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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2019

    There is something inhumane about them

    Hello everyone,

    I have heard of mgtow for about a year now on the web, been watching and reading on and off, I knew if there was a community I was going to be a part of, it was this one, and here I am.

    My awakening or "Red Pilling" came with what I feel is a unique twist, or maybe not, from a glance it seems many of you have had your shit rocked at some point, and there she is. After falling apart, Alcoholics Anonymous helped put me back together, and I suppose, otherwise I would not be able to speak so openly and with these eyes wide open, illustrate what is my life, in its rawest form.

    My father was a lawyer and a very good lawyer at that, he was also an alcoholic an excellent alcoholic. I lived with him for some time however I did not get to know him so much, so for a large amount of time, my image of him came from my mother's perspective. My mother never strived for anything, she had the mentality where she'd tell my sisters to find a rich man. My mother woke me up one day while sleeping with her, my sister and my father together, quietly, and told my sister & I we were going to Disney World. We left Mexico that day and headed to New York, USA, I did not see my father again for many years.

    I live with her, her mother, her sisters and my sisters. I was the only dude. My aunts where indifferent. Unfortunately I was a bed wetter and my grandmother believed I was just lazy so she would scold me by giving me a cold shower (literally and emotionally cold) for many years. My mother ignored it, although she did make me feel like she would stand up for me, she didn't. For a long time I viewed my mother as a saint, and her mother as the devil. Fortunately, eventually we left after she found a boyfriend who became my stepfather. He was a douche but so much better than my grandmother. I don't want to digress, however this information will come together later.

    I was a virgin for what I felt was a long time, loosing my virginity at 19. It was very difficult for me to talk to girls, and in general with anyone I did not build a connection with at first. Just to gloss through High school; it was awkward, I found it difficult to get a girlfriend because of my shyness, I had a best friend who was a girl that gave me hints of being attracted to me but never wanted more to keep me friend zoned, eventually I went out with a girl that was not my first choice but I said heck I had to start somewhere right, and she cheated on me and I forgave her and it didn't work out. A few girls popped up afterwards nothing became serious and on hindsight I feel they were just playing me, but I was too stupid to see then. At this point I began learning up on PUA material and that helped move me along, I didn't become a pro, but it did help.

    Life was fine until things happened and I got kicked out of my house, I remember an Aunt, the Christian One accidentally sending me a text message, apparently she accidentally sent it to everyone on her phone and I had recently been added to her cell. She was spreading juicy gossip about how I recently kicked out, so everyone in the family knew. I lived in the street a few days, a few friends and strangers helped a while, eventually a mother of a friend (not my closest friend) let me stay for a while. That moment you realize your closest friends are not-so-good friends.

    At this point I was still very lost, and fortunately I am slick especially when pressed and I was able to get a apartment larger than my mothers house after making a real estate deal. At this point my drug consumption exploded, but only up to a limit set by my wallet.

    Here at this point at around 18 I thought I had things figured out. If only I could get a girl, woosh things would be perfect, so I thought.

    Fast-forward and I went back to Mexico to live with my father who allowed me to stay with him and helped me go to college, well at least he help me with the first two semesters. At some point he began drinking again and had a new girlfriend who was very fake, and a total... Well she would facilitate my fathers drinking even though the family (My step sisters and I) opposed it.

    My fathers' girlfriend was a psychopath, like in the full sense of the word. Manipulative and crazy, running around the house naked and screaming, kind of crazy. I suppose for her age she had a good body and that's what compelled my father to continue with her. At some point she began giving him pharmaceutical drugs, I know one was Xanax and other I believe where anti depressants she would take but managed to convince my father to take them as well. My father was not looking well. That bitch was so fake, I feel stupid for not realizing what she was up to.

    My father died, he had his stomach bloated, larger than that of a pregnant woman, as I understand it was due to the alcohol. By this point he had closed himself off with his lover and her son and entrusted documents to properties and other valuables to them, to hand over to a sister who had been with my father at the Hospital when he died. Properties & other valuables went missing.

    My sister did not tell anyone about my father's state, until he was dying that's when I received a phone call, telling me he was going to die. That bitch sister also was a control freak and asked me not to tell my father he was going to die, I don't know if he knew but I could not help but to break into tears when I saw him. He brushed me off, we had been fighting since before, he was very stubborn and I was upset because I felt he had abandoned me all the years before, so unfortunately our goodbye was not so warm.

    That same stepsister would later screw us over with some of the inheritance that I am to this day disputing.

    So what is this unique twist, in my awaking?

    After my fathers day I slowly but surely ranked up my marijuana consumption, my drug of choice, as well as cigarettes, those litter bastards are hard to let go. I also had a girlfriend who was a mean loving psychotic bitch. To summarize she would try to get back at me every time I would end our relationship by basically forcing me to go back out with her, which would not work (on-the-moment) and did things including punching me in public, kicking me out of my apartment, breaking the windows of my house calling the police on me and almost, and I do mean almost putting me in prison, thank god for cool guy cops.

    It was amazing, she could punch me in the head in public and nothing would happen to her, if i pushed her off and ran, a jr police guy would chase me and beat me down and a crowd of people would see her crying and hear that I had hit her and be proud of my ass wooping. One guy even said "You know what they do to women beaters in prison", insinuating that I deserved to get raped for hitting her, which is baffling.

