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  1. #1

    Good to be here.

    Hello all,

    I have been looking at this and other men's forums a while. Lurking in other words. There's plenty of negativity out there but the values and priorities of this forum seem excellent to me - moderators who keep it moderate, avoiding the negativity that is so easy to fall into, and regulars who are a positive force.

    I have made the marriage commitment twice, have been out of the second one for two years now.

    I can recall quite a few events and insights from adolescence onwards that were a glimpse behind the curtain of female privilege disguised as female disadvantage. I think the law here in Australia is less savage than what I read in the accounts from the USA, and have not been severely done-over myself, but I'm still personally appalled by the background belief that men need to compensate women for the privilege we supposedly enjoy - when so many men only do what is spouse-approved, or have to go behind their wives' backs to follow their dreams.

    I read Myth of Male Power many years ago and again as a refresher about four years ago and I think he has nailed it, and I'm not aware of any counter-argument on the facts. Just more whining and ad hominem attacks!

    So through my recent separation, although I had some reason to expect a fair outcome under local law, I also knew I'd have to be firm and ready to fight to have any chance to get that outcome. No children involved this time, children were involved the first time but to my relief the mother did not make that a battleground.

    I work in the education and health/ welfare field, where obviously a lot of women work, and I work on men's women's and kids problems a lot. Definitely fathers missing from kids lives is a huge problem and won't play out well in the future. Lots of hard working women in the field who I really respect as workers, but some can and do easily display a treacherous and self interested attitude to their partners that they wouldn't dream of putting on their colleagues and customers. What enables them to do this is the fact that marriage has been stripped of all obligations other than the financial. It's a contract with only penalty clauses and that means there is no longer any shame in trashing your lifetime vows.

    On my own again, the money just builds up and the fun just keeps coming via hobbies, outdoors, fitness, reading about the world, music. Similar to what so many others on the forum report - where did the time and the money go and why was I always keeping an eye out for trouble? It moved out when she did.

    Still very easy to fall into thinking 'that woman's interesting now I'll figure out how to approach' and the way this forum links those of us who've seen behind the curtain has to be a good safety mechanism. Not sure I'm completely done with relationships but probably don't have time for one, too busy living life. The libido being less than it used to be does make it a lot easier I must say.

    I chose the user name because it was a stage in chemistry before oxygen was identified, where the explanation of fire was completely back to front. The parallel with modern relationships is pretty obvious....

    That's all I've got right now but will be back. Thank you all for being here, you have done me a lot of good already.

    Phlogiston

  2. #2
    Senior Member Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: Good to be here.

    Hi Phlogiston,

    I'm sorry that no one has welcomed you all of this time!

    What hobbies are you into?

    Welcome!
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org

  3. #3
    Senior Member Opaque's Avatar
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    Re: Good to be here.

    Alright mate, could you talk about how women have manipulated you?, give us some examples.
    How do you find women now as opposed to your blue pill mentality? What sources online/offline lead you to MGTOW?

  4. #4
    Moderator William Noy's Avatar
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    Re: Good to be here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Opaque View Post
    Alright mate, could you talk about how women have manipulated you?, give us some examples.
    How do you find women now as opposed to your blue pill mentality? What sources online/offline lead you to MGTOW?
    I agree with Opaque. Please tell us some of your stories (or one really good one).
    Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. --Seneca

  5. #5

    Re: Good to be here.

    Thanks for the welcome, I was starting to feel a bit invisible espec. as the only other post I made took a long time to show up. I had put it down to how Xmas New Years is often a strange time.


    Hobbies - long time car and road bike enthusiast and have had a go at most of the things that make them tick, from mechanical to electronics to paint. Usually these days when I fix something it stays fixed and as I'm not actually a tradesman I am proud of that. Also do what I can around the house by way of repairs and minor upgrades. I take a lot longer than the professionals but I care more about the result because I'm going to have to live with it, so it works out O.K.


    I actually think doing stuff with your hands teaches maturity and patience because it often doesn't go to plan and if you're the one doing it, there's no one else to blame. Whereas a lot of females get the difficult things in life done through or by males and then there's always someone to blame or complain about. And less need to grow the hell up....


