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  1. #1

    I was abused, cheated on, took advantage of and living in depression. MGTOW has saved and improved my life

    About me:I'm an almost 29 years old I have mental issues which started being serious back in middle school. It's mostly about general anxiety (can’t calm down), social anxiety (rejecting invitations to parties, going out, skipping classes etc.), obsessive-compulsive disorders, low self-esteem and depression, personality - Neuroticism. I was doing „fine” until the end of the 1st year (grade) at university/college. I couldn’t handle my problems anymore, fell into depression, failed the 1st year. Next 6 months I spent in the dark room, not eating, not washing myself, depressed in bed. My parents took care of me, forced me to go to a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. It helped to some extent, I wanted to give myself another chance. It made me think a lot about myself and try to fix things.

    Meeting my girlfriend and me improving with my problems:It took place after my psychotherapy has ended and I stopped taking pills. We met online, thanks to our internet mutual male friend who I met in an online game. We started flirting very quickly. After 2 weeks of talking I decided to drive to her home (400km/250 miles) away. We had sex on the second day of meeting in real life, I booked a hotel. I was a virgin, she wasn’t , for half a year she couldn’t believe me because apparently I was so good at it. She was really nervous about it but eventually she believed me. Everything was going as good and usual as it is in every new relationship in the beginning. I had free time (no work/studies), same as she did. We were spending more time together in real life than the time when we were at our homes (usually 2-3 weeks living together, 1-2 week break).

    After half a year she revealed to me her problems:After 6 months she revealed to me that she used to have a really deep depression (and still does but less), social anxiety, lots of different mental issues about self low-esteem, her look, her future, her little knowledge and many more. I’m not even able to list all these things! When I first visited her home I already noticed it was a poor (not wealthy) house in the countryside but I didn’t care about it. After some time I learned that her father is an alcoholic since a looong time (often skips work), her mother is useless and can’t do anything about it, his brother moved out long time ago and doesn’t care about what’s going on. Both parents earning a minimum wage working in the city, they also have a farm, they are not educated. Father sometimes abused her minorly physically and usually mentally (for example – you’re gonna be noone anyway). She was given very little pocket money, being told to always eat at home – not away.

    Me being very supportive:Since beginning until the end (end – „current time”) I was always there for her. I can say that I sacrificied my life for her, my friends, parents, time, nerves and money. I’m very emphatic, I was telling her – „tell me about everything, we’re gonna try to fix it together”. I was trying my best to help her get out of her bad mood, her problems, comfort her, read about her problems, set up doctor’s appointments for her. I never shouted at her, I was always calm and listening, looking for a solution, even though sometimes I couldn’t handle it anymore and had occassional bursts of anger. I was also always helping her financially, whether it was buying suprise (no occasion) gifts, paying extra for food and shopping or paying for everything, buying common things which people use but she can’t afford (like a quality pillow, makeup accessories, event tickets, entertainment, a hair dryer or a boiling pot or a trash can). I can call it a sponsorship to some extent – I don’t earn my own money, I just come from a wealthier family.

    It felt like living two lives at once, having to deal with my problems and focusing on her ones. Being with her had an impact on me – I had someone to live for, to take care of, it made me partly forget about MY problems.

    And this is the time when her problems got on my nerves:I knew she had been hurting and cutting herself (wrists and thighs) repeatedly in the past, I saw the scars/marks on her body. Eventually she admitted it. I forced her to go to psychiatrist twice and I paid for it. She couldn’t afford any more meetings and pills. It made things a bit better for 2 months.She started „limiting/restricting me”. We were spending all the time 24 hours a week talking on TeamSpeak (online voice communication program), even sleeping online, not disconnecting unless one of us had to go out. We were both gamers even though we didn’t play much anymore. Few times when I wanted to play an online game with my male friends (who she got to know already) she was having a panic attack, threatening me – „Either you stay with me on TeamSpeak or I’m gonna hurt (cut) myself” –„You stay or I won’t forgive you” – „You stay or you’ll make me feel very bad” and similar sentences. The same reaction was applying to other situations – I couldn’t go out to McDonald’s to meet my male friend, I couldn’t go out to a club even though she clearly knows I’m not a „clubber” type of guy, I’m not looking at any other girls – we were both anxious „basement dwellers” to some extent.

    Another example – „If you don’t come to me now (in real life) you’ll regret it”. If I didn’t message her in the morning that I have waken up before her, she would fall into panic. Why though? All I can do outside of home is going to college or doing shopping. I was always telling her where I am, where I’m heading, same as she did when she was occassionally going out. Although it wasn’t like I can’t do anything – I was sometimes doing these things but she was angry at me. Eventually it came to a situation where she sent me a photo of her cut arm (with blood) to make me not play a game with friend and after a month she cut her thigh in front of my eyes. She was also freaking out about porn for the first 6 months – she thought that I’m watching it because apparently every man does. It makes her feel worse seeing better bodies. But I have never, even once, masturbated. I’m wondering why? but whatever, I just didn’t need it. Eventually she trusted me because I had strong evidences against her thought.

