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  1. #1
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    Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Hello everybody!

    Just joined and this is my first post, nice meeting you all!

    For the past year i have been taking the red pill when it comes to women. You can say that I am a traditional guy who wants to do right, take things slow, be friends first with women then graduate to a relationship. No games, no manipulation... just be straight up and honest. But i realized after so many years, that has not gotten me anywhere.

    My problem is that my feelings are in the way. I "catch feelings" to early in a relationship setting up myself for disappointment later down the road. Even though i am man enough to walk away when the woman is on BS, i find myself home by myself in pain thinking about all the disappointments I found myself in... because you are trying to do things the straight and honest way and you are still in the loosing end. By doing this, I am loosing time where I should be doing positive things and developing myself.

    I just graduated with a management degree and looking for a job. I don't hate women but i realized that they are a distraction, especially when you have feelings involved. I want to focus on me and my life. Make money where the dreams that i want to fulfill... fulfill them.

    This may sound weird but has anybody figured out a way to prevent yourself from having feelings for women? calm down that innate urge to have sex and to refocus that energy into something positive like making money to better yourself?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member jso's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    nope, never had that problem.

    then again, I've never applied masculine virtues to women. I've never met a woman worth "catching feelings" over in my life.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Hi and welcome. Just some crazy ideas off the top of my head...stream of consciousness stuff...
    You can keep yourself busy by going ahead and doing those positive things you mentioned to better yourself, as a way to reduce your available time to dwell about sex.
    You can make a list of all of the things you do not like about women. Just don't hate them as that keeps you connected to them. You want to cultivate indifference to powerful distractions, they are like sirens that want you to shipwreck.
    You can think about what things you like about women and deconstruct your reasons. For instance, if you like their beauty, remind yourself that facial make-up is a fašade and you are liking a mirage. Reducing interaction to small basic behaviors is the stuff of comedians and can make you see how pathetic we humans are. LOL. Which reminds me, listen to anything on youtube from Bill Burr. The guy's brilliant. If anything, he can help you see through the fictions that we assign to life, in between the Red Pill comedy.
    Determine what makes you try to make another person fill your time.
    Realize that you are all you have. An entire social structure was fabricated to draw you away from your best interests. Don't get mad, get determined.
    Budget your money and increase the amount you set aside for savings. Review your savings regularly and watch it grow and feel good about it. As your stash increases, your goals become nearer. Know that you are going to make this happen. You have no time for looters.
    When I was younger, I was pavlov'd into thinking every Friday and Saturday night, if I did not hit the town, I was a loser. Once I was able to overcome that and get in touch with what I really wanted to do with my time, I saw that weekends had no such power over me anymore, and believe me it was good. To be released from that unsettled feeling was the best. Like zen. I look back and shake my head.
    Stay the F away from Blue Pill guys and those stupid TV sitcoms where people sit around and flirt.
    For heaven's sake, do not believe in "cool". Figure out what I mean in any way that works for you. This will serve you in many ways.
    Find a hobby or activity you really like.
    This list sounds crazy, I know, but take what you need, discard the rest.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    You're better than any man you outlive.
    - me

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

  4. #4
    Senior Member GabrielKnight's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    The less thoughts you spend on women, the less you will become attached to them.
    I had phases in my live where I didn┤t have a girlfriend...long phases...sometimes I was suffering, especially when I was younger. Then there were phases, where I was totally occupied with work and I was happy, when I found the time to go to the gym or sit in a cafe and enjoy a coffee or a good meal.

    When you have a hobby, something that consumes most of your thoughts and your time when you are not working, this will decrease the amount of attachment too. You can experience lots of joy and excitement without women....or maybe even because there is no woman in your life who spoild all the fun and who demands your time.

    Having goals will also help to distract you and help you to focus on other things. This could be learning something that will be helpfull for your job, a new home or renovating and buying furniture for your current home. These are things that will make your life better and it will give you a feeling of accomplishment after you reached a goal.

