU have - because Patriarchy!" And Society - by which I mean, now, the White Knights In Power that make the decisions and pass the laws - promptly gave it up and laid it all at their feet, like a good hunting dog bringing back a fine duck to the shooting blind, because a pat on the head and a "Good Boy" is SO much more valuable when it comes from a Princess!

There is no more "social contract" between you and that hoped-for "permanent partner" i.e. wife. She has no obligations to you, not to love you, nor honor you, and most emphatically not to obey ... She can kick your sorry ass to the curb, on a whim, and the cops and the courts will back her up, because now the Social Contract is between Cupcake and Big Daddy Government. You are expendable. You don't count.

What we are saying here, in the MGTOW philosophy, is that the Almighty Goddess isn't worth worshiping; that measuring yourself by the "Getting-Any" standard or the "Who's-Your-Woman" standard is unnecessary, counter-productive, and damned perilous to your own Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness; and that neither Society nor Cupcake, but you yourself as a Sovereign Man, are ultimately empowered to decide how you will spend your time, your money, your energy, and your life itself.

As for friendship? It's not facilitated by Goddess-worship. The Goddess Incarnate demands your fealty, all of it, plus all of your time and energy and money. Goddess doesn't have time for you to have friends.

As for sex? Rein, are you back in the Netherlands, now, or are you elsewhere? Outside of the United States and a few other puritanical, religion-ridden sex deserts, one can find escorts, or sex-centers, or happy-ending massage parlors, to drain the pain. Or you can take matters into your own hand (which I've done for all but a few "lucky" interludes over my sixty years on this sorry excuse for a home-world).

As for identity, self-worth and the Meaning Of (Your) Life, you are worth everything to yourself, because your "self" is the only "self" you've got. Even if you were married, that would remain the same. Even if you were the Patriarch with a loving, cooking, housekeeping wife of fifty years, ten children, a hundred grandchildren, and those first few great-grandchildren coming forth, that would remain the same, because "self-worth" springs from the "self" and again, you're the only "self" you've got. You choose who you are; you choose the Meaning to put into your own life ...

Measure your self-worth by your own Self. Be the best person, the truest to thine own self, the most rationally self-directed, you can be. Be a lamp unto thine own feet in the darkness, and lead yourself your own way to your own goals and your own fulfillment.

That's the best I can offer, to a Man Going His Own Way.

It largely depends on each person's perspective in what means to go your own way. For me, as reference, it means to be financially stable and able to do everything I want, as well as go "no fucks given" mode when I do something that I want, just because I can. If I want to live in a rented penthouse in Miami, I will; if I want to throw a gigantic party in the penthouse of the Roosevelt in LA, I will; if I want to bring the people I consider my dearest in a private plane and consume disgusting amounts of alcohol, I will; if I want to ship my 6-figure car to attend a rally for the entire duration of it, I will.
Being MGTOW is acknowledging what you can do if you set your mind on it, something that you are restricted by society and that "significUnt other" always.

Originally Posted by VLazarusC

... if I want to bring the people I consider my dearest in a private plane and consume disgusting amounts of alcohol, I will...

Eight hours bottle to throttle. That's the ICAO rule. Just sayin'.

Originally Posted by BeijaFlor

Eight hours bottle to throttle. That's the ICAO rule. Just sayin'.

Difference is, pilots aren't part of the party except for flying the jet, but the flight attendants always can.

Originally Posted by BeijaFlor

Eight hours bottle to throttle. That's the ICAO rule. Just sayin'.

Originally Posted by VLazarusC

Difference is, pilots aren't part of the party except for flying the jet, but the flight attendants always can.

Oh. I had a different perspective on the whole flight thing. Guess it happens when you're an old pilot, like me.

For me it would hopefully be a job I enjoy which pays decently. A small house in a small town with plenty of rural areas around me. A good gaming PC, a comfy chair and bed and a good internet connection would pretty much be all I'd need. I can play video games, watch films and TV, read, write, learn and discuss all of these things on forums such as this. A small circle of friends would be nice as well but they would have to be similar to me.

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

MGTOW is in some ways, still an alien concept to me.. I mean, here I am, deciding that I might want to have a future on my own, instead of with a permanent partner that lives with me, while I have been afraid of exactly that (having a future without a wife) almost my entire youth. A future without a wife & kids obviously gives you more freedom to move wherever you like, more free time and less expenses so you end up with a lot more options on what to do with your life. I’ve never really given much thought on how to spend all that extra money and time, since I would have just labeled myself as a failure for not having a girlfriend.

