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  1. #1

    Observations on socializing...

    Disclaimer: This post might be all over the place, as I just created on my phone, as a "stream of consciousness" type thing.

    Going mgtow has been life changing, needless to say. Its helped me avoid a lot of bs and drama created by interacting with women. Its also an eye opener to
    people overall, regardless of gender.

    When you're red pilled, you realize that all social interactions operate within a transactional framework. I find this to be especially accurate when applied to people within my age group (30's), even more so with younger people. This could generally apply to all ages, but its a lot more rampant among us thirty-somethings and younger. I guess our generations are infected by the "too cool for school/Im kind of a big deal on social media" mindset. Also, social anxiety/awkwardness tends to be stronger with us.

    I understand that socializing gets to be a little more challenging in your thirties, seeing as how people get more cemented in their life paths. Family types stick to their own environment. Single career types tend to associate closely/exclusively with like minded individuals as well.

    As an aside: Through my childhood in the 80s/90s I never heard of "social anxiety" being a thing. Therefore, ill go out on a limb and hypothesize that it's linked to the evolution of the internet (and its profound impact on society) over the last couple decades.

    Back to my point: Ive always been a loner type, getting involved with a fleeting social circle here and there. Furthermore, I always felt more comfortable around older people, while feeling more self conscious around my age group. Making those types of friends seems to be an increasingly elusive task. Add red pilled values in the mix, and prospective friendships dwindle even further.

    In the last year, Ive started exploring social groups on meetup.com. When you eliminate groups revolving around drinking or physical activities, the options get smaller still. I avoid coed meetups as well, so its getting to the point where seeking social interaction is pointless.

    I understand going mgtow involves being comfortable with loneliness, and emphasis should be placed on self actualization. As long as Im building my career, focusing on hobbies, I may or may not cross paths with people who hold similar values. Either way it should not matter, as its just icing on the cake, while embarking on the path to self actualization. My current situation gets pretty tricky in regards to personal and professional standings, as Im currently stricken with yet another existential crisis. (these seem to be a re occurring theme in my life now and again, as Im sure thats the way of life). Certain physical and financial circumstances have put my long standing passion and livelihood on hiatus. Perhaps that is a topic for a future post.

  2. #2
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    Mgthrowaway, did you realize that you posted this, your 6th message, in the New Member Intros subforum? It's only for Intros, such as the one you had provided last Oct 2018:

    http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow...im-home-11266/

    I mention this also for our existing members so they will not interpret this, your thread here, as a substandard Intro and rightly get on your case for it.

    You'll want to avoid this New Member Intros subforum for future posts.

    Perhaps a Moderator will see this thread and move it to the appropriate sub-forum.

    Thank you.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  3. #3
    Moderator sirreaper's Avatar
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    Quote Originally Posted by Unboxxed View Post
    Mgthrowaway, did you realize that you posted this, your 6th message, in the New Member Intros subforum? It's only for Intros, such as the one you had provided last Oct 2018:

    http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow...im-home-11266/

    I mention this also for our existing members so they will not interpret this, your thread here, as a substandard Intro and rightly get on your case for it.

    You'll want to avoid this New Member Intros subforum for future posts.

    Perhaps a Moderator will see this thread and move it to the appropriate sub-forum.

    Thank you.
    Yeah that's on me, musta been my tired work eyes. I moved it here because I didnt recognize the name and it looked half like an intro. Ill move it back to the lounge.
    SR

    BED. MADE. LIE.

    Pussy is and will always be transitory. You'll get it when you can and enjoy life anyway when you can't.

    The harder I work, the luckier I get~ Tom Leykis

    Never married no kids

    Never will marry

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    How I became a MGTOW;

    https://youtu.be/0_W9-kutxqE
    https://youtu.be/OEjgTC2swNk
    https://youtu.be/BdXKgefITC4

  4. #4
    Senior Member Boar's Avatar
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    MgThrowaway, I think one thing you will also observe among people is the level of their personal development. In short, the more the person achieves their own self-actualization, the less affirmation they need from others. These are the people that are comfortable with their own company, decisions and self-evaluations. You may see that many people never get past the need for others' affirmations. Their personal development has stopped cold, as they cannot see themselves apart from others. I have found that people will be at different stages regardless of their age.

