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Thread: Hokahey!

  1. #1

    Hokahey!

    Alright... I feel like I'm going to be writing my life story in explaining just how -hard- it was to unplug, but I'll try and keep it brief.

    My mother was ofcourse a feminist schoolteacher, and she demonized my father to me and my brother while he was out bringing home the bacon. In fact, I can honestly say that I only really just met him a few months back. He was always there, but she had us convinced that he was basically the anti-christ.

    Being a schoolteacher, her public image was paramount to her. NOTHING ELSE MATTERED. If we even got a little rowdy in the Winn-Dixie, we'd have to listen to her scream and cry for 30 minutes, before she bitched out my Dad for hours about how it was all his fault. If we ever got in trouble at school, it was the end of the world. So ofcourse bullies loved it, a quiet victim who would be violently punished for standing up to them. Life was a never ending nightmare.

    A choice becomes a habit becomes a reflex. And since I was socialized to always ask for help, always seek permission, always please others, always SUBMIT no matter what the cost... I was basically Super-simp.

    Lots of emotionally abusive relationships with predatory women later, I finally got married, but due to PTSD from abusers and a helpful does of autism, I'm extremely difficult to live with. I'm not mean, but I'm super co-dependent, because I was trained to be, like a damn dog. And my ex-wife actually was a NAWALT. I know this because she refused to divorce-rape me when we split up, even gave me money to make sure I had food. She's a saint. Ain't it awful that you can only find out how good a person is when she divorces you?

    I was alone for a while, and then I got a message on FB from my oldest childhood friend. We met when we were 8, played in the dirt together for years. She loved-bombed the hell out of me, sold me the white-picket fence, all the regular gold-digger stuff; got me moved in then blew through every last dime I had. Victory was always just around the corner, and when I looked at her, my heart saw my little friend. She knew that and wielded it like a club.

    I left when it got so bad that the only way I could keep us going for another month would be to sell my car. I was literally screaming and crying while I was driving the moving truck to a town 3 hours away, because it was my only option for crash-space. She took more than my money... She destroyed my belief in love. Because *this was my chance*!! My chance to Do It Right.. my second chance at love, marriage, the American Scream.

    Got so depressed I just stopped eating, lost 150 lbs and consequently I'm in the best shape of my life, lol. What a way to diet!

    A few months later, my first girlfriend ever (who ghosted me when I was afraid to fuck her at 15, cause I was a virgin and wanted to take it slow) drunk-dialed me and said that she wished she had married me, had my kids and lived out in the country. And it was too bad that she has 4 kids and is married to a self-made rich man, but hey.. we could still be friends.

    It was like a Quantum-Mechanical Friendzoning, that reached back across time and space, smashed Everything I ever wanted; and the landed with the weight of 27 years. So I killed myself, ofcourse. Thanks to divine intervention and modern medicine, I fully recovered from the poison and the hypothermia, but was shattered mentally and emotionally.

    My first -actual- red pill was when a former FB friend made a post about Why is it that MRA's only bring up sexual abuse against men when a feminist is talking. I told her that they talk about it all the time, but nobody cares. Then I told the stories of my abuse, and she said that No, we aren't talking about that, She was here for REAL VICTIMS (ie, vagina). I flipped out and started googling, and the only article I could even find was by Rollo Tomasi..

    It still took a long time before I started watching Sandman videos, then Sunrise Hoodie, and now RFSquare and R P M (who is hilarious)... Also Hammerhand.

    So there's your book. Have a nice day.

    ps. I live outside of Nashville, TN; am currently disabled due to a workplace injury, and I'm mostly just watching MGTOW stuff all day to try and cope with the Redpill Rage.. It's working, slowly. I like books, Darkest Dungeon, very subtly dropping red-pills in blue pill spaces, and my cat.

  2. #2

    Goddamnit....

