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  1. #1
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    More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    So as many of you know, I'm still married because I want to minimize trauma to the involved children.

    That being said, we are looking for a bigger house. We both agree to that at least. A bigger house will give us more ways to separate ourselves from each other. As things stand, we are always bumping elbows.

    So we found this great house that is in impeccable condition. It is basically on the very edge of what we can afford. We haven't even made an offer yet, and she has a list of shit she wants to change that has to be close to $100,000.

    This place is beautiful as it stands. Yes, their are decorating choices that I would have made differently, but they aren't worth changing, at least if your a guy.

    Even if you assume that there are no other problems with our marriage, this alone should give any man considering marriage pause to reconsider. Simply don't do it. A previous house we owned had about $100,000 worth of improvements as well. It probably raised the sale price of the house $20,000.

    Women simply don't get math, even if they understand math well enough to solve the problems on the test. I hope you get my meaning hear. They are smart enough to solve the problems, but they simply lack the capacity to understand the implications. This is especially true with non linear things like compounded interest. She simply doesn't comprehend the impact of spending money instead of investing it. All because there wasn't enough taupe in the marble tile that probably cost the original builder thousands extra.

    Head my warning, you blue pill men that may have just found your way to this site. Even if your "lady" is exceptional in every other way, this one defect is more of a deficit than any joy she brings you.

    Simply Do - Not- Get - Married. In the modern era, it is the path to financial ruin.

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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Bingo, remodel costs on an already nice home is money down the drain. I think the only money I ever recovered was for a bathroom remodel. And even when she likes the house before you move, she will find things wrong with it. Rather than do what a man does, adapt to the envornment. A woman wants to adapt the house to her regardless of cost when she has a man paying the bills. And it gets worse, once you put in that new deck or whatever, then the landscaping has to be upgraded too etc...
    Women have found a way to monetize home appreciation and flush all of it down the toilet

  3. #3
    Senior Member O.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    OP

    I 100% agree about never satisfying a woman. You can't spend your way there. It's never enough.

    I know this was not part of your post. Pardon my MGTOW mindset about doing what's best for me first. Still have to ask.

    Have you thought about what the bigger home and larger debt could end up doing to you personally? Just because you aren't filing for a divorce, does not mean she won't. You say the new place is on the edge of what "we" can afford. What if it ends up after a divorce YOU have to afford it? Plus some place for you to live? Have you looked hard at just saying nope, I ain't moving? Especially considering the state of your marriage. Do you really want to dig the hole deeper?

    There is a second hidden lesson in your post. That is how a man can end up further down the road to larger personal harm. Courtesy of his cupcake.
    "People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings."
    - Nietzsche


  4. #4
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    A woman's emptiness is like a black hole. A man's resources, (time, money and energy) are all wasted into nothingness there. A woman's satisfaction is fleeting, at best. Even when "satisfied" you can see a thinly veiled regret that things were not somehow even better. They're just never happy, and that could well be by design. If women were to become happy, the simping beta males would one-day say "enough" and "enough" is the antithesis of the female abundance mentality. Always more more more with the split-tails.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  5. #5
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    I'd like to give more info, but I try to write with a certain amount of ambiguity for plausible deniability reasons. I'll just say that my wife makes her own money. She isn't exactly spending my money, but she is spending the hell out of hers. Even with her respectable income, the expenditures can be devastating. It doesn't matter who makes the money, they will see to it that it gets spent. At minimum, we could be so much further along investing the money instead of burning it.

    Lesson two in this post is actually one of hypergamy. She actually out earns me. That also has a disastrous effect on the relationship. Women like to pretend that its the "fragile male ego" that can't take a woman out-earning them. In reality, it turns them into monsters. MRA types would tell you I'm in a good situation, but they discount this fact. A woman can not respect a man if she out earns him. It doesn't even matter if he worked to put her through school to get those big dollars (I did). It's a huge exercise in "what have you done for me lately?"

    Regarding the rest, I don't disagree that those possibilities exist. I can only control what I control, and I choose to maximize the likelihood I stay in my kids life.

    Family law in our jurisdiction is actually written in a gender neutral fashion. It almost always favors the woman, but that is starting to change as men start to unplug from the rat race. Women hate the hell out of this of course. Even still, the law is unequally enforced. Men don't get to "clean her out" the way she can "clean him out", but it is enough to give her pause before going the divorce route.

    In my blue pill days, I actually did what the feminist narrative tells us women want. It's at least a partial role reversal with regard to income and child care. Hypergamy says not only no, but hell no.

