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  1. #1
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    Question Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    I met a girl in my city that's been dealt a bad card in life: Lost her mother, extreme poverty, homeless for a while, abusive relationships, been sick a long time, etc. I recognize allot in this girl that I have been through myself, from looked tired all the time to making bad decisions under stress. Before everything turned to shit in this girl's life she was smart enough for university and had model looks. Given the chance I can see her getting all that back and become a women guys would go nuts for. That's going to require a serious investment from me however. Not so much in terms of financial support but mental effort. She's picked up some bad habits that will take allot of time to undo. I don't mean bad as in drugs or promiscuous behavior but just stupid stuff that is sabotaging herself, like serious anxiety, extremely religious, bad eating habits, listening to quak doctors, bad financial decisions and so on. Not that she spends money stupidly but she is making decisions on short term instead of long-term, prioritizing the wrong things.

    Basically a basket-case but not one beyond repair. (and yes I can tell, having been through a mental health institution myself.) That's however no guarantee for how her behavior is going to be once she gets better. I may get traded in for chad or some rich beta, guys that wouldn't go near her now. Are her past experiences going to keep this girl honest or is she going to become like all other girls I've met before? I'm confused guys... I'm smart enough to know I can never let her get my hands on my wallet, not now or in the future. But it is going the take allot of time and effort from me to support her and make some changes in her life. With no guarantee I won't get discarded later on.

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    Senior Member TheRecipe's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    If you were in her shoes, would she do the same for you?

    I think you need to figure out what you really want out of it. A fling? A short term girlfriend? Something more long term? I wouldn't put too much effort into sorting out her problems. It's fine to give some guidance but I think it's mostly something she needs to fix herself. If she does trade you in then you won't feel bad about wasting a load of time on her.
    Marrying a woman is like taking a shit upside down every day for the rest of your life. Don't do it!

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    Senior Member Nasir Jones's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Bruh....You know better than this.
    Sad, but one day our kids will have to visit museums to see what a lady looks like.

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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    She's going to use you as an emotional tampon and then discard you once you've served your purpose.

    This is you right now:
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aintdealingwithyoshit View Post
    This is you right now:
    That about sums it up except the train has already passed and I have to put the pieces back together. I wonder if it makes a difference if you are red pill or MGTOW and know what is going to happen beforehand. Or she might grind me down over the years...

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    Senior Member SaltySpoon's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    serious anxiety, extremely religious, bad eating habits, listening to quak doctors, bad financial decisions and so on.
    You call this a NAWALT mate? Hellfire and damnation!

    But it is going the take allot of time and effort from me to support her and make some changes in her life. With no guarantee I won't get discarded later on.
    Sweet Jesus, you said it yourself! What the fuck?!

    So, not only does she have a trainwreck of a record, she's a trainwreck herself in every angle possible. It's going to take you a shitton of time, effort, (and don't fool yourself, money as well) to take a shot at putting this mess straight (no way to make sure you will pull it through). What for? A LTR? Do you plan on marrying this gal? What the fuck is running through your head mate?

    This is a BAD invesment of your time. This is NOT an unicorn. THIS IS A MESS. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?

    There are so many better things you could be doing with your time, like improving yourself for starters. And if it's going to be women, at least try to find one that can keep herself together, for fuck's sake.

    You might think that you're a good service to the world or whatever. You're not. This world is filled with idiots that can't handle themselves, and end up getting tied down to a baby or to debt. By the time you fix one, 100,000 will have been born. You would be doing a much better contribution by making a scientific or technological breakthrough.

    I like being polite, but Nasir is right on this one. You know better than this, c'mon.
    It's the nature of time that the old ways must give in
    it's the nature of time that the new ways come in sin,
    when the new meets the old it always ends the ancient ways
    and as history told the old ways go out in a blaze.

