Well, I figure it's about time I "decloaked" -- been lurking since Nacho's forums, although it took me a little while to find the new one, so I missed a bit and had some "catching up" to do!
At any rate, mostly I wanted to create an account to thank you all. In case you ever wonder whether what you do and what you say helps others, I can certainly say that the answer is a resounding yes -- so if I can be so presumptuous as to speak for all the lurkers, a big "thank you" is certainly in order.
Besides, it's been getting harder and harder for me to resist the temptation to join in the fray. Resistance is futile...
How did I get here? I found an interesting quote by Dr. Feynman stating that you are who you are, and if anyone else has expectations of who you should be, then that's their problem and not yours. I was fascinated, and when I googled the quote looking for discussion, much to my surprise there was pretty much zero. Unless, of course, one counts that someone posted the quote on the old boards, and once that rabbit hole was entered, the rest is history.
About myself and relationships -- well, I was the dumb beta at the end of the carousel who she knew "would take good care of me" -- exact words. Twenty plus years later, here I am.
No children, for which I am inordinately pleased -- and even better, neither of us wants them.
At this point, I have a half-decent set up, at least for being married; we both work, and have our own separate accounts and retirement, cars, etc.; and don't own a home together. We each have our hobbies and interests that we are free to pursue, and if one of us chooses to go along for an event of the other's, we have an arrangement that the center of attention will be the hobby and not the other person.
I guess in all, could be better -- but damn, could be a hell of a lot worse based on what some of you gents have suffered. Note that this is 100% stated in sympathy, and not meant to rub salt in the wounds.
I have no illusions that even though we have our own separate setups, I wouldn't be taken to the cleaners if we split -- I outproduce her by a solid margin.
That being said, I absolutely 100% would never get involved again, either if we do go our separate ways or if I manage to outlive her. I knew before finding this haven that I would never marry again under any circumstances, but that has further solidified into the firm knowledge that I would simply ghost in that circumstance. Months spent observing women at work, girlfriends/wives of friends, females in the social circles, casual conversations overheard on the street, etc. has really hammered home what my eyes have been opened to -- and it's really kind of scary how obvious it all should have been all along; yet never was.
At any rate, enough rambling!