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  1. #1

    Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    In my first post I spoke about the shitty relationship I have with my friend of seven years, a chick.

    http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow...html#post96327

    We didn't become close until she found out I was gay, but henceforth began to use me as an emotional tampon; I was attracted to her as a friend because of how she wasn't like other girls, was actually interested in the same movies as me (although she hated my music), shared my resentment for feminism and political correctness and had a similar dark humor.

    Of course my greatest mistakes were 1) opening up to her emotionally and 2) allowing her to lend me money, though I protested, when I was broke.

    Anyway now I've stopped talking to her as much, I can sense our friendship is at it's final stage seeing as I've lost all trust for her and can see how she's used me in the past (the money she gave me was usually for transport to her house so she could whine about her boyfriend some more), I paid her back all her money a few months ago and just feel drained having to have a conversation with her, but being the pussy that I am I can't man up and tell her buh-bye.

    So now she seems to be noticing I'm ignoring her and every so often I get a message saying 'Goddamnit reply' or 'I see you there', all of which brings flashbacks to a time when she assured me she wasn't like all those other crazy bitches out there.

    Three days ago she sent me an open ended message about her boyfriend, who I've refused to talk about, how she might break up with him, in hope that I'd reply, when I ignored that she added some more messages about the election, which she knew I was interested in, to lure me in, I knew that when I replied about the election she would answer with a nonchalant 'cool' then be back on to her boyfriend, so I ignored her some more.

    That night I put her on mute, the next day I'd received four messages, I refused to press on them so I could only see the last message in the display bar '... OR TELL ME TO FUCK OFF'. I laughed, she's finally realising it, but also realised I should probably talk to her now and tell her I don't think we should be friends,'We've gone in different directions, etc, etc'. But of course I didn't, I left it another night and now I have two new messages, the last one reading 'WOW'.

    I find it interesting how I now live in a complete different country, and she is now in university surrounded by lots of people, while I'm not even in school yet, and she still relies on messaging me every second of the day to complain about how depressed she is and how she hates everyone and how this person has stopped talking to her and how she feels that person hates her, she evidently has no friends, and will struggle to make any in the future because of how bitter she has become in recent years (another reason I started to see her in a different light); before she was depressed because she was living with her parents, she concluded that once she moves out all her problems will be solved; now she's depressed because she hates Uni and everyone here is too effeminate or stupid for her, she's now concluded that once she and her boyfriend get married and travel the world together she will be alright.

    I have concluded there is no consoling her and that I am tired of being her box of Kleenex. What I'm conflicted on is whether or not I should completely pull the cord and tell her I'm no longer interested in being friends with her, or continue the silent treatment a little bit longer until she explodes from being ignored for so long. I think the only thing holding me back is my fear of being a cunt and hurting someone else's feelings.

  2. #2
    Moderator Thomas Covenant's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    If it was me, I would send a message explaining this, but keep it brief. A couple of sentences would do. But it's up to you man, lots of other guys would just tell you to keep ignoring her.
    I work in financial planning. I am interested in metal (all kinds), miniature painting and PC gaming. I live in Scotland.

  3. #3
    Moderator William Noy's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas Covenant View Post
    If it was me, I would send a message explaining this, but keep it brief. A couple of sentences would do. But it's up to you man, lots of other guys would just tell you to keep ignoring her.
    Yeah, I was going to say that the stereotype is that men like a clean break.

    Once I'm done with someone, my instinct is just to freeze them out. I literally want nothing more to do with them. And I think this is true of a lot of men given it's a common complaint from women.

    I've actually given this some thought, and while it's considerate to let someone know you don't want to associate with them anymore, I think many men prefer to to just ghost someone because we don't want to be hassled with the emotional conflict that will inevitably erupt.

    Women talk about closure, but really, I think they want to be the ones to hurt the other person.
    Last edited by William Noy; November 22, 2016 at 2:26 PM.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member flailer's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    I'd prolly stop responding, completely, as she doesn't appear to be a friend at all. or
    I'd prolly stop responding, mostly, as she doesnt appear to saying anything you can do anything about. or
    I'd prolly stop responding, mostly, as you can't count on her, and she can't count on you.

    To say you have drifted apart would be a HUGE understatement.

    Point in fact: I have no LOGICAL idea why you responded in the first place.

    Friends are important!! .... BUT: I believe SHE is diluting, or even fully undermining / destroying / devaluing, what it means to be a friend. shrugs

    Yes? No? Maybe?
    If misery loves company; Happiness requires Bachelorhood

    p.s. i resent being a "senior member" - I'm not that old, or am I?

  5. #5
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    I would do what some others have said. Explain briefly. Maybe including saying something like,

    "I'm a person and what you really need is a diary."
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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  6. #6

    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    I would do what some others have said. Explain briefly. Maybe including saying something like,

    "I'm a person and what you really need is a diary."
    I recommended she uses a diary on six occasions to no avail, I think the easiest way (for me at least) is to leave her without closure.

  7. #7

    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Thanks for the advice guys.

  8. #8
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGayGayGay View Post
    …, but also realised I should probably talk to her now and tell her I don't think we should be friends,'We've gone in different directions, etc, etc'.
    Yeah, you probably should. But don't get sucked into a "Baww! Bu I need closure!" game.

  9. #9
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    Yeah, you probably should. But don't get sucked into a "Baww! Bu I need closure!" game.
    She can get some closure from the Closure Boutique at the mall. If she gets there at closing time.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  10. #10
    Senior Member flailer's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    She can get some closure from the Closure Boutique at the mall. If she gets there at closing time.
    UR such a bad ass! LOL. works for me.
    If misery loves company; Happiness requires Bachelorhood

    p.s. i resent being a "senior member" - I'm not that old, or am I?

  11. #11

    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    She can get some closure from the Closure Boutique at the mall. If she gets there at closing time.
    Well I finally told her, she kept on asking me to go into details about why, I just told her I feel like our relationship has run its course and I don't want to sour our past friendship. She was really eager to drag it out, but I left her with that.

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    In all honesty I would tell her to fuck off. She is literally asking for it. Maybe I´m vindictive, but wouldn´t it feel good saying that to someone who has used you emotionally?

  13. #13
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    I think you have handled as best you could given the circumstances. Don't need to explain your position as a man when continued relationship with her is doing harm to your own well being.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: Saying Goodbye to an old 'Friend'

    Every man alive needs to love himself enough to NEVER be an emotional tampon for any woman. Women keep people around to have "emotions" with.

    Don't be that guy.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...


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