  7. #7
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    I meant NAWALT as in will not ride the cock carousel, drain guys for cash etc. Just because I'm on this forum doesn't mean I don't have empathy for someone who got into a mess for reasons not their fault. (Except the abusive relationship of course)

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    Senior Member SaltySpoon's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    And that's all fine and dandy, but what you plan on doing is way beyond empathy. She seems to be a very troubled individual, and you are going to sink in a huge emotional and personal investment into a ticking bomb, I want you to see that.

    We all have direct responsibility for our actions. If she can't keep a sensible eating regime (not even talking about a diet), believes in bullshit medicine and doesn't straighten up her finantial situation (which should be the #1 priority to everybody), she doesn't need pity. Pity only allows us to keep repeating those bad behaviours with impunity in our heads. And the bank doesn't give a shit about pity if your check bounces, nor does diabetes if you stress-eat. Yes, she had a fucked-up past, but the only way to build a brighter future is through hard work.

    The best teachers in our childhood are not the ones that are loving and caring, but the ones that push us to the limit in order to better ourselves. In the same way, you are not going to turn her into a capable human being through soft words and cuddles: She needs to keep eating in check, she needs to handle her money with great care, and oh lord she needs to read some books, and all of this requires great mental fortitude. And she has to do all that, not you.

    Just... if there's something I want you to take out of this is: If you're are bent on doing it, don't let your empathy turn against you. Don't let the sunk-cost fallacy trap you into a position you don't want to be in. Be ready to walk away.

    Personally, I think you are in for industrial amounts of bullshit, but I might as well be wrong. Let fate decide.
    It's the nature of time that the old ways must give in
    it's the nature of time that the new ways come in sin,
    when the new meets the old it always ends the ancient ways
    and as history told the old ways go out in a blaze.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Hesiod's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    I can see you're probably going to give this one a shot, I'd anticipate she'll put you through the mill and spit you back out when she's finished, you'll be mentally drained.

    Just like Women think they can change Men for the better you are trying it the other way round, I couldn't comment on the abusive relationships but I will say it appears she may have the capacity to dish out a fair amount of mental abuse herself.

    Also be prepared to crack your wallet open as I get the impression with her once being homeless and you state that she makes bad decisions with money that she's not flush with cash. The question is are you? Or does she see you as such.

    Good luck whatever you choose, personally for me it would be far too much hassle to take on. Be careful and don't lose your head in pussy fog.
    Last edited by Hesiod; November 20, 2016 at 8:41 PM.
    "Whoever has trusted a woman has trusted deceivers." .... Hesiod

    If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much




  10. #10
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    That's going to require a serious investment from me however.
    Don't they call that being a white knight?
    Last edited by Unboxxed; November 20, 2016 at 9:21 PM. Reason: changed white horse to white knight. duh!
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Yeah, I told her from the get-go that I can't spare any cash but she is welcome if she is hungry. I intend to keep that attitude. Hopefully she starts listening to my advice.

    For example: She currently has a water leak somewhere in her apartment, the landlord is giving her the run-around even though it's his responsibility to fix. There's a renter's union that she can join to put some pressure on her landlord. (Including a lawyer I believe if it comes to it) I will not pay her water bill or a plummer to come fix it for her. Hopefully she gets what I'm saying and gets on top of this issue. At least I got her the call the water company which has agreed to cut the bill in half and come up with a payment plan.

    I remember how I lived and how bad my decision-making was at the worst of my depression. Being broke, hungry and tired, stuff like this will get the best of you, you just don't have the willpower to fight it anymore.

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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    What you need to ask yourself right here and right now is only this: Would you do the same for a man? If the answer is no, then you know what to do.

  13. #13

    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    I met a girl in my city that's been dealt a bad card in life: Lost her mother, extreme poverty, homeless for a while, abusive relationships, been sick a long time, etc.
    Really sounds too bad, but I am getting red flags under abusive relationships. The abuse seldom flows just one way, and women have a tendency to keep picking the abusers especially if they grew up without a solid male role model, so the psychological theory goes... or they are abusive themselves and tend to bring out those qualities in men.

