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  1. #1
    Senior Member Eiji's Avatar
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    sense of being "othered".....

    time and again I often have this nagging feeling that I don't belong here.... (as in, I don't belong on this penal colony called "Earth")
    its gone on for a very long time.... as if I have been banished from the human species since third grade..

    any insights from the Collective???
    "I live in freedom, under my own flag." - Captain Harlock

    "You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies." - The Doctor, "Remembrance of the Daleks"

    "A man builds, a parasite asks 'where's my share?'." - Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

    "If you can tune into the fantasy life of an 11-year-old girl, you can make a fortune in this business." - George Lucas

  2. #2
    Senior Member Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: sense of being "othered".....

    I'm reminded of the Church of the Subgenius:


  3. #3
    Senior Member Eiji's Avatar
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    Re: sense of being "othered".....

    plusunfunny Wombat.....
    seriously... I do feel "out of place" among this "species"...
    "I live in freedom, under my own flag." - Captain Harlock

    "You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies." - The Doctor, "Remembrance of the Daleks"

    "A man builds, a parasite asks 'where's my share?'." - Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

    "If you can tune into the fantasy life of an 11-year-old girl, you can make a fortune in this business." - George Lucas

  4. #4
    Senior Member Eddie Willers's Avatar
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    Re: sense of being "othered".....

    I've felt that sense of disconnection since I was in my teens, and wanted to be part of a group (yet not at one with it) for most of my adult life. It wasn't until my divorce and discovery of MGTOW that I've made my peace with such feelings; now I have a better insight into what their drivers are/were.
    A gun-toting, weed-smoking, gray-bearded redneck with a Masters - old and dangerous.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: sense of being "othered".....

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiji View Post
    time and again I often have this nagging feeling that I don't belong here.... (as in, I don't belong on this penal colony called "Earth")
    its gone on for a very long time.... as if I have been banished from the human species since third grade..

    any insights from the Collective???
    I appreciate your candor. I won't assume which specific direction(s) you are coming from in your feeling, but I had carried that feeling for much of my life. Always the outsider. Among other things, thinking and saying things that are met with unacceptance or puzzlement, then years later the same thoughts are going around and no one gets the reaction I had received when I had said them. I got no satisfaction from this. Also, I'd never cop a petty attitude with people when they would cop one with me and with each other. Never understood why people choose to be selfish instead of analytically seeking the truth of the matter. Like I am out of sync, and that only lawyers and psychologists might understand me. I liked myself, always, and believed in myself, always, but that ever-present feeling of disconnection could not be explained.

    For me, I fell backwards into learning about reincarnation. I say "fell backwards" because I was not intentionally searching for it or for anything like it. As I learned about it, much of it fit or explained many of my otherwise seemingly irreconcilable differences between me and others. Plus much more. It's been a good model of thinking for my head, that we are all traveling at different rates of speed, intentionally. I feel no more discomfort for being who I am, wondering why I am the way I am, in relation to myself, or to others, or to anything. Reincarnation actually put a framework to a future that I had held out for myself all along, although up until then my thoughts in that regard were nebulous and possibly malformed, but always there.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    You're better than any man you outlive.
    - me

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ace Francis's Avatar
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    Re: sense of being "othered".....

    I was always an outsider. I found acceptance from fellow musicians and even felt better and superior to normies. By my 30s I felt like a weirdo among those with respectable jobs and normal lives in music circles. They never treated me like it, but I never did do on to get the career, wife, kids and house package.

    To some extent, while I was relieved not to be tied to the burden of being married or the sacrifice it takes to have and raise kids, I started for the first time in my life to feel like maybe I was a lesser afterall.

    In my 40s I see I was not as GREAT as I thought I was in my early 20s. But am not as lame as I thought I was perhaps in my early to mid 30s when I started keeping score with strangers who did better at the normie lifestyle. I think it's good to think you're awesome and gonna live forever. And it's even good IMHO for the pendulum to swing the other way and be a little too self-critical. But eventually the pendulum swings to the middle. (To steal from the NMMNG forum metaphor).

    Some of the most loved writers, musicians, and actors were as eccentric as anything. They wore their misfit badge with honor. I learned us misfits who are not famous can have the same self-love (without being conceited or delusional about it) and pride at a young adult age. And it benefited me ways that being a wannabe normie never would have had I tried it that way. Actually, I sort of tried doing it that way for a year or so in my early 30s.

    But as the Brian Wilson written Beach Boys song titles from his masterpiece Pet Sounds goes That's Not Me or I Was Just Not Made For Living In These Times. Or John Lennon's Working Class Hero or I Found Out from his classic debut after the Beatles. So I stopped that dream fast enough. Danzig's "Not Of This World" works too!

    So you're not a normie, Eiji. Same here. Lots are not. And I don't mean the people no one wants anything to do with. Some are bachelors, some are ghosts, some are married.

    When we end up finding each other as friends or acqquaintes in real life, it's a blessing. Even being asocial and just sharing your thoughts with like minded people helps these forums spin round. So your contributions and mine are appreciated.

    Self-acceptance. Not the Hollywood fluff version. More like the one for REAL people. Sometimes we just have to live with limitations. No one else is perfect. Don't beat yourself up the rest of your life for not being perfect for them. It's not like THEY'RE gonna change to impress or fit in with you. And you sure as anything don't have to do it for them.
    Last edited by Ace Francis; April 26, 2017 at 12:15 AM.


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