GabrielKnight
Senior Member

I do think about her a lot, but I am unconditionally embracing freedom. Its just hard to forget about someone who was a big part of your life, even if it was just 9 months.

One thing I am positive with is, this experience was incredible. SO many things were learnt and it was absolutely vital for my growth going forward.

Theres so much that you have written to chew on. A part of me still finds it hard to believe that she really is as cold as you say she is. I cant believe that she lied to me all the time. She told me things about herself in confidence. That she used to be an alcoholic, takes anti depressants, got raped as a teenager etc... She didn't have to tell me these things.

In fact 2 months in she said "I wish I could be perfect for you Dan". I really was being perfect I think. As I let my vulnerable and weak sides of me show and tell her my fears, I think she resented me. Its funny because she was the one who was very attached at the beginning and I used to tell her about unattachment is the way forward and she wanted to pin me down.

Its incredible how powerful sex is. I remember the last time we had sex. We had been broken up for a week, we got back together and had sex in a sunbed room. I remember as I was fucking her and thinking "I love her" even though our relationship was a fucking mess

Hey man, you said to send you a private message regarding my ex. I can't stop thinking about this girl. It's horrible. Half the time I'm fine and glad it's over and free to live my life exactly how I want to and the other half is in pain that just never seems to end.