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  1. #1

    Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    I'm going to preface this by saying that even though some men don't like to advertise that they are MGTOW, I sometimes do. I come as close to saying the actual words as a person possibly can, but without actually saying them. I know there's risk involved in this but I like to keep myself sharp and always have the red pill fresh in my mind

    So, I tend to tell a lot of people that I'm never getting married mainly because I fish for a response if they believe it or not. What I've noticed is that even though some people do believe you, it's always less common than those that don't.

    • "Everyone says that and somehow still ends up the first to get married"
    • "You just haven't met the right person who will sweep you off your feet"
    • "You don't know what will happen in the future" (alluding to number 2, perhaps?)
    • They don't believe it. No reasonable explanation why, they just don't.
    • "If it's not for you, it's not for you"


    My reason for posting this is that I'm looking for what you all think is the most important reason why nobody believes that you can choose not to be married.

    1. Is the gynocentric nature of society so strong that everyone is always in uproar when a man tries to go against it?
    2. Is it really true that men say that and always succumb to a female and end up getting married? Is that a rite of passage in our civilization, for men to rebel against marriage and then a woman conquers him?
    3. Is it because they believe that a wife with genuinely improve your life / you require a wife for completeness
    4. Misery loves company
    5. As a defense mechanism - they need re-affirmation that they are doing the right thing themselves by forcing other people to do the same.
    6. -Insert reason here-


    Any answers/ thoughts?

  2. #2

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    I just turned 60....... if they did not believe me before I think they believe me now.
    "To marry means to halve oneís rights and double oneís duties" - Arthur Schopenhauer "
    "A bachelor is a man who didnít make the same mistake once."

  3. #3

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    6. Many people just respond with average things to say to things like this, unless they themselves have somehow been energized by life experience to reveal any degree of passion they possess for a topic one way or the other. Then, you might actually hear them speaking, instead of them channeling what they hear.

    I believe many people do not really invest in the conversations they have, unless it affects them personally, and then only maybe. But, Lord, do they love to channel.
    I'm trying to understand this: are you implying that they are giving that answer because it's the 'socially acceptable' answer but given an actual choice or an ability to show exactly what they really think, they'll choose differently?

  4. #4
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    A lot of people still think you won't be happy unless married. Some people think men will die unless they have a wife as well. People are stupid.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut View Post
    I'm trying to understand this: are you implying that they are giving that answer because it's the 'socially acceptable' answer but given an actual choice or an ability to show exactly what they really think, they'll choose differently?
    Yes.

    But, I don't necessarily think that they are particularly insecure and seeking social approval in the things that they say, or are petty for their response. Rather, they are merely not seeking controversy at the moment and they achieve this by not volunteering to say anything unexpected that might draw attention away from the other person and onto themselves because, really and truly, they don't give a shit about the conversation. There's just no point in being obvious about that. So, they throw out a bromide or two. It fills the air with words, fulfills their obligation to participate in the conversation, doesn't hurt anyone one way or the other, and is pretty safe thing to say. This, I feel, is a choice people make in conversation, and it doesn't have to make them bad.

    However, bromides do not often land well on their recipients, if the recipients are analytical or actually listening. Like me.

    I used to think it made these people bad. I spent way too much of my youth suffering because I actually believed that people meant what they said or they would not speak! Then, when I might ask them further, they would change their response. At some point, I wised up. They changed their response not always because I made them think about it but that they now saw their first response was causing me discomfort so they want to dissolve my discomfort. Whatever kernel of truth it was that I was seeking to glean got lost in the whole interaction.

    I have had to learn how to approach people to engage their cooperation to unpack the things that they say. Otherwise, they bob and weave until they know the path is safe. It's just how people are.
    Last edited by Unboxxed; January 7, 2019 at 3:20 AM.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org

  6. #6

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Yes.

    But, I don't necessarily think that they are particularly insecure and seeking social approval in the things that they say, or are petty for their response. Rather, they are merely not seeking controversy at the moment and they achieve this by not volunteering to say anything unexpected that might draw attention away from the other person and onto themselves because, really and truly, they don't give a shit about the conversation. There's just no point in being obvious about that. So, they throw out a bromide or two. It fills the air with words, fulfills their obligation to participate in the conversation, doesn't hurt anyone one way or the other, and is pretty safe thing to say. This, I feel, is a choice people make in conversation, and it doesn't have to make them bad.

    However, bromides do not often land well on their recipients, if the recipients are analytical or actually listening. Like me.

