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  1. #1
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    I am writing here for a few reason but, reason number one is that I am among other MGTOWs and wish to share some personal observations with an already illuminated ear.

    A brief recap of my bio to help with the tone and setting:

    Iím a 39yo caucasion hetero male currently living in the US midwest. I discovered The Red Pill, with enormous introspection and searching for answers, in 2012 after trying to captain save a ho some cupcake and her kids.

    I posted on this site regularly while consuming as many Red Pills as I could, instead of reaching out to the Blue Pilled population that surrounds me physically. We all know how incredibly near-impossible it is to carry our true opinions on such matters over to real life conversations, in the flesh. Itís more socially acceptable for me to dress in drag and sexually identify as an ice cream cone than it is to point out how everyone you know is willfully enslaving themselves and living one giant perverted lied by worshiping the va jay jay...I digress...

    To me, just some woke af, middle aged, working class, supernova-ing, used up, borderline former alpha, shit has gone sideways. I mean, I present myself visually in public as typical but, Lord knows my mind and body are on the brink.

    Iíve tried making sense of this life where everyone on the outside sees me for someone that is directly opposite than who I am. Perception is a very powerful tool. I use it to ghost and maintain employment like a woman wears makeup. We all do to an extent.

    I get called crazy, a loner, a weirdo, a serial killer, a mental midget, psycholoically damaged, dangerous, evil, ect for not falling in line with how I am supposed to react or what I say.

    I say what I think most of the time, which creates drama, most of the time. Are we just supposed spew out the expected response to keep the water calm? Well, if Iím expected to do or say anything, that doesnít exactly keep my water calm, so Iíll say what I want. I am not afraid of any man. But, women? OMFG! Women!!

    Iím laying in bed right now, late afternoon, the sun is going down, my social anxiety eases as the sun sets. Day 2 of my usual 3-day weekend. No music, no lights, the tv has been unplugged for months again. Solitude.

    I believe that men gain strength in solitude. It works for me anyways. Lately Iíve been needing that extra peace just to walk out the front door. Itís not just a door though. Itís more like a gateway to hell now.

    Another car door slams outside...I roll over and check through the binds. Itís not the Sheriff...yet...

    I used to love going outside, I mean, I still do but, my dogs have been dead for a while, traffic is seemingly non stop on this road now. Some more of my neighbor are weary of ďthat guyĒ that lives in ďthat houseĒ...I sucks to walk out the door now, it just sucks...

    Iím supposedly a dad now, after my falling off the wagon last winter. Iíll admit that the last pic I saw, the boy looks like both of my brothers and myself combined with her eyes...Iím in a state of limbo surrounded by shit coming at me sideways...Iím going to enjoy the warmth of these bed covers in solitude while I can and keep pressing myself for a solution...

    I know of a couple. But, sometimes, most of the time, itís best not to react too quickly...So, until I am properly served that summons, Iím not going to do anything but entertain ideas and ideals...

    I recently visited Phoenix AZ to visit some friends and their kids. Met some good people, even had a couple of job offers. It was a great feeling getting out of my self induced bubble of misery for a week...A week doesnít even quantify as a second anymore though, as Iím pushing 40 yrs old...

    While I was there, I even sampled some social interaction experiments with a few women...Repulsed one, intrigued another, annoyed a couple, and seduced two more...Just treated them all as objects for my personal entertainment, like any ole sociopath would do...

    I did this last night, out of pure boredom, at a local bar. Iím not a big drinker and the intact full case of expired (2012) beer in my fridge can testify to that...I didnít even shower yesterday. All I did was wake up around 4pm, get out of bed at 6pm, put on some clothes and went to buy breakfast: 3 Chicago style hotdogs w/ everything and a large Mountain Dew w/ light ice...Ate at the park by the river in my redneck styled Hemi-powered pick em up truck, then went for drive...

    I ended up at a bar by myself looking to sneak some glances and some more small talk with the slightly interested blonde bartender. She wasnít there tho, but a different piece of ass was and holy f-in shit she was like a virgin to my game...

    I spun this broadís hampter to warp speed in no time thanks to a little friendly racism and some notions of mutual self hating misery that can bring any woman to speak the truth on anything...My style of running game on broads is so fucking spectacular, I can get hot 20 something bartenders to actually pay for my beers, play music that I like on the jukebox with their money, and beg me to not leave so they can take me back to their place while their boyfriends are at work...

    Is that evil? I remember catching my high school sweetheart doing this shit almost 20 years ago, now Iím the Sancho...But, it does nothing for me really...it actually creates more anguish because the taste of 20 year old pussy is like the most intoxifying narcotic, the highest of the highs, especially if u know u can go back for more...