    I wrote a big long introductory post, and apparently the goddamn forums ate it. I don't feel like doing that again, so now I'm giving you the short version

    Raised, and very much trained, like a goddamn dog; to be an absolute MANGINA, surrogate husband for my mother. Any form of self-respect was violently punished.

    Got mangled by a man-eater/blue-baller in college. I was the orbiter, and yes she loved every minute of it.

    Married, divorced. My ex-wife was an actual NAWALT, because she -didn't- divorce-rape me.. She took her shit, I took mine.. Miracle.

    Taken to the cleaners by a gold-digger who was my oldest childhood friend, she sold me the White-Picket fence, and fully leveraged our childhood against me. Pure fucking gluttony.

    Finally started watching Sandman, Sunrise Hoodie and Hammerhand last summer. Also really enjoy Replicant Fish and R P M... Hockey-Mask-Time is hilarious...

    So that's me...

  3. #3
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Goddamnit....

    I saw your original Intro earlier, here:

    http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow...hokahey-11897/

    and for some reason unknown to me, it was marked Moderated which means it has to be approved. I don't know why that happened, and the Admin of the site recently told me it's a power he has as I am new Mod here, so I assumed he was in motion on it. But now I see your post above and I'm thinking gee what if it was an automation glitch. So, I approved your original Intro just now and lets hope I haven't stepped on Admin's toes, but I don't want anything to annoy you further! How about if I delete this thread and we continue with that one?
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

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    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    And.... I just learned how to merge threads. Sorry for the hassle.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  5. #5
    Moderator sirreaper's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    Quote Originally Posted by devilcomeknockin View Post
    Alright... I feel like I'm going to be writing my life story in explaining just how -hard- it was to unplug, but I'll try and keep it brief.

    My mother was ofcourse a feminist schoolteacher, and she demonized my father to me and my brother while he was out bringing home the bacon. In fact, I can honestly say that I only really just met him a few months back. He was always there, but she had us convinced that he was basically the anti-christ.

    Being a schoolteacher, her public image was paramount to her. NOTHING ELSE MATTERED. If we even got a little rowdy in the Winn-Dixie, we'd have to listen to her scream and cry for 30 minutes, before she bitched out my Dad for hours about how it was all his fault. If we ever got in trouble at school, it was the end of the world. So ofcourse bullies loved it, a quiet victim who would be violently punished for standing up to them. Life was a never ending nightmare.

    A choice becomes a habit becomes a reflex. And since I was socialized to always ask for help, always seek permission, always please others, always SUBMIT no matter what the cost... I was basically Super-simp.

    Lots of emotionally abusive relationships with predatory women later, I finally got married, but due to PTSD from abusers and a helpful does of autism, I'm extremely difficult to live with. I'm not mean, but I'm super co-dependent, because I was trained to be, like a damn dog. And my ex-wife actually was a NAWALT. I know this because she refused to divorce-rape me when we split up, even gave me money to make sure I had food. She's a saint. Ain't it awful that you can only find out how good a person is when she divorces you?

    I was alone for a while, and then I got a message on FB from my oldest childhood friend. We met when we were 8, played in the dirt together for years. She loved-bombed the hell out of me, sold me the white-picket fence, all the regular gold-digger stuff; got me moved in then blew through every last dime I had. Victory was always just around the corner, and when I looked at her, my heart saw my little friend. She knew that and wielded it like a club.

    I left when it got so bad that the only way I could keep us going for another month would be to sell my car. I was literally screaming and crying while I was driving the moving truck to a town 3 hours away, because it was my only option for crash-space. She took more than my money... She destroyed my belief in love. Because *this was my chance*!! My chance to Do It Right.. my second chance at love, marriage, the American Scream.

    Got so depressed I just stopped eating, lost 150 lbs and consequently I'm in the best shape of my life, lol. What a way to diet!

    A few months later, my first girlfriend ever (who ghosted me when I was afraid to fuck her at 15, cause I was a virgin and wanted to take it slow) drunk-dialed me and said that she wished she had married me, had my kids and lived out in the country. And it was too bad that she has 4 kids and is married to a self-made rich man, but hey.. we could still be friends.

