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  1. #1
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    Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    First off, a brief introduction. I'm a man in my early 50's that has been married for many years. Unfortunately, my wife has developed some health problems and is no longer able to have sex. Leaving the marriage is not a practical option. I am too honest to cheat, so that leaves celibacy. In researching celibacy, this website was discovered. Hopefully, you guys can offer some advice.

    During the celibate periods of my life, I have tended to slip into unhappiness or depression. I've read that some Mgtow are happy living a celibate life. I would appreciate any advice on living a celibate life. Advice on how you guys found happiness in a celibate life would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance!

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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    It's not hard to turn your back on women who never really wanted you. Why bother when your going to end up high and dry anyway? It's not that we like it much, it's just the cost a doing business.

    This is not what you want to hear, but it's all I got. Maybe someone else has something. I'm older than you. Wasn't an incel, but could never pull the ones I wanted. At thirty, it was the end of the world. At your age it still hurt, but things was changing. At sixty it didn't matter much no more. Now I'm pushing seventy, and the lack of female companionship is not even on the first page of things I worry about. Best of luck to you.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    First off, a brief introduction. I'm a man in my early 50's that has been married for many years. Unfortunately, my wife has developed some health problems and is no longer able to have sex. Leaving the marriage is not a practical option. I am too honest to cheat, so that leaves celibacy. In researching celibacy, this website was discovered. Hopefully, you guys can offer some advice.

    During the celibate periods of my life, I have tended to slip into unhappiness or depression. I've read that some Mgtow are happy living a celibate life. I would appreciate any advice on living a celibate life. Advice on how you guys found happiness in a celibate life would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance!
    Red pill MGTOW no longer retain hopes for a girlfriend or wife and that may be the defining difference between you and they. Men Going Their Own Way do not define their happiness, or pursing their happiness, by connectivity to a woman or women which is what seems to be haunting you in your marital celibacy. These men have all walked away from relationships, for various reasons, a motivated choice, and that's very liberating and opens them up to enjoying activities of life that you perhaps have long sublimated or made lower priority for the sake of your relationship. MGTOW have made the choice to get away from women but you indicate this is not an option for you. I suggest that if you got to the point where you saw women as vipers biting at you and your wallet, your response would not be to stick your dick in them.

    Were any of these celibate periods of your life occurring during your marriage, or do you only remember them from a time before you were with her? Is your wife of no help in satisfying you emotionally at this stage of your marriage, to help you with your unhappiness and depression?

    Here is a thread that touches on celibacy. I'll direct you to the post that references a book about it:

    http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow...96/#post145896
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax and register-her.net

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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    First off, a brief introduction. I'm a man in my early 50's that has been married for many years. Unfortunately, my wife has developed some health problems and is no longer able to have sex. Leaving the marriage is not a practical option. I am too honest to cheat, so that leaves celibacy. In researching celibacy, this website was discovered. Hopefully, you guys can offer some advice.

    During the celibate periods of my life, I have tended to slip into unhappiness or depression. I've read that some Mgtow are happy living a celibate life. I would appreciate any advice on living a celibate life. Advice on how you guys found happiness in a celibate life would be most appreciated. Thanks in advance!

    First let me offer my sympathies for your situation.

    I can only speak from my own experience and do not wish to steer you in any particular direction, that choice is yours and yours alone. Celibacy is a big decision and should only be made after weighing all your options very carefully and should not be rushed into because you feel it is the only moral thing to do, but more on that later.

    Finding happiness in a celibate life? Not an easy question to answer in general terms as I’m sure it is different for everyone. In the beginning it will be difficult let’s not pretend otherwise but you may be surprised how quickly these feelings may pass once you are fully committed. Although I would be lying if I said I was never tempted, I now no longer think of sex as something I need or even desire and that temptation is fleeting at most.

    In the early days especially it may be of benefit to keep yourself occupied. Have you any hobbies? If not I suggest trying to find one for yourself, the last thing you want to do is to allow yourself too much time to keep going over the same thoughts time and again as this is likely to lead to the depression you’re trying to avoid.

    Hopefully you’ll quickly realise that your happiness has little to do with sex. Like me you’re in your 50’s so you will probably be aware that you no longer think of sex in the same way you did when you were, say, in your early twenties. Human beings are very good at adapting to new situations, getting rid of pre-conceptions however can take a little longer. Give yourself the time to come to understand the truth – while there are certainly biological drives at play, sex is as important in life as you make it, nothing more.

