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  1. #41
    Senior Member GabrielKnight's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Hi Darren,

    I think a lot of the guys here understand exactly how you feel because they made the same experiences with women. A lot of men make the same experiences. They get used by women, women lie to them, women cheat on them etc.

    I donīt know how old you are but there are probably more men out there who are in their late twenties who never had a relationship with a woman than one would expect. Not because they are ugly or stupid or bad people. I knew guys who were decent looking (not super-hot but at least average) and intelligent and with manners. And they struggeled hard to get a date with a woman or to get laid.

    I find dating women and searching for "THE ONE" very exhausting and in most cases extremely depressing. It depends on your personality and maybe some guys see it as a challenge and enjoy the chase. I did enjoy it too, to a certain point. But in most cases it became so frustrating and just outright weird that I didnīt really enjoy it. And eventually I reached a point where I had huge problems to summon the motivation to even talk to a woman, because I already knew all the stupid bullshit she was going to say and the mind-numbing psycho-games she was going to play.

    I can totally understand your desire to find "THE ONE". It is so deeply ingrained in us from early childhood on.

    What helped me to deal with the ugly reality of dating women was the realization that I feel pretty shitty and often depressed, whenever I interacted with women and was hoping to get to know her better and maybe find "that special woman" for a realtionship. If I would go out and try to pick up women or go on a dating website, it would really drag me down, because I know all the stupid games women play. I know exactly whatīs waiting for me. The lying, the fake personalities, the double-standards, the endless list of demands from them...

    I really feel depressed and start to have all that negative feeling whenever I spend some time trying to pick up women. All the bullshit they talk, their endless demands, their hyper-inflated ego...when I stay away from them and focus only on my personal interests, my life really becomes much better. I feel more mentally stable, I donīt have all those negative thoughts and the frustration. I can use my energy to do something that is rewarding, whereas women are like black holes: You pour all your time, effort and energy into them and in most cases itīs just gone and you never get anything back.

    Whenever I get this feeling how nice it would be to have that "soulmate", that "special one", I just remember all the occasions when I dated women and I can literally feel how my mood drops in a couple of seconds. And then I realize how trouble-free my life is without them.

    And I can understand your desire to find that ONE.

  2. #42

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    This may sound weird but has anybody figured out a way to prevent yourself from having feelings for women?
    In my opinion, one shouldn't try to prevent themselves from having feelings for women because it's unnatural and repressive. I very much enjoy the attraction I have for women, I enjoy their company, their looks etc.

    However, once you see the truth, you realise that most of what you find attractive often isn't real.

    For example, I noticed a really hot asian girl the other day but I quickly realised that the vast majority of what I found aesthetically pleasing wasn't real, it was how the makeup made her complexion look nicer, the fake eyelashes made her look more feminine and the eye shadow and eyeliner made her eyes stand out more. The colouring in her hair made it look darker and the highlights created an attractive effect. Her lips stood out more due to the lipgloss and really, I couldn't find anything attractive that wasn't manufactured or enhanced in some way. Sometimes their hourglass type figure is due to some kind of hidden clothing to pull everything in to make it look better.

    There may be occasions when you see a woman without makeup that is naturally attractive and I say if you do, enjoy it. I'm yet to see anything like that yet though.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  3. #43

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by jso View Post
    nope, never had that problem.

    then again, I've never applied masculine virtues to women. I've never met a woman worth "catching feelings" over in my life.
    :-) great one, I will remember that :-)

    I think I would put it like this, if you focus on a woman, at the end of your life you will be filled with a deep regret about a wasted life, you will likely be in debt due to her wasteful spending and need for an ever bigger house or worse (or better) divorced broke and living in a studio apartment at the age of 70, focusing on a woman is one sure way to simply throw away your life. When you focus on creating your wealth, at least you have a chance of a happy life, if you do things right and with a bit of luck you do happen to make lots of money then you will be deeply fulfilled, have great self esteem based on your achievements and you will be happy, if you do see the need to have lots of sex along the way, you can hire the most attractive escorts, problem solved, then you get the sex without the hassle, false rape accusations, nagging and legal problems associated with the modern female.