    Also consider that men get better at dealing with adversity because we don't have white knights to save us. She may be a catch if she pulls herself out of this without help, but not now. Be honest, you are not purely trying to be charitable, you see this as a chance to date out of your league, like buying a junk car that could be worth much more if it just gets fixed up.

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    I recognize allot in this girl that I have been through myself, from looked tired all the time to making bad decisions under stress. Before everything turned to shit in this girl's life she was smart enough for university and had model looks. Given the chance I can see her getting all that back and become a women guys would go nuts for. That's going to require a serious investment from me however.
    You do realize that it doesn't take that much smarts to go to university, right? Usually when people don't go it's because of circumstance. And how do you think she's going to feel about you when she's back on her feet and getting male attention again? Probably resentful that she has to date down. She may not be hypergamous now, but she has hypergamous instincts. Where was her interest in you before her string of bad luck?

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    Not so much in terms of financial support but mental effort. She's picked up some bad habits that will take allot of time to undo. I don't mean bad as in drugs or promiscuous behavior but just stupid stuff that is sabotaging herself, like serious anxiety, extremely religious, bad eating habits, listening to quak doctors, bad financial decisions and so on. Not that she spends money stupidly but she is making decisions on short term instead of long-term, prioritizing the wrong things.
    Sounds like someone else. Just ask yourself about how much women enjoy having men tell them what they are doing wrong. For her to improve, she is going to have to recognize her mistakes herself and commit to changing them. And either you try and help her or try and date her but you won't succede at both. Really she is better off getting psychological help from a professional.

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    Basically a basket-case but not one beyond repair. (and yes I can tell, having been through a mental health institution myself.) That's however no guarantee for how her behavior is going to be once she gets better. I may get traded in for chad or some rich beta, guys that wouldn't go near her now. Are her past experiences going to keep this girl honest or is she going to become like all other girls I've met before?
    If you have psychological problems, all the better reason to avoid others who do also. Also your obsession with her tells me that you are already a beta, if not a cuck, no offense intended, by how you are going about this. I've been down a similar path. As I mentioned, I think she will find an excuse to sabotage your relationship by the time things get better if she doesn't before.

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    I'm confused guys... I'm smart enough to know I can never let her get my hands on my wallet, not now or in the future. But it is going the take allot of time and effort from me to support her and make some changes in her life. With no guarantee I won't get discarded later on.
    Look up emotional tampon, because that is what you will be. Also, I doubt you will keep your wallet closed when she comes to you with some emergency. If you can't have the discipline to just try to fuck her and stay out of her life until she fiures it out, then you should stay away. I hope at least you remember my predictions if you do decide to start something.

  14. #14
    Member cisskow's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    RUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! She already has taken your attention off your goals which =s you've already lost or donated resources to her!!!! inch by inch she'll take anything you offer then dump you when the next one comes along, you won't even feel the blade slide in, but you will when she rips it out

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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Yeah, I had my own problems in the past. I dealt with them. I know she has to learn how to deal with hers too. If she starts throwing tantrums or cause any problems for me, I will cut contact with her. I already told her that eventually she will have to deal with her anxiety and get professional help. She even agreed on that with me, that she can't change that on her own. Time will tell if she actually does so.

    And you are right, I have been down this path before too. That's why I'm very cautious of what I'm willing to do. Hell, she might bail on me the first time I flat-out refuse to do something for her and that's fine with me. Won't be easy but I learned to let go in the past.

  16. #16
    Member cisskow's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    I hear ya, Old bata male here myself, is tough to watch them suffer, it almost seems natural or instinctive to reach out and save em.
    Since the red pill, I've met a few damsels in distress now I use them to test my metal, to date I'm standing firm.
    It's so revealing to me now, when I hear them ask for the little things, some help with this or that, soon it's gas money, or food yada yada, same crap different gal.
    Best to us all.

