Thread: "You'll die alone"

What is this obsession with being forgotten/remembered? Why should I give a single flying fuck? As far as I can tell, I will be dead—or rather, there will not be an I anymore. So there will not be an I that could worry its sorry ass about whether people remember it or not. About 100 billion people have lived so far—can you so much as name them? I am not even asking for anything complicated, just simple biographical data… Only a very tiny minority of those 100 billion “live on” in our stories, and even our stories are limited by the shelf life of the species. So much for being remembered.

It is better to remember the good days you had sleep then the days where you will have the eternal sleep. Flip the mindset and it frees the mind to enjoy life by removing the chains of societal obligations.

Originally Posted by Don Keyknob

Don't blame you in the slightest.

I've already 'arranged' mine. They take you away, straight to the crematorium, scatter the ashes in their own grounds, no headstone, no service, no wake/party. £600. Everyone is moaning at me about it. I can only assume that they're thinking about the free buffet they'll be missing out on.

Is this UK Don? Where do you get this service from, sounds pretty good.

Originally Posted by CultVoid

Is this UK Don? Where do you get this service from, sounds pretty good.

Yeah...the UK. Looked it up a couple of years ago. Still have the details written down somewhere so I'll try to dig it up (if you pardon the burial pun)...but I assume that there would be a few places doing it.

Biggest racket ever. Funerals and their costs. They rely on people's feelings at an emotional time. People burying loved relatives and imagining that person is 'at rest' or something. It's a sad time, no doubt, but all that is essentially left is skin and bones.

My dad always said he wants a horse drawn carriage! (but not from his wallet, naturally)

There should be a state run option at a minimal cost.

Originally Posted by Ambassador Of Apathy

I wanted to ask you guys, where does 'dying alone' rank on the average female's list of fears?

Almost at the top. The female instinct is naturally social, much more then the male. Men build cities, women build societies. And they cannot stand the thought of being without one. This is likely a primal fear, back from the times where women needed the protection of men or the group, as they are more vulnerable alone then men are due to their reduced physical prowess (lower strength and stamina). And yea, when this is said, they are projecting.

There's a really great comeback to this one, that'll immediately drive this point home to her: "When we both die alone, only one of us will die with a smile on his lips."
Expect her face to go pale for a moment, before anger resurfaces.

Originally Posted by CultVoid

Is this UK Don? Where do you get this service from, sounds pretty good.

I got a prepaid cremation plan from the local funeral home. The parents had one, and theirs worked good. All your people have to to do is pick up the phone.


Mine cost most of a grand. Have seen some advertised for a few hundred less. I guess their considered bad investments. If the funeral home goes belly up or you move away your out a luck. But having no close family I wanted it taken care of.

Originally Posted by AeternusDoleo

Almost at the top. The female instinct is naturally social, much more then the male. Men build cities, women build societies. And they cannot stand the thought of being without one. This is likely a primal fear, back from the times where women needed the protection of men or the group, as they are more vulnerable alone then men are due to their reduced physical prowess (lower strength and stamina). And yea, when this is said, they are projecting.

There's a really great comeback to this one, that'll immediately drive this point home to her: "When we both die alone, only one of us will die with a smile on his lips."
Expect her face to go pale for a moment, before anger resurfaces.

Post of the month material here. Welcome aboard, AeternusDoleo

We all die alone, it doesn't matter how many people are around you or how many people you created or friends you have. I always think of my grandfather, he died alone in a nursing home 10 minutes drive from the house he worked to pay off. He was placed in the home due to dementia and years prior to that my mother and grandmother would always stop him from going outside which he loved because he suffered from emphysema and they were scared he would get sick and die. He would have been better off dying in the back yard than developing dementia and dying alone in a piss wreaking nursing home in the early hours of the morning.

Originally Posted by Morlock

We all die alone, it doesn't matter how many people are around you or how many people you created or friends you have. I always think of my grandfather, he died alone in a nursing home 10 minutes drive from the house he worked to pay off. He was placed in the home due to dementia and years prior to that my mother and grandmother would always stop him from going outside which he loved because he suffered from emphysema and they were scared he would get sick and die. He would have been better off dying in the back yard than developing dementia and dying alone in a piss wreaking nursing home in the early hours of the morning.

