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  1. #1
    Member TomMak's Avatar
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    Smile Introducing myself, TomMak

    Hi guys,

    I'm Tom. I was never very successful at dating, and married my first and only g/f at age 24. Our son was born a year later, but before he was even 2 years old she'd left me for a man she'd been having sex with while I was out working. I know that's a very stereotypical MGTOW story but 100% true, I swear! I had never been unfaithful, never neglected or mistreated her, but still had to suffer the further indignity of having her divorce me for MY "unreasonable behavior" - I couldn't afford and wasn't emotionally strong enough to defend her divorce petition or to commence proceedings of my own. Needless to say, she got custody of our boy and full possession of the family home.

    I've seen so many friends endure similar treatment from their women. Meanwhile, as men in the workplace, we have to endure constant ridicule and belittling of our efforts and achievements by the females appointed to senior positions in our corporations and public institutions -something that would not have happened when I started my career in the 1980s. Searching online just recently for info about men's rights and strategies for opposing the tyranny of feminism led me to discover MGTOW philosophy, and I've been voraciously consuming all the MGTOW content I can find. I guess this finally enabled me to join the dots and see that what is being promoted in the guise of "gender equality" has poisoned our society and is damaging our kids, boys especially.

    Well, I'm now 54 and happy pursuing my various hobbies and interests. I never had another relationship with a woman. I share my house -celibately- with another guy that I've known for many years and needed a place to stay, so that provides me with companionship. My Christian faith -was Jesus the ultimate MGTOW?!- is also a major part of my life.

    Looking forward to getting to know you all .

  2. #2
    Senior Member #Redpillbible's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Welcome TomMak. Yeah same old same old with women. The man gets blamed for HER infidelity, truly a fucked up state of affairs. Welcome to the forums.

    Im sure hell is mostly filled with lawyers, corrupt judges and cops, and women. Satan and his demons are gonna have a eternal anal party with these people I mentioned.
    #HE IS THE ONE #LEGENDARY CROSS #MGTOW JESUS CHRIST

    #(DEFENDER OF MGTOW FORUM GO YOUR OWN WAY)

    #LIKE A DOVE FROM HEAVEN. (Luke 3:22)

    #I AM THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE, NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME. (John14:6)

    #IN MY VISION AT NIGHT I LOOKED, AND THERE BEFORE ME WAS ONE LIKE A SON OF MAN, COMING WITH THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN. HE APPROACHED THE ANCIENT OF DAYS AND WAS LED INTO HIS PRESENCE.(Daniel 7:3)

  3. #3
    Member TomMak's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Thanks #Redpillbible.

    I've been thinking back over the events of 30 years ago and thought I would put some flesh on the bones of what I wrote yesterday concerning my marriage. When I said "I was never very successful at dating" - well, there hadn't been any "dates" to speak of; just a few boy-girl outings to the cinema that led nowhere in terms of sex or even so-called romance. Even for those times I was very naive as a teenager; I would describe my family background as small-town, Catholic, conservative. My parents were (and are) caring people but I think the world they prepared me for was the one that they might have dreamed of for themselves in the 1950s/60s, and not what I actually encountered. In regard to sex and women, the former was just not even presented as an option pre-marriage and I distinctly remember being told by my father that somewhere out there was this perfect woman that God had chosen for me and that I would meet her when the time was right. So I went through my teenage years and even university and its immediate aftermath with my virginity intact and thinking of girls/women as mysterious and unapproachable except on a very superficial level. It was with that mentality and naivety/inexperience that I arrived in London in April 1987 to start my first job. Finally I had broken free of the parental shackles and had the world at my feet! And what happens? - this woman latches on to me for whatever reason and is relentless in her pursuit of me. To this day I'm unsure what attracted her to me. As I later learned she, unlike me, had a sexual past and her previous boyfriends were very different from me. But this was the first time any female had shown that kind of interest in me and I guess I was thinking that, even if this isn't "the one" my dad had spoken to me about, should I really pass up the chance to finally experience physical intimacy with a woman? So I started hanging out with her, we had sex (nothing special), had sex a few more times (still nothing special, but maybe this is as good as it gets), got a place together and before I know it I'm asking her to marry me. It's hard, 30 years on, to put myself back into the mindset I had then. Did I love her? I'm certain I believed I did at the time, but I think it was more about seizing that one chance -as I perceived it- to get that life my parents seemed to have mapped out for me. Did she love me? I have no idea!!