    Here is the moral of the story:

    If you follow the blue pill feminist narrative you end up living with a woman who can't respect you, and will make you miserable in unfathomable ways.

    If you follow the blue pill tradcon narrative you end up getting divorce raped into a single bedroom apartment cooking your food on a hotplate.

    In either case, you get to see your kids less than you would like.

    MGTOW is the only way for the modern man.

  6. #6
    Member rkspsm's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by pbisque View Post
    ...
    Simply Do - Not- Get - Married. In the modern era, it is the path to financial ruin.
    I remember getting into an argument, a very short one though, with a female classmate from school, many years ago. I think I was 17 years old at that time(I am 32 now, almost 33). I cant say how much "red pilled" I was, but I was suspicious enough of the system and rebellious enough to act on that defensively.

    It started with me declaring bluntly that I aint marrying. To which she replied that nobody can live alone, and I will realize that over time. I told her that it remains to be seen. It took the form of some kind of pseudo "bet". If I ever interact with her again, I am gonna say "I won"
    A clever fighter not only wins, but excels in winning with ease. His victories bring him neither reputation for wisdom, nor credit for courage. He wins his battles by making no mistakes. Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of victory, for it means conquering an enemy that is already defeated.

    Sun Tzu in The Art of War
    MGTOW is about making no mistakes against gynocentrism.

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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    I've been cooking my food in a microwave the size of a bread box, and on one burner of a cheap 4-burner mini-stove, for the past three plus decades. I don't even know if the other three burners work. And I've lived alone all my life, over three decades of it in what's known as a "termite shack" -- a tiny, cheap, poorly-insulated house that doesn't even have a foundation or central heat, and it's located north enough to need both. Counter tops are Formica. Cabinets are 1980s vintage. Kitchen floor, cheap linoleum, is starting to lift in spots. Shower stall, no bathtub, one toilet stained by well-water minerals. Taxes are so low it's a joke. I've accumulated more toys than I know what to do with. Net worth just north of 2M USD and increasing yearly because I chose my mutual funds wisely.

    So I guess living alone hasn't worked out for me.

    Yeah, so, to the young guys, do what you want and never mind what people say. And above all, don't get caught in the rat race of competing with everyone else to have the shiniest, newest, hippest of everything. That's just a symptom of insecurity. You get one chance at life. This is not a dress rehearsal. You've got to get it right the first time.

  8. #8
    Member Hoppes#9's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    hell yes!

  9. #9
    Senior Member O.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    OP - Thanks for fleshing out your reasons as much as possible. You are on the path that works best for you at the moment. That's what counts!

    Kru-kut - Dude you are a MGTOW king. I mean this with all sincerity.

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    "People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings."
    - Nietzsche


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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Thanks, man, but if I told you just how close I came in my earlier years to totally blowing up my life with dumb decisions, you'd rip that badge you just gave me right off my chest.

  11. #11

    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by Insidious_Sid View Post
    A woman's emptiness is like a black hole. A man's resources, (time, money and energy) are all wasted into nothingness there. A woman's satisfaction is fleeting, at best. Even when "satisfied" you can see a thinly veiled regret that things were not somehow even better. They're just never happy, and that could well be by design. If women were to become happy, the simping beta males would one-day say "enough" and "enough" is the antithesis of the female abundance mentality. Always more more more with the split-tails.
    Women equate happiness with having.
    Men equate happiness with doing.

    For a woman, happiness is that fleeting few minutes between getting the shoes that will make her happy, and wanting a different pair of shoes that she thinks will make her happy.
    An escort is a woman you occasionally financially support only when she has sex with you.

    A date is a woman you occasionally financially support in the hope she will have sex with you.

    A wife is a woman you constantly financially support even when she is not having sex with you.

    An ex-wife is a woman you constantly financially support with alimony so she can have sex......with someone else.

  12. #12
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    There is nothing worse than staying in a marriage "for the children". You ARE making the children miserable. They are not stupid. They know the parents are not happy and pretty soon its going to come to blows. It will start with constant arguing and escalate. Trust me I know. I have seen it time & time again. I also grew up with it.

    The best thing you can do is file for divorce. It will save you time, life, money, and bullshit. I am divorced and I am so sorry I ever got married.