    I used to think it made these people bad. I spent way too much of my youth suffering because I actually believed that people meant what they said or they would not speak! Then, when I might ask them further, they would change their response. At some point, I wised up. They changed their response not always because I made them think about it but that they now saw their first response was causing me discomfort so they want to dissolve my discomfort. Whatever kernel of truth it was that I was seeking to glean got lost in the whole interaction.

    I have had to learn how to approach people to engage their cooperation to unpack the things that they say. Otherwise, they bob and weave until they know the path is safe. It's just how people are.
    So you think that people are capable of independent thought and aren't just following along with things like lemmings but instead, if you are able enough, you could get them to show said independent thought? That's actually not a bad way to live.

  7. #7

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Yes.

    But, I don't necessarily think that they are particularly insecure and seeking social approval in the things that they say, or are petty for their response. Rather, they are merely not seeking controversy at the moment and they achieve this by not volunteering to say anything unexpected that might draw attention away from the other person and onto themselves because, really and truly, they don't give a shit about the conversation. There's just no point in being obvious about that. So, they throw out a bromide or two. It fills the air with words, fulfills their obligation to participate in the conversation, doesn't hurt anyone one way or the other, and is pretty safe thing to say. This, I feel, is a choice people make in conversation, and it doesn't have to make them bad.

    However, bromides do not often land well on their recipients, if the recipients are analytical or actually listening. Like me.

    I used to think it made these people bad. I spent way too much of my youth suffering because I actually believed that people meant what they said or they would not speak! Then, when I might ask them further, they would change their response. At some point, I wised up. They changed their response not always because I made them think about it but that they now saw their first response was causing me discomfort so they want to dissolve my discomfort. Whatever kernel of truth it was that I was seeking to glean got lost in the whole interaction.

    I have had to learn how to approach people to engage their cooperation to unpack the things that they say. Otherwise, they bob and weave until they know the path is safe. It's just how people are.
    Just using the term "bromides" in a conversation is worthy of an up vote all by itself. I agree that dispensing bromides is the safe, easy course of action when people are conversing. The speaker can avoid putting any mental effort into saying something worthwhile and the bromides, as you point out, rarely offend. Unless of course the listener is actually listening and inclined towards analytical thought. I refuse to utter bromides, and that may be why few people will talk to me in the real world. Conversations with people often get cut short, possibly because carrying on an actual conversation is too much work for many people and possibly too risky as they might either say something offensive or, worse yet, hear something that offends them or possibly makes them think.
    I doubt this is anything new in the human condition. The anesthetic effect of TV and smartphones may well have reduced most people's capacity to converse, so carrying on a real conversation is then a burden for them.

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    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut View Post
    So you think that people are capable of independent thought and aren't just following along with things like lemmings but instead, if you are able enough, you could get them to show said independent thought? That's actually not a bad way to live.
    Yes.

    They may follow along like lemmings on some things, but they should have reasons for this that would make sense to you, if you knew of them, even if their reasons would not be your reasons or mine.

    Consider again the person who throws you a bromide because he is not wanting to delve into it.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org

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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Women have been taught from puberty that they have the irresistible elixir right between their legs. Men want them and will do anything to get in their pants. They even trade cautionary tales about how strong the vagina voodoo is. A man that can resist is a serious threat to the normal order of things. The whole world turns upside down if the slaves walk off the plantation.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Manfred's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut View Post
    They don't believe it. No reasonable explanation why, they just don't.
    There is an uncomfortable awareness that usually people dont stand on their life-long decisions, neither think it through before making them.

    "Never say never" usually applies in people's experience. Therefore they will take any life-long claim with a grain of salt, especially if it is a common thing. You might say "I will never see TV", and the attitude would be the same.

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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    I've had a somewhat similar experience. Most people who ask me if I'm married or plan to be, after my response of "Good god NO," will immediately chime in with something along the lines of "Oh, that's too bad" or "Oh, you should, you'd be so happy", etc. If we carry the conversation any further or go any deeper into the subject, most people will lament that they agree that marriage isn't a great idea for everyone. Some will tell a story of how marriage was terrible for them, even after telling me I should get married. I think it's just a societal thing to immediately say something pro-marriage.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Freeman Rourke View Post
    I've had a somewhat similar experience. Most people who ask me if I'm married or plan to be, after my response of "Good god NO," will immediately chime in with something along the lines of "Oh, that's too bad" or "Oh, you should, you'd be so happy", etc. If we carry the conversation any further or go any deeper into the subject, most people will lament that they agree that marriage isn't a great idea for everyone. Some will tell a story of how marriage was terrible for them, even after telling me I should get married. I think it's just a societal thing to immediately say something pro-marriage.
    Hi Freeman,

    You currently have 2 posts. Your Intro had some info in it but, as you acknowledged there, it was brief. Please go back to the New Member Intros, read the sticky How To Intro, and edit your Intro to make it more complete. We all had to write one.