    Moving onto the marriage and how/when things changed. We married in April 1989 and she must have become pregnant almost immediately as our son was born the following January. That was when the change occurred. She did not take well to being the mother of a small baby whereas I couldn't wait for his arrival and was very hands-on as a dad, taking on virtually all of the night-feeding and eventually reducing my work to part-time hours so that I could take on the bulk of the daycare and enable my wife to work full-time. I want to emphasize that I didn't do any of that grudgingly or unwillingly: I loved every minute of caring for my baby son and if I could go back in time and live that period again, in spite of what happened subsequently, I absolutely would. But, getting back to the change this produced in my wife, I think that in spite of being by her own admission unsuited to mothering a small baby and now free to resume her career she now felt that I had usurped what should have been her role in relation to our son. I have seen this pattern repeated in many marriages: the wife claims to want a "new man" who will take on at least some of the traditionally female responsibilities of running the house and looking after the children, but when the husband obliges she suddenly feels redundant and restless in that relationship and starts to look for another. I'm sure there was something of that behind the unspoken hostility I experienced from other mothers when I would take my son to the clinic for check-ups etc, and that it was at least a contributing factor in the eventual break-up of my marriage.

    When/how did the affair start? My wife decided she needed to get out more in the evenings notwithstanding one of us - me- would need to stay home with the baby. There were "drinks with work colleagues" (I wonder!) and then a cake-decorating class where she struck up a friendship with one of the other women there. It was with this woman's husband that my wife had the affair. How the transition was made from mere acquaintance to lover I don't know, but they got into a pattern of taking the occasional afternoon off work so they could have sex either in my house or his. Some of this was later admitted to me and some I later learned from the man's wife. Our emotional relationship had become so cold that it wasn't a huge surprise when my wife announced that she was no longer happy in our marriage, but the disclosure that she had been having an affair with this man and now intended to leave me for him was a huge body-blow which took me several years to recover from. Mostly, though, I was fearful for the future of my relationship with my son.

    Well, I've rambled on a bit and whilst there is more to say about the break-up and its aftermath I think I'll resume this later. Thanks for reading thus far.

  4. #4
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Quote Originally Posted by TomMak View Post
    Well, I've rambled on a bit and whilst there is more to say about the break-up and its aftermath I think I'll resume this later. Thanks for reading thus far.
    TM, you set a great example of one of the purposes of an Intro which is to help others (both members and lurkers) recognize in their situation anything that you have shared about yours. This takes detail and candor and you have provided both.

    Thank you, and welcome.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  5. #5
    Senior Member #Redpillbible's Avatar
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    # I AM THE WAY

    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Damn man, that shit hurts, I read everything, and as far as I’m concerned, you didn’t do anything wrong, in reality, she’s just a shitty wife and a shitty mother, don’t blame yourself for all the wrongs she did, and don’t take the blame for her infidelity either, it’s not your fault, even though the world and her and her shitty friends and shitty family would like to make you believe that,(I’m just assuming they are if they are involved), that is far from the truth. She will die in her infidelity and godless ways, she will live and suffer a long miserabe lonely death, while the grace of God shines upon you. Amen.
    #HE IS THE ONE #LEGENDARY CROSS #MGTOW JESUS CHRIST

    #(DEFENDER OF MGTOW FORUM GO YOUR OWN WAY)

    #LIKE A DOVE FROM HEAVEN. (Luke 3:22)

    #I AM THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE, NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME. (John14:6)

    #IN MY VISION AT NIGHT I LOOKED, AND THERE BEFORE ME WAS ONE LIKE A SON OF MAN, COMING WITH THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN. HE APPROACHED THE ANCIENT OF DAYS AND WAS LED INTO HIS PRESENCE.(Daniel 7:3)

  6. #6
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    TomMak, realize one thing, women are liberated from us and our logic, they're free to follow their emotional harts desire, they stop maturing at age 15, they're intellectually inferior as their reigns over society have proven without a doubt. Their nature is toxic to society and origination, we see what liberation has freed them to do, they are collectively dismantling every facet of family and civilization as we speak, their delusions of equality have given us every social ill we see today. Societies without the farce of feminism and female interpreted equality are growing to consume the societies driven by feminism, gynoocentrism, and equality. It's only a matter of time before the west falls into obscurity and feminism is laid to rest in the ashes of history.

