• What is MGTOW About and why Is a Community Necessary?



    There are times when uninformed observers comment on MGTOW in a way that is bereft of judgment. It is typically a glib remark that wholly misunderstands what MGTOW is about. But when it is repeated ad nauseum, I need to say something. In this case, it goes something like "Well, I'm fine if people want to be MGTOW. But if they were truly going their own way, why do they need to talk about it all the time online."

    This observation stems from a total misunderstanding of MGTOW. Here's what is happening: they interpret the acronym literally - as men entirely disconnecting from society and other human beings. A very simplistic assessment of what MGTOW is, and one that is fundamentally wrong.

    MGTOW does not mean living a solitary life in a Unabomber shack. However, MGTOW is not a movement. It's not an organization or a group. So, then what is it.........?

    MGTOW is awareness
    .

    MGTOW is Awareness...leading to a Unique Lifestyle
    It is an awareness that something is very wrong with women today, for reasons we discuss, and that, in response, a man can live a fulfilling life by bucking social norms, defining his sense of self-worth in his own terms (a measure uninfluenced by "success" with women), and pursuing his life goals and interests fully without the compulsion to spend handfuls of time searching a for a "soul mate" that likely doesn't exist in the age of feminism. It is an awareness of the true nature of women and the changing nature of relationships. From this awareness, a culture or lifestyle develops. That is what we discuss. What shape does the culture take? It varies as widely as the participants but includes things like "What is an ideal travel destination for a bachelor?" or sharing ideas on male hobbies or discussing ideal sexual strategy for men in this camp- economizing female options through Recreational Game. MGTOWs are a unique breed- we are men who are unattached and uninterested in becoming attached. As such, we have unique preferences.

    We're neither interested in Disneyland travel packages set up for families, nor are we necessarily interested in all the standard "tips for single people" that are dispensed on sites for men that are about how to dress the right way to attract a woman. We discuss the topics one would if one's life was unencumbered by mothers-in-laws or arguing over who drives the kids to day care -- philosophy, books, comedy, movies, filing patents, surf trips, lazy weekends. Unlike married men, we actually get to watch movies we enjoy, not whichever movie can you can negotiate your wife to also watch. So we go deeper into these areas.

    To be fair to our critics, much of this living happens offline - something our critics can't see (and therefore lazily don't mentally process) and therefore they focus only on the discussions we have online - which they myopically assume is the totality of our existence.

    To recap, critics mistakenly believe that MGTOW is leaving society and everyone else behind, whereas in reality it is about disregarding society's pressure that a man needs a woman. When we make that singular decision, a different life follows. Though we are all different and take our own path, there is plenty of intersection because we all got off the same off-ramp. And there is much we can share and learn from each other.

    Living Outside the Default Life Script
    Society is set up for people who follow the default life script. That is why there are tons of service providers, travel planning, HR policies for men with families; there are tons of dating/adventure travel options for singles (I use "singles" in terms of men who are unattached but looking to get attached), bars for single people to meet up, dating sites, magazines for young men who are interested in overpaying for the right sunglasses that women are into. When you ignore this life script, you necessarily live an alternative lifestyle- and that requires discussion in order to best navigate it because there aren't well worn contours. We are building that lifestyle and culture thorough our investigations and then sharing it with the wider community.

    For lurkers, here's my "cartoon drawing" example if it's not clear by now. Let's say you broke with a social norm. Let's say you decided to only eat breakfast every meal of the day. Society is set up to serve steak and sushi for dinner, not omelettes. But if you felt there was nothing AM'ish about bacon and waffles, and it was fitting any minute of the day, you may want to share tips with other breakfast-addicts as to which restaurants actually have breakfast options at 9 PM, what places have the best syrup, etc. You would have to talk about it because the standard mainstream restaurant review sites like Yelp largely wouldn't.