    Then there's music - I've played in bands over the years mostly tenor sax; I like to play guitar but have never got into it enough to get good at it. I believe, and some of my musical friends would agree, that for many people there is that one instrument that 'speaks to them' and for me it's the tenor. Plus if you're no good at singing, the sax gives you a great excuse.... 'don't sing with your mouth full'


    Otherwise I enjoy the outdoors and wildlife whether walking the dog, mountain biking or just being in the backyard, I've never liked the city life and have always tried to live near bushland where possible. My present place I get to see a lot of native birds and the occasional rock wallaby, this is good for the soul.


    I read a lot and mostly non-fiction. I find with many fiction books it's like someone just made up a lot of gossip and people drama, and packaged it between two covers. I'm not saying there are no great novels, there surely are, but generally I'd like to have learned something about the world or myself for the time spent. History and world affairs, natural science, ordinary people in extraordinary times which I suppose is also history.


    A story - well I don't have any really outrageous ones but one that really irks me was first wife making all these noises and complaints about being unhappy and could we relocate to a different country – one where my job skills were not recognised, no contacts, no local friends or family etc. I started researching what it would take and I saw it was quite an uphill climb to get my qualifications recognised and maybe get into the equivalent job over there. Plus what do two adults and two kids live on in the meantime?


    So I thought 'she had better be sure of this' before I start putting serious time and then money into it. I put the straight question 'do you definitely want us to do this'. And got a 'No'. Fair enough - I just wanted to know where I stood.


    However a couple of years later I found out that it was my fault - I refused to do this, even though I would have if she'd had the gumption to put herself on the line about it. Seems you can be a dream crusher even when there wasn't a dream, just a whimsy.


    This strikes me as being the way children think (not all of them thank heavens) Bleat for something you don't have; put the getting of it on someone else; balk at the realities; act like you got a raw deal. If men do this they are rightly regarded as jerks but it's normal in the 'entitlement princess' zone.

    More generally I have watched myself several times, turn from Mr. Fabulous into Mr. Useless. Amazingly this happened without changing a single thing I say or do, with each of the women I have lived with. In one case this happened right when I was consciously working on being as positive and devoted as I could. So even when you're going forwards it's possible to go backwards in the eyes of a female ingrate.


    I was brought up to think of / expect Marriage 1.0 and I do know a few people who have found a 1.0 Marriage, some I regard as very lucky, others are pretty much pussy-whipped. I know a widow who still lives as if she's married, she's definitely a 1.0 woman and I respect her hugely for that, but people like her are as rare as rocking horse dung. Myself I got the 2.0 version, and there are no bug-fixes. I did take a lot of convincing that the juice is not worth the squeeze, but life kept serving up the evidence, and convinced I now am.


    Opaque your other question - how do I find women now - I haven't been on a date for a couple of years and have hardly met anyone that merits a second glance. My work dealings are unchanged and I do have some admirable female colleagues, although whether they are equally admirable at home is not known to me. I noticed in one community group that when a bloke with certain I.T. skills joined, the females couldn't think up jobs for him quickly enough, the vibe was "here he is, how can we use him". Made me very careful what I'll put my hand up for there.


    What pisses me off reflecting on this is that I always had a healthy skepticism about women and each time I have become serious about a woman I have believed, with what seemed to be good reason, than she was a bit better than that sort of shit. I know you guys refer to this as the NAWALT fallacy.


    I think I found these mgtow forums as a spinoff from reading financial independence blogs, but really don't remember. As I said in original post, some other forums sink into a slag-off-fest, this is the only one I've registered on.




    Phlogiston

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ace Francis's Avatar
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    Re: Good to be here.

    Nope, I'm not feeling it. :

    You don't sound red pill to me at all in your post. Just mentioning little inconveniences/annoyances of a hypothetical dating/married life in WAY TOO vague terms-- that could apply to any gender--just doesn't cut it here!