    Selfreflection is important, in my opinion: What drives you towards women? Is it the sex? If that is the case, how many times have you really feel satisfied and happy during or after sex with a woman? Is that satisfaction a reality for you or maybe just wishful thinking in many cases? And how big are the chances in your opinion to meet a woman who is sexually compatible with you?

    Maybe you enjoy the "companionship" with women...or so you think. When was the last time, you had a really good time with a woman? A whole day without her demanding things from you, without nagging or complaining? Are you able to spend time with yourself and enjoy time on your own? Do you know the feeling of that "perfect day", when you spent the whole day, doing things you like, without having to ask for permission?

    The money issue: When you think back and remember the times when you went out with a woman, how much money did you spend on average? Did you have to pay her diner or for the movies? Imagine how much money goes out of the window because you need fancy clothes to impress the ladies. Or maybe you would be perfectly happy with a small car, that is not a chick-magnet but makes a lot of sense financially?

    I don┤t want to be blunt, but sometimes just jerking off can make a lot of your romantic phantasies of that "female soulmate" just disappear into thin air. I tried that once, when I was thinking about calling a woman I knew to spend some time with her and have sex. After I relieved myself I suddenly had better things to do than waste a whole evening with her, just to have sex.

    Just my personal opinions and observations. Your mileage may vary. Experiment and most important: Get to know yourself.
    Last edited by GabrielKnight; March 29, 2014 at 10:35 PM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Fully Completely's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Yes age is a big factor. There were times in my thirties and mid forties where I thought
    I had to find a wife ASAP. However any snap decisions I have ever made in the past were
    poor ones. I could have easily pursued marriage on more than one occasion, but gladly
    listened to my gut feeling. There were red flags plus I was just not ready on an
    emotional level as well as on a business level ( where I was at that point in time with my
    machine shop business )

    I think the advise above is mostly good. The fact that I run a shop plus have lots of
    complimentary hobbies eased my way. The few bouts of extreme anxiety I have had
    were very short lived. I will never use escorts or pay for sex, totally against my morals
    and just leads to more trouble.

    Staying away from blue pillars is best. Anyone that puts emphasis on sex and marriage
    I consider bad association.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Fully Completely's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Stay away from places like the link below and if you must go to the beach or aqua park be prepared to see some butt crack. Better be prepared than not..
    https://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=aI_h1VUvIIQ
    Also read through a couple intros here, you'll pipe down in a hurry.
    Last edited by Fully Completely; March 30, 2014 at 2:05 AM.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Darth Sin's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Hey Darren,

    Your thoughts, your feelings and your emotions about women are due to one thing :- Hormones. You are young and raging hormones is part of youth.

    As such, you need to learn to control. Learn to control your hormones so that they do not control you.

    How to control them ? For one thing, engage in activities that women won't and most likely will never do. Learn to think. Learn to reflect. Learn to be logical.

    Additionally, understand a few things. Firstly, women are cunning emotional vampires. Show any and they will suck it off and use it to manipulate you. Secondly, understand that your feelings can be washed away by engaging in activities that involve exertion of emotions such as kickboxing. Or even masturbation.

    When it comes to focus, the only way your are going to take your focus away from women is to design your lifestyle and your principles to transcend them. Never put your interests behind that of women. Your life should be about you achieving your goals and doing what you like. If women approach you, hold fast, hold the line and tell them point blank that you have no interest. Learn to be immune to shaming tactics because you will get a lot of this. Don''t go out on dates, no matter if it is a social or friendly date. If you have to go out with women or meet them, have a guy around to take the attention away from you.
    Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.

  8. #8

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Let me give you an interesting challenge: When you're doing something you enjoy, if possible, have porn on in the background. This'll give you 2 benefits.

    1: While having that on in the background, it encourages your natural urges and you'll naturally strive to do better [tricking your brain into impressing a theoretical girl who doesn't exist.]

    2: You're learning how to focus on what YOU enjoy even in the midst of what you'd consider physical perfection [or close to] if you can learn to do that, the girls you'll meet day to day won't so much as even exist in your world. Congratulations! You've overcome yourself and are a much better person for it.

