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  1. #1
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    New here, but not new to MGTOW

    I'm in my late 40's, confirmed bachelor, and I was done with dating, LTR, and marriage a decade ago. I was one of those guys who became MGTOW before I knew what lMGTOW was.

    A nasty divorce from a nasty woman was the first domino to fall for me. We started off okay, but over time she bacame hateful toward me. The harder I tried to make my marriage work, the better a husband I became, the more I tried to be the man she claimed she wanted, the more hateful she became. It was as if she put forth an equal amount of energy to mine, only her efforts were to destroy us, rather than build something stronger. That was the most difficult time of my life. I'd give all the glory details, but its embarrassing just how utterly stupid I was to devote so much time and energy to her. I am positive she was cheating on me, or at least put me on the back burner while she searched for someone better---wealthier, younger, with more status.
    She actually had me questioning my own sanity toward the end.

    After the divorce, I dated. The problem there was my ex had taught me a lesson and I recognized aspects of her in the women I dated. Not as blatent or hostile as my ex, but those red flags were there and I wasn't about to ignore them. I ended things with these THOTs very quickly after just a few red flags. No fricking way was I ever going to allow any woman to treat me shabbily again.

    I started spending more time and effort on myself than on dating. Had long stretches where I wouldn't date for months on end, only to try dating again and see those red flags every damned time. This cycle repeated, the times between dating growing longer and longer. One day I realized I wasn't trying to find a good companion, I was trying to find just one who wouldn't treat me too badly or who would cause less pain. Once I realized that, I was done dating. Why search for someone who would cause pain, but not so much I couldn't stand it? That's like trying to find someone to kick you in the nuts, but not so hard you vomit. Why not just skip finding anyone and not get kicked in the nuts at all?

    I discovered that women are a lot like vampires. They can only suck the life out of you if you invite them in. Currently, women can not pull any of the nasty crap we complain about if you refuse to invite them into your home, your heart, or your life.

    I came across Sandman's videos on YouTube 3 or 4 years ago and for the first time, all the crap I'd been through made sense. I hadn't known my ex's preferred method of arguing was called gaslighting, but there it was, explained in a fricking video on YouTube. Everything I learned about female nature fit with my experiences from marriage and dating. That absolutely wrecked me for dating or even hookups. Knowing women, I wanted nothing to do with them, even for a single night. No, I'm not gay. I'm just disgusted with women. The juice is definitely not worth the squeeze.

    After finding red pill knowledge, I wished like Hell I'd known all this in my early 20's. My goal now is to spread MGTOW philosophy to as many young men as possible so that some might avoid my mistakes. To that end, I want to find a way to reach as many as I can. I came here to interact with other MGTOWs, to learn more, and to hopefully help fellow MGTOWs by sharing my take on MGTOW as I continue going my own way. I'm no expert, so I don't plan on preaching. I will, however, share what I learned.

    Let me know if you need more details and I'll see what I can do.

  2. #2
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Hey there, I was also MGTOW in many ways before the term MGTOW even existed. Women can suck the life out of us I agree. What I started to realize as I transitioned towards Red Pill was that I was the one making women bigger than what they actually are. They were never anything special it was just my own desires and fantasies.

    I hope you like it here and I look forward to your posts.

  3. #3
    Senior Member O.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    its embarrassing just how utterly stupid I was to devote so much time and energy to her.
    She actually had me questioning my own sanity toward the end.
    No fricking way was I ever going to allow any woman to treat me shabbily again.
    Welcome Tom,
    Only a man who has survived the insanity of marriage and then divorce, and learned from it, writes what you wrote above.
    Hope you chime in on the forum when ready.
    "People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings."
    - Nietzsche


  4. #4
    Member Manuallaborer's Avatar
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Thanks for sharing Tom. You're in the right place.