    Number one rule in life, never let a woman define you

  4. #44
    Member SteelEye's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Not being critical of you, just supportive. Your last sentence reminded me , of me. We both must ditch the 'bad associates' , of blue pill buds. Easier said than done. They're EVERYWHERE! And in saying that, I also come to realize that trusted & pragmatic 'red pillars',(yes, spelling correct, they are Pillars of a way of living), are all around me as well. Shamefully, I used to condemn them, if only in my own mind, as being 'selfish', and 'unfeeling'. And who is selfish & unfeeling? The 2 females I was previously married to that took not one of my humble earnings, but robbed both of my savings, at different times and years of my life. They showed NO shame or emotion in doing what I consider worse than than the infidelity they displayed. NO shame or emotion. And our response? Not hate, no. Let me illustrate: There is a human dying of thirst and hunger, sapped and robbed, thrown to the wolves, homeless. Will you help? Of course you would. You & I are that robbed and bankrupt human. Start now giving abundantly to yourself. Remember the story of Ulysses, be determined to not be distracted by the Sirens. Today.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteelEye View Post
    Not being critical of you, just supportive. Your last sentence reminded me , of me. We both must ditch the 'bad associates' , of blue pill buds. Easier said than done. They're EVERYWHERE! And in saying that, I also come to realize that trusted & pragmatic 'red pillars',(yes, spelling correct, they are Pillars of a way of living), are all around me as well. Shamefully, I used to condemn them, if only in my own mind, as being 'selfish', and 'unfeeling'. And who is selfish & unfeeling? The 2 females I was previously married to that took not one of my humble earnings, but robbed both of my savings, at different times and years of my life. They showed NO shame or emotion in doing what I consider worse than than the infidelity they displayed. NO shame or emotion. And our response? Not hate, no. Let me illustrate: There is a human dying of thirst and hunger, sapped and robbed, thrown to the wolves, homeless. Will you help? Of course you would. You & I are that robbed and bankrupt human. Start now giving abundantly to yourself. Remember the story of Ulysses, be determined to not be distracted by the Sirens. Today.
    Hi, SteelEye. I see this is your first post and a good one. I should tell you, though, that, as a new poster that you are, you will need to run, not walk, to the New Member Intros subforum and post a valid Intro there. In that subforum there is a stickie called How To Intro which will guide you into what all to say in your Intro so that we can learn about you. In your case, it will probably mean repeating some of what you wrote above but a good and valid Intro is a requirement of new members. We all had to do one when we joined. If you continue to post without doing a valid Intro, a Moderator will be contacting you. I look forward to reading your Intro, sounds like it will be interesting.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    You're better than any man you outlive.
    - me

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Nuggets's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by GabrielKnight View Post
    I find dating women and searching for "THE ONE" very exhausting and in most cases extremely depressing. It depends on your personality and maybe some guys see it as a challenge and enjoy the chase. I did enjoy it too, to a certain point. But in most cases it became so frustrating and just outright weird that I didnīt really enjoy it. And eventually I reached a point where I had huge problems to summon the motivation to even talk to a woman, because I already knew all the stupid bullshit she was going to say and the mind-numbing psycho-games she was going to play.

    I can totally understand your desire to find "THE ONE". It is so deeply ingrained in us from early childhood on.

    What helped me to deal with the ugly reality of dating women was the realization that I feel pretty shitty and often depressed, whenever I interacted with women and was hoping to get to know her better and maybe find "that special woman" for a realtionship. If I would go out and try to pick up women or go on a dating website, it would really drag me down, because I know all the stupid games women play. I know exactly whatīs waiting for me. The lying, the fake personalities, the double-standards, the endless list of demands from them...