    Thank you very much.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org

  13. #13
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by ABigSiameseCat View Post
    I doubt this is anything new in the human condition. The anesthetic effect of TV and smartphones may well have reduced most people's capacity to converse, so carrying on a real conversation is then a burden for them.
    I agree, its not new. Somewhere around the house I have a paper where I had written down my thoughts around this, when my thoughts were new and this being before the internet.

    You know how when someone burps, it's a sound emanating from their throat but it doesn't carry intelligent meaning? Well, I wrote a short essay saying that people also burp words. Complete words. Strings of words, in fact. Strings of words that otherwise might convey an intelligent message except for the fact that the person on this occasion was burping them, so they carried no useful meaning. Brain burps. And how the recipient of these burped words will not know that its a word burp and therefore nothing to think about. Burped words are dangerous, therefore, because they are as useless as a bromide but not recognized as one. So, they may be acted upon by the recipient, to the recipient's detriment. I think the most obvious ones later became known as brain farts. Burped words may not ever be obvious to the giver or the receiver, except to a cynic like me who claims he can recognize them within a few minutes of being spoken. LOL.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org

  14. #14
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    I agree, its not new. Somewhere around the house I have a paper where I had written down my thoughts around this, when my thoughts were new and this being before the internet.

    You know how when someone burps, it's a sound emanating from their throat but it doesn't carry intelligent meaning? Well, I wrote a short essay saying that people also burp words. Complete words. Strings of words, in fact. Strings of words that otherwise might convey an intelligent message except for the fact that the person on this occasion was burping them, so they carried no useful meaning. And how the recipient of these burped words will not know that its a word burp and therefore nothing to think about. Burped words are dangerous, therefore, because they are as useless as a bromide but not recognized as one. So, they may be acted upon by the recipient, to the recipient's detriment. I think the most obvious ones later became known as brain farts. Burped words may not ever be obvious to the giver or the receiver, except to a cynic like me who claims he can recognize them within a few minutes of being spoken. LOL.
    Exactly it's just small talk or shit talking. Like when the cashier at a grocery store asks how you are, they don't care. If you told them you were depressed as fuck they wouldn't know how to process it. They just want you to burp something in return like "I'm ok, thanks".

    Same as this kind of thing. People just saying what they think needs or should be said. I call it "life by numbers" when someone thinks it is all so obvious what everyone else should be doing. Other examples are "When are you having kids? Why don't you want kids? What do you mean you don't like football?" a classic one I used to get was "What's wrong, you're not drinkin'?" as if not drinking indicates some kind of emotional disturbance.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    I think this has been covered by others but most people you encounter are literally zombies floating through life. For example, work, dinner, tv, sleep, repeat. So when you come along having this free time and throwing out these nuggets of freedom they think you are not telling the truth.

    Most of the slaves are aware they are plugged in and they do not want to be taken out of the system.

    If you don't like that analogy the more common analogy is that most want to stay in the cave knowing there is a world outside the cave. Staying in a cave or having a routine is indeed a survival mechanism but a very limiting one if you examine that it is no longer needed for modern humanity.

  16. #16

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Morlock View Post
    a classic one I used to get was "What's wrong, you're not drinkin'?" as if not drinking indicates some kind of emotional disturbance.
    This one is insanely prevalent where I'm from. Something as to be wrong with you if you choose not to drink. My country prides itself on a person being able to drink more than others. It's a massive ego boost and a marker for masculinity in my culture. And they laugh when someone is making a fool of themselves whilst drunk. The glorification of debauchery.
    When they fail at something, they drink to drown their sorrow.
    When they succeed at something, they drink to celebrate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Azure Nomad View Post
    If you don't like that analogy the more common analogy is that most want to stay in the cave knowing there is a world outside the cave. Staying in a cave or having a routine is indeed a survival mechanism but a very limiting one if you examine that it is no longer needed for modern humanity.
    Plato's cave.
    I'm familiar with it. The current 'groupthink' strategy has the same principle. Anyone who leaves the group and becomes enlightened cannot choose to return because everyone nowadays has surrounded themselves in these caves that only project what they want to see, echo chambers and if you attempt to show the error of their ways and lead them to enlightenment, you are met with disdain and contempt.
    This is why the current MRA strategy (or even the current right-wing strategy) doesn't work.
    If it were up to me, I would drown the fuckers in the cave.
    If you believe everything you hear is a lie, you have a 100% lie detection rate.
    The opposite holds true but I would rather be surprised by the truth than a lie.