    You sir, are just another victim of feminism and equality, I chose to abandon that hellish plantation of endless suffering back in the prime of my life and highest sexual marketability (my 30's) I made the discussion based in all the promiscuity around me and the animistic behavior that had consumed the harts and minds of the people. I saw the old and ancient culture of family, god, and country, fade in the toxic smoke of women's liberation and later feminism/gynocentrism. Now women are reprobates in everything they say, think, or do, totally toxic to men's happiness and societies security, all the social ills we have today were cause and effect from women's liberation and the ongoing sickness called feminism.

    All I can say is I've been much more stable, happy, and secure in my own personal one man march away from it all! You're welcome to join me in the only avenue that leads us away from this embedded sickness that has by all accounts destroyed this society and cohesion of men to women. I'll never go back unless every vestige of feminism and gynocentrism is eradicated and destroyed. I know my enemy and I know her well!

  7. #7
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Quote Originally Posted by TomMak View Post
    I distinctly remember being told by my father that somewhere out there was this perfect woman that God had chosen for me and that I would meet her when the time was right.
    LOL! That old lie! My god, it's right up there with "Wombat, you will make some woman a great husband one day!" which translates to "Dude, you are un-fuckable."

    I recall listening to a recoding from a SubGenius X-Day. The church of the SubGenius is kooky, countercultural, weird, a parody religion. Think burning man. Think nude people in glitter. There was this panel of three chicks who addressed this very question and trotted out exactly the same old bullshit: "somewhere, there's a yeti mate just for you!" Holy shit: exactly the same line you hear in christianity. Where's that special someone now? What's she doing right this moment? She's fucking an alpha, that's what.

    Welcome to the forum, anyway.

  8. #8
    Member TomMak's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Thanks,Unboxxed, #Redpillbible and mgtower, for the positive feedback and expressions of support, and …


    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Wombat View Post
    Where's that special someone now? What's she doing right this moment? She's fucking an alpha, that's what.

    Welcome to the forum, anyway.
    thanks, Mr Wombat, for the“tough love”. Even now that's an uncomfortable image for me to have in my head, but you're not wrong in what you say and it's also for that reason a welcome booster shot against any lingering blue-pill feelings.


    Well it wasn't my intention to document my whole life here but,with Unboxxed's encouraging words in mind, I shall continue in similar vein.


    My marriage break-up wasn't the redpill moment that you might imagine. For a long time I flipped between blaming myself for what happened and thinking that I'd just been too hasty or unlucky in my choice of spouse. My eventual awakening was the cumulative effect of hearing so many similar stories from friends and observing how women operated in my place of work. That combination of influences has deterred me from getting "romantically" involved with another woman and, so far as my attitude to working with females is concerned, transformed me from a liberal/progressive to a closeted male chauvinist.


    I don't necessarily subscribe to AWALT when it comes to female workplace capabilities. Like men,women come with a variety of skills, aptitudes and experiences that may well fit them for one role or another. I have worked with some excellent female legal advisers, for example. But, in my experience (mainly of the UK civil service), appointing a woman to a senior managerial position is never a good move. I have seen many instances where the organization has become infused with a culture that favors style over substance. This is usually the result of“soft skills” in which women supposedly excel -presentation etc- being valued over typically male qualities such as a reasoned and methodical approach to problem-solving, attention to detail and an emphasis on precision and accuracy. Men demonstrating these latter skills but not the in-vogue "soft skills" are frequently written off as “out of touch”. Add into the mix many of the female attributes seen in relationships, such as hamstering, and you have a recipe for disaster!


    I firmly believe that it should be acceptable to preference male over female candidates when selecting for a much wider range of roles than just those deemed too physically demanding for a woman. Of course this is a view that one is no longer free to express without risk of censure and that, in its practical application, would now be illegal in many jurisdictions.


    Picking up the narrative in regard to my son. Although custody was given to his mother when we divorced, she did at least honor an informal agreement that I would continue to have major involvement in his life including regular contact, and we were able to maintain that until his mid-teens. Thereafter I saw less of him due to the physical distance between us but nevertheless maintained a good relationship with him. Of course he is now fully-grown and … married. He had the evidence of what had occurred between me and his mother to consider, but apparently that wasn't enough to put him off and so long as he appears happy and optimistic about his future prospects then I do not consider it my place to interfere. I will of course be there for him if (when?) it all falls apart. (As an aside, I don't see much in the forum from MGTOW fathers and how, if at all, their red pill awakening has impacted their parenting. I guess the default is that dad is edged out of the picture entirely when a relationship breaks down - I may have been lucky in that respect.)