    It may be difficult at first, and may very well lead to masturbation. That's perfectly fine. So long as it's in a controlled environment you'll eventually be able to handle it. So long as you learn to focus on YOU even with peak female bodies around you, you win. And boy will you win!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Octavian's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren View Post
    Hello everybody!

    Just joined and this is my first post, nice meeting you all!

    For the past year i have been taking the red pill when it comes to women. You can say that I am a traditional guy who wants to do right, take things slow, be friends first with women then graduate to a relationship. No games, no manipulation... just be straight up and honest. But i realized after so many years, that has not gotten me anywhere.

    My problem is that my feelings are in the way. I "catch feelings" to early in a relationship setting up myself for disappointment later down the road. Even though i am man enough to walk away when the woman is on BS, i find myself home by myself in pain thinking about all the disappointments I found myself in... because you are trying to do things the straight and honest way and you are still in the loosing end. By doing this, I am loosing time where I should be doing positive things and developing myself.

    I just graduated with a management degree and looking for a job. I don't hate women but i realized that they are a distraction, especially when you have feelings involved. I want to focus on me and my life. Make money where the dreams that i want to fulfill... fulfill them.

    This may sound weird but has anybody figured out a way to prevent yourself from having feelings for women? calm down that innate urge to have sex and to refocus that energy into something positive like making money to better yourself?

    Thanks!
    Sorry. The Easy Button is NOT capable of neutralizing sexual or intimate desire. Please do NOT call the manufacturer for service advice!

    Now that the disclaimers are done, I'll just say this- there is no magic bullet , or super pill you can pop to keep your head in the game. There will always be the risk at any time that you'll meet the WRONG piece of ass, and that she'll ruin your life and your future.

    My words of advice are thus- one, know when to fold your cards. If you have a weakness for half Asian redheads, get the fuck outta the room when one shows herself in your presence.

    Be willing to lie. No way around that one. You're a young, unattached male with a management degree and a job. Somewhere, likely right now, there's a female with your wallet in her gunsights. She will do whatever it takes to seize your money , your life, and your future for her own ends. You'll need the same resolve, and sometimes that means inventing a girlfriend or two .

    Three: don't deny who you are. You're a healthy man who likes and needs pussy. Despite what many authorities would say, that's an entirely healthy and good thing. Don't buy into the social hype that your sexuality is illegal or an affront, because self denial becomes a chain on your neck once Homegirl emotionally enables desires you've been unconsciously suppressing .

    Lastly. Choose your women. Don't let them choose you. What I mean by that, is pick your girls out and bang them in a time and place where it suits YOUR interests... and not THEIRS. Being in management, im sure you understand the economic principle that there is no free lunch. If a girls showing interest in you, you'd best know why before you bang her.

  10. #10
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Thank you unboxxed


    I started to do some of the things you mentioned. My problem is the drive to do those things... meaning getting up every morning and eager to do positive and fruitful things with my life. I'm not the party type and i don't do illegal stuff which is great already. Is just that I don't have the passion and the drive to do the things that I would like to do even though I have a lot of ideas and plans I would like to strat and deal with. Even when I do start a bit, i tend to drop off then restart again. I just keep finding myself thinking about the disappointments I've had with females, wondering what next to do realizing how vulnurable I am and feeling alone. Watching porn and jerking off is normal for me now, which i want to stop and focus doing something positive insead. Glad to hear that you have broken the chains of partying on weekends, that is a BIG plus. I will check up on Bill Burr. Yes i am able to recognize blue pill guys more and more so i stay away from them. I also don't watch those sitcoms where guys are seen as fools by women. Some of my friends are blue pill guys, i just keep it coordial with them.