    Think of the gossips, the malcontents, the socialites, the narcissists in your life. These folks need the socialization of others to know themselves. In the words of Bukowski: Beware of those that seek constant crowds, they are nothing alone. These same people are threatened by individuals who have the strength and perception to go their own way.

    I have found that MGTOW is a valid path to that self-actualization. If you are accepting of who and what you are, you will never be lonely. If you are like those stunted individuals, you can be surrounded by people but you will always be lonely.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    Once you realize the transactional nature of most human relationships, especially contact with females, your loneliness will slowly evolve into blessed solitude.
    Now for that intro!!
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  6. #6

    Re: Observations on socializing...

    Yeah, good point. Even in MGTOW/red pill corners theres still a considerable frequency of naysayers, regarding solitude and social isolation. However, when a redpilled individual goes about socializing, theyre faced with unnecessary exposure to bluepill environments (Id go out on a limb and say the vast majority of the male population is blue pilled). It then seems counterproductive to even bother. Thats why doing my own thing seems to be a more efficient management of my time, all the while living up to the acronym.

  7. #7
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    There's bikers who don't associate with people who don't ride. Not many, but some. Not my thing though. Friends, like gold, are where you find them. Specially in a small town. They can be a blue pill as they like, long as they don't preach. Hell, long ago near everybody was blue pill. That's all there was.

    I don't seem to need friends quite as much as I used to, but they are still damn important to me. It's not just companionship. My best friends are kind of like an identity or an exclusive club. A bit of a safety blanket too. I don't use their services unless I have to, but if I need something, all I got to do is ask. Of course I cant say no either, but that's the price you pay. Fair weather friends are no friends at all.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  8. #8
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    Your observations are spot on. The idea of social anxiety and all this other crap only really sprung up within the last 20 years as a result of the expansion of the psychological disorders. The majority of them are absolute bullshit because there's no hard evidence to prove anything and a good liar/actor can fool pretty much everybody. This soft psychiatry is pure nonsense because as long as you are a functional (of which only you can define) person, it doesn't matter.

    If you're looking for a connection, you can't connect with everyone on everything. That's impossible. It's also impossible to connect with some people on some things. If you connect with one person about one thing in your mutual lives, just ONE thing that you have in common, then that is sufficient. Multiply that by the amount of things that you are interested in and you end up with a network. Just like that. Of course, you can only talk about that one thing to that particular person.
    Look at this place. We are here where the only thing that basically binds us is MGTOW. We live in different cultures, speak different languages, look differently etc. We can't connect on any of these, but we can connect through MGTOW. And that is enough.
    If you believe everything you hear is a lie, you have a 100% lie detection rate.
    The opposite holds true but I would rather be surprised by the truth than a lie.

    Women can attack you as much as they want but are you really allowed to fight back? This place seems to think that you aren't.

  9. #9
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    I have always been socially awkward since childhood. I have never cared about what I can get from someone and wanting to be their friend just to be in their social circle or whatever. I have never done well in management roles because of my lack of sucking up either but that is fine because unless you want to keep working your way up or changing jobs every few months those positions suck.

    In your last paragraph you mention that MGTOW is about being ok with loneliness. I guess it's a matter of perspective. I don't feel alone or lonely when I am alone. I like it, always have. I feel lonely when I am around others, I feel most alone when I am around others. I dislike having to make inane chit chat and playing the game.

    Again, it depends on the person but I don't think many MGTOW would say that they feel lonely. Maybe I am getting hung up on semantics.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Observations on socializing...

    Social anxiety stems from trying to follow what others do in social situations and caring about the outcome from others. When you try to apply an approach in a social setting that is not congruent with how you view the world it will fail. When you are thinking more about how others view you instead of how you view the world through your lens you will fail.

    Shift the frame from what others do and think to what you should do and what you think. It is okay to have an ego just don't let it overwhelm you from time to time.

    To be truly lonely you have to be isolated. And isolation stems from lack of options which is often the case if you are stuck in massive debt or a bad marriage.


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