    As for me, since 2011 I've been in the happy financial position of not needing to work so things are pretty good and I have plenty of time to pursue my various leisure interests (primarily researching and writing on local history, reading, hiking, photography, swimming). I have no female influence in my life and am determined to keep it that way

  9. #9
    Member TomMak's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Why I choose celibacy. I decided to add a few lines on this topic, since I haven't as yet found much about it elsewhere in the forums.

    After a handful of casual sexual encounters following my divorce I became functionally celibate around a decade ago and made a conscious decision to permanently renounce both sexual intercourse and masturbation 6 months ago. At one level these decisions were the result of a cold cost-benefit analysis: the satisfaction I obtained from the experiences was in inverse proportion to the time, effort and money required to procure or bring them about. A factor in this, undoubtedly, was that my Catholic/blue pill upbringing had compromised my ability to enjoy sexual stimulation and release outside the context of that mythical “perfect marriage” that was promised to me as child. Post-red pill, however, I just couldn't shake the feeling that any sexual interaction with a woman -even in the form of an image on a computer screen or in my head- meant that I was still at some level a victim of the gynocentric shit-show that was daily becoming more apparent to me. My own biology was a weapon that women could still use against me, and I determined for my own protection and peace of mind to deprive them of it.

    In the end it hasn't been as difficult as I imagined. I didn't need to sign up for a no-fap program or lock my junk in one of those "chastity" devices that women are now buying to control their victims' peckers. (Don't believe me? Just check out KeptForHer.com!) Stop scratching the itch and it will eventually stop itching. At any rate, that has been my experience. I'm not trying to turn on or convert anybody to celibacy, or to suggest that there are no other options for MGTOW, but what I have so far gained in terms of time, energy mental clarity and self-respect/personal autonomy has definitely made it worthwhile for me.
    Last edited by TomMak; April 5, 2019 at 6:21 AM.
    "I am​ a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?" (Joe Bob Briggs)

  10. #10
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Quote Originally Posted by TomMak View Post
    Why I choose celibacy. I decided to add a few lines on this topic, since I haven't as yet found much about it elsewhere in the forums. After a handful of casual sexual encounters following my divorce I became functionally celibate around a decade ago and made a conscious decision to permanently renounce both sexual intercourse and masturbation 6 months ago. At one level these decisions were the result of a cold cost-benefit analysis: the satisfaction I obtained from the experiences was in inverse proportion to the time, effort and money required to procure or bring them about. A factor in this, undoubtedly, was that my Catholic/blue pill upbringing had compromised my ability to enjoy sexual stimulation and release outside the context of that mythical “perfect marriage” that was promised to me as child. Post-red pill, however, I just couldn't shake the feeling that any sexual interaction with a woman -even in the form of an image on a computer screen- meant that I was still at some level a victim of the gynocentric shit-show that was daily becoming more apparent to me. My own biology was a weapon that women could still use against me, and I determined for my own protection and peace of mind to deprive them of it.

    In the end it hasn't been as difficult as I imagined. I didn't need to sign up for a no-fap program or lock my junk in one of those "chastity" devices that women are now buying to control their victims' peckers. (Don't believe me? Just check out KeptForHer.com!) Stop scratching the itch and it will eventually stop itching. At any rate, that has been my experience. I'm not trying to turn on or convert anybody to celibacy, or to suggest that there are no other options for MGTOW, but what I have so far gained in terms of time, energy mental clarity and self-respect/personal autonomy has definitely made it worthwhile for me.
    BRAVO! There's no shame in depriving women of their manipulative power to gain mastery over a man! I walked away from women, relationshits and sex in 1997. There's no gain, only loss in any investment made in them. Now with the MSM vilifying men and exhaling women it's expected their behavior and mindset to be narcissistic to the end degree! There's no cure for what feminism and the women's liberation movements have done to destroy this society by dismantling man from our rightful role and position in a wholesome and productive society and culture, the only cure is to abandon them to their own ends.
    No anger, no animosity, no jealousy, no revenge, just an unwavering indifference both society and modern women have both instilled in me. There's no fixing anything, there's only living day by day in sovereignty, solidarity, with deep felt security and inner peace.