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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    GabrielKnight i have something to admit,


    The following sounds beta male but i have to acknowledge it in order to know how to get over this. Answering your question about what drives me to women, I never had a girlfriend. I don't know what is like for a girl to be by your side to love, appreciate, support and to be there for you. I don't know what is it like for a woman to help you become a better version of yourself. It's not that I go after bad women (women who have multiple children, sleep around, bad behaviour), i keep the hell away from them, i keep away from single mothers period. The ones that I like and have honest feelings for are on games. I think the reason I go after women is because i am looking for that ONE and ONLY to have those experiences which I never had but again, never worked out. The first girl I liked and was going after used me as a venting tool when things not working out for her, so i dropped her. The 2nd girl I liked also had feelings for me, but was dating a guy behind my back while leading me on leaving me to think I was the only guy in the picture and something serious was happening. I was a "plan B" you can say. When i dropped her, she justified her behaviour by telling a friend that I am lazy and have no ambition even though she knows fully well that I work hard when we were doing a degree together and I am making an effort to get a job or opening a business. The third girl liked me a bit but because she is a "doctor" and i just graduated from school, even though again i'm trying to get a job or opening a business, in her mind i am unemployed and have nothing to offer therefore i am a big risk so she wrote me off. Off course she didn't tell me this to my face but i read between the lines.


    I do remember the unecessary money i spent, i never went overboard but there was some wastage nontheless. Yes i am happy that I have to ask nobody for permession. I am glad for my own time. The issue is that i use my own time focusing on the negative.

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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Hello Fully Completely,


    I am actually immune to the idea of "looking to get married". When i see guys in their 20s getting married I actually laugh at them asking myself "what are they thinking?". It's bad i know but i can't help it since i know marriages begin to break down after the 3rd year. I am waiting to hear the bad news from the male friends who made that mistake. If a guy is getting married in his late 30's going into his 40's, I actually have more respect for that dude.


    Glad that you are running your shop and have hobbies to keep you occupied. I just need to find the drive and passion to do the same. I am assuming you are single. If you don't have a chic, and you don't belive in escorts which I respect, besdies jerking off how do you control your urges?

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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Hello Darth Sin,


    I agree with you 100% plus tax that women are cunning emotional vampires. Even though I have an idea, i have to fully figure out how to avoid or pre-emt a woman when she starts that BS so I would not be dragged into it to be manipulated.


    Yes I do have to design my lifestyle in that way. The question is how to do so in able to transcend. Yes i do have control of my hormones where I don't go around sleeping with women. Thank goodness i am still single with no children. I just have to learn to put myself first and not be busy hoping and looking for "The One" chic that would make everything alright. I realized that i don't need anyone to bring happiness into your life. I am suppose to bring happiness into my own life.

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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Thank you unboxxed.


    I started to do some of the things you mentioned. My problem is the drive to do those things... meaning getting up every morning and eager to do positive and fruitful things with my life. I'm not the party type and i don't do illegal stuff which is great already. Is just that I don't have the passion and the drive to do the things that I would like to do even though I have a lot of ideas and plans I would like to strat and deal with. Even when I do start a bit, i tend to drop off then restart again. I just keep finding myself thinking about the disappointments I've had with females, wondering what next to do realizing how vulnurable I am and feeling alone. Watching porn and jerking off is normal for me now, which i want to stop and focus doing something positive insead. Glad to hear that you have broken the chains of partying on weekends, that is a BIG plus. I will check up on Bill Burr. Yes i am able to recognize blue pill guys more and more so i stay away from them. I also don't watch those sitcoms where guys are seen as fools by women. Some of my friends are blue pill guys, i just keep it coordial with them.

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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Thank you unboxxed.