You need to learn to make peace with yourself first and foremost and think about what it is that you want to do with yourself. You have the fundamentals to do more than 99% of mankind in history could not. Most people need a crutch to act as a center point in their lives and ultimately you will shift from a consumerist (gotta have girlfriend, cool car, nice apartment) mindset to a more spiritual mindset. If it appeals to you, you could even get more involved in a small traditional Catholic church (or other religion), one that teaches from the text and isn't hypocritical, etc.

With a Dutch passport you could go to countless nations and get visaless entry when you land, that was unthinkable even 40 years ago. When I drove from Berlin to Warsaw on my recent Eurotrip, it was poignant to think that I could drive there on a dual carriageway with no visas or checkpoints where 20 years ago it was unthinkable and before that mainly armies did that journey. It was found out that birds fly within a 5 mile radius of where they were hatched, despite having the ability to fly whether. Traveling is something you obviously enjoy, work towards that. It could even be as same as working a normal job in your city and going to a different city within the Netherlands on the weekend.

Traveling is something I enjoy so I try and hit the highway where I can and go somewhere different. Most of the time I holiday domestically and usually take a week long trip about four times a year and on weekends just do day trips. Last year I did an epic adventure around Europe, Scandinavia, Russia as well as go through Malaysia and Hong Kong and I met some interesting people as well as had experiences I will never forget. I am looking to go do Vietnam and China in 2015. If I still had a girlfriend or was chasing women, I wouldn't have done a single thing and it would have only been a pipe dream to do what I've done. I wouldn't have had the money to go, the girlfriend wouldn't have wanted to go and if I decided to go by myself then I would be accused of cheating.

You need to learn to make peace with yourself first and foremost and think about what it is that you want to do with yourself. You have the fundamentals to do more than 99% of mankind in history could not.

Stuff like the above is why I love this place. Brother Grenade just laid down some very inspiring truth. Or at least that's how it should be seen. The chance to live a happy well rounded life. Simply because you are no longer blinded by the fairy tales told to you in the past.

I realized my post yesterday did not answer your post title question. So here it goes my MGTOW day off:

530am: Rise and toss on my ultra plush Brooks Brothers robe. Make my way downstairs and select about 2lbs of organic produce from the fridge. Wash it up and toss it in the juicer. Makes about 24oz of some high powered liquid health fuel. Plop myself down at the kitchen table and sip my juice. Power up the laptop and browse this forum. Start thinking about what to do for the day. Watch the world go by for a bit out my kitchen windows.

630am: Decide I've been slacking on my race car project out in my garage. I need to finish the front brake rebuild. Get it off the jacks and back down on the ground and get the engine and transmission in in. So that's todays goal. I clean up the mess from the juicer head upstairs to shower and dress.

715am: Come downstairs dressed to work on the car. Step out on my back deck. It's a picture perfect sunny spring day. Blue sky slight breeze. Just heaven. I see my fishing pole hanging on the wall right by the back door. I have it there for a reason. I say fuck the car. I go back in the house to grab my worms from the butter compartment in the fridge. I discover the lid was not on tight on their container. I had a few worm escapee's that crawled out and hid under the container. Grabbed them and tossed them back in and headed out the back porch again. Grabbed my fishing rod off the wall and tackle box and headed out again.

730am to 10am: Arrive at the lakefront park by my house. I live in a small resort town. Walk out to the end of the pier with my lawn chair, fishing tackle and cooler of cold drinks. I had all that because my car is stocked with those things 24/7 just for such emergencies. I meet some old guy named Don at the end of the pier. Never saw him in my life. He's 74 years old and we swap stories and bullshit. While we both comment on what a perfect day it is. I catch a keeper. Don had 2 in his live basket. By 10am I'm wanting to turn some wrenches real bad. I realize the race car won't build itself while I'm holding a fishing pole. So I pack it in. I give my new buddy Don my keeper fish. One is not enough for me. His two and my third makes a meal for him. Better he should have it.

1030am to 2pm: Open the garage and theirs my baby waiting for me. 3200lbs of American V8 automobile. I get on with the front brake rebuild. Plus dozens of other small tasks to prep for the engine install. Got the Ramones, Hendrix, Alice Cooper, Graham Parker, and others in the 5 CD changer playing while I work. I get so involved I for get lunch. I finally realize I'm starving and I see its near 2pm.

205pm to 5pm: I come in the house and wash up. More organic veggies for a salad that I gnaw down in minutes. I'm real hungry. Fire up the laptop and reply to your post. Finish the salad and take the laptop into the living room. Hit my favorite chair and check my email. What do you know? Who pops up in my inbox? An old FWB that I kicked to the curb about a year ago. She just "wanted to see" how I am and yada yada yada. I reply to her. Bang! she's right back with a reply.
Now it's all about how glad she is to hear from me. She's not happy with her dating life. She's not getting it like she wants. She's horny as can be etc. So I tell her I'm making Italian sausage, peppers, onions and potatoes for dinner tomorrow night. (that's today now). That if she shows up with a side dish, dressed in something low cut, I might let her in the house again. Her reply is " I think I'll bring the wine too". So I said okay. Next thing I know it's 5pm. Seems I drifted off with the computer on my lap. I had a good 2hr nap in my favorite chair.