    It was like a Quantum-Mechanical Friendzoning, that reached back across time and space, smashed Everything I ever wanted; and the landed with the weight of 27 years. So I killed myself, ofcourse. Thanks to divine intervention and modern medicine, I fully recovered from the poison and the hypothermia, but was shattered mentally and emotionally.

    My first -actual- red pill was when a former FB friend made a post about Why is it that MRA's only bring up sexual abuse against men when a feminist is talking. I told her that they talk about it all the time, but nobody cares. Then I told the stories of my abuse, and she said that No, we aren't talking about that, She was here for REAL VICTIMS (ie, vagina). I flipped out and started googling, and the only article I could even find was by Rollo Tomasi..

    It still took a long time before I started watching Sandman videos, then Sunrise Hoodie, and now RFSquare and R P M (who is hilarious)... Also Hammerhand.

    So there's your book. Have a nice day.

    ps. I live outside of Nashville, TN; am currently disabled due to a workplace injury, and I'm mostly just watching MGTOW stuff all day to try and cope with the Redpill Rage.. It's working, slowly. I like books, Darkest Dungeon, very subtly dropping red-pills in blue pill spaces, and my cat.
    Helluva story man. Welcome to the forums!
    SR

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  6. #6
    Super Moderator Mr Wombat's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    Welcome to the forum.

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    Re: Hokahey!

    The parents had a lot a trouble with my older brother cause he was got away with too much when he was little. When I came along they decided this one wasn't getting away from them. So I got trained too. But I was a lot luckier than you, and the schooling I got was mostly for good. One thing sure, there was no teenage rebellion in our house. You didn't mess with my old man.


    I shouldn't preach, since if provoked I can hold a grudge with the best of them. I don't think the rage will ever completely go away. But I'm a geezer now, and it's not anywhere near important as it used to be. So it will take a long time, but you'll eventually calm down.


    Welcome.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Joetech's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    I had a very bumpy relationship with my folks. When someone says "Honor thy father and mother" you should remind them that the Bible ALSO says "Provoke not thy children". Our children are only on loan to us. Eventually, they're supposed to move out and "go their own way". Some parents have a real stick up their ass about this. Welcome to the forums, bro.
    "Don't follow in my footsteps. I stepped in something."

  9. #9
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    Re: Hokahey!

    Good intro brother. Very well written. Welcome.

    Shocking that you survived a divorce without getting raped. As saint-worthy as she is/was, I bet she regrets that. Especially when members of her hive find out she passed up a free meal ticket for life.

    Too funny that a childhood friend resurrects herself from your past to siphon your assets. Hopefully you fucked her like you hated her, every time.

    The drunk dialer is a great example of the insatiable nature of womyn. She is married to a "rich" man with four kids, and is still attempting to stack orbiters, just in case. Womyns must compare how many orbiting options they have at any given time. They must count branches they can monkey swing to as assets the same way that we count cash and invested funds as assets. Even if you're rich, give into marriage, impregnate her four times, she will still be searching for the next best cock on the carousel. Unbelievable.
    ​Have you considered fucking a doll instead?

  10. #10
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    Re: Hokahey!

    A childhood friend once escaped a real divorce rape. She let him off easy, and he was the one that deserved to get screwed. Where he really got over was his gun collection. The guy was a hunting fool, and had been collecting high quality firearms since he was a teenager. His Ex probably didn't understand their value, but in any case she let him keep the lot. So it happens, though not very often.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  11. #11
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    Re: Hokahey!

    Quote Originally Posted by Manuallaborer View Post
    Good intro brother. Very well written.
    Indeed. A great example of what this community is about. The ability to communicate, and then doing so.

    Yes, welcome!
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  12. #12
    Senior Member Boar's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    Damn. That is a series of rough red pills. Glad you made it here.