    The things I would have done to that girl!

    Thatís right, I took my free beers, and declined her demand that I donít leave...I saw how she treated her bf too, I sat and bullshat with him for a few minutes when he came to visit her at work...He was an over glorified version of the biggest pussy begger I ever did meet...She told him to come behind the bar and do all of her dishes all while she was eyefucking the hell out me and coldly kicking out some others...As soon as he left, she came around the bar to me, felt me up from behind n told me she didnt have to be home til 3...it was 11:45, she was closing early so we could go back to her place...

    I really pissed her off when I just left.

    I simply cannot go into public when shit like this happens. Itís the third time in three months, with three dif bartenders, at three dif bars...All of these women knew I was different, they persued me and when I shrugged it of they amplified it to the point where I went home with the first two, and left them hanging too...

    I go out, seduce these broads into seducing me and I leave them hanging out to dry...This is a fucking dangerous game...

    Still not as dangerous as what comes with my supposed baby-momma...Not even close...

    Iím about to find out if there are domestic violence warrants for me in another state. They would be false allegations of course. I havenít seen this woman in almost a year...She tries calling every once in a while, most recent call two weeks ago...no message...I went NC on her because of the typical lies and manipulation bs, and extortion...Iím leaving her to her own imagination of how clueless she thinks I am...

    I have everything planned out to blindside her for full custody, if he really is my son, legally...

    I also have plans for if things go even more sideways...I know how to disappear, have places I can go, and I would rather die a free man than enslaved by a broken and twisted governent system...They can label me a deadbeat but, being a deadbeat has more class than being a tax funded terrorist organization claiming to represent justice and law...

    I hope my boy can survive to understand that I do love him, if heís mine of course. And, if his mother inflicts harm and evil upon him, may God have mercy on her soul.

    Fuck this spiderweb!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    As long as you have things planned out you will always be ahead. Never reveal too much your leverage, because that is the easiest way to fail. Also, on a side note you probably can ghost more effectively by just enjoying your hobbies guilt free with your free time. As the supposed baby mama drama if there is no proof I wouldn't buy the story she is cooking up.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Nomad View Post
    As long as you have things planned out you will always be ahead. Never reveal too much your leverage, because that is the easiest way to fail. Also, on a side note you probably can ghost more effectively by just enjoying your hobbies guilt free with your free time. As the supposed baby mama drama if there is no proof I wouldn't buy the story she is cooking up.
    You’re right and it has taken me nearly a year to realize that I need to just keep pushing on doing my own thing. But, during that time of self torture and state of limbo, I hadn’t been able to enjoy anything, let alone dust off any hobbies.

    I’m having a very hard time rewiring my brain to not want sex again. Every female I see, I visualize in a sexual manner again. I thought I had that beat, now I’m fighting off the urge to go land some strange right now...

    I believe that I had a sexual addiction for most of my life. Most of my interests were inspired to attract better and better pussy...It’s a very tough cycle, and an apparently unhealthy mechanism in my drive again.

    It will take another lifetime to unlearn it all and even put myself back on a level playing field with society as my credit is destroyed, my reputation exagerated, my health on the brink, and so many bridges burnt to ash or left to rot for too long...

    Thanks for the positive words, stranger...It’s a wicked world we live in

  4. #4
    Senior Member Alik Sakharov's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Looking through blinds for a sheriff thats the thing that castrates me . For me its too much of a price .

    Together with STDs .

    Is this real life ? Is this not a hell already ?
    You cant keep a player down!
    Dont hate him , hate your fuking bullshit game !

  5. #5
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Alik Sakharov View Post
    Looking through blinds for a sheriff thats the thing that castrates me . For me its too much of a price .

    Together with STDs .

    Is this real life ? Is this not a hell already ?
    It’s real and it is hell, especially knowing how bad this could go. I’ve always had a feeling of being hunted by something, and I might be stuck in it’s web. Choices that I have made in life, especially through weakness of will, have landed me here. It’s like being harvested. Or falling into a bottomless pit...

    Either way, I’m trying to change my mindset to learn to save my own ass from the problems I create and stop making really terrible decisions, if it’s not too late...

    That’s all we can really do. Life can change in the blink of an eye for anyone. Better or worse, a little of it is out of our control. And, outside stressors can mimic a brain wasting disease by pressing enough. Like an audible, yet subtle torture...grinding on your will and pulling on your desires...

