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  1. #1
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Wedding cancelled....

    Video about the post found here.

    Archived Reddit post here.

    My [27f] fiance[30m] and I just had a terrible fight over sex and now I'm not even sure we're getting married anymore
    submitted 22 hours ago by throwaway18319828123

    I'm sorry if this is going to sound panicked and frantic but we just had this fight barely 12 hours ago and I'm still frayed and terrified.
    My fiance and I are planning to have a wedding this upcoming Saturday. We have invited nearly a hundred people. We've planned this wedding for months and months and everything is looking to be perfect.
    Yesterday in the afternoon my fiance started "making moves" on me, where his mood was clear that he wanted to have sex. I told him that I wasn't exactly in the mood and he got irritated because we hadn't had sex for a while and he felt like I wasn't satisfying his needs. I told him that I'm just not a super high libido sexual person, and he immediately said "yeah, a woman who has had sex with over 100 men is definitely low libido." I was absolutely stunned and demanded he apologize on the spot. Instead he doubled down and said that I'm a clearly sexual person, but "just not for him."
    He has had insecurity and low self confidence issues before in regards to this.
    This caused me to get angry because I told him all of that stuff about my past relationships because I trusted him and I didn't want it thrown in my face. When I told him that those sexual encounters happened when I was younger, he yelled at me in a way that I have never heard (hoarse, cracking, and so loud the neighbors could hear it voice) and told me that if I was so against the idea of sex now that he would almost never "get it" after marriage.
    He then shook his head, shouted "fuck all of this" in the same voice, and walked out the door. I got a call from the venue two hours later asking if they had heard right that we were canceling the ceremony and reminded me that the deposit we put in could not be returned.
    I'm torn and confused. What do I even do in this situation? Who do I call? He's not answering my calls, and I don't know how to bring anything like this up with friends or family. 12 hours ago I was so happy because I was getting married to a guy I'm in love with, and now my future is crashing around me and it's all because I wasn't in the mood for sex.
    tl;dr: how do I deal with an insecure fiance who needs sex to feel loved?

    Some of the comments from the archive...

    Most of the comments i read were judging her about the 100 men though. It would be concerning for all genders to suddenly lose interest in sex. But it can be due to many different things and has nothing to do with the sexual past of the person. Unless there was a sexual assault previously of course.
    Your'e inferring that anyone who is uncomfortable with someone elses expression of their sexuality is by correlation insecure with their own.
    That's totally bullshit. People don't have to agree with each other, or approve of each other, or even like the things other people do. When we're talking about relationships and sexuality, that's about the one area where a lot of judgmental assholes need to step off.
    If this guy made a mistake, it's pretty clear that it was in trying to be "okay" with something he clearly wasn't. Probably because of the inane pressure he received from people like yourself who said his feelings were invalid or made him "fragile" or "insecure".
    Best comment on the Youtube video...


    Activate Kruger
    I lost my virginity at 19. I found it again when I got married.

    ~Every married guy
    Some very telling comments from the girl here...

    My body is not a commodity.
    Sex is not something that I "give" to men.
    Sex is something that I choose to have with them.
    Neither is his.
    You're not entitled to marriage with him.
    In the 1 in million chance he's reading this run don't walk away.
    ...I chose to give my fiance my hand and heart in marriage. Isn't that enough?

    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  2. #2
    Senior Member Opaque's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    It's quite astounding that women go into relationships expecting that a man would have no qualms about being refused sex. If I am in a romantic relationship with a women, I want to have my needs satisfied and met; why is that such a hard thing to comprehend?

  3. #3

    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Exactly Opaque. You don't marry to remain a bloody incel.

    I chose to give my fiance my hand and heart in marriage. Isn't that enough?
    I chose not to give her my wallet - because my hand and heart are enough. Right?
    Last edited by AeternusDoleo; December 4, 2018 at 7:21 AM.
    Shame is a womans primary weapon. Watch for it, and call it out wherever you see it. Few women know how to handle a man immune to shame.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Aintdealingwithyoshit's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....



    But ... she dindu nuffin, she a gud gurl!
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Solution for the rapefugee crisis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTYkcnJdDio
    Politicians? Oh, you mean ​lamppost ornaments!