5pm to 10pm: Back out in the garage. Spend 1-1/2 hrs cleaning tools and organizing. Fire up the mower and cut my lawn. See the local newspaper on my front porch. Read it on the porch swing after mowing the lawn. Call my elderly parents and bullshit with them. A buddy calls to make fishing plans. I finish up and paperback novel I had going. I go to bed.

For me that was a pretty good MGTOW day in the life.

755am Today: I'm through with this post. I'm ready to juice some veggies. I'm headed back out to the garage and the project car. Going to get the engine in today. A major milestone on it's way back together! Then I'll clean up, cook dinner, and maybe get my pipes cleaned out by a big titted horny bimbo tonight. Then again maybe not. She got kicked to the curb last year for flaking. So we shall see.

Only sure thing is this. It will be my way, all day, just because I can.

If there was a woman at home, would I have three bikes, and ride them anywhere I want? Would I cut a hole in the kitchen wall to park the flagship bike where I wanted it? Would I be coming and going as I please, eating what I want, and doing things my way?
On paper, I aint much. Just another working stiff who's getting by. But when I die, theres going to be hundreds of people, who if they knew, are going to feel bad. They'd say, "he might of been a crazy bastard, but he helped me out when he didnt have to." Most of them were small favor's, but not all of e'm. a few were big one's.
You think the average woman would let her man help anyone else? Not a chanch in hell.

Originally Posted by BeijaFlor

Eight hours bottle to throttle. That's the ICAO rule. Just sayin'.

I broke that rule, once. Of course - my throttle was a motorbike throttle. And when I say "motorbike", I mean "scooter".

Didn't make it out of the carpark. I still walk with a limp.

Thanks lads, this really some posts really show what it could be like, and what it could feel like. I tried to envision what I could do with my future while living alone, and you know what? It actually feels like it could be a very good and happy life. I'll give this a shot. I won't ask anymore questions about how-to-be a MGTOW, and start being one, and find out for myself.

As a child and teen, I hated being dragged to visit boring relatives on the weekend while I knew my friends were playing sports and I was missing out. I couldn't see myself being married and having to visit more relatives. Today it's great waking up on a Saturday morning knowing I have the entire weekend stretching out before me and I'm not beholden to anyone.

How I spend the weekend is irrelevant. It's that feeling of freedom that matters.

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

To have some food for thought I would like to know what some of the more experienced MGTOWs here do with all their free time and money.

On weekdays, If I'm at home I cook a meal for myself using fresh ingredients I prepare from scratch. If you don't know how to cook for yourself, go on a course or get someone to teach you. It is one of the genuine MALE pleasures in life and allows me to unwind after work.

If my schedule is hectic I will prepare some meals in advance at the weekend that just need reheating or plan out a slow-cooker week. Slow cooked meat is tender, juicy and awesome.

After that I will have a few beers (European summertime or when in Asia) or a bottle of wine (European rest of the year) and watch a movie, play a video game on my PS3 or do some blogging. I quit watching broadcast TV years ago.

At the weekend, depending on the weather I will take the motorbike out for a ride or spend the weekend with friends (usually involves flying out Friday night and back Sunday, but dirt cheap and covered by company expenses)

For vacations, I enjoy sailing and snorkelling in either the Mediterranean (when in Europe) or Thailand (when in Asia). I'm planning on getting into sub-aqua, but need to lose some weight first, then take my PADI.

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

I’d also like to know what you do with friendships? (can you still manage with just your childhood friends after they get married)

Being a gregarious expat I both spend time and effort maintaining my existing childhood friendships and new ones (mostly ex-colleagues at client sites in Europe and Singapore).

They like that I am prepared to fly / drive long distances to see them as it reflects on them how I value their relationship.

I'm also an active member of the local ex-pat group in Penang and Melaka - several friendships have arisen from this.

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

What do you do with women? (ignoring my drive for sex and human connection would not make me happy)

Being in my 40's, my sex drive is lower than it was, but I enjoy fucking young 18-20 year olds and that means pay4play for me.

My favourite location is Pattaya, Thailand. Apart from pay4play I wouldn't get involved in even a short-term relationship with a woman as it is too risky.

When working at client sites in Europe I wear a wedding ring and tell them that I'm happily married with a wife and child in Penang, Malaysia - it keeps the vultures away and stops me from suffering the workplace discrimination I would face if I was openly MGTOW.