  11. #11
    Member TomMak's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Quote Originally Posted by mgtower View Post
    There's no cure for what feminism and the women's liberation movements have done to destroy this society by dismantling man from our rightful role and position in a wholesome and productive society and culture, the only cure is to abandon them to their own ends. No anger, no animosity, no jealousy, no revenge, just an unwavering indifference both society and modern women have both instilled in me. There's no fixing anything, there's only living day by day in sovereignty, solidarity, with deep felt security and inner peace.
    This has to be the best definition/explanation of MGTOW I've seen to date. I'll keep these words with me. Inspirational.
    "I am​ a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?" (Joe Bob Briggs)

  12. #12
    Senior Member Don Keyknob's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Quote Originally Posted by TomMak View Post


    thanks, Mr Wombat, for the“tough love”. Even now that's an uncomfortable image for me to have in my head, but you're not wrong in what you say and it's also for that reason a welcome booster shot against any lingering blue-pill feelings.

    Moving forwards, that's one of the main things that you'll need to get over and absolutely accept Tom.

    I've had those thoughts. I'm sure that we all have - to some degree.

    Hopefully you will get to a point where that kind of thought won't concern you in the slightest. It's her life, let her get on with it. You can't control what she does...only what you do.

    So concentrate solely on what you need and where you want to be - the rest of it is just there to mess with your head. Don't allow it to.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Joetech's Avatar
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Welcome Tom. The perfect woman? Yeah, I was married to her for about thirteen years. Any idea how many ex's she has now? Oh, never mind. You haven't met her yet, that's right. Welcome to the forums. Maybe you guys can help me write my next book...Retirement in the 21st Century. You're only ten years behind me, Tom, but you're way ahead of the crowd. Guys, this is how to go MGTOW.
    "Don't follow in my footsteps. I stepped in something."

  14. #14
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    Re: Introducing myself, TomMak

    Hey man , it seems that we joined almost the same time approximately. I've been burned by good girls as well in my lifetime sadly and I have never countered any exception to this rule. I guess I'm lucky enough to have been born at this age and be able to connect with other men and learn from their experiences. For a 54 yo guy and a pic I saw you are an attractive man(I hope this cheers you up) and certainly you would've many options with women where I live(they go crazy for blond guys). You seem like a good and educated guy , unfortunately the last two generations this is the type of man women manipulate while enjoying screwing scum. Let me explain.

    I largely believe we are shaped by our environments parents and peers until we reach a certain age in which our personality "locks". What happens today is that girls have seen their mother kick out their father and spend time with every loser on the planet, so they think that’s what a successful man is all about. An unsuccessful man was their father who wanted to stay but was forced away and probably victimized financially by mom (ie he’s powerless, a loser, a failure). And yet people wonder why thugs/losers have an appeal to women.
    If it was the straight A student that was popular with girls, things would be different. Instead, it’s the failing drug addict smoking pot behind the gym while cutting classes.

    This is all a product of our culture and feminism leading to this senario IMO. You will notice as years go by a high status man loses his value for women.There is nothing we can do anymore besides use women for sex(they have nothing else to offer) , leave the game or suffer. And good men will suffer, since women choose and reproduce scumbags. Scumbags are everywhere and good hearted men are unable to do justice anymore.

    The thing is today women behave in predictable ways. In stereotyping behaviors. Like a crazy person would. What I mean is all women exhibit exactly the same pattern of behavior as the rest of them. That guy your wife left you for? He's gonna share the same fate as you when the next guy is targeted by your wife. If she were immortal she would go on doing this forever. Detach your ego and remember that it's not your fault . Nor the other guy is better. The woman is just whacko. And you should feel sorry for her, she cannot control her actions, she cannot control anything even if she wanted to.

    Stay loyal to your faith, those principles in my opinion form a good and stable nice life . Remember that people who engage in deviant behavior are gonna suffer in the long term(sad but true) , don't hate them. Deviant choices offer good short term benefits but there is always a reaction to everything in this universe, that reaction is suffering long term. And while good men might suffer in the short run, there is always bliss in the end of the tunnel. Stay strong and welcome.


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