    I look strong but, I am very weak. Frederic Nietzche put it like: Weak men are good men, becauce evil likes the strong man better. Not to deflect blame but, I see it as being weak I made less decisions, less chance for bad ones all around as when I was strong it went to my ego and I was easily corrupted.

    Sorry stranger, I am in too deep in my head atm

    The countering perspectives on this site do help sort things out a little, I think��

    I appreciate the volley and my Doctor cleared me from std’s

  6. #6
    Senior Member toolate's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    No such thing as sexual addiction. Just nature's funny little joke on us naked primates, reminding what our main mission on Planet of the Primates is:

    Depositing more genetic material into female primates to make more primates. All else is commentary.

    (Just don't end up in a cage)
    My Senior Member is semi retired.

  7. #7
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Malinois View Post
    Youíre right


    I believe that I had a sexual addiction for most of my life. Most of my interests were inspired to attract better and better pussy...Itís a very tough cycle, and an apparently unhealthy mechanism in my drive again.

    in
    Instead of trying to attract better pussy, you could use a p4p option and use hookers. You don't have to improve yourself to attract them.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by kev03 View Post
    Instead of trying to attract better pussy, you could use a p4p option and use hookers. You don't have to improve yourself to attract them.
    That was different time...The quagmire I think is that the healthier, stronger, and more virile that a man is, more responsibilities you have just to maintain that. More activity, more work, more interactions, and more interpersonal relationships...So, naturally a guy meets and greets more females and the easier it is to let one latch onto u, in the typical parasitic manner of course. When ur thirsty they kno it and look for what’s wrong with you but, if you could give two shits about even her attention, they wonder what’s wrong with them. And if they like what they see they will be jealous or try to get u to relinquish it to them, through lies, shaming, or other trickery.

    It’s easier for me to hermit out but, I don’t want to end that way, so I refuse and resist and make hampsters spin and make waves...Obvious attention seeking behavior to myself but, also obvious risk taking behavior, which seems to be in my blood. It’s almost black and white.

    I went to see a bartender again tonight because I have bigtime cabin fever and anxiety. I tried to take it head on by risking a dui so I could just socialize. I was seeking some normalcy. I risked more than that tonight. I risked my life by making a lot of backward decisions, because I’m at a pinnacle of that or something. Who the fuck even knows? lol

    In short, I made a new friend tonight. This time a dude that is 15 years my senior BUT, I was scammed in one way and enlightened in another. I watched him swipe $35 right off my desk in my apartment. BUT, because of his situation I let it slide. I had mercy on a thief in my own home tonight. As soon as he crumbled it in his hands, after I handed him a beer, in my home, I told him: If you need to borrow $35, I’ll loan it to you. And, instead of him jacking me, or me jacking him...we had another beer and went outside for a smoke...$35 isnt gonna kill me but, what does is that I deserved it...I’m glad I’m still alive...I take stupid risks when I’ve been in my own head for too long...

    He’s from my neigborhood, we both grew up in this neighborhood, he just got out of the clink after a 15 year stretch. He’s got nothing but clout. I even gave him a fiver to buy a broad a beer because I was bored and we were just two strangers out on the town. We closed down three bars and got kicked out of a forth...But, we were strangers...Apparently I pick up hitchhikers now lol

    (Had to write that shit down before I forget lol)

  9. #9
    Senior Member Alik Sakharov's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Malinois View Post
    That was different time...The quagmire I think is that the healthier, stronger, and more virile that a man is, more responsibilities you have just to maintain that. More activity, more work, more interactions, and more interpersonal relationships...So, naturally a guy meets and greets more females and the easier it is to let one latch onto u, in the typical parasitic manner of course. When ur thirsty they kno it and look for what’s wrong with you but, if you could give two shits about even her attention, they wonder what’s wrong with them. And if they like what they see they will be jealous or try to get u to relinquish it to them, through lies, shaming, or other trickery.

    It’s easier for me to hermit out but, I don’t want to end that way, so I refuse and resist and make hampsters spin and make waves...Obvious attention seeking behavior to myself but, also obvious risk taking behavior, which seems to be in my blood. It’s almost black and white.

    I went to see a bartender again tonight because I have bigtime cabin fever and anxiety. I tried to take it head on by risking a dui so I could just socialize. I was seeking some normalcy. I risked more than that tonight. I risked my life by making a lot of backward decisions, because I’m at a pinnacle of that or something. Who the fuck even knows? lol

    In short, I made a new friend tonight. This time a dude that is 15 years my senior BUT, I was scammed in one way and enlightened in another. I watched him swipe $35 right off my desk in my apartment. BUT, because of his situation I let it slide. I had mercy on a thief in my own home tonight. As soon as he crumbled it in his hands, after I handed him a beer, in my home, I told him: If you need to borrow $35, I’ll loan it to you. And, instead of him jacking me, or me jacking him...we had another beer and went outside for a smoke...$35 isnt gonna kill me but, what does is that I deserved it...I’m glad I’m still alive...I take stupid risks when I’ve been in my own head for too long...

