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  1. #1
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    How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    The truth is the game is harmful for all men. Handsome,ugly,short,tall,losers,successful. There is no winning. More and more guys that I hang out with have realised that there is something really wrong going on with women today. And you guys have no idea how nasty and calculating women behind their boyfriend's backs are. I travel a lot throughout the day and I overhear many conversations of young women on trains , in parks and other public areas. All they talk about is men and how to manipulate them. Specifically most of them advice the others on how to play games with men. "He wants to come and see you? Gee, just tell him you can't, that will show him" or "I'm ignoring his text and he's gone mad, he he he he).

    The love element on women's side is gone. The only "love" they can experience is vanity related. They go crazy about scumbags that treat them like dirt, only to lose interest in them when they finally manage to make them fall in love with them. Job done, ego is stroked. Next target. Meanwhile all good guys with prospects and value(money,social dominance) are only used for manipulation.And certainly while I've read most of the red pill theories, I cannot believe for one second that evolution is responsible for that. You see, men and women were designed to be together. Our make up in all levels is made up in such way that we fit together. Before all this shit started to happen(somewhere around WW2) , men and women had been together relatively harmoniously for a very long time. Each chose the other based on what person they were and both worked hard to survive , thrive and pass that to the next generation. If you take a child from its parents and throw it in the jungle it will grow up to be feral. This is what's happening today with women. And certainly social media only fuel even more the problem , making women unbelievably narcissistic and self absorbed, to the point that they lose touch with reality.

    Personally I never had a problem getting laid. The thing is getting laid is BULLSHIT. Yea it's fun but you need to bond with someone after a while. And fuck all these dating coach assholes that blame men for the problem. "You are needy bro, the problem is with you" . This is bullshit. Men aren't needy. They are going insane because women are refusing to do their part anymore . Every man I know has become needy with a woman , especially a woman he loved , because he realised he isn't getting any love back. To blame men for something women do is enterily wrong. If your woman goes out gets drunk and does an orgy with 2 guys and you get mad , you aren't needy. She has betrayed you and you feel justified anger. If a woman refuses to love you after how much you invest in her, you aren't needy, you're devastated.

    And I've also seen everything. Every nasty thing the "virtuous" gender should never do. Most, if not all, the women I've dated had a boyfriend or another guy invested in them. Then I came in the picture and "stole" them . Of course none said anything about that. I realised only after many months. And I've seen a lot of whack things. Men fucking someones girlfriend, cumming in her mouth, and telling her to go kiss her boyfriend in the mouth type of thing. Also even if you play the game and apply every rule like some calculating psycho , the woman will fuck some other guy. It's not that he's better than you....don't believe that. You might be perfect, romantic , mysterious , high value , adventurous and she will get bored. You can apply every principle and she will leave you. Each time she is exposed to you your charms are slightly nulled , till she's immune. Then the bum next door that lays all day in the couch will be more attractive than you.
    You cannot have a relationship on these terms. Women refuse to move past the first infatuation stage. This phenomenon has started those two last generations. You can never see that happening in history. Except with some whackos.

    My point is , how do you guys cope with that? How do you cope with the feeling that you will be never loved by a woman? Something that is totally NORMAL for a human being to expect. Certainly I've been helped a LOT by meditation. Learning to control your desires and not be a slave to them is one good part of it. Also some friends of mine, even if not red pill aware, they are opting out of the game. Many many guys out there don't even know what MGTOW is and they are opting out. The biggest danger in all that is that it makes you vulnerable for a woman pretending to be a "NAWALT" . And if you fall for that(there is no way to tell between a real NAWALT and a fake one) and you believe that you found the one , you are in for a big suffering....
    Last edited by Niceguy_chad; April 11, 2019 at 8:38 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member AdTheBad's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Personally, I simply ignore it and do something else more productive.
    Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate. Zhuangzi

    someone asked the poet Sophocles: "How are you in regard to sex, Sophocles? Can you still make love to a woman?" Hush man, the poet replied, I am very glad to have escaped from this, like a slave who has escaped from a mad and cruel master."

    Dont worry about me. Worry about why you're worried about me.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Well, to answer your question... in a word, MGTOW. MGTOW is the only solution. The only way to win at this game is not to play.