    Damn right your ex was putting in the effort to destroy your marriage. All the hens at the hen house painted the picture for her that if she divorced, you would pay monthly to support her cock carousel rides. Once the fun of that wears thin, she may even come crawling back to you "trying to make things right". Stay strong. Shut that bitch down and leave her out in the cold.
    ​Have you considered fucking a doll instead?

  5. #5
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Thank you for the welcome, all. I'm looking forward to posting after I've read through more posts. Nice to be among others who understand.

  6. #6
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Gault View Post
    Why search for someone who would cause pain, but not so much I couldn't stand it? That's like trying to find someone to kick you in the nuts, but not so hard you vomit. Why not just skip finding anyone and not get kicked in the nuts at all?


    I discovered that women are a lot like vampires. They can only suck the life out of you if you invite them in. Currently, women can not pull any of the nasty crap we complain about if you refuse to invite them into your home, your heart, or your life.
    Any time I see good MGTOW quotes, I always save them in a document.
    These are going in the book.

    Welcome.
    If you believe everything you hear is a lie, you have a 100% lie detection rate.
    The opposite holds true but I would rather be surprised by the truth than a lie.

    Women can attack you as much as they want but are you really allowed to fight back? This place seems to think that you aren't.

  7. #7

    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Hello Tom

    thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the forum I hope you gonna enjoy your stay here.
    cheers
    "MGTOW is an extreme measure to an extreme situation"
    Quote Insidious Sid: "Some men are so MGTOW they're not even MGTOW".
    Quote Life is what you make of it "Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy."

  8. #8
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Gault View Post
    I'd give all the glory details, but its embarrassing just how utterly stupid I was to devote so much time and energy to her.
    Would you share at least some of the details here, or at least one story in some detail? We have members new to MGTOW and also interested lurkers who could benefit from learning how to recognize the signs, signals, and red flags in other than broad strokes.

    One day I realized I wasn't trying to find a good companion, I was trying to find just one who wouldn't treat me too badly or who would cause less pain. Once I realized that, I was done dating.
    That is a remarkable thing to read. This turning point.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  9. #9
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    I see your point, unboxxed. That will not make me feel any less stupid sharing, and I'll preface this example by saying I was young and had zero red pill knowledge, but here goes true stupidity.
    A few months after I married, we moved to another state and we both got new jobs. I worked in a print shop and she took a job as a receptionist at a place that created and tested computer operating systems.
    She was jazzed about her new job. Talked a lot about how "neat" her new coworkers were, how funny some of them were, and how they made a lot of money.
    About a week later, I dropped by her work to bring her a coffee from Starbucks. Told the other receptionist that I was her husband when she went to find my wife.
    The next morning, my wife informed me that she didn't want anyone she works with to know she's married. I do not even remember the exact lame excuse she gave other than to say we didn't have the perfect wedding she had wanted, so she didn't consider herself married.
    Obviously, she was either cheating with the intention to replace me or she was open to starting something with one of them with the intention of replacing me.
    My response should have been to end it right there and then. What did I do, I doubled down and tried to be a better husband in order to make us work. I spent another 6 years trying my ass off while she worked equally hard to tear me apart.
    I'll say we had a rough start and things were strained before we moved and I was not blameless for the conflict, but had red pill knowledge been available back then, I'd have ended things before we got past 2 dates. Also, she had a daughter and I enjoyed helping to raise her, so that was part of why I put a lot of effort into making it work.
    In the end, my step daughter wanted not one thing to do with me when it became clear I would never take her mother back. Walked her to school every morning for all of those years, made her breakfast and dinner countless times, and in the end I was disposable. Wonder where she learned that.

    Other than that grand bit of stupidity, the rest was a lot of looney arguments about how anything I did, good or bad, was me trying to ruin her life. Tons of gaslighting where she steered the conversation away from issues I had with her when I brought up problems, like the insane arguments that she started more and more frequently, a general ungratefulnes and/or a refusal to give me credit where credit was due.
    I will say that by the end I was a very good husband. I never cheated, was not a drinker, was never unemployed, did my share of the housework, and was with my family whenever I wasnt at work. I wasnt perfect, but I was a pretty decent example of what women say they want in a husband. All of that did not matter.

