i have been learning about lying by meeting guys who lie. the first time i had a close relationship with guys who lie was 5 years ago. one cousin did a little lie, telling me his job at a rope and wire factory. he told me he made things, but he was actually a janitor. the second time, my other cousin was having a long conversation exchanging lies with my friendly acquaintance. they were lying about their family and their jobs for 5-10 minutes, and had no other conversation.
these two examples were based on defined conversations. i was able to understand or accept the people and their behavior. i had a context for these guys based on our friendships. i was looking at the limitations of those two conversations; they weren't hurting anyone. the following lies were not limited by subject, circumstance, or personal understanding:
a long time ago, i met a 50 year old man who told me about lying to strangers in public. i was thinking he was a prankster and anomalous.
recently, i met a guy in my town. i started talking to him. he was alone in public, walking. i was starting a conversation based on our similarities; we are both 20-30 males doing personal things during traditional school and work hours. i was exercising. he began talking about me exercising. he was lied about his motivations to exercise; ending the conversation by making a simple contradictory comment about his desire to exercise, and using his tone and inflection to emphasize his lie.
i don't know if many guys lie because they want privacy. i suspect many lies are expressions of social competition for dominance, like an animal. i'm disappointed, because i have always thought people have a more narrow and defined range of limitations and behaviors.
i understand morality based on reciprocity and empathy, but some behaviors seem to defy those rules. i have made a lot of progress identifying and accepting other people and their behaviors. hopefully, this will help me do the same for lying.
the more i know about people, the less i want to talk to them. i am surprised, because i used to think the best people were social people. also, i was encouraged to think these things. now, my personal social experience and my knowledge of human and animal nature supports the conclusion that the best behavior avoids interacting with other creatures.