    I really feel depressed and start to have all that negative feeling whenever I spend some time trying to pick up women. All the bullshit they talk, their endless demands, their hyper-inflated ego...when I stay away from them and focus only on my personal interests, my life really becomes much better. I feel more mentally stable, I donīt have all those negative thoughts and the frustration. I can use my energy to do something that is rewarding, whereas women are like black holes: You pour all your time, effort and energy into them and in most cases itīs just gone and you never get anything back.

    Whenever I get this feeling how nice it would be to have that "soulmate", that "special one", I just remember all the occasions when I dated women and I can literally feel how my mood drops in a couple of seconds. And then I realize how trouble-free my life is without them.


    And I can understand your desire to find that ONE.
    QFT. Trying to pick up women is exhausting and depressing for me as well, that's why I put zero effort into it. If they're into me, fine, if not, then I don't want to work and waste my time trying to change their opinions. Men who've been burned by women in the past are really susceptible to those stupid mind games and drama - we're already set up to let women mess with our heads and take it personally. The answer isn't to push forward and get rejected as much as possible so we can get used to it and not care, the answer is to stop giving a shit completely and go with the flow. Every single conversation I've ever had with a woman over the course of my entire life (no exceptions) always has a point of no return where I say something "weird" that she doesn't approve of, giving her the green light to start playing the holier than thou game because I didn't "pass" her dumb shit tests with an A+. It goes for relationships too, there's always an expiration date. I'd rather build and do something constructive with my time. It's insanity to focus on women.

  7. #47

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren View Post
    Hello everybody!

    Just joined and this is my first post, nice meeting you all!

    For the past year i have been taking the red pill when it comes to women. You can say that I am a traditional guy who wants to do right, take things slow, be friends first with women then graduate to a relationship. No games, no manipulation... just be straight up and honest. But i realized after so many years, that has not gotten me anywhere.

    My problem is that my feelings are in the way. I "catch feelings" to early in a relationship setting up myself for disappointment later down the road. Even though i am man enough to walk away when the woman is on BS, i find myself home by myself in pain thinking about all the disappointments I found myself in... because you are trying to do things the straight and honest way and you are still in the loosing end. By doing this, I am loosing time where I should be doing positive things and developing myself.

    I just graduated with a management degree and looking for a job. I don't hate women but i realized that they are a distraction, especially when you have feelings involved. I want to focus on me and my life. Make money where the dreams that i want to fulfill... fulfill them.

    This may sound weird but has anybody figured out a way to prevent yourself from having feelings for women? calm down that innate urge to have sex and to refocus that energy into something positive like making money to better yourself?

    Thanks!

    Hey buddy! Let's break this down.
    Hello everybody!

    Just joined and this is my first post, nice meeting you all!
    For the past year i have been taking the red pill when it comes to women. You can say that I am a traditional guy who wants to do right, take things slow, be friends first with women then graduate to a relationship. No games, no manipulation... just be straight up and honest. But i realized after so many years, that has not gotten me anywhere.
    It will also to continue to get you nowhere. I was raised like you but you need to get rid of that type of thinking. Look at the women in your life. Were any of them "just friends" with a guy before an item? I highly doubt. Once you are friends with a woman then thats it. You are friends forever. I never understood that nonsense of growing into a relationship from a friendship. It has probably happened but in the real world its as rare as finding a $100 bill laying on the ground. Women already size you up when they meet you. Never wait for a woman's approval. Just go for it. If she tells you No then its her loss. All of our emotions are an appetite.Think of it like this. When you are hungry, do you wait for the food to suddenly appear? No. You go and get it from the store or fridge.