    After I ended it with her, she tried pretty hard, almost desperately, to get me back. Turned out I wasnt quite as bad as she had claimed, apparently, (or, her plan to replace me wasnt going too well and she didn't want to lose her plan B, me, just in case she could not land a better replacement) but I was done and that was that. Admitting her part in the destruction came too late and by then, I just didn't care and had no energy left to give it another try.

    Were I to get into the details of the types of arguments we had, I couldn't because they never made sense to me in the first place. One thing I can share was that she would state her point, maybe me forgetting to take the garbage to the dumpster, then she would restate her point with added embelishments, like what I was thinking as I purposely refused to take the trash out in order to piss her off, which was mental abuse. She would restate her little story as many as 5 times and by the last with numerous embellishments, it was just insane and I looked like a poor imitation of a Bonde villian. Much gaslighting when I pointed out why her embellished argument was just plain wrong, which added at least another hour or two to the whole fiasco.

    Obviously, she wasnt worth the time or effort and I never dated a woman who was quite as batshit crazy after the divorce, but I saw red flags, diluted aspects of the ex, in every single woman I dated afterwards. And I did not date the same types of women, so it was not me choosing the wrong types of women.
    IMO, they're all like this to one degree or another. Eventually, I just stopped bothering with dating and even hookups. If MGTOW unicorns exist, I've never met one.

    When I stopped allowing women into my bed, life got a whole lot more simple and I found I was content at last.

    Looking back, it's like I'm talking about someone else. I can't explain my stupidity, just know I really was that stupid and can not imagine putting up with anything even remotely like that today. I am absolutely not one BJ away from leaving MGTOW. Matter of fact, I can not imagine a scenario where I would give it another go with a woman no matter who she was or how nice she acted.

    If anyone young is reading this, your takeaway should be that the vast majority of women have this in them and over time it'll only get worse. Even a little bit of crazy goes a long way and it always grows into more and more crazy.

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Welcome to the forum, man. I was going to ask for a some of those gory details, but I see Unboxxed got on your case.

    It hardly needs to be said, but yeah: that's the deal when you marry a single mother. The simple question to ask is "where's the child's father?", and if the answer is anything other than "Died down 't mine" then whatever it is is ample reason for you not to marry her. If the father of her child isn't with her, why should you be?

    And as for the kid: so many step-dads pour their hearts and their lives into a step kid, only to discover that on her wedding day she wants her real dad to be the one to give her away.

  11. #11
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Goddamn. Welcome to the forum, man! I'm glad I never got married, never even cohabitated with an ex because it's simply not in my nature to do so. With each heartbreaking story I read here and back on the old mgtow site, I can see I dodged bullets, cannonballs, hell, even Ion strikes!

  12. #12
    Member Manuallaborer's Avatar
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    "I dropped by her work to bring her a coffee from Starbucks. Told the other receptionist that I was her husband when she went to find my wife.
    The next morning, my wife informed me that she didn't want anyone she works with to know she's married. I do not even remember the exact lame excuse she gave other than to say we didn't have the perfect wedding she had wanted, so she didn't consider herself married."

    Holy shit. It's been awhile since a red pill story shocked me with the unbridled ignorance that women can embody. But that right there is it.

    To imagine giving a woman what they beg for all those dates and years, marriage. Then have the cunt tell me it wasn't perfect so it didn't count. . .

    Good for you, separating yourself from that madness. Go your own way brother.
    ​Have you considered fucking a doll instead?

  13. #13
    Senior Member O.G.'s Avatar
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Looking back, it's like I'm talking about someone else. I can't explain my stupidity, just know I really was that stupid and can not imagine putting up with anything even remotely like that today.
    While my story is slightly different, I had the exact feelings about myself as you. You and I are also not the only members in that shitty club.