    Kru-Kru,

    Ita funny you mentioned microwaves & three decades. I bought a newer model microwave from Walmart less than 2 years ago. The cocksucker blew up. It never cooked that good anyway. Last week I bought a microwave made in 1985(!) from a thrift store that works awesome. Its the best microwave I ever had. The older stuff is still the best. All these newer gadgets today are just cash grabbers. I also picked up a PS2 launch edition(almost 19 years ago!) that came with a few games. I have been playing NFL Street 2 like tomorrow. LIFE IS GOOD!

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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    I was talking with a guy who fixes appliances. He said the same as you -- Today's stuff is garbage. It's made to a price point because people don't want quality, they want cheap. Most people are too ignorant to do a net present value analysis on things they buy. I bought a Speed Queen commercial washer when my Whirlpool washer's outer tub started leaking. That thing went for 27 years. The Speed Queen has stainless steel parts. Paid a lot more for it than I might have for, say, an LG, but laundromats stake their livelihoods on this brand, so it makes sense in the long term.

    Good luck with the '85. Should go another 30 years.

    Sort of OT, but I used to fly a lot for work. I always felt safest doing short hops in a Douglas DC-3 or a deHavilland Otter. Noisy as hell, but the pilots used to tell me you just can't kill those things. And they're simple to maintain, tough to f things up.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Remember men: They'd only live in the termite shack long enough to cash in on the $2M. I have some pretty crusty plumbing fixtures in here too... I fix or replace things as they break - no sooner. Someone once told me I should go out and replace every door knob and lever in the house with brushed platinum because the fake gold (90's) looked tacky. I said "Hey, that's what you can get me for Christmas!" hahahaha. Oh, that someone was a friend of the ex and she doesn't come around here any more! :P
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  15. #15
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by MGTOWFOREVER View Post
    There is nothing worse than staying in a marriage "for the children". You ARE making the children miserable. They are not stupid. They know the parents are not happy and pretty soon its going to come to blows. It will start with constant arguing and escalate. Trust me I know. I have seen it time & time again. I also grew up with it.

    The best thing you can do is file for divorce. It will save you time, life, money, and bullshit. I am divorced and I am so sorry I ever got married.

    I disagree. I'll give you a few reasons why.

    If a woman can not take personal responsibility for her innate unhappiness, she must find someone else to blame. Right now, that guy is me. If I am out of the picture, where will she refocus? One of the kids of course. The damage that will cause a child is tremendous, and I believe outweighs any damage observing occasional fights will.

    We act as if kids seeing their parents argue is a bad thing. That is only true if we want to raise them blue pill. My aim is to raise kids with awareness of reality. The nature of male vs female is part of that reality. How many MGTOW out there are so because of what they saw their father go through? In hind site, are you not glad your father saved you from reliving his misery? For example, lets say the fight is about redecorating the kitchen. Child says, Dad, why are you and mom fighting? Blue pill dad says "Oh, we just disagree on somethings. You'll understand some day". The child has no information and is confused. Red pill dad speaks the truth. "Mom thinks we need to remodel the kitchen and I disagree. I think it will cost too much money". Child says, "But we already have a nice kitchen". Dad says, "I agree". Child says, "Then why does she want to redecorate it?" Dad says, "I don't know. That is what the argument was about."

    You are absolutely right. Kids are smart. All you have to do is expose the truth to them and they will see it. The harm comes when parents try to protect their kids from the harsh nature of reality. Blue pill parents do this because they hope some day their kids will find a way to the "happily ever after" marriage. We are all beyond that aren't we? I'm trying to save my kids from that blue pill delusion, and see no better way of doing that then showing them all of the ugly.

    Now, I'd really love to flesh all of this out more, but it would have to be more specific than I am comfortable with. Rest assured, my kids are remarkably well adjusted. This is a tough balancing act, but if I didn't think I was pulling it off, I'd come up with a different strategy.

    I'll also add this one bit, least you think my house is dominated by angry fights. It is not. This one is for guys that might find themselves in similar situations. It's truly amazing how much less you fight, the minute you genuinely stop caring about making her happy. This is where learning game comes in. Understanding the psychology really does help. The more aloof you become and the less you care, the less there is to fight about. She will absolutely respect you more than she did when you were simping. As a result, fighting greatly diminishes. If you also give up on the idea of sex, the fights drop another order of magnitude. A little true understanding goes a long way. Oddly enough, you end up getting more sex as well. In a "no more mister nice guy" context, I would probably be considered a success story. Truly though, you can either love women or understand them. You can't do both. When you figure that out, marriage is nothing more than a hollow shell.