    You've made some excellent observations. Allow me to explain what has happened. Feminism has destroyed male/female relationships. Feminism has told women they do not need men, and that men are violent, abusive and oppressive to women. Feminism told women that to be a successful woman you should never rely on a man. Feminism has told women to have power like men, you need to act like men. Women are sexually free now thanks to, firstly, the pill but the abandonment of the female policing of female sexuality. There is no family, no church, no community, no peer group pressure to be sexually chaste or at least somewhat moral. Women are "free" now to fuck like men. They fuck like men, they drink like men, they smoke like men and they work like men at their cubicle jobs. (No corner office for every gal like feminism promised). So, women go on Tinder and fuck high-value / high SMV Chad cock (because Chads can be lazy and fuck women beneath them just for something to do). Now these women believe this is their new standard for a male partner. Their former equals, equal in pay, equal in status and equal in SMV, are creepy, disgusting and beneath them now. So, here is how you sum that up:

    Feminism has unleashed the innate narcissism of females and caused it to become malignant, resulting in women, as a gender, going feral.

    The irony? Women, like men who smoke and drink, are getting lung and breast cancer and heart disease at unprecedented rates. Female BMI is rising and the vast majority of women are overweight. The pill has caused a bunch of psychological problems that no psychologist will touch with a ten-foot pole. Females are sexually free, but now 80% of women are carrying unprecedented numbers of STDs (20% of the male population as well... hmmm... Seems like there is ONE drawback to being a Chad!). Women are having children out of wedlock, and have child support, alimony, homes from divorce proceedings, welfare and affirmative action hiring practices. Women in North America have every advantage you can imagine and are doing "better" than any group of women in human history. Except one little problem.

    They are completely miserable, and their happiness has been declining steadily since feminism started it's social engineering experiment 50 years ago.

    Heres a short list of the "You can Have it All" that feminism has ACTUALLY given women.

    1. The right to work hard in a (sometimes dead end) cubicle job, and work punishing hours to complete for promotions.
    2. The conflict of wanting to have a family and balance family life with the realities of corporate ladder climbing.
    3. Heart disease, lung cancer and breast cancer from "free living" - booze, drugs, smoking and fatty foods.
    4. A plethora of Thundercock in their twenties, leaving them with STDs and destroying their ability to form intimate relationships.
    5. An exaggerated sense of their sexual market value (SMV) because of access to higher SMV men on the digital meat market (Tinder, etc.)
    6. Inability to find a "suitable, responsible, good earning, father type" to settle down with for the "Baby Years", after leaving or being kicked off the cock carousel.
    7. The rigors of divorce, which other women tell them is not that difficult, actually affects women too. Many regret breaking up their families.
    8. Divorced, with kids from previous relationships and the marriage, they go on to look for men to wife them up. Tough sell.
    9. Or, they come off the corporate ladder, haggard and well used, looking 10-15 years older than their age, looking to start a family.
    10. Their frozen eggs, once thawed, are non-viable. They cannot have children now, unless they adopt.

    So, you see, our feral feminist women have all the answers. You can't tell them a goddamned thing. The cognitive dissonance washes over them as they ignore their own dissatisfaction and dismay and continue to try and be men - to act stoic, and be sexually promiscuous, and competitive with not just their female counterparts but men as well. They have fallen in line and obeyed their feminist Neo-Liberal overlords, and drank their Kool-Aid to the last drop.

    They believed the lie that feminism promised: That they could have it all.

    Well, in a way they do have it all. All of the pressures of being a woman, plus all of the pressures of being a man. And their life expectancy is dropping as quickly as their unhappiness. While this dumpster fire burns on, and it's effects spread to greater society, the smart men know that the only way to win is to not play the game. Congratulations on your newfound Red-Pilled vision of the world. It is the real, actual state of affairs. Sorry, it's shitty. But, at least it's the truth. The paths we are on are all different. The only commonality is we're spreading outward, away from the hive, en masse, simultaneously. We are being shamed for doing this - the old traditional expectations of men never went away. This is part of women having it all. New power, freedom and privilege for them, and men pick up the tab and still are expected to provide for these (feral) women and pay for the fallout of their promiscuity, hedonism and tribalism.