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

where you derive your identity and self-worth from? (instead of I am a man who provides for a woman and that is good because society says so).

My self-worth comes from the job I do and doing it well, for which I am paid about $1,000 a day on freelance contracts typically lasting between 3 and 9 months, although occasionally 2 to 3 years. I quite often have gaps of 3-6 months between contracts, which is a godsend - but requires good budgeting skills.

In between contracts I play and travel widely, but keep my costs low. This is a lifestyle I enjoy and my wife and child were a limiting factor on this, but not any more.

There is still the financial drain of supporting the wife and child, but they are in the far east so costs are low.

She knows full well that she fucked up our marriage and that also if she sues me for alimony or child support I will just cut her off completely and vanish - I'm already ghosting anyway with no permanent address, so it would take a day or two for me to vanish from her life completely.

She fucking hates this, but there is nothing she can do as she has no resources other than me and the Malaysian government doesn't do Western-style welfare, so they don't give a rats ass.

Our Man in Penang - I salute you, sir. You are truly living the life.

OK, I'll chime in too. 61 years old and living the MGTOW lifestyle for past couple of years but became fully aware of MGTOW just in the past 6 months or so. I live in the NE USA (NY) and its cold here in the winter, so I spend those months in the Caribbean where I consult for radio and cable tv operations. I am an avid cyclist (the kind you peddle) so I maximize the best cycling weather and countryside during the summer months here in NY.

Early summer, I spend a month in the French and Italian Alps, each year I do two of the major climbs found in the Tour de France and Giro d'Italia, a bucket list of sorts. I return back to NY in time for harvesting my peaches that I have planted over the past couple of years.

I could not have this sort of lifestyle if I were married or in a LTR, I know since I tried it. No way to coordinate travel, places to stay or things to do. As you get older, time is most important and having any impediment to planning is a real deal breaker. There is also the savings in expenses, I travel to Europe in business class since its as cheap as two coach tickets. Dinners are half price without having the extra mouth - that never shuts up - to feed. Hotels are the same price, but the peace and quiet is priceless. 'Winging it' is infinitely easier since you come up with a plan and simply do it without any exasperating explaining or second guessing from the tag-a-long twat. This is especially valuable when plans change on the fly due to Alpine passes not being open or a tip from another cyclist on a great ride or a fantastic restaurant not to be missed.

I had a pretty good life even while being married, but that was like driving while always towing a 2,500 lb trailer attached to your 4 cylinder car. It was do-able but a lot of work. Shedding the wives and G/Fs has freed me beyond belief, and any trepidation I felt before going MGTOW is now a distant and entertaining memory. I feel slightly embarrassed when talking with married friends who comment frequently on my great lifestyle, I am getting over that by simply laying down the facts and giving them this site's URL.

Originally Posted by Ancient Sunlight

There is only one answer: however you want it to.

YES! Life will be what you want it to be: WITHOUT compromising your Honor, Morals, Speech, Behavior, Money, Work-ethics or your personal growth. (most women will demand that you do all of the above, unless some part of it works to their advanage)

Originally Posted by ikbenrein

MGTOW is in some ways, still an alien concept to me.. I mean, here I am, deciding that I might want to have a future on my own, instead of with a permanent partner that lives with me, while I have been afraid of exactly that (having a future without a wife) almost my entire youth. A future without a wife & kids obviously gives you more freedom to move wherever you like, more free time and less expenses so you end up with a lot more options on what to do with your life. I’ve never really given much thought on how to spend all that extra money and time, since I would have just labeled myself as a failure for not having a girlfriend.

To have some food for thought I would like to know what some of the more experienced MGTOWs here do with all their free time and money. I’d also like to know what you do with friendships? (can you still manage with just your childhood friends after they get married), what do you do with women? (ignoring my drive for sex and human connection would not make me happy) and where you derive your identity and self-worth from? (instead of I am a man who provides for a woman and that is good because society says so).

You don't realize just how much money and time are sunk into attracting and keeping women, until you exit the Matriarchy Freeway and see the madness from the shoulder.

Last month I went to a major city on business, and had the occasion to visit the city mall. Three stories of raw commercialism on display, and it suddenly hit me as I walked through the halls that nearly every man besides myself was with a shopping bag toting female, and nearly every shop catered in some way or another to women. It was a humbling throught to have.

It puts you as a man in an interesting position:with everyone else you know on the Expressway to Hell, you have free reign to chart your own party in ways completely inconceivable to the crowd. Want to move across the country? Go for it!

Want to save up for a 50k dollar sports car? Do it!

Think spending money on females is stupid? Opt the fuck out.

It's all possible. The great thing about going your own way, is you are the only obstackle.