    Her moving out and living in an apartment in my city:She told me she hasn’t finished high school due to her deep depression. It was before we met. I helped her finish school and most importantly pass her exit exam which has impact on where she applies to college, helped mentally, helped with learning and financially. I was driving her to a school everyday for a week, being supportive all the time. Her marks were average but she found studies in my city. I helped her look for a cheap apartment, helped with bringing all her stuff to a new place (a whole packed car).It was a new place for her and meeting new people at college. She was afraid that she will be alienated from new friends because she doesn’t have true friends (except for me), that they will not like her.

    Within time it turned out she „got into” a group of new people who got closer together. They set up a Discord server (text and voice comm. program). When I first found out about it in December I told her to uninstall it and don’t talk there. For the first serious time I started restricing her. I was afraid she will meet someone new and forget about me. She told me she needs it not to „fall out” of the group but she agreed to my rule. After some time I found out that she is uninstalling the program before I come to her and installing it again after I walk out of her room. I told her I know she’s lying and she cut herself in front of my eyes, I had to clean it and bandage it. I also allowed her to use the text chat there.I was supposed to come to her apartment but she told me: „Don’t come today. My deep depression is back, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want you to see me”. I had a panic attack, didn’t know what happened. I couldn’t handle it anymore, I came to her at 11 PM. She wanted me to go back, didn’t want to touch me but I forced my stay for the night. She was crying, didn’t want to tell me what’s going on, didn’t want to look at me. For the next 2 days we were meeting (all the time she had the same mood) because she had appointments at both private gynecologist and psychiatrist which I forced and set up, I paid for it and paid for the pills.She stopped messaging me, stopped coming to a voice program server.

    I found out that she spents all the time talking to a new guy from her college group (they know each other for 5 months) and playing with him thanks to a new semi-expensive graphics card which I bought her for Valentines day 2 weeks ago. He is a part of this group of friends. On the next day she sent me a photo of a female streamer with big boobs and said „I found you a new girlfriend, she is a streamer so she can probably afford everything”.

    Recently I’ve been to a psychiatrist, I got SSRI pills which make things worse in the beginning for 2-3 weeks before they actually start balancing and helping.I have an extra key to her apartment which I bought (she agreed but didn’t want it). For the whole week I didn’t know what’s going on, I was only suspecting she might be cheating on me. I was in her room, waiting for her to come back from classes.After an hour of talking and me forcing her to say what’s going on she said: „I don’t know if I love you anymore. I might not have feelings for you. I don’t know what’s going on with my head. I fell in love with this new guy (the one that I was worrying about). I hope I will just fell out of love with him, I want it to go away, how can I fall in love with someone else if I have you? Why did this happen? I dont understand it. I can’t be with you anymore, it’s not fair to you to be with a person who doesn’t love you. You have future ahead of you, you can’t waste it on me. I don’t know if it’s going to be the same ever again. I can’t look at you crying because I know I hurt you. I didn’t cheat on you, I couldn’t have done this to you (while we were together)”.

    I couldn’t believe what I heard. I wanted to save the situation, telling her it’s just a temporary fascination/infatuation/crush. I suggested we don’t break up today, we’re going to have a 2-3 weeks break for her to find out what she feels. She agreed and said: „We need this break, I need this break, there’s so much going on in my brain, I need time to figure it out”. She also said: „We need a break but we’re not together anymore”, „I don’t even know if he will pass my hard requirements and if he will understand me”. She told me she thinks about me and cries everyday at a random time.

    After this day she’s still talking to this guy all the time. They are also going out when they have free time.I couldn’t wait this long, every single day since 27th of February I couldn’t focus on anything, been anxious, sweating, thinking, eating one snack a day, crying a lot. I lost 8 kg (17 lbs) in 2 weeks, I was already underweight before.I came to her apartment when she was at college. I bought her 9 roses and sweets, I drunk 400 ml (13,5 oz) of vodkawrote a „letter” on a piece of paper (where I said I can’t believe what happened and I hope it will all sort out successfully) and I was waiting for her to come back. She came back from college, started crying and asking what and why I did it to myself. She called her female friend, her friend came instantly. We were sitting together, I was telling her all the things which I wrote above in this thread. Eventually she said that what I did isn’t helping her, nothing has changed, she only started worrying about me much more. She said she still needs one more week. I stayed for the night, we were sleeping in a spoon position (actually more because the bed is really small but she admitted that she likes it). When I was walking out of the room next morning, she on her own cuddled me for goodbye for 10 seconds but didn’t kiss.