    MGTOW is the only way for men today.
    Last edited by Insidious_Sid; April 11, 2019 at 7:58 PM.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  4. #4
    Senior Member Don Keyknob's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Niceguy_chad View Post

    And you guys have no idea how nasty and calculating women behind their boyfriend's backs are.

    Of course we do. Relationships/ONS's/Girlfriends/Fiance's/Wives.....we know it all too well, my friend.

    Most of us know what's going to happen long before it happens. We've all been there and bought the T-Shirt.

    You cope with it by knowing the truth. Know Thy Enemy. The majority of men heading into relationships are going to get screwed over. It's just a matter of when and how. You deal with it by realising that you are playing a rigged game and by knowing that the odds are against you.

    The only way to win is by not playing.

    There probably are decent women out there that are worth having. One's that will enhance your life. The chances of you finding one is getting smaller year by year. The chances of you finding one AND her wanting you back - even smaller.

    You were lied to. We ALL were.

  5. #5

    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    You are fine as long as you invest in her less than she invest in you, wheter is financially or emotionally.

  6. #6
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Welcome to the site, N_c. Nice post, and I agree with pretty much all of it. You asked how to deal with how things are with women today. ATB is spot-on, imo: Stay busy. But I also think a lot of it has to do with managing your own expectations. You already know the truth; that's evident in your post. In other words, you have what's known as mental assent.

    However, the next step is absorbing it into your very being, to the point where expectations of Happily Ever After With A Woman can no longer find a foothold anywhere within your emotional framework. There are lots of videos on Youtube that will help you grow in this regard. Many are strictly MGTOW, e.g. Coach Greg Adams. Many more lie on the periphery of MGTOW but do often intersect with it, e.g. Coach Red Pill, who is by no means MGTOW but does embrace some of its tenets as necessary components of a well-lived life.

    Another bit of advice I can offer is to stay away from mainstream/pop entertainment, which has always pushed a romanticized (and therefore dangerous) version of reality. Consume enough of it, and it'll define your reality, and eventually make you feel like there's something wrong with you because the things you've experienced, and the things you've seen (and will see) other men experience, don't line up with that romanticized message.

    Then watch out for commercialism's constant portrayal of average people as loving couples. Commercialism is everywhere we look today; ads are everywhere. And they're full of "Buy this for your girlfriend; she'll love you for it." Sometimes the messages are subliminal: "He went to Jared" implies that if you didn't, you just didn't care about your girlfriend or wife, and so you're a second-rate male. Anyway, their goal is to closely associate gift-buying with being in a rewarding exclusive relationship. But most people are too dim-witted to realize that rewarding exclusive relationships simply do not exist -- not for the long term.

    You have to be careful even when looking at ad photos: for example, a young couple smiling at each other. Never mind the text or audio message that goes along with it; the photo itself is subliminal and can make you feel like an outsider if you permit the implied lie to overtake you.

    And then finally, realize that you (and we) are at the forefront of male/female relationships. In that sense, we're an elite group. We're at the cutting edge of something that society has yet even to recognize, let alone explain (or dismiss, which will never work). We aren't easily fooled, we don't compromise, we refuse to be criticized and shamed, and we have facts and statistics and logic on our side.

    Hope this helps a bit. Again, welcome.

  7. #7
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Niceguy_chad View Post

    My point is , how do you guys cope with that? How do you cope with the feeling that you will be never loved by a woman? Something that is totally NORMAL for a human being to expect.
    If this is a sociology test, you put your thesis question in the right spot. I say test because I find it hard that a Chad would become red pilled because a few sluts wont pay him the attention he wants. There are nicer girls.

    But to answer your question, I have been with the nice girls, and still got kicked in the teeth when I was the most vunerable. They don't offer the love I want, they offer a parasitic love that only benefits them. I did the best a blue pill beta could hope for in the current feminist world, and still find women not worth the risk

    If you and your friends are able to come to the red pill without all the scars from women and state, then I applaud you

  8. #8
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Hahaha, yes, the "popular media" portrayal of the happy couple, doing dishes together and bonding and experiencing joy because of how shiny their dishes are... lol.

    She's an 8.5 dressed down to a six in librarian shoes, khaki Capri pants, and a white collar-shirt under a sweater.
    He's a six, with unkempt hair, and a dorky beta-male disposition.