I have never understood the Western fear of death. We laud about the dignity of a good death in movies and in media, but when the time comes to die we sentence our elders to rot in an unfamiliar home, away from their family, in the care of strangers who don't even care about them. It is cruel and undignified at best. Unless you have the courage to end your own life, not as suicide but as a consciousness choice that it is the best and only choice left you have, you will never own your own life. I have lived on my own terms - I will die on my own terms.

Originally Posted by FrostByte

I have never understood the Western fear of death. We laud about the dignity of a good death in movies and in media, but when the time comes to die we sentence our elders to rot in an unfamiliar home, away from their family, in the care of strangers who don't even care about them. It is cruel and undignified at best. Unless you have the courage to end your own life, not as suicide but as a consciousness choice that it is the best and only choice left you have, you will never own your own life. I have lived on my own terms - I will die on my own terms.

I think a great deal of it is due to a lack of spiritualism in our society now. People fear death because that is the end rather than the beginning of something different. We keep being told life is sacred but it isn't really. Society proves that time and again.

In regards to my grandfather, I don't think he feared death or thought about it. I think my grandmother and mother were trying to keep him alive to save themselves guilt if he did get sick and die. I am not sure how that was really a good thing in the long run but I do believe that is what was going through their minds.

I agree that it is the living that fear to lose a loved one more, and cling to life than it is the dying willing to pass away.

The inelegance of death. Who is death for? Is it for the dead, or for the living? How unfortunate we each have to write our own interpretations and struggle with the contrasting multiplicity of them.

When I am at death's door, will I feel a cold void approaching? Will I suffer fear in those final breaths if I see no deceased relatives appear to escort me over the threshold?

I like that I think now and again about my parents who have both died. I believe it improves me to do this, as I contemplate that I loved them and they loved me, and I now miss them. I can take from this and apply it elsewhere in my life.

I have no tidy summation.

Actually, as a single dad, I WANT to die alone. And I want someone else to find me and not my children.
I'd like to go straight from alive to ashes, mixed with an eye irritant, and dropped from a drone over the University of Toronto Faculty of Women's Studies.
(The thought of feminists noses running, mucous membranes inflamed - a final goodbye and fuck you from SID hahahahaha).

But I digress.

Although I really want to see my parents off and be there at their end, my kids are too young yet...

I'd much rather die alone, in fact, I secretly wish for this already.

Originally Posted by Insidious_Sid

Actually, as a single dad, I WANT to die alone. And I want someone else to find me and not my children.
I'd like to go straight from alive to ashes, mixed with an eye irritant, and dropped from a drone over the University of Toronto Faculty of Women's Studies.
(The thought of feminists noses running, mucous membranes inflamed - a final goodbye and fuck you from SID hahahahaha).

But I digress.

Although I really want to see my parents off and be there at their end, my kids are too young yet...

I'd much rather die alone, in fact, I secretly wish for this already.

I understand this. My father did not want anyone around as his health declined which is why he opted to stay in hospice instead of going home for his remaining days. But we as family and friends still made an effort to visit him but his health declined so quickly. This is how I understood that he did not want us to remember him for his last seven days of his life but the 50+ years of life that he lived.

The ultimate death is the kids come and visit one last time, then I check out during the night while they are asleep.
They get the news, "He checked out 3:30am, peacefully in his sleep, no pain."

Could you think of a nicer farewell gift to give to your family!!

I mean, lingering and suffering is complete hell for the dying person, but it's no great hell for the family either - especially kids and grand-kids.

Ha, my original plans for death coincided with my plans for retirement: bear shit in the woods.

Originally Posted by Insidious_Sid

The ultimate death is the kids come and visit one last time, then I check out during the night while they are asleep.
They get the news, "He checked out 3:30am, peacefully in his sleep, no pain."

Could you think of a nicer farewell gift to give to your family!!

I mean, lingering and suffering is complete hell for the dying person, but it's no great hell for the family either - especially kids and grand-kids.

Yes this is why the funeral home personnel, priest, nurses, etc all said to me that most people pass peacefully in their sleep mid morning. That is when your body has to overcome the biggest hurdle to start momentum for the day biologically.