    About the guy she fell in love with:After she told me that she fell in love with me I messaged this guy on facebook. I told him about my and my girlfriend situation, about ALL of her problems including self-harm (with photos), restricting me, her diffcult family. I mentioned she likes him. He told me he thinks he likes her but they are only friends from the college. That he doesn’t want to do any harm to any one of us and he knows something bad is going on with her. I mentioned that she’s a difficult person, that he also might be harmed if she changes her mind. I told him I still love her, I want this situation to return to the previous state. I also asked him to keep this conversation private, only to his eyes, not to harm my ex or not ex girlfriend.I have access to her Messenger, she knows about it. I know this guy is 1 year younger than her, has his own mental issues, this is what he messaged her after he was coming back home from a meeting with her 2 days ago: „It’s not that I’m not quick-witted, I’m just shy. It is my fault. Isn’t it stupid that we think about the same thing, we know that we think about the same thing but we still act like nothing has happened? I’m really awkward. I’m the most awkward person in the world. I’m such a pus*y in real life.”

    I know he was depressed because he couldn’t find any girlfriend and probably never had any before. He doesn’t know how to „get the girl going”, how to start things like kissing and further intimacy. He is very slow. He probably doesn’t know how to help her, what to tell her when she’s already telling him she doesn’t want to live, that she feels very bad, that she doesn’t have motivation to live, she sends him memes about death or depression (for example, there is an image with a list of suicide methods with a scale of how quick and how painful each method is).Obviously she is the one who forces it, she’s „on his di*k” already in her thoughts. He is also a similar type of a person, same as me (hobbies, music, games, activities), personality that she likes. Her pattern, her „workflow” and approach are very similar to the one we had in the beginning. Sending him lots of her best pictures, „sneaky” sex/pervert messages.

    MGTOW was the thing that saved my life. I learned about the nature of women, what they do and why men are slaves. I'm tired of being the good guy and abused. I'm tired of wasting my life and money to a woman that will not love me back. Friends that gave me relationship advice was all useless. I've been clean of women for some time now and will never go back to that hell. I am trying to fix my life, fix my depression and enjoy the rest of it with my friends and family.If it wasn't for MGTOW and Red Pill I would still be living in hell trying to please women that abused me and took advantage of me. I was lied to, but now I've found the truth.

  2. #2
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: I was abused, cheated on, took advantage of and living in depression. MGTOW has saved and improved my life

    Hi Obnoxious,

    You had submitted two Intros today a few hours apart from each other. Both went into our hold bucket probably because of their length and their lack of paragraph breaks. They looked nearly identical to each other so I chose to approve the later of the two and I've inserted paragraph breaks where I hope it will help improve readability without busting up your story.

    Usually we have to push our new members to provide detail about their personal experiences but here you have amply done this. I can see from your description of her behavior that your ex-girlfriend has many problems. She is nowhere near fit to be a healthy partner to you, or to that other fellow, or to anyone. As you now know, you are better off without her. Now that you are away from her, may I suggest that you discard your key to her apartment, if you haven't done this already? Don’t send it to her as she may use that as a way to reconnect herself to you.

    Of course let your mind release itself of thoughts of her and her new boyfriend. They should not live rent-free inside your head any longer.

    Are you under continuing care of that psychiatrist, may I ask? Or has that ended?

    How did you discover MGTOW?

    Do you participate in other hobbies or activities besides gaming?

    Thank you.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  3. #3
    Moderator Unboxxed's Avatar
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    Re: I was abused, cheated on, took advantage of and living in depression. MGTOW has saved and improved my life

    Fuck my compassion, something wasn't right. It was copy/pasted from here, without the corny MGTOW add-on:

    https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=558117

    We have seen less verbose newbies arrive with personal problems, but I got trolled. Banned.
    Last edited by Unboxxed; April 20, 2019 at 9:18 PM.
    The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    - Henry David Thoreau

    There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    Suitable for bookmarking: www.fakehatecrimes.org and www.breitbart.com/tag/hate-crime-hoax

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Re: I was abused, cheated on, took advantage of and living in depression. MGTOW has saved and improved my life

    Obnoxious is as obnoxious does. Oh well, you did right even if your effort was wasted.
    Every day I make the world a little bit worse.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mgtower's Avatar
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    Re: I was abused, cheated on, took advantage of and living in depression. MGTOW has saved and improved my life

    Hey Unboxxed, I commend you for your efforts here as a moderator! You go above and beyond! You should get a medal of honor, a silver star, or at least a thanks! Your efforts certainly don't go unnoticed! You took the time to help me out when I rejoined under a different name and I appreciate it! Thank-you!


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