    This couple does not exist in real life, or if it did, she's cheating on him and planning the divorce.

    I don't watch TV anymore (I use Netflix and watch YouTube content) but when I did, those commercials cracked me up!
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  9. #9

    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Insidious_Sid View Post
    Hahaha, yes, the "popular media" portrayal of the happy couple, doing dishes together and bonding and experiencing joy because of how shiny their dishes are... lol.

    She's an 8.5 dressed down to a six in librarian shoes, khaki Capri pants, and a white collar-shirt under a sweater.
    He's a six, with unkempt hair, and a dorky beta-male disposition.

    This couple does not exist in real life, or if it did, she's cheating on him and planning the divorce.

    I don't watch TV anymore (I use Netflix and watch YouTube content) but when I did, those commercials cracked me up!
    Haha true that and most of all she seems to be happy about being a housewife in humble clothes doing dishes with an average guy.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Insidious_Sid's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    The best one is the swiffer commercial when this very tall Size 1 woman in *high heels* is stomping about her living room dusting a very dusty hardwood floor. lol.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  11. #11
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Don't think for a moment that if you are SMV wise above a woman that she won't cheat. No no no no NO. Absolutely not. Apart from tinder and dating apps , where women take the best deal(or try to, LOL) , in the outside world they are total whackos. I've seen everything. Woman cheating on good looking guy with an older rich guy , woman cheating on older rich guy with a good looking guy. Woman leaving perfect and high smv guy for a toothless meth addict that just got out of jail . Women ignoring high value men for thugs/losers. I've personally experimented with many women. In the long run , there is NOTHING that can satisfy them. You can be perfect, you can try every trick in the book . They will find along the way that "something is just missing" and will drop your ass . It doesn't matter what you do.

    Usually most women are a "5" that thinks it's a "7" and wants a "9" guy. Until then no man is accepted . But once or twice a month they starve and would take a random guy . So lets say she grabs a 4 and fucks him in her car. Now that guy is promoted to , "I can fuck her multiple times in the future" guy. For the little while that it lasts. Then along the way feelings of grandiose start to emerge and she banishes the 4 to start searching for the 9 again.

    Womens standards are bullshit,whack,nada,yada, UNTRUE. 90% of people are average looking and thats the reality of it. You can fit exactly what she claims she wants , only to reject you and bang a loser that meets nobody's standards. All these men desperately trying to self improve to meet their whacko , alien standards . It is sad. Women are dellusional , but they enter slut mode and would fuck total random guys. Meanwhile, having a fantasy in their heads of a perfect guy . Only to find that guy along the way and after 10 years to lose the fantasy and destroy everything , including the family .

    It's a big ball of chaos and randomness that no one is safe from.

    Also tinder and dating apps are a big scam for the simple reason that unless you are Brad Pitt you ain't getting some. The reason? The lovely social proof. You can be above her all you want, she will see that you are there and trying to date and will think that you're a TOTAL LOSER just like her. And then she thinks she's above you . Also by judging the profile looks like it was written by a 3rd grader who barely speaks English, with red flags all over the place, tons of rude, bitter, negative statements, sometimes openly stating they hate men or intend to exploit you, reveal little to nothing about what they are like as a person (sometimes because there is nothing there or something is there that nobody wants), rarely looks at men’s profiles and NEVER responds to them no matter how good looking, alpha-male, rich, great personality, sexy, whatever, the man is.
    Last edited by Niceguy_chad; April 11, 2019 at 9:35 PM.

  12. #12
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    NGC, what was the point you were trying to make with your last post? That women can't be satisfied? You seem rather upset about that. It's not clear where you are in life, but your post sounds a lot more like Trad Con preaching than MGTOW to me. Seriously, why do you care if some female writes a crappy tinder post? So what? Who cares if a dumpy women thinks she is too good to date an average looking man? So what? You come across as still being on the Blue Pill Plantation, still bound by the need to have validation from women. Leaving the plantation means you don't need validation from others.