    As I said earlier, celibacy should not be rushed into. Making sure you have considered all your options with a cool head may be difficult but will definitely make things easier later on as you will not feel the need to keep second guessing yourself – at least not as much.

    Your own health and wellbeing need to be your first priority and understanding this is very important. I appreciate that you are probably very concerned about your wife’s condition and wish to do right by her, but how much use will you be to her if you become ill yourself? Two ill people is not a better option than one ill person.

    To this end you need to be totally honest with yourself. Before making your final decision on complete celibacy you need to weigh all your options carefully and be sure of the reasons for the decisions you make. You see when you say ‘this leaves celibacy’ this indicates to me that maybe you feel circumstances are forcing you to move your life in a direction that you resent and that maybe you have dismissed some of your options.

    You also say that leaving the marriage is not a practical option for you. I have no idea what this means but will accept your word for it, however understand that your own statement says that it is actually an option however unpractical and you should not dismiss it lightly. You may even come to see the single life as a much better way to live.

    You also say you are too honest to cheat. By cheating do you mean having an affair with another woman (or more than one)? If so have you considered the option of prostitution? Some people may be of the opinion that it is not really cheating if there are no emotional ties but merely a series of business transactions for the purpose of relieving stress. Maybe your wife would even be open to this possibility thereby freeing you from the feeling of cheating.

    Lastly I also mentioned the possibility of morality playing a part in your decision. Understand that morality is no more than a set of rules we create for ourselves to guide us in our lives. Your situation has changed dramatically so maybe these rules need to be revisited to see if they still apply, sometimes rules need to be changed to reflect circumstance.

    I will repeat that this decision is yours and yours alone. Whatever path you decide on, I wish you well sir. Good luck on your journey.
    Last edited by Jackoff; September 5, 2019 at 2:27 AM.
    A woman drove me to drink, and I didnít even have the decency to thank her. Ė W. C. Fields

    All we can do is keep ourselves from all those who don't deserve it. Ė Dave Matthes

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    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Celibacy came after the expense.

    When I say "expense" I mean every definition of the word. Spiritual, emotional, and monetary "expense". Being celibate was the only way I was going to heal, otherwise the nightmare women bestow in every imaginable and unimaginable way were well under way to destroying in the above mentioned paradigms. Survival and security brought me to a quiet and peaceful place of abstinence by indifference. Something inside simply died and the will to carry on being a disposable jackass diminished, My standards rose as I saw all the deceit behind the curtains of reality. True and real values grew within me, it was then I realized I'm all alone in a world that values pussy. Your values are amiss, your body craves sex, and your soul refuses to enter into iniquity, it's as simple as making a choice. After the sacrifice, the addiction diminishes, and logic sets in like concrete and you begin to see things unseen in the fog of sex and relationshits.
    It's like I've been down that road and I know it turns to mud axle deep, The road of celibacy is one that leads to a tranquility being clean of all the strife and sadness women bring along inherently, being lost themselves in the lands of promiscuity.

    The contrasts of society have grown exponentially, marriage and dating doesn't sooth the soul or ease the mind, it does the opposite, I'm simply polarized by the reality of these black and white contrasts, whereas before the world was 50 shades of grey! Now it's being filtered, the black from the white, and presto, now I see the colors of life instead of wallowing in the grey mud with mud creatures.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Boar's Avatar
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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    I believe Stoicism will serve you well. There are a lot of good resources, including the primary sources, that can help you work through your situation. I would recommend starting with a book on modern Stoicism, as a lot of web-based materials can be a bit haphazard for forming a foundation.

  7. #7

    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Hello

    it's difficult to give advice with little to no info at disposal. Definitely, I agree with Boar. Stoicism is something to take a look at, since a divorce seems out of question it might help. I personally know a colleague who is the perfect stoic never seen anything like that. Now I would like to ask you a very personal question to which you don't have to answer if you don't want but it might help us to point you into a direction.

    The question is:

    Do you "love" your wife?

    In case yes, then you should know what to do. In the contrary case, well that is a tricky situation. In order to give you helpful advice I would need to know more detailed information that you might not want to give and this I can respect and understand but it is difficult to us giving advice because we know too little about you and your relation to be of any help.