    I started to do some of the things you mentioned. My problem is the drive to do those things... meaning getting up every morning and eager to do positive and fruitful things with my life. I'm not the party type and i don't do illegal stuff which is great already. Is just that I don't have the passion and the drive to do the things that I would like to do even though I have a lot of ideas and plans I would like to strat and deal with. Even when I do start a bit, i tend to drop off then restart again. I just keep finding myself thinking about the disappointments I've had with females, wondering what next to do realizing how vulnurable I am and feeling alone. Watching porn and jerking off is normal for me now, which i want to stop and focus doing something positive insead. Glad to hear that you have broken the chains of partying on weekends, that is a BIG plus. I will check up on Bill Burr. Yes i am able to recognize blue pill guys more and more so i stay away from them. I also don't watch those sitcoms where guys are seen as fools by women. Some of my friends are blue pill guys, i just keep it coordial with them.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Fully Completely's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren View Post
    Hello Fully Completely,


    I am actually immune to the idea of "looking to get married". When i see guys in their 20s getting married I actually laugh at them asking myself "what are they thinking?". It's bad i know but i can't help it since i know marriages begin to break down after the 3rd year. I am waiting to hear the bad news from the male friends who made that mistake. If a guy is getting married in his late 30's going into his 40's, I actually have more respect for that dude.


    Glad that you are running your shop and have hobbies to keep you occupied. I just need to find the drive and passion to do the same. I am assuming you are single. If you don't have a chic, and you don't belive in escorts which I respect, besdies jerking off how do you control your urges?
    My situation is complex Darren, was orphaned at 15, an uncle ran the succession for a while till I was 18 when I took over the shop. I've always suffered from anxiety and have an OCD type personality so I was perfectly suited for the
    entrepreneur lifestyle. That and have always been a lone wolf. I had my first girl at 21, was just a fling for sex and hated myself for it. Couple years later met another one that I was more attracted to but we parted ways after dating a few months, not much happened. She was busy in college and myself upgrading the shop equipment. I got real sex in my early thirties from an experienced girl but she used me for a while until she found a job. Met her a year later, roles were reversed, I was no longer interested as I had feelings for a customer's daughter, but that didn't happen. I did miss many opportunities between the first and the second but was not ready to commit and knew deep down I never wanted kids.

    Suffering from anxiety can wreak havoc on your sex drive and was probably impotent to some degree by the second girl. But the experienced one mentioned earlier was so shapely and sexy that I even surprised myself. From then on I was hooked and even developed a sex addiction that took years to master. ( no pun intended hehe ) I had a couple short term relationships after, last one being in '99 which was 6+ months. Thing is she had a good degree in pharmacy, the fit was good but had no love for her except the sex and bailed because. Have been looking for my soul mate since but at 50 you
    tend to wise up. I now have considerable assets, no debt etc. that I am sure would not of happened had I of gotten married ?

  17. #17

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    This may sound weird but has anybody figured out a way to prevent yourself from having feelings for women?
    And this is when I question whether I'm just a cold and unfeeling person because I don't even have strong feelings for my immediate family. Perhaps that made it easier to accept the red pill and go my own way, since I see things from a disassociated perspective.

  18. #18

    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Porn, video games, martial arts, adventure sports, anything that gets the natural aggression out and controls the testosterone.

    Believe me, the inevitable alternative is simply not worth the trouble - divorce, financial and emotional destruction.

    What people tend to forget - men in particular it seems, as they always have much more to lose - is that most relation$hits in our contemporary society end at some point. They may last quite a long time before doing so - "grey divorce" is huge at the moment. But most usually end or at least they start to fester and decay after the first few years.

    I married young and divorced relatively young. The first five years were OK, most of the time. The final five years were a living nightmare. I have recovered financially, but mentally and emotionally, I have not. It was an extremely traumatic and stressful experience that changed who I am now.

    And that all happened eight years ago. Time may heal the wounds, but the scars will always remain. Which is why I will never marry again. I will never cohabitate again. I will never have children. And as a consequence, a woman and society in general will miss out as well.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Fully Completely's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Yeah was TOTALY into mountain biking, skiing, bodybuilding, etc. to get aggression out.
    Such a calm feeling after.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Women are a distraction - How to focus away from women and make money?

    Quote Originally Posted by Darth Sin View Post
    When it comes to focus, the only way your are going to take your focus away from women is to design your lifestyle and your principles to transcend them.
    Boy, that says it. Can you just see the deliverance available to a man who follows that?
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    You're better than any man you outlive.
    - me

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.


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