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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Juggernaut View Post
    This one is insanely prevalent where I'm from. Something as to be wrong with you if you choose not to drink. My country prides itself on a person being able to drink more than others. It's a massive ego boost and a marker for masculinity in my culture. And they laugh when someone is making a fool of themselves whilst drunk. The glorification of debauchery.
    When they fail at something, they drink to drown their sorrow.
    When they succeed at something, they drink to celebrate.



    Plato's cave.
    I'm familiar with it. The current 'groupthink' strategy has the same principle. Anyone who leaves the group and becomes enlightened cannot choose to return because everyone nowadays has surrounded themselves in these caves that only project what they want to see, echo chambers and if you attempt to show the error of their ways and lead them to enlightenment, you are met with disdain and contempt.
    This is why the current MRA strategy (or even the current right-wing strategy) doesn't work.
    If it were up to me, I would drown the fuckers in the cave.
    Not Aussie by any chance?

  18. #18

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Morlock View Post
    Not Aussie by any chance?
    Nah but the world is pretty much heading the same place anyways so I'm pretty sure it's happening everywhere at the same time.
    If you believe everything you hear is a lie, you have a 100% lie detection rate.
    The opposite holds true but I would rather be surprised by the truth than a lie.

  19. #19

    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Is the gynocentric nature of society so strong that everyone is always in uproar when a man tries to go against it?
    I do not think it's the gynocentric culture so much as it is externally validating ones self-worth by ones ability to pair. Biologically speaking there's some merit to this.

    Is it really true that men say that and always succumb to a female and end up getting married?
    Given who and what we are down here: No. But those who validate their selfworth to being with a "significant" other will do so any way they can. Even if it means pairing with someone they do not feel comfortable with. Even if it means pairing with your own gender. Irony, isn't it - that it is socially more acceptable to be homosexual then asexual.

    Is that a rite of passage in our civilization, for men to rebel against marriage and then a woman conquers him?
    I do not see it. From what I've observed about human courting behavior, it's the woman who wants to be chased and conquered. Not the man. Marriage is just the affirmation to society that courting and pairing is complete. If anything, it appear the women who are rebelling against marriage by breaking away from it willy-nilly.

    Is it because they believe that a wife with genuinely improve your life / you require a wife for completeness
    Well, it is my firm belief that no action is taken by anyone, without a perceived benefit to self. But whether it is personal or social improvement that is the primary reason, I cannot say.

    Misery loves company
    Only a masochist would use this as valid reason.
    Shame is a womans primary weapon. Watch for it, and call it out wherever you see it. Few women know how to handle a man immune to shame.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Alik Sakharov's Avatar
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    Re: Why do people think it's a lie when you tell them that you're never getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Yes.

    But, I don't necessarily think that they are particularly insecure and seeking social approval in the things that they say, or are petty for their response. Rather, they are merely not seeking controversy at the moment and they achieve this by not volunteering to say anything unexpected that might draw attention away from the other person and onto themselves because, really and truly, they don't give a shit about the conversation. There's just no point in being obvious about that. So, they throw out a bromide or two. It fills the air with words, fulfills their obligation to participate in the conversation, doesn't hurt anyone one way or the other, and is pretty safe thing to say. This, I feel, is a choice people make in conversation, and it doesn't have to make them bad.

    However, bromides do not often land well on their recipients, if the recipients are analytical or actually listening. Like me.

    I used to think it made these people bad. I spent way too much of my youth suffering because I actually believed that people meant what they said or they would not speak! Then, when I might ask them further, they would change their response. At some point, I wised up. They changed their response not always because I made them think about it but that they now saw their first response was causing me discomfort so they want to dissolve my discomfort. Whatever kernel of truth it was that I was seeking to glean got lost in the whole interaction.

    I have had to learn how to approach people to engage their cooperation to unpack the things that they say. Otherwise, they bob and weave until they know the path is safe. It's just how people are.
    Potassium bromide is actually a sedative and i love it !
    You cant keep a player down!
    Dont hate him , hate your fuking bullshit game !


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