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Women and men are different. Women slot people into roles - this person is my husband, this other person is my work mentor, this other person is for fucking. Men, otoh, expect and want their woman to be their everything.

    In other words, the whole "men have a madonna/whore complex" is projection. It's actually women who have a husband/fuckboy complex.

    It's good that one dude, at least, escaped the noose. You can tell by what her was saying that he's been reading up on the topic.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Aintdealingwithyoshit's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    Women and men are different. Women slot people into roles - this person is my husband, this other person is my work mentor, this other person is for fucking. Men, otoh, expect and want their woman to be their everything.

    In other words, the whole "men have a madonna/whore complex" is projection. It's actually women who have a husband/fuckboy complex.

    It's good that one dude, at least, escaped the noose. You can tell by what her was saying that he's been reading up on the topic.
    It's not _entirely_ bogus in that men usually do want a "kinky" partner in bed and the argument there is that a woman with more sexual encounters therefore has also figured out how to please men the best. That said, there's nothing stopping a virgin or low partner count woman from reading up on the matter and trying out new things, so the argument that a woman "needs" to have experience is quite shaky.
    Solution for the rapefugee crisis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTYkcnJdDio
    Politicians? Oh, you mean ​lamppost ornaments!

  7. #7

    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    yep, I know that song and dance. Women use sex to get you interested once there they turn it off. Have two divorces directly related to that issue.

    Hope the guy did not back down and canceled the marriage.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Who else finds this disturbing?

    My fiance and I are planning to have a wedding this upcoming Saturday. We have invited nearly a hundred people.
    ...had sex with over 100 men
    Or as someone else elegantly put it...

    I'm sure hoping the fuck count and wedding attendees numbers are a coincidence.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  9. #9
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    This is one of those things that cant be measured, yet shows times are changing.


    A few years ago this story would of had a hundred women and SJW's running to this woman's defense, with maybe one Sid down in the corner claiming BS. Today it's flipped, with comments running ten to one that she's getting no more than she deserves.


    I don't think there's any women or SJW's that have changed their minds. They'll go down with the ship hating every one of us. So they haven't changed their thinking, yet they have mostly quit arguing. I'd say this is a sign that they are beginning to realize their shaming tactics aren't working anymore. That being about all the ammo they got, they have decided to quit arguing with MGTOW's. They've taken their ball and went home, like a kid who didn't get what they want.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  10. #10
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    She ignored the early-warning signs:

    "He has had insecurity and low self confidence issues before in regards to this."

    Marriage doesn't magically fix people's personal faults. It magnifies them.

    She ought to thank God this happened before the wedding, not after.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by kru-kut View Post
    She ignored the early-warning signs:

    "He has had insecurity and low self confidence issues before in regards to this."

    Marriage doesn't magically fix people's personal faults. It magnifies them.

    She ought to thank God this happened before the wedding, not after.
    Her definition of insecurity is a man that isn't ok with a woman that's been with 100 men.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  12. #12
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by Neo View Post
    Her definition of insecurity is a man that isn't ok with a woman that's been with 100 men.
    ...which is fine with me since I'm totally removed from the situation. But my point was that something about him was wrong for her, personally -- irrespective of her past and irrespective of her morality and/or value system -- and she knew it beforehand, so she should've put the brakes on the relationship and bailed long before this happened. There's no way the problem (again, from her perspective) was going to magically go away.

    And if she'd been with that many guys and he'd had a problem with it all along, then what was he doing planning to marry her? Why didn't he bail the moment he found out, instead of letting it fester in the back of his mind during the engagement? That just makes no sense to me.

  13. #13
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by kru-kut View Post
    ...which is fine with me since I'm totally removed from the situation. But my point was that something about him was wrong for her, personally -- irrespective of her past and irrespective of her morality and/or value system -- and she knew it beforehand, so she should've put the brakes on the relationship and bailed long before this happened. There's no way the problem (again, from her perspective) was going to magically go away.