    As for the rage, it will pass. Then you will experience the contentment of indifference. Your drunk-dialing friend was experiencing regret, which is an easy emotion to succumb to. But, if you are fatalistic towards the past and realize that it will have to be what it is, then the past becomes a valuable pool of experience and not just a series of painful memories. Glib words, I know, but you can make it through the rage.

  13. #13

    Re: Hokahey!

    Good intro. welcome to the forum. I hope you enjoy your stay here. As for the red pill rage it will pass and when the indifference sets in it's a clear sign that you are over it.
    Do what you love to do most and move on. Let the past be past and focus on now, this very moment.
    Wish you all the best
    "MGTOW is an extreme measure to an extreme situation"
    Quote Insidious Sid: "Some men are so MGTOW they're not even MGTOW".
    Quote Life is what you make of it "Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy."

  14. #14
    Senior Member Puggsy's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    Woah! Have you ever considered that your mum might have narcissistic personality disorder? That's pretty rough man, may be you should see a therapist about it. She has probably caused your co-dependent behaviour and I wouldn't be surprised if you suffer from PTSD; narcissistic abuse survivors sadly do often suffer from post-tramautic stress.

    The red pill rage will take some time to abate but for the moment you just need to sit back, relax and have a shot of whisky (or three).

    Welcome.

  15. #15

    Re: Hokahey!

    Nah, she's not a narcissist.. She's totally borderline, though. Very heavy C-PTSD from her childhood. But given what she's done, and that she absolutely refuses to take medicine or help, it's no fucking excuse...

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    Re: Hokahey!

    Quote Originally Posted by devilcomeknockin View Post
    A choice becomes a habit becomes a reflex. And since I was socialized to always ask for help, always seek permission, always please others, always SUBMIT no matter what the cost... I was basically Super-simp.
    I can relate a lot to this. My mother had a grocery list of mental health issues, and was domineering and extremely controlling. My father could be described as a blue-pill, codependent man who decided to take the "victory through defeat" route. This is not a good example to set for young men. When we approached our teenage years, we even questioned dad when mom got really out of hand, and were warned not to EVER do such a thing. It's as if he was saying, in the confines of the car, "Sshhhhhh. She might hear us." Yes, that kind of control.

    Anyways, welcome aboard.
    - Feminism is Cancer.
    - Where have all the good men gone? Away. Far far away... from you.
    - NAWALT? Maybe, but EWALT means Russian Roulette is a much safer bet...

  17. #17
    Senior Member SteelEye's Avatar
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    Re: Hokahey!

    I can relate devilcomeknockin. My mother was an absolute terror. Overweight most of her life, she started to become extremely irrational & violent just around my 12th b'day. My Dad started drinking more to get away from her. he knew she was abusive, & really didn't want to address it, feeling that if he lent his support of my (our, 1 older sister, 1 younger bro), claim, it would divide the family. So she progressed even worse, where her fits of rage would be evident when she broke dishes, tables, overturned our dresser drawers, tore up things we had made, art, etc.

    I finally had enuf, & moved out when I was 18. I barely made it thru high school. I hated and dreaded going home. She landed on a laundry list of anti-depressants in the mid 80's, just when it became "okay" to need such. Prior, my mother & father had this strange fear of needing or employing medicine for the head, or going to a therapist. They just wouldn't do it. It was like living in an institution with a very sick group.

    Amazing , to this day, I can't discuss this with my older sister, because she feels there was nothing wrong with them.
    Oddly, she audits psych reports for a group of therapists now.
    But , the older Sister, the 'Golden Child' was never beat, always nurtured, & viewed as the family's 'savior'. Funny, my brother & I bought homes before her, attended higher ed before her, & had kids, where she could never envision having children. Amazing.

    Well, my intent was NOT a woe is me story, but to welcome you. But , truth be told , it felt good writing it.
    Trust, there's no hate involved, I'm just glad I feel smarter from all that insanity, now you'll be able to spot it a mile away.
    Or as R Daltrey put it, "I can see for miles & miles..............."


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