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  1. #1
    NewEnglander
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    Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    I don't have time to register right now so I am posting as a guest here, but I suppose this is an acceptable part of the forum because I have a question. I am a white male from the new england part of the usa. Recently I have tried to sit outside with my back leaning against a tree. The first time was at a wooded area with some trails. A woman walking her dog saw me and turned the other direction. Shortly after the police questioned me saying they had reports of suspicious behavior. I told them I was meditating under a tree, and they eventually let me go. I don't know if I was meditating but I was just trying to sit in silence because I have been tired of looking at screens or being active, I wanted to sit outside and rest in nature.

    Then today at around 5 pm I tried a second time to sit outside under a tree except this time I sat by a tree that was right next to the track because I figured that people would be less nervous by a man sitting leaning against a tree if it was more public like next to a track. After about 5 minutes of that a woman asked me if I was okay, she said she was not used to seeing people just sitting outside in the cold, but the weather was actually not cold, it was a relatively warmer day today as far as winters go and that is why I wanted to try sitting outside.

    I am trying to spend less time looking at screens because looking at screens has been giving me sore eyes but it seems that by sitting outside some women may have been nervous by me. I don't know if this is a male/female thing or if this is because I am from new england. The whites in new england are known for being afraid of a lot of things as compared to the other whites in America, I mean I don't know if that's true or not though. So I don't know if it is new england white liberal culture for why I as a man have been having trouble sitting outside leaning my back against a tree or if there is a general female fear of men, or something else.

    And I am not really trying to shame women for this fear if they have it, I am not trying to shame women for being worried by a man sitting outside. But I am just wondering, is there a place in the USA where a man can sit outside without being harassed by either a cop who was called by someone or harassed by a random pedestrian? I just want to be able to unhook my brain from technology and sit outside in nature. I don't want to have to be pressured to be moving around all the time looking busy.

    Do men in other parts of the country experience this or is this just a new england thing?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Eiji's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Next time this happens .. ask the officer how you sitting under a tree -- minding your own biz -- is "hurting" anything

  3. #3

    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Mh. I thought we were still a few years away from a free man relaxing being considered criminal in and of itself...

    In all seriousness, I'm not sure what mental defect the women in your area have that they mentally equate someone relaxing in what I assume is a park or recreational area as a threat. If you want to blend in better, take a notepad as a prop and pretend to be drawing or something - that way you're an "artist". Shouldn't be necessary though. Out here in the Netherlands it's a non-issue, thus far the insanity has been contained to the larger cities in the coastal region. I can take walks just fine without drawing attention - and given my figure, I really should start doing so more often.

    As for where you could go where this would not happen? Alaska comes to mind. But instead of officers, you may have wildlife disturbing your rest there.
    Shame is a womans primary weapon. Watch for it, and call it out wherever you see it. Few women know how to handle a man immune to shame.

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    Member BlueCollar's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Our society is a tyrannical patriarchy, and all men are potential rapists. What would you be doing in a park by yourself other than waiting for a woman or child to rape? This is seriously how women are programmed to think today. You may be invisible in a crowded public place, but on your own you are a threat. You're lucky you didn't get pepper sprayed.

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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    I've been asked to "walk in front" when a trio of particular females felt me presence was somehow threatening. I've also been getting the "look over the shoulder" treatment, though I suppose that is kind of a natural thing to happen, as I do the same when I notice someone behind me. With females this occasionally happens several times which is not normal though.
    So to answer your question: if you're being denied the right to relax outside, all you do is simply take it. As you've done nothing wrong, you need to stand your ground. It is not an acceptable response to bow down to the unreasonable.

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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Most people using the trails out west are hiking or biking. Just hanging around you would stand out. I could see some people being suspicious, though I'm not sure how many would call the law. I reckon you'd be noticed and remembered though, rather they call or not.


    You need somewhere you could throw out a line. Then any idiot could plainly see you was fishing, not stalking.
    Last edited by frog; January 13, 2019 at 6:44 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  7. #7
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewEnglander View Post
    I don't have time to register right now so I am posting as a guest here, but I suppose this is an acceptable part of the forum because I have a question.
    You did right because becoming a member is not a rush project. You'd need to take time to first provide a thoughtful Intro, in conformance with our sticky How To Intro, before you start posting stuff. So, when you go to register, go to the New Member Intros and read that sticky, please.

    And I am not really trying to shame women for this fear if they have it, I am not trying to shame women for being worried by a man sitting outside. But I am just wondering, is there a place in the USA where a man can sit outside without being harassed by either a cop who was called by someone or harassed by a random pedestrian? I just want to be able to unhook my brain from technology and sit outside in nature. I don't want to have to be pressured to be moving around all the time looking busy.

    Do men in other parts of the country experience this or is this just a new england thing?
    I can't see where you are trying to engage women by sitting under a tree. They are choosing to engage themselves, if anything. I could see myself amiably saying to anyone concerned, "I'm giving my eyes a rest from my cell phone and taking in the view, thanks!" And smile.

    That said, in a wooded area along a trail that is not a steady stream of people, you are giving the appearance that you are sitting there in wait for an opportunity to do a passerby some harm and with no witnesses. Don't take it personally, but that is the reality. You've read the news. As a man, I could wonder what you are up to, if I saw you as I was walking towards you. I mean, if you were sitting there and not looking at your cell phone, and not tying your shoes, and not reading a book, and not holding your dog in your lap, and not holding out your arms in some zen position with eyes closed saying OM, but just sitting there looking around, well yeah your innocent intentions are not visible to the observer.