  17. #17
    Senior Member John Deer's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    " You do not desire something because it is good, instead, you label it as good because you desire it." - Vernon Howard.
    The only violence I have experienced has been at the hands of women.

    I live in Canada, So I'm living behind enemy behinds.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Empathy is important as a man.

    But empathy must be reserved for people that are hungry to learn and to change and that requires positive choices. This story shows this woman hasn't made these steps yet, because she is relying on others currently.

    Self reliance determines if someone is ready to make positive choices in their own life.

    Teach people how to fish not hand them the fish. That is true empathy.

  19. #19

    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Quote Originally Posted by VTOLfreak View Post
    I met a girl in my city that's been dealt a bad card in life: Lost her mother, extreme poverty, homeless for a while, abusive relationships, been sick a long time, etc. I recognize allot in this girl that I have been through myself, from looked tired all the time to making bad decisions under stress. Before everything turned to shit in this girl's life she was smart enough for university and had model looks. Given the chance I can see her getting all that back and become a women guys would go nuts for. That's going to require a serious investment from me however. Not so much in terms of financial support but mental effort. She's picked up some bad habits that will take allot of time to undo. I don't mean bad as in drugs or promiscuous behavior but just stupid stuff that is sabotaging herself, like serious anxiety, extremely religious, bad eating habits, listening to quak doctors, bad financial decisions and so on. Not that she spends money stupidly but she is making decisions on short term instead of long-term, prioritizing the wrong things.

    Basically a basket-case but not one beyond repair. (and yes I can tell, having been through a mental health institution myself.) That's however no guarantee for how her behavior is going to be once she gets better. I may get traded in for chad or some rich beta, guys that wouldn't go near her now. Are her past experiences going to keep this girl honest or is she going to become like all other girls I've met before? I'm confused guys... I'm smart enough to know I can never let her get my hands on my wallet, not now or in the future. But it is going the take allot of time and effort from me to support her and make some changes in her life. With no guarantee I won't get discarded later on.


    I actually can sympathise with your situation,thing is most peoples virtue is born of necessity not choice. Her qualities I think you presently find endearing are probably a result of her situation and knowledge that being agreeable will be of help, so truth is you might never know her true mindset until she doesn't need your support any more. If that is something you can stand, then more power to you, I have always had this perspective that reality is the bane of all illusions.


    While a lot of men here might disagree with me, I would suggest you carry on with your actions if that's what you really want ,while protecting yourself from debilitating blows. The truth is we can sometimes let imagination run with us , so sometimes a dose of reality will suffice to clarify. In my opinion denial is merely a cowardly way to not question one's assumptions. If she turns out to be a unicorn then more power to you but if she proves to be the rule rather than the exception it will jolt you from fantasies in the future. Both ways you can gain from it if you keep your conscious intent on the prize, which is what do you desire from life which no one else can decide for you.


    Avoidance I don't think is a good tactic because its based on the notion that suppression can solve desire,see how that turned out for the catholic priests. I think the true point is where there is no mental tension arising from rejecting females,hence it must be organic not forced. So I think the best is to indulge in the illusion until it's hold over you is broken and then you will never have to suppress any desire because you would have been cured by reality.

  20. #20

    Re: Confused - Did I find a NAWALT?

    Quote Originally Posted by cisskow View Post
    RUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! She already has taken your attention off your goals which =s you've already lost or donated resources to her!!!! inch by inch she'll take anything you offer then dump you when the next one comes along, you won't even feel the blade slide in, but you will when she rips it out
    "Look! Up in the air!"
    "It's a bird!"
    "It's a plane!"
    "No...its Captain Save-a-Ho!"

    Just ask yourself: "Would I feel like being such a white knight today, if I spent last night in a wild 3-way with two gorgeous women?"

    If the answer is "no," then you are hoping to exchange "nice guy coupons," for "gratitude sex" coupons.


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