    My problem is that my feelings are in the way. I "catch feelings" to early in a relationship setting up myself for disappointment later down the road. Even though i am man enough to walk away when the woman is on BS, i find myself home by myself in pain thinking about all the disappointments I found myself in... because you are trying to do things the straight and honest way and you are still in the loosing end. By doing this, I am loosing time where I should be doing positive things and developing myself.
    I am the same way in a way. I can tell you are a genuine person. Nothing wrong with that. You might be mixing up lust and love by your comment of "catching feelings". In my experience , I would have to actually spend some time with a woman before I catch feelings. I have a hard time trusting because of all the shit I've been though. Never ever go home and think. That's death. Do you think the woman does that for you? I doubt it. She is moving on with her life hanging out with her friends, running errands, fucking some other guy, etc. Don't act like a little teenage virgin by crawling up her ass and obsessing over her.

    I just graduated with a management degree and looking for a job. I don't hate women but i realized that they are a distraction, especially when you have feelings involved. I want to focus on me and my life. Make money where the dreams that i want to fulfill... fulfill them.
    Major congrats on the degree! Don't hate women. Hate is wrong. You have the right attitude otherwise by focusing on you and your dreams.

    This may sound weird but has anybody figured out a way to prevent yourself from having feelings for women? calm down that innate urge to have sex and to refocus that energy into something positive like making money to better yourself?
    You will always have feelings for women. So will I. Its in our DNA and will be to the second we die. Don't deny your attraction to women.

    As for the calm down the urge.......sounds like you need a fleshlight.

  8. #48

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    One of the best methods of remaining in control of your urges is to do strength training or some kind of training that channels your testosterone and excess energy. In other words, build muscle, strength and at the same time you will learn discipline, motivation, commitment and more.

    Some time ago I met a woman and I couldn't figure out why things seemed different with this one and then I realized I hadn't been doing my strength training that week.

    As I said before, you should never deny the attraction you have to women, but you should never let that attraction define or control you. You can channel all of this and more into strength training. Most will advise you lift weights but I prefer isomotion / isometrics.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  9. #49
    Senior Member LastPriory's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    @OP,

    All of the above advice is good.
    For me, what works is this:

    Never leave the house with a loaded nut sack. Reducing your sperm count manually before dealing with
    what life throws at you every day is the best way to keep your head clear and keeps you in charge of yourself first.

    When you "catch feelings", remember this- you can put all your feelings into a plastic grocery bag and
    they will be worth far less than the value of that bag. Men are judged by women on three criteria- Money,
    social status, and penis size. Women don't care how you feel, only whether or not they are in control of your feelings.
    Instead, give women the illusion of control. That way when you take charge later they will be put in their place naturally
    and most importantly- without becoming an enemy. Hold the opportunity out to them to become your asset and never
    allow the reverse or you will be doomed. The art of seduction works for more than just sex and women know it.

    Engage in a good cause which makes a difference for others, requires logic, math, and challenges you to become
    someone your father would be overwhelmed with pride to call his son. Your father wants to brag about you.
    When you give your father bragging rights about your work, it validates all of the sacrifices he made on your behalf.
    Then, when you tell him you're banging waitresses two at a time and aren't ready to settle down he will understand and
    gloat when he plays golf or goes bowling.

    Good first question.
    Can't wait for your intro.
    LP
    Throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams.
    Specialization is for insects. Robert A. Heinlein.

  10. #50
    Senior Member flailer's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Lots of great responses here. But this one is perhaps the best imo.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neo View Post
    In my opinion, one shouldn't try to prevent themselves from having feelings for women because it's unnatural and repressive. I very much enjoy the attraction I have for women, I enjoy their company, their looks etc.

    However, once you see the truth, you realise that most of what you find attractive often isn't real.

    ..

    .

    Who else remembers the 16 rules of poon? Brilliant stuff (not that it needs to be applied at 100% strength, imo)
    lemme find a link... here:
    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-...ments-of-poon/

    NEVER make the woman your mission!!!! NEVER, not even for a second.
    If misery loves company; Happiness requires Bachelorhood

    p.s. i resent being a "senior member" - I'm not that old, or am I?

  11. #51

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    The guys I know love flirting with women

    The women always wear tight dresses and have long hair in their twenties or thirties (the guys drooling at them)

    Me I don't understand
    why does that happen


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