    I have another friend who hasn't learned this yet. The more he continues to bend over for her, the more she tries to snap him in half. Women simply do not respect weak men. That being said, some sins can not be recovered from. You will pay for them one way or the other. That is where I am. Making the best of it. It's why I put as much as I can into this and other forums, and it is why I don't shield my kids from "unpleasant" reality more than I judge necessary. I intend to stop as many of the next generations men from making the mistakes I have made.

    I know many will disagree with my stance on this. That is fine. We are are individuals doing our level best. Right now, this is what works for me.

  16. #16
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by kru-kut View Post
    I don't even know if the other three burners work.
    I totally get that, and it's funny.


    Quote Originally Posted by pbisque View Post
    She isn't exactly spending my money, but she is spending the hell out of hers. Even with her respectable income, the expenditures can be devastating. It doesn't matter who makes the money, they will see to it that it gets spent. At minimum, we could be so much further along investing the money instead of burning it.
    pbisque, could she have in her mind that, down the road in a divorce, that your money will become hers? She blows through her money today, thinking the money you are saving will be her tomorrow?
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

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  17. #17
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    pbisque, could she have in her mind that, down the road in a divorce, that your money will become hers? She blows through her money today, thinking the money you are saving will be her tomorrow?
    This touches on a fact that not too many men get: When a woman throws a net over a man with the intention of getting him to marry her, she has the long game in mind -- the end result she's after. She will never, ever tell the man what that is. The man, on the other hand, rarely thinks long term. Or if he does, his mental images of the future are, at best, vague and disconnected. He might think, "Oooh, hot wife who dresses to please me, super cute, always cuddles with me and says she loves me. I know I see a future with her. Nice little home, couple of kids, Golden Retriever, three squares a day. Sounds like what I'm after."

    Our job, collectively, is to disabuse him of that falsehood, and wake him up to see what the true intentions are of the woman his heart has fooled him into thinking he's fond of. Reality is rarely what the heart would have you believe it is.

  18. #18
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by kru-kut View Post
    I was talking with a guy who fixes appliances. He said the same as you -- Today's stuff is garbage. It's made to a price point because people don't want quality, they want cheap. Most people are too ignorant to do a net present value analysis on things they buy. I bought a Speed Queen commercial washer when my Whirlpool washer's outer tub started leaking. That thing went for 27 years. The Speed Queen has stainless steel parts. Paid a lot more for it than I might have for, say, an LG, but laundromats stake their livelihoods on this brand, so it makes sense in the long term.

    Good luck with the '85. Should go another 30 years.

    Sort of OT, but I used to fly a lot for work. I always felt safest doing short hops in a Douglas DC-3 or a deHavilland Otter. Noisy as hell, but the pilots used to tell me you just can't kill those things. And they're simple to maintain, tough to f things up.

    I love older stuff. I know O.G. and myself are fans of thrift stores. They are highly recommended by me. Most of what I own has come from thrift stores including this computer I am using now. Got it for $10. It was so old but that MySpace was on it and I can tell a girl owned it cause she forgot to erase her pictures. Just formatted it and put Windows 7 on it and it works like a charm. I noticed people have to have the latest bullshit and then they complain about it. Let's say a video game. They go out at pay $60 for it then after all the DLC they have spent a grand total of $150(if not more). They bitch its nothing like last version and how this & that has been removed. They blow a gasket cause now the same game is released with all the DLC and with patch 1.2.3.4a and next week with be patch 1.2.3.4a2. Its all bullshit.

  19. #19
    Senior Member MGTOWFOREVER's Avatar
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Quote Originally Posted by pbisque View Post
    I disagree. I'll give you a few reasons why.

    If a woman can not take personal responsibility for her innate unhappiness, she must find someone else to blame. Right now, that guy is me. If I am out of the picture, where will she refocus? One of the kids of course. The damage that will cause a child is tremendous, and I believe outweighs any damage observing occasional fights will.

    We act as if kids seeing their parents argue is a bad thing. That is only true if we want to raise them blue pill. My aim is to raise kids with awareness of reality. The nature of male vs female is part of that reality. How many MGTOW out there are so because of what they saw their father go through? In hind site, are you not glad your father saved you from reliving his misery? For example, lets say the fight is about redecorating the kitchen. Child says, Dad, why are you and mom fighting? Blue pill dad says "Oh, we just disagree on somethings. You'll understand some day". The child has no information and is confused. Red pill dad speaks the truth. "Mom thinks we need to remodel the kitchen and I disagree. I think it will cost too much money". Child says, "But we already have a nice kitchen". Dad says, "I agree". Child says, "Then why does she want to redecorate it?" Dad says, "I don't know. That is what the argument was about."