    MGTOW as Observation, Philosophy and Life Skills
    There is one more thing. In addition to trading notes on the MGTOW lifestyle, a key reason MGTOWs congregate is to examine the world as it is, women as they are, relationships as they've become. This is important because we're just about the only men who can objectively observe the descent of female behavior, due to feminism, because we're just about the only men who've tamed our sexual instinct. All other men are either too consumed by their sex drive to fault women (PUAs), following their sex drive into a bad decision (blue pillers) or trying to rationalize the bad decision they already made (guy with GF, married man). What our well-meaning but confused observers call 'complaining' is explaining. The culture is the water we swim in. Even if we ignore its dictates, feminist talking points find their way into everything from movie plot lines to signs at work. We observe, critique, and minimize the negative influence of an often ridiculously biased culture against us. MGTOWs are observers of culture; and its this keenly observant nature that allowed us to see the off-ramp from mainstream idiocy. We continue to keep our eyes open; that's the only way to navigate a world where 90% of the people (men and women) around us are sleepwalking with blue-pill feminist programming running through their minds.


    Image source: Google Images, for reuse
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/nznavy/5462537513/
    Comments 9 Comments
    1. Axis's Avatar
      Axis -
      Absolute brilliant piece!
    1. Kyojiro Kagenuma's Avatar
      Kyojiro Kagenuma -
      Absolute brilliant piece!
      yes it is
    1. mr.jr's Avatar
      mr.jr -
      Amen, brother!
    1. Chukhed's Avatar
      Chukhed -
      Perfect!
    1. BunnyBunnito's Avatar
      BunnyBunnito -
      That's why I am here; it's comforting to know that there are others out there.
    1. Ace Francis's Avatar
      Ace Francis -
      This is a pretty good article. I used to perhaps almost buy into the shame being put at types like me in that form of "if you're going your own way, then just GO" line by so-called masculinists like Matt Forney and others.

      But leaving behind the Disney script, having support, is really helpful. This is not my first rodeo in the Manosphere. In 2004 I opted to get my dating advice from men's only heterosexual forums referring women because I knew the answers would be more authentic. No need to worry about some disingenuous jackass trying to give an answer that would be the rated G version lest he had a chance with some woman on that forum.

      I found eventually that I went from dating higher quality women to lower quality ones near the end of my former hard drug addiction.

      It's ironic I am gonna use AA or NA as an example since k quit drugs without the 12-steps. Anyway, like those meeting rooms, some people find it easier to leave behind a hard habit to break with some support.

      I know this place was a lifeboat as we the other Manosphere forums when woman who went from having me on the pedestal to throwing me into the ditch. I helped me to know I was the one getting the raw deal and to next them quite a few times.

      Anyway, MGTOW is the next step beyond a simple red or purple pill. This support and seeing that other men had women play from the same script allowed me to be fair and firm and not except any crumbs of love if there was there was is.

      This forum has made me stronger and I am grateful for it. You were always my favorite posted on the Nacho forum and that's despite you being a somewhat late arrival.

      Anyway, thanks for this excellent article, Jagr.
    1. Magic Bullets's Avatar
      Magic Bullets -
      MGTOW are observers of our culture, this is particularly relevant as MGTOWs can observe how our culture is changing and how people are being manipulated. I like the description of how this observation serves as an offramp from the Mainstream lunacy.
    1. BeijaFlor's Avatar
      BeijaFlor -
      Quote Originally Posted by Magic Bullets View Post
      MGTOW are observers of our culture, this is particularly relevant as MGTOWs can observe how our culture is changing and how people are being manipulated. I like the description of how this observation serves as an offramp from the Mainstream lunacy.
      Thank you, Magic Bullets, and you're right; we've divorced ourselves enough from Mainstream Culture that we can track the changes, the perversions, the manipulations. Better yet, we can see our way through to a better answer ... not a shared, mandated, regulated future, but an opportunity wherein each of us can work toward our own individual preferences, "Going Our Own Way."

      By the way ... you need to post a proper introduction in the New Member Intros section, and the sooner, the better. "How To Intro," the sticky-post at the top of that sub-forum, explains what we expect in a New Member Intro. You're welcome to use my intro (hot-linked in my signature, below this post) as an example.
    1. AuFaultLine's Avatar
      AuFaultLine -
      Good piece, thanks for taking the time to do the article, cheers
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