    He’s from my neigborhood, we both grew up in this neighborhood, he just got out of the clink after a 15 year stretch. He’s got nothing but clout. I even gave him a fiver to buy a broad a beer because I was bored and we were just two strangers out on the town. We closed down three bars and got kicked out of a forth...But, we were strangers...Apparently I pick up hitchhikers now lol

    (Had to write that shit down before I forget lol)
    LOL you know you are not normal , right ?

    And why didnt you fuck that bar chick the first time ? Just smash that hole inside out :P
    You cant keep a player down!
    Dont hate him , hate your fuking bullshit game !

  10. #10
    Senior Member Malinois's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Alik Sakharov View Post
    LOL you know you are not normal , right ?

    And why didnt you fuck that bar chick the first time ? Just smash that hole inside out :P
    Oh, brother I know😀

    I would have been addicted to the snatch too much and made more bad decisions...

    That pussy is the worldís most addictive, expensive, and dangerous drug...I am not strong enough to deal with what comes with it...

  11. #11
    Senior Member Alik Sakharov's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Malinois View Post
    Oh, brother I know

    I would have been addicted to the snatch too much and made more bad decisions...

    That pussy is the world’s most addictive, expensive, and dangerous drug...I am not strong enough to deal with what comes with it...
    That much we know

    But its just pussy with ears at the end of the day
    You cant keep a player down!
    Dont hate him , hate your fuking bullshit game !

  12. #12
    Senior Member AdTheBad's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    I say what I think most of the time, which creates drama, most of the time. Are we just supposed spew out the expected response to keep the water calm?
    Each to their own way. My 1st ever job aged 11, drover (fetching cows a couple of miles for milking). My 1st ever self realised lesson...don't spook the herd (its time consuming and frustrating clearing up after a stampede).

    "Are we just supposed spew out the expected response to keep the water calm?"...it works for me...don't need the drama.
    Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate. Zhuangzi

    someone asked the poet Sophocles: "How are you in regard to sex, Sophocles? Can you still make love to a woman?" Hush man, the poet replied, I am very glad to have escaped from this, like a slave who has escaped from a mad and cruel master."

    Dont worry about me. Worry about why you're worried about me.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    I prefer to ghost in plain site by being low key. But I do rock the boat with some red pill truths sometimes when I want to entertain myself by making white knights look stupid and make hamsters spin.

    Have to flip the frame of being the outcast and actually become a man on a mission to enjoy life.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Aintdealingwithyoshit's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    For what it's worth you appear to be a talented writer. Might be something you can look into as a hobby. All it requires is something to write with/on, so not much at all.
    Yes your meth head girlfriend was a massive slip-up, getting her preggers an even bigger one. Well we all make mistakes. What matters is not giving up and moving on.
    Solution for the rapefugee crisis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTYkcnJdDio
    Politicians? Oh, you mean ​lamppost ornaments!

  15. #15
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: Always A Target/ Ramblings of a MGTOW

    I keep my life minimalist and simple. I like to save money and conserve resources, not squander them and chase more and more responsibility and money to handle my excess. My social life is small - a couple of siblings, a few friends. I see people a couple of times per month, if that. a small social circle of older, bachelor and divorced people means no young people, no weddings... funerals are an inevitability.

    Im INTJ so I enjoy spending lots of time alone when I don't have the kids. The kids are my main source of contact with others. Parents, teachers, daycare staff... I need to interact with these people - I am cordial but I don't get that particularly close with these people. I take my kids to sleep-overs and birthday parties and have other kids come to my house for same. But it's not a continual and ongoing thing.

    My life is simple and I like it that way.

    As such, ghosting is not something I have to even do - I am a ghost by virtue of how I live my life.

    And like I always say, if you want to be invisible to women all you have to do is not chase, which is give women no time or attention and spend no money on them. Guys who are visible with women do all of that - a LOT. If they stopped, according to them, they would be "losers who can't get laid". In reality, they would just be men who stopped chasing and thus are invisible.

    Why would women seek out men who have nothing to do with them when they have all of this male attention, Tinder, social media apps and orbiters pining for their attention?

    Ghosting is peace.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...


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