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  1. #1
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    If after an initial euphoria of going your own way (and being liberated from the shackles of an automatic life), you occasionally feel you're not your usual self, you are not alone. In fact, the mental shift to MGTOW effects your neural chemistry in significant ways. There are ways to recapture your energy and motivation.


    The Default Program

    Mankind's "default program", our biological hard-wiring to survive and reproduce, comes built in with all kinds of inducements to follow the program, and consequences for not doing so. It's why we feel good when we have sex, and why sometimes we get depressed when we don't. It's why when we do certain things to aid our survival, such as obtain resources (ie: make money; or even find $20 on the street), we get a high. This 'default program' was a subconscious set of levers the selfish gene within us implanted so that the caveman would do 'the right thing' and survive, and screw, and pass the genes on. Whatever our conscious mind thinks it wants, the subconscious is extremely powerful, if more subtle, and can wreak havoc on our well-being if we totally ignore it.

    As we move off the main highway, the subconscious observes as much. This unthinking "natural motivation" is what powers most blue pillers. They answer to its call whether they know what they're doing or not. But they do get some of the endorphins and well being from obeying it. When you buck it, one must produce one's own motivation, and it is anything but natural. Being red pill takes much more effort, because you actually have to think and remind yourself what you want from the world, and then go out and take it, all the while your subconscious is actually going "WTF".



    "Default Motivation and Conscious Motivation" - Create your Own Flame

    We actually don't understand the why of what we do in many cases. We are often pursuing goals that are put there by eons of evolution and while we pursue them, we're not always aware we're pursuing them.. When we are blue pill, we have this deep motivation, which we aren't always conscious of, that wants to build a good life, so that we can attract a mate. This is one of the default motivational sources within men. We don't even consciously think of it that way, but make no mistake, we do have this invisible force within us, put there by our genetics, that is like a fire - it is our motivation for getting up early in the morning, for buying that nice car, for fixing up the condo or buying a home. When we observe the nature of the modern woman and decide it's not worth it, that flame can sometimes diminish to a flicker.

    When you go MGTOW and stare down your inner program, one's mind doesn't always cooperate. It is the eternal battle between the subconscious "default program" and the conscious mind's rational assessment about what is best for yourself. The two are always competing for your agenda; and just as the Will of the conscious mind can subdue the subconscious wants, the subconscious can and does fight back. It can make you depressed by not following its dictates, and does. As I'll explain in the next paragraph, you can create your own flame through conscious motivation.



    Going from Unconscious Auto-Pilot to Conscious Motivation

    When you buck the default program of procreation, the subconscious- which ordinarily dutifully aids in your memory of favorite things and activities- decides that your conscious minds wants to be boss, it can be boss. But it won't aid and abet it. So even though before, it would naturally use associative connections to prompt you to do what you love to do: whether it be hike out in the woods or play poker, it decides it's not needed and doesn't do do so. The unconscious motivation process is natural, in the sense it's what feels natural, and takes no effort. Conscious motivation is comparatively 'unnatural'. The conscious mind now has to fetch all the things you like and love about life and push yourself to go do those things. Your Will must now not only define your life path but also your pursuit of happiness. The days of your subconscious readily surfacing things you usually enjoy, like it used to, may be over. This extra push has to come from somewhere and then you usually end up enjoying what it is you set your mind to do. But otherwise stasis and apathy can easily reign.

    One has to look within and remind myself what it is that makes one happy and do it. For whatever reason, it doesn't come as naturally as it used to. Using myself as an example, for a while I went without competitive sports. I surfed and I worked out, but I didn't have the thrill of battle, so to speak. I forced myself to go out there again and play pickup basketball, and not just play tennis recreationally but also competitively.

    Conscious motivation is work. But the rewards are even greater.

    Some of you may be wondering -- who is this Jagrmeister guy? Have a look at some of my posts from MGTOW Forums--> Jagr Archive (collection of my articles)



    Stuff I do: Box, Surf, Tennis (3.5/4.0), Downhill skiing. I lift 4x a week and have for 10 years.
    Stuff I like: Comedy shows, NBA, Reading Non-Fiction (sociology, philosophy, biographies).
    Random facts: I admire Steve Jobs. Favorite travel spots (Russia, Central America).
    *If you're on Twitter, follow me: MGTOW_Jagr

  2. #2
    Senior Member Hoser's Avatar
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    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    Good points. Finding motivation is probably the biggest issue I have with GMOW.

