Not really used to the intro idea, but sure, i will give it a shot.
I think i have been taking the red pill without me knowing what it was for quite some time now, about 6 years i think. I wouldn't say that i was a complete mangina before that but i was really into this one girl i met back at school. You know, perfect hair, body, face etc, used to drive me nuts
We really didn't hang with the same group and i lived out of town, so only time i saw her was in school. Lets just say that i pussied out for 3 years to ask her out. To my defense, i was a bit fat back then, socially awkward, and not much experience with women, so that didn't help to boost my confidence, but i was working on that. The whole "school" lasted 3 years, and in few months after the first school year begun, me and 2 of my newly acquired friends decided to start doing parkour, you know the extreme sport where you run around like a monkey doped on crack, minus the noise.
So anyways, we where very active with it, sometimes missing class all day, or just went off early, and we roughly spent 7 hours on average each day doing parkour. Yes, sore to the bones for months, even my fingers. Why that is important to the story is that firstly it raised my confidence, in my own ability, getting used to doing crazy stuff etc. And that secondly, i did get in the best shape of my life. Now my diet was still awful but delicious, mostly consisted of a bowl of cereal with milk and a bit of sugar, after that a whole bag of peanuts covered in chocolate, and half a kilo of curd with raisins. Yeah, that was pretty much my late night dinner, while training we mostly ate snickers and drank sprite to keep the energy up. Did get some normal food down too but to this day i wonder what i could have achieved if would have eaten correctly, right from the beginning.
Got a bit off topic there but what i am saying is that i drastically improved my market value, especially during summer breaks. Obviously i had no idea about it at that time, but i was getting female attention quite often, just random girls going by in school and saying hello, female classmates offering me a pen or a ruler, without me even asking etc. But my eye was still on the prize. Still didn't get attention from her. So that went on about all the way through these 3 years, i didn't have any girlfriends at that time, mainly because i really didn't want one, i was super busy with parkour and i liked it that way, me and the guys after school, hitting the town, you know. Would have liked her though.
At the end of the school, the graduation ceremony, was the time when i decided to fuck it. So i grew some balls, i stalked her like a creepy pervert for a few minutes to catch her at the exactly right moment. (didn't have to track her down, you know that you always know where "SHE" is )
And so i made my move, well sort of, lets just say i was too much of a pussy to ask her on a date(mind you i practically haven't spoken to any girl for about 4 years at that moment), but i did ask her msn contacts (that was big and popular back in that day), so that went smoothly. I also gave her some bunch flowers that i basically had stolen from the principals flower garden/big ass pot.
We both were there with our families so we parted ways and later chatted through msn, maybe even that night, not really sure.
Up to that point things were going great, slow as hell, but great.
Sooo, first setback came when i found out that she had a boyfriend. Well not the end of the world, you know, pretty girl wont stay single for long. So i kept my distance, i like to think that i honor the guy code, you know "don't fuck with other guys woman", not while they are in a relationship. So i continued to do parkour, and we pretty much talked every evening for hours.
yeaahh, friendzoned. At that time i didn't know it or just though that it is a myth, damn you all those hollywood movies. We did go out time to time, just the two of us, movies etc, of course she dressed to kill, one time she had a tight sexy blue dress, on a warm summer day, which barely covered her ass and boobs (without shoulder straps), and of course nice heels. So she was a 10+
Anyways at some point in time she started to change guys pretty often, and talking about her ex guys to me, and all the other drama, things that i obviously i do not want to hear about. So at some point i tell her that i like her and that i want to bang her right on that stool over there, well i didn't tell the last part, but i should have
Then she goes nuts, starts at it how she thought that i only wanted to be friends, well fuck me right, i thought it was pretty obvious what i wanted
Its hard to summarize the how exactly it went but at some point i started to notice that she was just using me. Just using my affection for her, for her own personal gain.
Let's just say that i finally woke up when we were heading to clubs, which i normally don't like to do, i like to stay sober, and actually work on my projects etc. So that was my first no no moment, i thought to myself, would my life be governed by her will, if we were ever to hook up. Anyways i knew i wasn't happy with that plan, first it started as a plan to chill at her place, just the two of us.