    And if she'd been with that many guys and he'd had a problem with it all along, then what was he doing planning to marry her? Why didn't he bail the moment he found out, instead of letting it fester in the back of his mind during the engagement? That just makes no sense to me.
    She cares nothing for his shortcomings. Not being a Chad, he's a loser in her eyes to begin with, and nothing short of a winning lottery ticket can change that. But she wants her big wedding day, and the cash and prizes the following divorce will provide. Since Chad's not interested, some beta chump will have to do. His faults don't matter, cause she'll be dumping him anyway. She probably believes she'll be a good wife, but it'll soon become too much trouble.
    Last edited by frog; December 4, 2018 at 7:27 PM.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  14. #14

    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    I'd say this is a sign that they are beginning to realize their shaming tactics aren't working anymore. That being about all the ammo they got, they have decided to quit arguing with MGTOW's.
    What other ammo do they have besides the stick of shame and the carrot of sex? They've already lost the carrot, and the stick ain't working against a thick hide of pride and selfvalidation.
    Shame is a womans primary weapon. Watch for it, and call it out wherever you see it. Few women know how to handle a man immune to shame.

  15. #15
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by AeternusDoleo View Post
    What other ammo do they have besides the stick of shame and the carrot of sex? They've already lost the carrot, and the stick ain't working against a thick hide of pride and selfvalidation.
    They still have many allies. I ought to know, I fell for most of them. There's tradition, movies, TV, the recording industry, John Wayne, Walt Disney and who knows what else. A guys surrounded by trade con shills from the cradle to the grave. Now when you get old you could care less what anybody thinks. But when your young and dumb its hard not to buy at least some of the crap. It's a wonder all us old guys ain't robots.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Knarley Bob's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by AeternusDoleo View Post
    What other ammo do they have besides the stick of shame and the carrot of sex? They've already lost the carrot, and the stick ain't working against a thick hide of pride and selfvalidation.
    One has to understand, the carrot NEVER gets any closer. And he's right, after the wedding he'd be MONK.
    Good thing HE got the lowdown before the wedding.
    As soon as she says "I do", she don't
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  17. #17
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by Knarley Bob View Post
    One has to understand, the carrot NEVER gets any closer. And he's right, after the wedding he'd be MONK.
    Good thing HE got the lowdown before the wedding.
    I don't know how men can be so dumb, but we are. We never think it can happen to us, until it does. Some don't even learn then. It must be hard wired into us somehow.

    I'd like to think this was real, but it sounds a little too good to be true. So I'm putting it with nice stories for now.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Neo's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Quote Originally Posted by frog View Post
    I don't know how men can be so dumb, but we are. We never think it can happen to us, until it does. Some don't even learn then. It must be hard wired into us somehow.

    I'd like to think this was real, but it sounds a little too good to be true. So I'm putting it with nice stories for now.
    I did wonder the same. But I know a woman that had a bf, but was always on the hunt for an upgrade behind his back. One day I heard an announcement that they were getting married. It was an expensive wedding overseas in some tropical country. Hundreds of guests, expensive food, her entire family, and his, friends and everything.

    Just before the wedding day, the guy hopped on a plane and was never seen again.
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

  19. #19
    Senior Member Opaque's Avatar
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    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    I'd say this is a sign that they are beginning to realize their shaming tactics aren't working anymore. That being about all the ammo they got, they have decided to quit arguing with MGTOW's. They've taken their ball and went home, like a kid who didn't get what they want.
    I think what is more likely is that they realise that men are beginning to notice their manipulation. Once men realise female manipulation, they begin to understand that everything they have learned about courtship is bullshit.

    So SJW's and women change the coat they wear. Now you see in the popular magazines and such that gentlemanliness is making a comeback; and they aren't asking for marriage; but 'companionship' (which basically means spend time and comfort me; but you don't have to spend so much money on me).

    And they also talk about 'experience'. Let's date and be companions as an 'experience'; for the fun of life and so forth...

    And yea it's basically manipulation in a different way.

  20. #20

    Re: Wedding cancelled....

    Wow. So popular culture is basically changing into PUA heaven? *slow clap* Well done feminism...
    Shame is a womans primary weapon. Watch for it, and call it out wherever you see it. Few women know how to handle a man immune to shame.


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