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  1. #1
    Senior Member College MGTOW's Avatar
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    Korbinian Lisandro, a College MGTOW

    I don't necessarily agree with everything Penn Jillette says, but his quote on his Bullshit! rings true for us as it does for atheism: "... nothin' will get you there faster than readin' the damn Bible." In our case, you merely need only to walk the path you are told to to become a man, only to find out it's all fucking bullshit. I've been 'going my own way' for quite some time. I had to. I was lost and without purpose until I could read it in myself.

    My parents are divorced, but not while I was very young. They began the ceremony of separation when I was about 13 or 14 -- about my freshman year of high school. You know how it goes. There was already another woman in the house as it was, but I had considered her a family friend's daughter that we were trying to help start here in Seattle. I guess this had been the catalyst for my mother to finish breaking away from my father, including some very extreme things done in the meantime. Yes, finish, because at this point my mother had already been considering wanting out for quite some time, three or four years at that point. I'm not sure why, but three kids and abject poverty will do that to you.

    I had a few girlfriends here and there as a kid. One significant relationship around high school fundamentally changed the person I was into an extrovert, but it didn't last of course. Although interestingly enough, my first couple of sexual experiences happened long before high school, and with other boys the same age I was then. So to top things off, I had been travelling the gamut of sexual questing to find out what I preferred in the first place, never mind the gender-finding bullshit we all do in high school that we mostly don't admit to anyway. Also, divorce stuff. But I found out other things about women in late high school and early 20s, mostly confusing.

    My personality became an outgoing man who just likes to help people, though awfully romantic and naive in my late teens and early 20s. I had wanted to become the kind of man my father was, because I felt that it was what represented a man in our age, and for our relative station in society: A father that cared deeply for his children, was the primary caregiver at home, a very important cog in a very large machine, without which the world wouldn't continue grinding along. I don't remember him working a lot when I was a kid, although I do remember tagging along on some of his freelance jobs. It wasn't until we came to Seattle where we became a two-income family out of necessity. Don't get me wrong, we still always had someone at home, and we were never alone. But I'm sure this didn't help any of their marriage.

    Did you know women who become mothers always pine to be girls and women again? Just hold on to that thought for me.

    These hopes were dashed in 2003 and 2007. The likelihood of being just a good father, a good husband, with a decent job, kids and wife went away with a relationship in 2007. The woman had decided to use her child, a child I came very fond of, against me to assert her will and ideas about drug use. My intentions to give us a better life at the price of a lot of risk to my life didn't matter. She just didn't want her kid to see it. The fu--... I would have been GONE for three weeks. Nothing would have been seen, the kid wouldn't even be on the same side of the city as me anyway. Didn't matter. So, I broke it off. No one uses a child as a object to assert their will. Children are not the ones who are supposed to be the proxies of their mothers, the mothers are supposed to be the proxies of the children. Proxies of the children. Huh.

    I delved back into myself. My future was lost. I was lost. I sought to go back to see what being a man was supposed to mean. It wasn't as simple as being a good father, or selfless risk to greater causes. I took an interest in and used to great effect the "Pick-up Artist" tips of Tom Leykis tempered by the profession of a married man's life over the airwaves by way of BJ Shea. I even went to marriage counselors and took everything I could of a man's place in life in. The more I delved into this, the more I got to realize my value. The more I got to realize the system is fucking bullshit and most people are in it. I "took the red pill", and saw that most people are in this system themselves, and finding someone outside of this system is far too difficult.

    So being a man is exactly what I thought it was, and my father did in fact exhibit it. Selfless servitude to a system that requires you to work in it for it to continue, and the only pride is one you have to make for yourself. My father was the beta provider, absolutely. But my father didn't sacrifice himself to make another beta male. My parents didn't try to hold shit together for as long as they could just to have a son that would be abused by his world. I'm not on this earth to be abused.

    I decided about a year and a half ago that I am not a bad man. There is nothing wrong with me. I know I am a good man, with good intentions, and deserve to surround myself with good people and principles to help propel me and everyone who sacrificed for me to this point to get to a greater place. I decided to smoke entirely too much marijuana for a first time since a decade before, and let my hands work the controls like I'm straight... into college. I went back to school with the absolute assurance and attitude required to force my way through academia to become a Computer Engineer. At 27 years old, I went my own way, straight into college.

    Sure, it's probably not a good idea with how bad the scene is out there, and there is no assurance of ANYTHING in the course of this. But I put aside women to find out who I was. I know who I am. I will be heard, and I will take my rightful place as a important cog in a large machine. It's my place. And there is no lack of pride knowing that your place is not among the stars, but in the soil.

    There is no lack of pride of being that which the world must stand on to move. There is no lack of pride in being everything there is to being a man, all of the good and all of the bad. There is no lack of pride in choosing to focus on myself, so I may better myself and build upon that to better my family and community. There is no lack of pride in being everything there is to being a man. Everything. That includes the fact that I will demand my respect for being a cog in this god damned machine. Because as a man, I should and must. And I will not allow anyone to tell me otherwise.

    My name is Korbinian Lisandro, and I have gone my own way. I will become the man I want to be. I will become the god damn greatest computer engineer you'll never hear of. The only way in my life is my way. I may not forego women permanently, but the one I do get will only have the option of being on my level, with my perfectly-freaking-reasonable ideas of how my relationships and family should work. And I decided to do this in a popular Seattle college, known for being quite the hotbed of feminism at times. It's going to be tough, but I'm going to make it. We're going to make it.

  2. #2
    Senior Member BeijaFlor's Avatar
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    Re: Korbinian Lisandro, a College MGTOW

    Welcome aboard.
    "The Red Pill is the start of the journey, not the end." - Chairborne

    "Our most dangerous enemies are men who have no loyalty to men." - William Noy

    "I am not going to sacrifice my freedom and wealth for your ideals." - Primus Pilus

    "If you can't be happy on you're own, you can't be happy -- full stop." - Wilfred

    My introduction: I Was MGTOW When MGTOW Wasn't Cool...

    My blog: Beyond The Sunset

  3. #3
    Administrator jagrmeister's Avatar
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    Re: Korbinian Lisandro, a College MGTOW

    So being a man is exactly what I thought it was, and my father did in fact exhibit it. Selfless servitude to a system that requires you to work in it for it to continue....There is no lack of pride in being everything there is to being a man.
    You're on the right track. Welcome.

  4. #4

    Re: Korbinian Lisandro, a College MGTOW

    You are going to make it

    Welcome!


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