  13. #13

    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    RE:
    "My point is , how do you guys cope with that? How do you cope with the feeling that you will be never loved by a woman? Something that is totally NORMAL for a human being to expect. Certainly I've been helped a LOT by meditation. Learning to control your desires and not be a slave to them is one good part of it. Also some friends of mine, even if not red pill aware, they are opting out of the game. Many many guys out there don't even know what MGTOW is and they are opting out. The biggest danger in all that is that it makes you vulnerable for a woman pretending to be a "NAWALT" . And if you fall for that(there is no way to tell between a real NAWALT and a fake one) and you believe that you found the one , you are in for a big suffering...."

    You are correct, it is natural to want to be loved by a woman. The companionship you desire died out decades ago, unfortunately. The old saying 'Tis better to have loved and lost' doesn't mean as much as it used to. Nowadays, there are ultimately very expensive consequences that go with having lost - and like many have said the Risk FAR outweighs the reward. So much so, that it becomes a matter of survival then the choice becomes easy. When you feel yourself getting the urge to hook up with a chick, visualize the date going sideways and you have false accusations thrown at you that can possibly destroy you. Same goes for being married - visualize events that have a very high chance of happening, and that should take care of the urge pretty quick. Then have a sandwich and go do things that interest YOU.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Knarley Bob's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Cope? HA!
    I am 60 yrs. now. I have been invisible my entire life. My divorce was in 1988. Cope? Hell, sonny, ya get used to it.
    I evidently have don't have the looks, not the money either. Fancy car? I'll take a SUV any day. Denim is my preferred dress.
    Yes, I have been a "looser" all my life. When I see all the men who are miserable in their world of "bliss" , I really wonder just who is the "Looser"

    Oh, the feeling of never being loved (USED) by a woman? PRICELESS
    As soon as she says "I do", she don't
    MOLON LABE......."Come take them"

  15. #15
    Senior Member Opaque's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    NGC, what was the point you were trying to make with your last post? That women can't be satisfied? You seem rather upset about that
    When you go your own way, you really couldn't give a toss about female validation. Not that it doesn't come up from time to time (because we were raised by our mothers who 'trained' us early on to please them), but you just don't even think about it.

    A woman can try to dick measure you against other men, but you don't even have the energy to think about what the bitch is trying to do. You have bigger fish to fry.

    Come to think of it; you cannot get rid of female or societal validation completely; but you gain 'control' over your instinct to please, we can at least say that after going MGTOW.

  16. #16

    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    The way to cope with it is to assess the situation rationally and come up with a plan. That's the only thing you can do, and it's what men have always done.

    The first thing you have to realize is that women CANNOT add value to our lives anymore. They cannot be good wives, mothers, or even girlfriends, and even if they could they do not want to. If you try to move in with a woman, get married, or have kids with them, they will literally ruin your life. And no, I am not exaggerating. So you have to get any idea of building a happy life with them out of your head completely.

    You have to commit yourself to a life without them...that's probably the hardest part. You can still date them or associate with them in a limited capacity, just know that they will never be loyal, honest, or good. Expecting them to be, or even thinking they can be, will just set you up for a ton of misery and pain later on. Once you accept that, the next thing you have to do is come up with a plan for your life.

    You already know you will not be living with a woman, getting married, or having kids. So what are you going to do with your life? You have to find something else to fill it with. Personally, I focused on getting a good education and establishing myself in a high-paying career. I got that part done, now I am working on building up my finances and ultimately, I want to retire as early as possible in another country, probably the Philippines. But that's just me. Basically, you have to think long and hard about what you want out of life, and then how you are going to get it.

    I should probably mention that hobbies are very important for MGTOW. If you get to know us, you'll find that we all have hobbies we are really into and passionate about. Married men, and men with live-in girlfriends or fiance's, they can't have hobbies. But if you are MGTOW, you can't afford NOT to have hobbies. It isn't just because we have the time, money, and freedom to pursue them. It's because without something to fill our time, to consume our energy and passion, we pretty much go insane. So definitely put some thought into that as well, and if you haven't already, start developing your hobbies, and integrate them into your plan for your life.

    Coming up with a plan for your life is one of the hardest things to do. If you observe the way most people live their lives, it is pretty obvious most of them never had a plan. Life for most people is just a random series of events, which they react to without any intelligent thought, and wherever they end up, that's their life. Needless to say, it doesn't turn out well for most of them. Especially for men.