    For me the worst part of my divorce was the realization of my stupidity. That's what took me the longest time to heal from. You have to forgive yourself. Vow to do better with your new knowledge (as you have) and move forward.

    I really enjoy my life now.

    You too are well on your way to a much better life.
    "People are always angry at anyone who chooses very individual standards for his life; because of the extraordinary treatment which that man grants to himself, they feel degraded, like ordinary beings."
    - Nietzsche


  14. #14
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    First off, thank you for not rubbing my nose in it. Appreciated. That young man I was died a decade and a half ago. The man I am today is a very different animal.

    I do not hate women. Getting angry at women for the way they are is like getting angry at a snake for being a snake. They're human beings and I afford them the respect any human deserves. That said, women are no longer appropriate mates for men and they need to be rejected in that capacity in mass. I find women fit perfectly into the friend zone, assuming they're decent human beings you can get along with, where they belong. A coffee with a woman in public is fine, but never anything beyond simple friendship and common sense dictates I never meet them in private or open myself to a false allegation by putting myself in compromising situation without witnesses.

    I have not allowed a woman into my bed during the last 15 years. Being heterosexual, that means no intercourse. I plan to maintain that up to my last breath, and beyond. I am not damaged or "wounded" (not bitter, just embarrassed at my own stupidity) from my marriage/divorce, I was enlightened and chose to leave the plantation. I've accomplished a lot since then and plan to accomplish a lot more. A big goal for me is to spread the MGTOW philosophy so younger men can learn before getting wrecked and perhaps many more men can finally put women in their proper place, which is the friend zone. I'll post about that effort elsewhere here once I get going because it'll amuse a few members.

    And that should do it for the introduction. I shared the worst of it and you all were nice about it. Again, it was appreciated. I'll head into the forums now.

  15. #15
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    Re: New here, but not new to MGTOW

    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Gault View Post
    First off, thank you for not rubbing my nose in it. Appreciated. That young man I was died a decade and a half ago. The man I am today is a very different animal.

    I do not hate women. Getting angry at women for the way they are is like getting angry at a snake for being a snake. They're human beings and I afford them the respect any human deserves. That said, women are no longer appropriate mates for men and they need to be rejected in that capacity in mass. I find women fit perfectly into the friend zone, assuming they're decent human beings you can get along with, where they belong. A coffee with a woman in public is fine, but never anything beyond simple friendship and common sense dictates I never meet them in private or open myself to a false allegation by putting myself in compromising situation without witnesses.

    I have not allowed a woman into my bed during the last 15 years. Being heterosexual, that means no intercourse. I plan to maintain that up to my last breath, and beyond. I am not damaged or "wounded" (not bitter, just embarrassed at my own stupidity) from my marriage/divorce, I was enlightened and chose to leave the plantation. I've accomplished a lot since then and plan to accomplish a lot more. A big goal for me is to spread the MGTOW philosophy so younger men can learn before getting wrecked and perhaps many more men can finally put women in their proper place, which is the friend zone. I'll post about that effort elsewhere here once I get going because it'll amuse a few members.

    And that should do it for the introduction. I shared the worst of it and you all were nice about it. Again, it was appreciated. I'll head into the forums now.
    I agree, to me hate requires passion and energy and I just don't have either to give to them. I believe that women have been harmed as much by feminism as men have, women are confused now wondering where this promised land is that they were told they would have. They don't like to work but bad luck. Their mothers and grandmothers chose for them and now they have to live with it.

    Society lets them get away with murder and so they do what they please. Maybe I would be similar, I don't know.

    What others do though is beyond my control. Whether a woman is the perfect 1950's housewife or a total modern slut it doesn't take my own choice away and my choice is to not play. It goes further than that as well, MGTOW to me is more about avoidance of relationships.

    Thanks for sharing.


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