    I had to stop competitive sports due to the crapulence of aging. No matter how hard I work out, it just isn't the same.

  3. #3
    Moderator Chairborne's Avatar
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    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    The tough part for a lot of guys is deciding precisely what to pursue, how to motivate themselves. I mean PRECISELY.

    It's one thing to say "Hey, now that I'm MGTOW I can do whatever the fuck I want."

    But the next question is: "What the fuck do I want?"

    It's a tough process, ESPECIALLY as a man gets older. Because if you don't replace that default motivation with something conscious, your only purpose in life could end up that you just transform nourishment into excrement and push it out of you (hopefully) once a day.

    That's been the hardest part for me - being free to do what I want does not equal understanding what I want. I'm still working on that bit.
    Who's Chairborne? Office worker & Army Reservist, into electronic music, drummer in a jam band, table-top RPGs, bicycling, X-country skiing, biathlon & marksmanship, TV-free for 15 years.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    I ponder this problem frequently. The most helpful thing I have found for myself is to ask "if I had no obligations today, what would I do?" - and then make certain that I block off some time in the near future to do whatever the answer happened to be!

    @Jagr, that is by far and away the best verbalization of this topic I have ever encountered. Kudos!
    Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.

    "Love is for poets." -- Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod

  5. #5

    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    Jagr speaks the truth folks! The beauty in cultivating your own motivation, is that when you enact your plans, which are the fruit of your motivation, the motivation comes naturally because your plans have a built-in element of nobility. Just knowing that you are doing the right thing, immediately sows the seeds of motivation.


    From a logistical standpoint, making a schedule is a great tool that you can use to ensure that your new default setting is your MGHOW walk. Start by getting yourself a day planner or some scheduling software. The first step in creating a schedule, is to fill-in any necessities that you have no control over. Work, commutes, meals, shopping, sleeping, meetings, etc. After that, what you'll want to do is create what Dr Neil Fiore calls an "Unschedule" in his book "The Now Habit." Basically, an unschedule is where you plan to essentially do things that may be unproductive, but you really enjoy them(Watching tv, going for a random drive, going to the park and laughing at the blue pill men pushing around strollers with a look of disgust, etc) What this will do, is free-up any anxieties that you may have about not ever being able to take the weight of the world off your shoulders. You'll rest easy knowing that you will have free time to do whatever you want to do. As a MGTOW man, if you so desire, you'll have plenty of time to recharge your batteries in an unschedule-like fashion

    After your unschedule, start filling-in the gaps in your schedule with the things you want to become your new default motivations. Don't worry if you don't have everything figured out from the onset because this is a journey, not a destination. You'll be amazed at how much clarity you'll get as your motivation takes you for a ride. When making your schedule, look for a balance of all facets of life(Physical fitness, Education, Financial,Social(if applicable) Spiritual(if applicable) Creative, and so-on depending on your personal desires. Personally, I've developed a color code for all categories of my schedule from the Unschedule to all of the other facets of life I mentioned. After I make the schedule, I highlight each entry with the corresponding colored highlighter and by looking at the amount of each color, it is easy to see the amount of balance my life will have by the end of the week. This completely frees-up anxieties where I may worry that certain aspects of my life will suffer.

    Gentleman, I fall off of my schedule(and even fall off of making the schedule) quite often, but I will tell you that the times when I work through the schedule, I feel like I'm riding a wave of refreshing life. Every day when I complete the entries on my schedule, I have tangible evidence that I have met my potential. I sleep better, I feel better, and my leisure(Unschedule) time is free of guilt because I've earned the spoils of "slumming it" for following through.

    Anyway, I started making such a schedule far before I declared myself a MGHOW, but now that I've made such a declaration, I have much more clarity, and am better equipped to achieve my potential in all facets of life. Anyway, I hope this is helpful. I didn't want to threadjack Jagr's insightful post, but I feel like making a detailed schedule is an excellent way to garner more productive forms of motivation, and to eventually work toward an auto-pilot mode that will help you maximize the benefits of MGTOW philosophy by eliminating distractions.
    Last edited by GrimyBrisketbeard; October 5, 2017 at 5:03 AM.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    Thanks Brantus, I will give this a go!
    Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.