    Once you come up with a plan for your life and start following it, that's when you'll truly be going your own way. That's when you'll start making progress, and things will start getting better for you. If you fail at that first step, you'll never get anywhere, and you'll always feel the exact same way you do now, except it will get worse. But if you are intelligent, work hard, and never give up, you can still live a great life. But it's up to you to create that for yourself.

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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Xanthine raises a number of good points. It's not uncommon for plantation slaves to not be allowed to be your friends anymore once you are suspected of not being on the plantation. Even if you never talk about it, at some point it will be suspected by the plantation masters that you have left the plantation and they won't let their slaves speak with you anymore. Having hobbies and interests is very important. Pets are also nice. The interaction of a free man who chooses to be a responsible, caring pet owner is very different than the interaction of a neurotic/psychotic woman or even a stressed out blue pill slave.
    Yet another nice feature of not being a slave is that you can reassess your plans for your life and change direction if you decide that what you were wishing to accomplish has been accomplished. If you want to move across the country, there's no one stopping you.

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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    "My point is , how do you guys cope with that? How do you cope with the feeling that you will be never loved by a woman? Something that is totally NORMAL for a human being to expect."


    Well how does anyone cope with reality? First we acknowledged it.

    Do you know where the red pill rage comes from? That absolute violent, loathing sense of hatred created by all the lies we were fed since birth to enslave us. In certain cases its so powerful it kills people with heart attacks. Many of us tried to be good. We tried to follow the script and be like our parents. Be good tax payers, brothers, uncles (in my case). We went forward with big smiles and honest hearts full of gold and good will. Only to be betrayed, mercilessly stabbed in the heart by the very society we put our faith in. We invested our very souls in a fraud while absolute scumbags took advantage of our naivete and laughed their way to the bank.

    All our big institutions were in on it, all cheering on gleefully to see one more average schlub crushed under their illegitimate power. Worst of all, the women who we thought had our backs helped mastermind this coup. Thinking falsely they could replace us men and force us to do their bidding for perceived historical wrongs we supposedly committed against them.

    For a while I hated the world. I hated the solitude. I felt a crushing mix of shame, frustration and guilt towards my family which I believed I had failed. My late teens to mid twenties were only made slightly more tolerably by drinking myself half to death. Then a miracle happened.

    I was at a fork in the road and I knew I had to make a choice. Continue stewing in my hatred or let it go.

    I chose to let it go.

    I still had things I loved to do, people that meant something to me and promises that I intended to keep. I wasn't going to give that all up because some haters did me wrong. I dropped the old blue pill script and my life started to improve.

    As for not being loved by women, well its not such a big deal. When you understand how they view you as an object and not a person it makes it harder to fall for them. And besides a stubborn hardass guy like myself could ruin my life with DV charges dealing with these modern women.

    They really aren't worth it anymore and not worth losing sleep over.

  19. #19

    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    You asked, so here's how I cope:

    First, I accept that I was born too late in history to have much hope of the stable wife and kids family. Being born in the last half of the 20th century, feminism had pretty well fucked up my chances for a stable wife/marriage by the time I was old enough to have one. In the 3 decades since I became legal age, it's gotten worse. Psych meds, alcoholism, eating disorders, gold digging behavior and general slutty behavior have pretty much disqualified so many that finding one who can still be a worthwhile spouse is no longer realistic.

    I remind myself frequently that none of this crappy behavior in women is my fault. I did not light this fire. Therefore, I am not responsible for correcting it. So I am simultaneously freed from either risking my peace, sanity, civil rights, children and at least half my assets on this rigged game, or from the responsibility of fixing it.

    Now, the downside of being born in the 60s is that by the time I came of age in the 80s, the option for the stable family that may have once existed decades before was gone.

    But the upside of being born int he 1960's?

    I am probably never going to face some horrific medieval epidemic like small pox, black plague, polio etc. That crap got cleaned up before I arrived. I am also probably never going to have my civilization conquered by some marauding horse mounted hords and then be enslaved for what remains of a short, miserable life. Just a few centuries ago, that crap happened to whole populations of people all the time. I live in a NATO country surrounded by nuclear weapons. Those slave-to-the-most-recent-conquerer days are over. I am also unlikely to starve as the result of a local famine, potato blight, flood, locust swarm etc. Food is relatively abundant in the last several decades, and it is readily mobile around the world. Finally, advances in medicine in the last half century mean that I am going to get to live a nice long time compared to say, my great great grandfather. He may have had a stable marriage with wife and family, but because his life expectancy was only 40 or 50 years, he didn't get so much time to enjoy it.

