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  1. #21
    Senior Member TheRecipe's Avatar
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    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrBlue View Post
    While we are talking about electronic gaming...

    Can I ask for some help with my Tinder profile? Currently my hit rate is quite low - women do not often swipe right.

    First I'll reproduce the text from my profile:
    "Park run junkie. Braai Master. Software developer. 1.86m tall."

    Park run is a local social 5km run every Saturday morning, that I try to take part in as often as possible. A braai is an Afrikaans word for barbeque. See, I like cooking, but because cooking has feminine connotations, I thought I would use braai instead, which has masculine connotations. I'm usually the one who takes charge at a braai and sorts the meat out.

    For my profile picture, see this dating profile I created on another local dating site (which unfortunately is quite dead).

    DatingBuzz South Africa - Member Profile: MrBlue

    I tend to do a lot better on dating sites than on Tinder. That picture was taken recently by me, using a camera with a self timer.

    Any tips?
    Pictures are pretty much the only thing that matters, so concentrate on them, heres a couple of things that might work:

    - Show you are fun to be around, have a couple pics of you doing some activity e.g. making bbq, rock climbing, sailing, in another country etc...
    - Social proof - add some pics of you with other people, with other women = bonus, especially if they're hot.
    - Try some of the tricks in this article.
    - Upload a bunch of pics to hotornot and pick the highest rated ones.
    - Outdoor pics seem to do better (imo).
    - Suit pics can do good especially if you're wanting to get laid fast.

    Profile:

    - Make sure you leave some hooks (interesting/unique conversation starters).
    - Check out your competition, make sure your profile is unique stands out.
    - I wouldn't mention anything about my job (other than job title field), this is like waving a flag with "beta provider" printed on it.
    - Lying is ok, as long as it's believable. E.g. you could say you were 1.90m tall and get away with it, to my knowledge they haven't started carrying around tape measures yet!
    - Take bits and pieces from other profiles and mash them up. Also change a few words here and there so it can't be found on google.
    Last edited by TheRecipe; January 12, 2015 at 1:50 AM.
    Marrying a woman is like taking a shit upside down every day for the rest of your life. Don't do it!

  2. #22

    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    Thanks!

  3. #23

    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    Is this a good place to ask for more advice, or should I start a new thread? Mods let me know.

    There is a girl I am chatting to on a dating site. Last week, I sent her a message asking her for coffee this weekend. I can see from the dating site that she read it early in the morning on Thursday. I sent it on Wednesday. She didn't login after that until this morning. Anyway, she has now replied, but dodged the question about me asking her out for coffee. Instead I get, sorry last week got crazy, how was your weekend?

    Should I bother responding? How can I do so without losing frame (if I haven't already)?

    On a side note, I actually think it is a bad thing that these dating sites, and indeed other social networks, make so much information available. You can track people pretty easily.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    I wouldn't respond at all, it's clear that you're not her first option -- and if you're not her first option, then do you want to be an option at all? Unless of course you're just looking for a little quick action and no more, in which case cocky/funny is probably the best bet...
    Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.

    "Love is for poets." -- Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod

  5. #25

    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    Thanks Victor, realized you are completely right.

    Lurkers, notice how easy it was for me to become a beta orbiter. If I made her giny tingle, she would have responded to my message last night. Being busy is just an excuse - she would have made me a higher priority than her work. I mean come on, it takes 5 minutes to respond to a message, if that. Doesn't everyone have a smartphone these days?

    Also note that she continued the interaction while also ignoring me asking her out. Why? If she wasn't interested, and she clearly isn't, then why respond at all? Answer: attention.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    You're quite welcome! It is so much easier to see from the outside than when you are in it.

    And excellent point regarding the attention. It always seems to come down to attention whoring, doesn't it?
    Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is optional.

    "Love is for poets." -- Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod

  7. #27

    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    For the ones who know they are pretty, yes it does. Alpha men ration the attention that they give to such women, which makes their attention more valuable. Beta men (such as myself) are too free with our attention, and so it loses value. Even if you were an extremely good looking guy with a great body, if you are too free with your attention, it has less value.

    Still, women love attention, and most of the time are not picky about who provides it to them. So they will lap up attention provided by guys who they have no intention of dating, and have even been known to get jealous and possessive when these beta orbiters then find girlfriends of their own.

    There is one exception, and that is the creeper. I'm not sure how a woman decides if a guy can be a beta orbiter or is just creepy. I suspect it has to do with approach, looks and her self esteem at the time. If a woman's self esteem is low enough, she will even want attention from a creeper. Just because it will make her feel better.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Azure Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrBlue View Post
    For the ones who know they are pretty, yes it does. Alpha men ration the attention that they give to such women, which makes their attention more valuable. Beta men (such as myself) are too free with our attention, and so it loses value. Even if you were an extremely good looking guy with a great body, if you are too free with your attention, it has less value.

    Still, women love attention, and most of the time are not picky about who provides it to them. So they will lap up attention provided by guys who they have no intention of dating, and have even been known to get jealous and possessive when these beta orbiters then find girlfriends of their own.

    There is one exception, and that is the creeper. I'm not sure how a woman decides if a guy can be a beta orbiter or is just creepy. I suspect it has to do with approach, looks and her self esteem at the time. If a woman's self esteem is low enough, she will even want attention from a creeper. Just because it will make her feel better.
    Rationing attention is one aspect of it, but the other is being preoccupied with others activities. In a woman's mind, a man that has goals, objectives, "driven" (aka trying to make more money), wants to be the captain of a ship, etc is perceived to be Alpha. A true beta is grinding his nose at his stable job on the other hand. If you are man that doesn't fall in the Alpha/Beta categories and are not attractive it means you are going to fall into the creepy bin of a woman's mind.

    As we all know no man is truly beta or alpha in their entire life time. This state is so dynamic it can change within a few weeks (eg going from alpha to beta). These categorizations are used however for sake of brevity and conveying ideas, especially those that have less knowledge about these social dynamics.

    Beta orbiters are on the low end of the scale of beta's and the reason why they are so common is that young men were taught all the wrong lessons growing up. Older men tend to fall into the strong beta provider or alpha paradigm a lot more. And then of course there are men going their own way that don;t care about such labels and do what they want.

  9. #29

    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    Thanks Azure Nomad.

    Well, I'm in the midst of another Tinder experiment, and it is going well so far.

    Recently started growing a beard and cut my hair to buzz cut length. I started growing a beard out of solidarity with my team, who were all growing beards. So I joined in. I'm keeping it short and neat though. I buzzed my hair because I had had the same haircut for something like 15 years. To cut a long story short and avoiding writing an essay on my hair, I basically did it precisely because I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to. There was no good reason not to.

    Results thus far are promising - 8 Tinder matches in under 48 hours, far more than I normally get in a similar period.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Eiji's Avatar
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    Re: Is Electronic Gaming Dead?

    the words of a certain computer comes to mind.....
    "A strange game... the only winning move is not to play..." - Joshua, WarGames
    "I live in freedom, under my own flag." - Captain Harlock

    "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." - Arthur C Clarke

    "Who's the more foolish? The Fool? Or the Fool who follows him?" - Obi-wan "Ben" Kenobi

    "In servitutem redigi non recuso" - Latin (translates to "I refuse to be dominated.")


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