    "Love is for poets." -- Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod

  7. #7

    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    Quote Originally Posted by BrentusBeast View Post
    Jagr speaks the truth folks! The beauty in cultivating your own motivation, is that when you enact your plans, which are the fruit of your motivation, the motivation comes naturally because you're plans have a built-in element of nobility. Just knowing you are doing the right thing, immediately sows the seeds of motivation.


    From a logistical standpoint, the greatest tool that you can use to ensure that your new default setting is your MGHOW walk, is a schedule. Get yourself a day planner or a schedule software. The first thing you want to do, is fill-in anything that you have no control over. Work, commutes, meals, meetings, etc. After that, what you'' want to do is create what Dr Neil Fiore calls an "Unschedule" in his book "The Now Habit." Basically, an unschedule is where you actually plan to essentially do things that may be unproductive, but you really enjoy them(Watching tv, going for a random drive, going to the park and laughing at the blue pill men pushing around strollers with a look of disgust, etc) What this will do, is free-up any anxieties that you may have about not ever being able to take the weight of the world off your shoulders. You'll rest easy knowing that you will have free time to do whatever you want to do. As a MGTOW man, you'll have plenty of this time!

    After that, start filling in the gaps in your schedule with the things you want to become your new default motivations. Don't worry if you don't have everything figured out from the onset because this is a journey, and not a destination. You'll be amazed at how much clarity you'll get as your motivation takes you for a ride. When making your schedule, look for a balance of all facets of life(Physical fitness, Education, Financial,Social(if applicable) Spiritual(if applicable) Creative. What I've done, is developed a color code for all facets of my schedule from the Unschedule to all of the other facets of life I mentioned. After I make the schedule, I highlight each entry with the corresponding colored highlighter and it shows me how much balance my life have by the end of the week.

    Gentleman, I fall off of my schedule(and even fall off of making the schedule) quite often, but I will tell you that the times when I work through the schedule, I feel like I'm riding a wave of refreshing life. Every day when I complete my schedule, I have tangible evidence that I have met my potential. I sleep better, I feel better, and my leisure(Unschedule) time is free of guilt because I've earned the spoils of "slumming it" for following through.

    Anyway, I started making such a schedule far before I declared myself a MGHOW, but not that I've made such a declaration, I have much more clarity, and am better equipped to achieve my potential in all facets of life. Anyway, I hope this is helpful. I didn't want to threadjack Jagr's insightful post, but I feel like making a detailed schedule is an excellent way to garner more productive forms of motivation, and to eventually work toward an auto-pilot mode that will help you maximize the benefits of MGTOW philosophy by eliminating distractions.
    I took the unschedule methodology and applied it to David Allen's "Getting things done".
    The unschedule is useful because it does place guilt free fun 1st. I love the GTD because it allows me to not have to remember anything I need to do or want to do in my head. The "what the next action" methodology is magical and the weekly review keeps everything tidy and up to date.

    These 2 things have made my life so much better since adopting them early this year. So nice to have guilt free play and know that I'm not forgetting about any of my obligations.
    "If anyone asks who you are you must always respond with: I am the next decision I make."

    -ShogunRonin

  8. #8

    Re: Conscious Motivation of a MGTOW - Create your Own Flame

    Quote Originally Posted by sluggy1616 View Post
    I took the unschedule methodology and applied it to David Allen's "Getting things done".
    The unschedule is useful because it does place guilt free fun 1st. I love the GTD because it allows me to not have to remember anything I need to do or want to do in my head. The "what the next action" methodology is magical and the weekly review keeps everything tidy and up to date.

    These 2 things have made my life so much better since adopting them early this year. So nice to have guilt free play and know that I'm not forgetting about any of my obligations.
    I'm definitely going to check out GTD. You're so right about the power of not having to remember anything you need or want to do in your head. When you keep all of that stuff swirling around in your head, the anxieties about remembering to do it, and any doubts about getting it accomplished swirl around too. That puts you at a disadvantage before you even start.

    As far as guilt-free play/unscheduling goes, you never truly can enjoy anything if you don't feel like you deserve to be doing it. When I am grooving along with my schedule, I often even forget that the next thing on the list is an "Unschedule" entry. The fact that I forget that a leisure opportunity is next, is evidence that I'm not depressing myself with feeling bad about not being able to do leisure opportunities being that I'm not even thinking about those things. When you leave everything in your head, all of the negative thought patterns have a host to attach themselves to. The default ways of thinking take over in those scenarios, and that is the antithesis of what needs to be happening.


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