    Was this a good trade off?

    It's hard to say without living through some of those medieval shit-shows listed above wether this one is better or worse. But the difference is that you can choose not to participate in this particular shit show. A century or two ago, you probably could not have escaped a plague, war or famine. But today, you can easily escape the marriage-to-a-bitch shit show just by sayng the magic word: "No".

    So in coping with the current shit show, be a little grateful you were born late enough in history to have avoided some that were far worse. Then, take some satisfaction in knowing that all the energy, time and effort that might have gone into (and been wasted on) a wife and family... can now be channeled into sports, hobbies, travel or whatever other totally selfish pursuit results in making you the happiest. Depending on how well you choose the destinations for all this time, effort and energy, you can end up pretty damn happy.

    Finally, take some solace in the knowledge that feminism will be dead and buried not long after, and possibly before, many of us are. This is because it wrecks a majority marriages and results in about 1.2 children per couple in any society that embraces it. This isn't enough to sustain a population, so the societies that embrace feminism will shrink and eventually die out and disappear. And feminism will be buried right along with all those societies who ascribed to it. That's just the way biology and natural selection work. It's a bad idea that will result in extinction of its host population, and therefor of itself. Those western societies will be replaced by African, Asian, Latin or Arab societies that preserve that gender roles that kept them alive for eons. Feminism may or may not be written into the history books by the survivors as the factor that caused the extinction of western civilization.

    If they don't learn from our experience, perhaps one day a century or two from now, some other society will try it again and they'll go extinct as well. Either way, none of this is my problem, and none of this distracts me from my mission to devote my time, effort and energy into things that make me happy.

    Perhaps it sounds enormously selfish to think this way. But it was not my first choice. The less selfish option was eliminated before I arrived.

  20. #20
    Member TomMak's Avatar
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    Re: How do you guys manage to cope with all this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Niceguy_chad View Post
    How do you cope with the feeling that you will be never loved by a woman? Something that is totally NORMAL for a human being to expect.
    Whatever the bona fides of the OP and where he is in his personal journey, the question he asks here has started one of the most thought-provoking threads I have so far seen on this site and I congratulate those who have preceded me on their insightful comments.

    I would respond to Niceguy_chad by questioning the premise of his inquiry: is it “totally NORMAL” for a man to expect to be loved by a woman? Now that men have other choices, I think we need to examine critically just how instinctive, or “normal”, is this inclination on the part of the majority to attempt to pair-bond with a woman. Could it be, rather, the product of their conditioning to be the pro-creators, providers and protectors that society historically required, and which now serves merely as a money-making opportunity and social-stabilizer?

    kru-kut offers (in post #6) some practical advice on how we can seek to immunize ourselves against further conditioning of this nature and perhaps begin to reverse its effects. But I do not underestimate how painful -indeed, frightening- it can be for a man to give up on a dream that he has doubtless held from boyhood and which has determined his life choices and expectations up to that point. Certain promises were made to you, N_c, and as a kind, trusting and generous-hearted young man, you believed what you were told only to be cruelly let down. Now you are going through a kind of bereavement, and it will take time to re-orient yourself and to identify those new goals and priorities that will restore meaning and direction to your life. If you fear or struggle with loneliness, follow Xanthine's advice and take up a hobby or pursue interests that will bring you into contact with like-minded men. Other men are far more likely than women to offer friendship that is untainted by self-interest. Engaging in philanthropic activity, perhaps with children or adolescents if you entertained hopes of one day becoming a father, may go some way towards satisfying your need to give and receive validation and affection.

    Each of us here is at a different stage in the processes of 'unlearning' what he was taught about male-female relationships and finding a way to live which is both satisfying and conducive to his personal development. The point of the forum is that we can support and learn from each other as we go forward in this endeavor. I wish you well and stand ready to assist in any way I can.
    "I am​ a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?" (Joe Bob Briggs)


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