    You are absolutely right. Kids are smart. All you have to do is expose the truth to them and they will see it. The harm comes when parents try to protect their kids from the harsh nature of reality. Blue pill parents do this because they hope some day their kids will find a way to the "happily ever after" marriage. We are all beyond that aren't we? I'm trying to save my kids from that blue pill delusion, and see no better way of doing that then showing them all of the ugly.

    Now, I'd really love to flesh all of this out more, but it would have to be more specific than I am comfortable with. Rest assured, my kids are remarkably well adjusted. This is a tough balancing act, but if I didn't think I was pulling it off, I'd come up with a different strategy.

    I'll also add this one bit, least you think my house is dominated by angry fights. It is not. This one is for guys that might find themselves in similar situations. It's truly amazing how much less you fight, the minute you genuinely stop caring about making her happy. This is where learning game comes in. Understanding the psychology really does help. The more aloof you become and the less you care, the less there is to fight about. She will absolutely respect you more than she did when you were simping. As a result, fighting greatly diminishes. If you also give up on the idea of sex, the fights drop another order of magnitude. A little true understanding goes a long way. Oddly enough, you end up getting more sex as well. In a "no more mister nice guy" context, I would probably be considered a success story. Truly though, you can either love women or understand them. You can't do both. When you figure that out, marriage is nothing more than a hollow shell.

    I have another friend who hasn't learned this yet. The more he continues to bend over for her, the more she tries to snap him in half. Women simply do not respect weak men. That being said, some sins can not be recovered from. You will pay for them one way or the other. That is where I am. Making the best of it. It's why I put as much as I can into this and other forums, and it is why I don't shield my kids from "unpleasant" reality more than I judge necessary. I intend to stop as many of the next generations men from making the mistakes I have made.

    I know many will disagree with my stance on this. That is fine. We are are individuals doing our level best. Right now, this is what works for me.
    If a woman can not take personal responsibility for her innate unhappiness, she must find someone else to blame. Right now, that guy is me. If I am out of the picture, where will she refocus? One of the kids of course. The damage that will cause a child is tremendous, and I believe outweighs any damage observing occasional fights will.
    She will damn you weither you are around or not. If you continue to stay around then your kids will look at you as weak. It will be the old "Mom walked all over dad, he was a pushover with no spine,etc".

    We act as if kids seeing their parents argue is a bad thing. That is only true if we want to raise them blue pill. My aim is to raise kids with awareness of reality. The nature of male vs female is part of that reality. How many MGTOW out there are so because of what they saw their father go through? In hind site, are you not glad your father saved you from reliving his misery? For example, lets say the fight is about redecorating the kitchen. Child says, Dad, why are you and mom fighting? Blue pill dad says "Oh, we just disagree on somethings. You'll understand some day". The child has no information and is confused. Red pill dad speaks the truth. "Mom thinks we need to remodel the kitchen and I disagree. I think it will cost too much money". Child says, "But we already have a nice kitchen". Dad says, "I agree". Child says, "Then why does she want to redecorate it?" Dad says, "I don't know. That is what the argument was about."
    It IS bad to see the parents fight all the time. It DOES take an effect on the kids. They will grow to resent you for it. There is one thing to have disagreements but then there is fighting.

    You are absolutely right. Kids are smart. All you have to do is expose the truth to them and they will see it. The harm comes when parents try to protect their kids from the harsh nature of reality. Blue pill parents do this because they hope some day their kids will find a way to the "happily ever after" marriage. We are all beyond that aren't we? I'm trying to save my kids from that blue pill delusion, and see no better way of doing that then showing them all of the ugly.
    I couldn't agree more. But I will add I HATE when parents shelter their kids and think they are angels. My 11 year old nephew has the most filthiest mouth of all time. His mother does nothing about it. But if he aims his filth at me and we jokingly smile at each other while flipping each other off then I am the bad guy. I get bitched at and made out evil. I tell the mother "Didn't you hear the filth out of his mouth?" then I get the old "He is just a child". She gets so pissed at me when I say "Nice parenting Casey Anthony".

  20. #20
    Senior Member
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    Re: More tales from the trenches, life as an AWM (Awaked While Married)

    Well here is my summary. If you are stuck in a marriage, then material like "No More Mr. Nice Guy" is invaluable. You can have success with it. It's largely what I have done and it has improved things greatly.

    That being said, it's still not worth it. No matter how much game you apply, at the end of the day, she is still a woman.


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