At the clubs we met two other guys, one was her long time friend, not an ex, the other was a russian, who barely spoke estonian, so that was good. We started the night off by playing drinking cards, i was drinking whiskey, the guys beers, and she cocktails. With all the playing we all got pretty wasted, so we when to another club, more suitable for dancing, the first one was more of a bar.
So i was hanging out with her near the bar, the two guys had disappeared somewhere. It was getting late or early, and there was bunch of people dancing behind us, so i asked her if she would like to dance, and she was like, "nah, i am tired, just going to sit here and just listed to the music, you know"
So i though, yeah, sure, we have been out for a while. And right then the two guys stumbled back, even more drunk than ever, the russian guy even had some plastic rings around his neck, something similar to toilet seats, or something.
So he stumbles over to her and holds out his arm and asks her to dance.
With a happy and exited face she says, yeah sure. And springs up like she just got a shot of vitamin C + glucose right up her veins, and off they go, into the smoke.
And i am just like "you, fucking idiot. It's official, you are a dumbass, well done!"
I wasn't pissed at the russian guy, i wasn't even pissed at her.
I just sat back down on my stool (during that event i somehow managed to smoothly flow off it, without even noticing it),and ordered a Coke from the bartender.
And decided right there and then that i would never put myself in that situation again. You know how you think that the girl you like is special, well they aren't. Yes there are some girls who are better and there are those who are worse. But mostly girls are like her.
So i spent the night at her place, because no transport went out of town at night.
In the morning i woke up with a really shitty hangover, while she slept happily next to me, i guess she had gotten what she wanted.
i decided that i won't contact her ever again, i will reply when she contacts me, but will not start the contact myself, or do her any favors. It was hard at first and it was hard later, but i got out. Slowly we talked less, and after few months not at all. About a year ago, she wrote to me and asked me how i was doing, i told her i was doing great, new car better job etc. And i kept the conversation short. Haven't talked to her since. I still see a picture of her on FB from time to time, still feel something from time to time, but fuck it, that hole ain't worth the exploration, besides, that is a mapped territory now, even a frigging kid went and destroyed it. So good riddance.
I am actually glad that it went this way, otherwise i could have ended up with her, married and with a kid etc. Thanks, but no thanks.
I discovered MGTOW movement only very recently, stumbled upon it on youtube, i think it was a video with Marc Rudov that i saw first.
Let me tell you guys, there is absolutely no reason to get married. Even if the laws would be well made and equal. If you get married and they change the marriage law, they will not notify you of the change and you will not have 30 day notice to get out of that marriage to avoid the update. You will get whatever somebody adds into this nonsense.
Marriage is bullshit feelgood, made to make money and to give women the emotional event they so want and need, just like diamond rings etc.
Have you guys noticed how men and women dreams are different from one another.
Men dream about things that they achieve, or in a more process oriented way, things they have to do in order to get them.
While women about things that they will get, or thing that somebody else needs to be involved in. For example, they need somebody to marry them, to provide for them etc.
A bit about myself:
I am a dude, 27 currently, i live in Estonia and i would consider myself a pretty successful guy. I rent an apartment, drive a nice Lexus. I make a whopping 12 000 usd per year at my job as a welder(which is actually pretty good pay here, imagine that ) , there is a saying in our country (roughly translated) "It is fine to work in Estonia, but you have to have your own money"
I play guitar, do sports, am a bit of a PC wizard/nerd, i do urban exploration, climbing and lock picking + some other stuff.
I have a book out and i enjoy working on tons of my projects. I also invite you to check out the international gold digger whore registry, that just went live today. It is totally free and i do not make any money from it, not even a single ad anywhere. Hoping that people will share it as it seems to be the common goal for many of us.
A person asked me about my avatar. Why such avatar? Well, i still like to look at women. In video games i used to make a female character, especially in third person games, like fallout series etc.
If i have to look at an ass all day, i better make sure that it is a very nice looking ass, belonging to the right pixel gender.
I like it, that is why i chose it, in that sense not any different from the your choices.
A bit of eye-candy never hurt nobody, besides reminds me of her