    You are here on a MGTOW forum and we have common ground and knowledge that's why we steered clear of women. I don't know how familiar you are with the MGTOW philosophy but they are a growing number of monks in the MGTOW. One of the many MGTOW content creator is Hammer Hand he is a MGTOW monk and he's practicing celibacy. He was married with kids. maybe you should check him out. He is a genuine guy and I respect him for his character. I exchanged some mail with him. He could give you most probably good advice because he is practicing celibacy, something which I don't. I'd suggest you contact him. watch some of his stuff on YouTube contact him. He helps men whenever he can. I'm sure he can give you some advice.
    All the best.

    p.s. Happiness

    I've re-read your post you were talking about unhappiness and depression. Here I might give you maybe some food for thought.

    Happiness is a state of mind you personally choose to live and embrace. It does not depend on anything then yourself. If you can't be happy on your own how could you possibly give happiness to another person?

    Your happiness does not depend on another person it is something that you embrace and you alone are the only one responsible of your state of mind. No one else. Nothing will ever be able to fill this void you feel if you are not conscious about this tiny little detail, to the contrary what society is telling you.

    We have all bad days and we all have a breaking point it is important to be aware about your own vulnerability and especially understanding what causes the unhappiness and depression. The answers to your questions are all within yourself. I can only advice to do some introspection, you will find everything that is bothering you once you identified the problem you can take action to turn things around. You will be surprised how easily you can defeat depression. Stoicism is a good method. Embracing happiness is another way to defeat depression.

    I came to the conclusion after 57 years on this rock that I'm the one who is responsible for my own life my happiness and my state of mind. I can be happy whenever I want because I choose to do so. When my father died I felt happy. I felt happy for him that he didn't had to suffer anymore. I felt happy because I know that he found his peace. I miss him but I'm happy that he is gone to a better place. It is just an example I'm giving here. Once you understand and absorb the concept of being the sole person in the world that can truely give you what you want everything will fall in the right place. If you seek happiness . . .just be happy . . . what is hindering you to feel happy?

    In any case please try to reflect on what I try to explain. If you make your own happiness depended on anything than yourself you will have a hard time to succeed.
    My best wishes to you Sir
    Last edited by Natural Born MGTOW; September 5, 2019 at 5:42 PM. Reason: added comment
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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    I've been celibate for 8 years now, not by choice, but due to circumstances. Over the years I realized that I don't need sex, don't think about sex, and knowing myself I'd say "no" if some chick offers it to me. I know our stories are vastly different, and I never cared a lot about sex because I found it boring (or never had a kinky girlfriend, hehe). Sure, I've had it, but I don't miss it.

    That was my tiny contribution to the topic. I'm gonna fuck off again. Pun intended.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Unfortunately, my wife has developed some health problems and is no longer able to have sex.
    Sad to hear that she has health problems so profound that she can't even snuggle with you or suck the D occasionally.

    "Health Problems" my ass. If insert-favourite-movie-star met her and showed an interest, all those insurmountable health problems would suddenly become entirely mountable (with the help of a little KY gel).

    I could be wrong. But without more detail on what these problems are, I have to play the odds, and the odds are that she has simply decided to retire from sex. Or at least: from sex with you.

    In any case, as to your predicament:

    • celibacy kinda takes care of itself as a man moves into his 50's
    • for men, the sovereign cure for depression is working out
    • it can be useful to find another interest n life as retirement approaches
    • do not neglect to protect your assets from divorce. Happens all the time. It can happen to you. "I can't have sex any more because health problems" is a red flag.

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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    "Health Problems" my ass.
    Women usually do this when they lose interest in a man. A shame though, since they could choose to be honest and decent about it. They just have to say 'I am not interested anymore'. But obviously you wouldn't get that from the female race, they are pathetic and manipulative in that way.

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    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Oh, you know the male mid-life crisis? It's an aliment that afflicts men when their wives got through menopause. Funny how that works. Suspicious timing.

    Find any late 40-yo with "erectile dysfunction" and put him in bed with an accommodating hottie, and you'll find that his cock works perfectly fine.

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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Find any late 40-yo with "erectile dysfunction" and put him in bed with an accommodating hottie, and you'll find that his cock works perfectly fine.
    Come on man, you know girls just wanna have fun.

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    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Advice on Living a Celibate Life

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    Oh, you know the male mid-life crisis? It's an aliment that afflicts men when their wives got through menopause. Funny how that works. Suspicious timing.

    Find any late 40-yo with "erectile dysfunction" and put him in bed with an accommodating hottie, and you'll find that his cock works perfectly fine.
    Thanks Mr. Wombat! I've been waiting with severe apprehension for my midwife, I mean my "mid-life" crisis!

    Now I'm so relieved that day will never come! (I'm gonna go rub one out).


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