    To the point where a tiny scratch would be written as a 3 month injury by a medical person at the police station who was trying to help her as that man saw her as the victim and wanted to make it easy for me to end up in prison.

    I would always end up back with her...

    However there was a point where I decided to leave her for good, that's when I went to live in my fathers house.

    The pressure, the lack of sleep, my fathers death, the drugs the unhealthy lifestyle caused me to develop a form of Schizophrenia, which had me acting loony for a couple of months. I behaved in a way I feel very embarrassed about and I can say without a doubt that I came to hit rock bottom.

    My twist: One of my schizophrenic "realities", was one where we men live in a world ruled by women or where women are far more evolved, more intelligent. A world where they have a secret way of communicating among them and are fully aware of the many more benefits they enjoy over men. The fact that they use manipulation while men use physical attacks, for example was proof of their superiority, not to mention that a man would generally have to excerpt so much effort to become successful, while a woman simply needs to give up her ass to become a queen or very wealthy, and that's all the effort, so its the more efficient route. In my eyes I had met many men that would seem "broken" after getting married or having children, broken by their female.

    I suppose being surrounded by women most of my life, and they all being snakes or harmful and indifferent bitches helped me develop this schizophrenic reality, which In some ways I am dealing with to this day.

    Alcoholics Anonymous helped put me back together. It would give me the strength to stand my ground, letting go of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes feels like a blessing, and I recommend all of you to try it, in good heart. My "godfather", or "padrino" as we call them here in Alcolics Anonymous, really helped lead me in the right direction, even as far as offering to help me get over my psychotic girlfriend, however I rejected it, since was so sure I was able to handle her myself.

    I went back out with that psychotic bitch. And I am ashamed of saying that, here and just knowing what it means. I told myself I would end her if she did not let go of drugs and she promised she would she swore it on her love for me and... squat.

    I don't believe I am truly happy with her, however I can't gather the strength or willingness to be alone, I tell myself I can terminate her whenever I want and I certainly feel that is true. I suppose a bummer for me is knowing I will most likely end up having to go through the courtship process with another girl to build up the rapport to have what I have now with this girl, and I don't feel its worth it just yet...

    I am a self-taught software developer and just recently I claim myself an electrical engineer and my career is at a very cozy point FINALLY, earning very well for a national company. I enjoy programming most of my free time and that's what I do for a living, recently for fun I like playing chess online. I used to smoke marijuana an go to pizza bars with friends as a past time but I am glad that is no more.

    I know politics is about money, I've met politicians and they are usually dumb as a whistle, I am aware that he mainstream media is a mouth-peace for the rich and the government. I also believe feminism is a bullshit parade, however I am on the side that believes that theses females are not stupid, they are not going for equal rights, they are going for MORE RIGHTS. I want to be clear, I see past what seems like emotional stupidity, I believe they are more intelligent than men on average. I mean, here in Mexico, a lot of these females don't work and are fat as hell while their man is skinny and works all the time. Do the math.

    I have this not-so-far dream where after a while of saving up my money I will be able to live quite comfortable without needing to work as it is way easier to survive here in Mexico and I earn enough to invest and eventually be able to live off the interest. That's my dream and in the bottom of my heart, it is at this point where I tell myself will give a middle finger to my girlfriend and my mother and my sisters, my entire family and go my own way for good.

  2. #2
    Administrator Unboxxed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014

    Re: There is something inhumane about them

    Hi passion,

    Thank you for your kind words about our site.

    Yours was a very interesting read. I commend you on your ongoing recovery from alcohol and the strides you have made there. As you pointed out, it is the basis for your ability to take with expressive candor an inventory of your life.

    As I read, I was trying to categorize your information into the three discussion points that are required to be discussed per our How To Intro sticky, which is found in the New Member Intros subforum, in order to form my reply to you about how much of it you have left out during the expression of your story here.

    However, by the time I got to the end, I read that you have a girlfriend from whom you cannot yet break away and that you are fairly certain you would seek out another girlfriend to replace her:

    I suppose a bummer for me is knowing I will most likely end up having to go through the courtship process with another girl to build up the rapport to have what I have now with this girl, and I don't feel its worth it just yet...
    Finally, you confirm that have not yet gone your own way:

    it is at this point where I tell myself will give a middle finger to my girlfriend and my mother and my sisters, my entire family and go my own way for good.
    Our site is read by many men who are seeking strength to get to that point where they are fed up with women in the role of Girlfriend or Significant Other. You appear to be one of these men in that you are still working on it, you are fortifying yourself, assembling your resolve, but have not Gone Your Own Way.

    Registered membership on this site, however, is for men who have indeed Gone Their Own Way as explained in their Intro. They have broken away from women as Girlfriends and Significant Others and do not plan to replace them with new Girlfriends or Significant Others. It is for this reason that I am closing your account.

    Please continue to read here and anywhere you choose as you work on going your own way. When you achieve it, you can again register here and complete the required Intro discussion points to tell us all about it. In the mean time, unregistered guests can post in the Opposing Views subforum, allowing for 2-way communication there between guests and our membership. It's called Opposing Views but allies can still comment there.

    I will leave open this thread so that members can comment to you with any words of encouragement.

    Thank you, and good luck.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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