    You then moved to a track so this tells me you know something of what I'm talking about. The woman explained herself quite well for why she was asking you if you needed help.

    How many people do you ever see just sitting there doing nothing, in places where people do not usually sit? How public is your "more public"?

    Did you also notice the number of people who saw you and let you be? What's the ratio of unconcerned versus concerned?

    The way you have described each situation sounds like reasonable things to have happened. Even the cops, for that wooded situation. You're a man, and women have had to keep a heightened awareness of situations. Don't we as MGTOW complain that women need to be proactive about their safety and not walk eyes wide open into situations of danger? So, the fact you notice these are women and not men is part of that.

    In my city, we have parks with benches and open spaces where people can sit and do nothing, and it's the context of the park, the benches, and the open spaces that explains to everyone what someone is doing who is just sitting there, taking in the view. If I sat under a tree next to a sidewalk in my neighborhood, no doubt someone would ask me at my age if I needed help. If you are a young person, you may not know that sometimes people who actually do need help are confused and say nothing to anyone to let them know they are in distress until they are asked and you'd never know this by just looking at them. In our city, assessing the context and asking the person if s/he needs help is a respected thing to do. Someday, that could be me sitting outside in the cold, confused, and somebody better notice me and ask if I need help.

    Perhaps continue to experiment with different trees in different public places until you see the tipping point where the context around you speaks louder than your idle presence there.
    Last edited by Unboxxed; January 13, 2019 at 8:52 PM.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
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    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  8. #8
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    I like sitting under trees and it if is near a trail I turn my back away from the trail. Consider that a gesture of respect to those that walk on the trail to them. I can't clearly see those walking on the trail and they can't clearly see me so we are even steven I like to think.

    But most of the time if I am in a park I prefer looking for a bench near a tree or a pond.

    And bringing a snack with you avoids most of this trouble in my opinion.

    But yeah that is life as a single man when you go out as you will be questioned no matter what venue (park, movie theater, library, etc). The key is to hold firm by being cordial with people. And resolving misunderstandings quickly and with sometimes humor to defuse situations.

    This level of social awareness isn't mastered by anybody quickly but it is something you can improve upon.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Joetech's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Once, I was accused of "lurking" in this woman's neighborhood. She didn't call the police, but she didn't leave until my bus arrived and I got on it. Another time I was driving home from work and this woman made a u-turn in front of me. The way she did it I almost t-boned her. She said something to me as she drove away. The next day, a cop car followed me home. Both incidents involved women and happened in San Diego. Talk about paranoid!
    "Don't follow in my footsteps. I stepped in something."

  10. #10
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Based on the way you typed that story, you got problems, son. That thing read like an emotional powder keg.
    Sitting under a tree is the least of your worries.

    It sounds to me like when you do this, you're giving off nonverbal cues of anxiety. Most people are unable to tell anxiety from someone who is dangerous because criminals usually have a similar behavioural pattern from their adrenaline rush. That is what prompted these people to react this way. The woman that asked you if you were okay probably thought you were in distress.
    Add that to the fact that you chose to type this as a guest and not register as a member.

    Of course, I could be wrong about this whole thing. Who knows?
    If you believe everything you hear is a lie, you have a 100% lie detection rate.
    The opposite holds true but I would rather be surprised by the truth than a lie.

    Women can attack you as much as they want but are you really allowed to fight back? This place seems to think that you aren't.

  11. #11
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Quote Originally Posted by NewEnglander View Post
    After about 5 minutes of that a woman asked me if I was okay,
    I shared your story and my reply with a friend of mine last night. This friend has read up on people who have survived suicide attempts. Specifically, jumping off of bridges. He said there was one guy who was in anguish, leaning over the bridge railing, in despair, when a couple who was walking by asked him something. He was hoping they would ask him if he was okay. He was hoping for that. He later said he would have told him he was not. Instead, they asked him for the time. Upon hearing that, with him ready to jump and all he gets is "What time is it?", he thought to himself well there ya go what is the point of living?

    Clearly the man wanted connection. The couple cannot be expected to read minds and they may have noticed nothing unusual about him but, even if they did notice something about him, perhaps they thought their request for the time would impart an acknowledgement of him without risking that they could be mistaken had they asked anything bolder, but that it could be enough to trigger conversation from him, which in his mind put it all on him to bring it up. If if if that was their thinking, my takeaway from this story is to go the extra verbal step to actually ask if someone is ok.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiji View Post
    Next time this happens .. ask the officer how you sitting under a tree -- minding your own biz -- is "hurting" anything
    There are only a handful of things that are illegal because a victim is involved. The other 200,000 things you can go to jail for are mala prohibita. The government doesn't give a damn if you hurt anyone or not, only that it is able to control you.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Are you okay?

    No. A cougar just ran off with my Chihuahua.

    Oh my God! That's terrible!

    No, it's okay, it's my fourth Chihuahua this month...
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  14. #14
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Are you okay?

    No. I just need to find my meds...

    Oh, where did you last have them?

    Chicago.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  15. #15
    Senior Member Knarley Bob's Avatar
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    I'd really get in trouble. Usually I am IN the tree, cammo head to toe, and armed. (That's if the saw me of course)
    As soon as she says "I do", she don't
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  16. #16
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    Re: Can Men Sit Under Trees?

    Are you okay?

    No, I lost my henway.

    What's a henway?

    About 4 to 6 pounds.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax


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