    A moderator has ALREADY even told you to step it up!. (We don't suffer fools or trolls too kindly here.)

    We've had some of these folks lately with a a hard-on/wet pussy for avoiding the intro policy. When we mean what we actually say on that mere requirement, then typically, OF COURSE, these TRANSPARENT TROLLS subsequently LASH OUT at us when we call her/him out on it.

    I've got a feeling you're going to be that guy or girl again. Hamster away!...http://m.quickmeme.com/Rationalization-Hamster

    Here's HOW TO INTRO: http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow-intros/intro-27/
    Last edited by Ace Francis; January 16, 2019 at 8:00 PM.

  7. #7

    Re: Good to be here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ace Francis View Post
    Nope, I'm not feeling it. :

    You don't sound redpill to me at all in your post. Just mentioning little inconveniences/annoyances of a hypothetical dating/married life in WAY TOO vague terms-- that could apply to any gender--just doesn't cut it here!

    A moderator has ALREADY even told you to step it up!. (We don't suffer fools or trolls too kindly here.)

    We've had some of these folks lately with a a hard-on/wet pussy for avoiding the intro policy. When we mean what we actually say on that mere requirement, then typically, OF COURSE, these TRANSPARENT TROLLS subsequently LASH OUT at us when we call her/him out on it.

    I've got a feeling you're going to be that guy or girl again. Hamster away!...http://m.quickmeme.com/Rationalization-Hamster

    Here's HOW TO INTRO: http://www.goingyourownway.com/mgtow-intros/intro-27/
    I'm in agreement with you, what has been posted as an intro is nothing more than a bunch of platitudes and bromides. It reads much like a politician's campaign speech where effort is taken to say as little as possible with a maximum of words, and to avoid, at all costs, saying anything specific that can be focused on. I hear the hamster wheel warming up...
    I

  8. #8

    Re: Good to be here.

    I live and work in a small community. Australia is very anonymous in the big cities but once you are outside of them, anonymity is pretty non-existent. So I have no wish to be more specific.

    My writing style probably reflects my profession which again I do not want to specify. I'm certainly not a politician.

    I have been bloody furious in the past, but I am not angry any more and I did not come here to vent, just to say a couple of things and perhaps add to the 'strength in numbers' aspect of the forum.

    Not a troll, not a hamster, not going to argue about it, moderators do what you will.


    Phlogiston

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    Re: Good to be here.

    I been wrong before, but I'm not ready to call this one a troll or a women yet, even though their writing style is kind of similar.

    I vote we give e'm a chance.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  10. #10

    Re: Good to be here.

    I don't think he's a troll or a woman either.
    I just don't think he's quite ready for MGTOW yet. If what he posted was his 'journey' through the red pill then its severely lacking. I don't think he's actually swallowed the red pill yet.
    My bet is that he came here because he heard MGTOW was just a place where people say they're never going to get married/ be in a relationship. While that is true, you also have to be self aware of the system and taking the red pill is mandatory. That is also non-negotiable. And he doesn't look like he's quite there yet.

    No worries though. If he's reading, he should be there soon. Of course, the alternative is that he may double down on what he really thinks of everything but he has to suffer in silence with the things we post here because as soon as he makes it known in that, if tries to call anyone out for it because he disagrees, then its goodbye.
    If you believe everything you hear is a lie, you have a 100% lie detection rate.
    The opposite holds true but I would rather be surprised by the truth than a lie.

  11. #11
    Senior Member John Deer's Avatar
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    Re: Good to be here.

    This guy sounds like RCMP or a forest ranger.

  12. #12

    Re: Good to be here.

    Heh. You guys are gonna make him regret getting noticed...
    Shame is a womans primary weapon. Watch for it, and call it out wherever you see it. Few women know how to handle a man immune to shame.

  13. #13
    Moderator William Noy's Avatar
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    Re: Good to be here.

    Please step it up. Your story about your wife is sticking out due to the lack of dimensions. It's two dimensional; I want to get your impressions and how those impressions helped lead you to MGTOW.
    Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. --Seneca


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